(btw, you can download some movie footage of her having ‘sex’. Call me old fashioned but I’ve always felt copulation was a two-way affair, lying down on your back motionless with a Kango Hammer sized vibrator glued to your giggle horn, whilst some desperate- to-impress porko waves his prong inside your cavernous liver sock, doesn’t really epitomise a shared experience)

Let us never speak of her again.

that’s priceless

Where are you?

The thing I hate most about Kitchen Nightmares USA is the horrible American editing – moment, talking head, repeated moment, another talking head, alternate angle, voiceover, moment, talking head… there’s no fucking narrative to it at all, just a collection of clips which fit the prewritten story.

In saying that, I do like it. Ramsey is like John C McGinelly from Scrubs – you haven’t got to like him, but he is right.