“Hello, I’m James Dyson.
I made a big deal out of the fact my overpriced vacuum cleaners were made here in Britain, got loads of praise for supporting the home team, got myself a knighthood, then made 800 workers redundant when I greedily shifted my manufacturing operation to the Far East.
“Even though I’ve already charged you vast sums of money for one of my old vacuums, I’ve now had the revelation that they were all shit because they don’t pivot around on a ball, like the new one I came up with in 2005 does. I even say in my new advert that there was a problem with the way all old vacuums moved around – that, therefore, includes my old cleaners.
“But you can swivel if you think I’m offering you a refund for selling you a shit vacuum last time. And you’ll not get an apology, neither.
“I’m James Dyson. Buy one of my new vacuum cleaners, and ignore the fact I’ve admitted I sold you a bum deal last time around.”