Another year, another Big Fat Quiz Of The Year. Previously, this was decent, low-grade Christmas TV fodder. You could even stand Jimmy Carr and his casual bigotry as the outing relied more heavily on the panelists, made up of, if memory serves:
- A pre-Manuel-trouble Jonathan Ross, gamely trying to keep up with the cool kids and acting the giddy goat, managing to be funny for ten percent of the time.
- A pre-Manuel-trouble Russell Brand, putting in a good spot in conjunction with partner in crime…
- Noel Fielding. Noel Fielding is one of those annoying swines who personifies likability. Thus, anything with him in it is generally alright.
- David Walliams – like Ross, trying a bit too hard, but keeping the thing afloat with enthusiasm and idiocy.
- David Mitchell – always good quality, even when he’s in something shit.
- Someone else I can’t remember. [update] It was the comedian and good egg, Rob Brydon.
This year, things went horribly, horribly wrong. Ross is on a forced holiday because he done a naughty on a phoneline. He couldn’t appear as a result, presumably. Brand was unavailable for similar reasons, in addition to promoting a proper career abroad. Mitchell must have been busy and Walliams is in America. Consequently, we were left with a real horrorshow. Barrels were scraped and dogshit scraped ceremoniously from shoes as Channel 4 booked, presumably whilst drunk:
- Claudia Winkleman – that woman off Liquid News in the 90s who looks like a goth nine-year-old who’s being continuously tasered.
- Dara O’Briain – a man who claims he’s a comedian but is actually just Irish. And, disgustingly, he can’t even spell his own name.
- That posh man – who is infrequently funny on Have I Got News For You.
- Sean Lock – a cracking comedian whose usually brilliant humour was sullied for the second time this year by that arsehole:
- James Corden – why? Why, why, why? Why is this bastard even… even…. Why is he…
…I can’t be arsed.
- Oh – and Davina Fucking McCall.
Need I go on? Does the resultant car crash even warrant description?
Does it buggery. Even the bit where the kids from a primary school do an amusingly amateurish and endearing take on an event from the preceding year fell flat, thanks to the berks on stage following the clip, hooting like gorillas and revelling in their own crap jokes. What a ruddy letdown.