AA maaaan



I think it’s an AA ad, either way it ends with ‘he’s a very nice maaaan a very very nice maaaaaan’’

The emphasis of ‘maaan’ is meant to be humorous as the two protagonists of the fucking advert are, we are led to believe, on their way to a ‘rock’ concert

We know this because the ad opens with an diminutive ugly rat faced forty-something sliming into some sort of 4 by 4, waving a pair of tickets under the nose of a Ray Mears look alike but with the addition of a booming ginger beard and weakly yelling “Rock and Roll!”

He sits down looking well pleased with his rodent self and attempts to get air through his enormous hooter.

The bland smug gingerbeard tool is DRIVING TO A FUCKING ‘ROCK’ CONCERT…

Boy, are they going to have a good time on the lemonades and peanuts for fuck’s sake.

I digress.

Now judging by the visible part of the tee that Ratty is wearing (fire, top of a pentagram) this would be a ‘heavy-metal’ concert, whilst you can just about picture ratty pinching your girlfriend’s bottom and sniffing his finger at the closing set of a Europe concert, the large gingerbeard is a million fucking light years from even the most unlikely person you’d see at a gig, and that includes little Chinese men in suits.

He’s the sort of man one would find at the end of one’s bed at 4am masturbating onto your feet with an expression so non-specific you’d think he was googling the colour beige.

Put it this way, if they actually were going to a gig, I bet at least two of the band members are convicted paedophiles.

Are adverts trying to kill me slowly with stress? Next week Fearne Britton eating food.

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