Skins

 

*American voiced deep-voice voice-over man voice*

THE 80S BROUGHT YOU PRESSGANG

THE 90S BROUGHT YOU HOLLYOAKS

And God looked round at what he had created and saw it was good.

So for 2007 we have Skins.

Skins is the bawdy tale of a group of Bristol friends who appear to be around upper sixth age (or year 13 or whatever it’s called these days) , takin’ drugs, shaggin’, boozin’, fightin’ and basically doing everything that you probably did between the ages of 16 (or younger if you were a delinquent) and 20 but squishing it down so it appears that this all happens on a twice daily basis.

I (vaguely) remember being at 6th form, but I’m sure I had to do work for my A-levels and have a Saturday job at Primark. That wouldn’t make such cutting-edge yoof-orientated programming though, admittedly.

But so much has changed since those heady days of 1994-1996. Did the good burghers of Hollyoaks have their own myspace pages? No, because the internet had hardly even been invented then, and it took forty minutes to download a single page, and it was more interesting to make mix-tapes anyway. But the Skins people do. Look at their faces here and here and here and . . . well, you get the idea.

It’s quite badly thought through though. Sid, for example, is the geeky-cool one. We have seen (in the last episode), the inside of his bedroom. He has a computer with internet access in it. How is it then, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that he last logged into his myspace account on the 29th of January this year? I am a 29 year old woman with a full-time job, yet I check mine more often than that (on works time, admittedly). IT JUST DOESN’T ADD UP.

Also, in a recent episode, Tony, the smug-faced kid from About A Boy dumps his girlfriend. They are back together now, but he remained in her ‘top friends’ while they were still split up. Hardly likely, is it. I moved someone out of my top friends for not replying to an email once, let alone pulling my heart out of my chest and stamping upon it.

Having reread all this, it might seem odd to spend so much time stalking virtual-teenagers through the internet, but it’s not. Okay? Don’t be so fucking judgmental! I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME. I DIDN’T ASK TO BE FUCKING BORN.

*slams bedroom door*

Tags: Bodily Functions, Channel 4, Skins, Television, Twats