‘Mum’s night off’, suddenly, before we’ve even fucking begun I’m suddenly looking over the fence into the white underclass of guttershites that pervade this country, the same cunts that buy huge fucking buckets of fast food are the same cunts who moan about blacks taking their jobs and how all Muslims should be deported, jailed or killed.

‘Mum’s night off’ from the usual… dad rolling in from spending all the family support in the bookies and on booze, urchin children picking each others’ noses on a threadbare couch in front of a brand new flatscreen TV bought only last week from a skinhead in a tracksuit for a monkey. Mum herself haggard well beyond her age and as fat as a fucking walrus, dirty sparse roots leading to a dry frizzing blonde, too much eyeliner and a perpetual Superking drooping over her smeared pink lippie.

This night, she doesn’t need to pierce the film on a packet Lasagne from Lidl and fling it in the crusty microwave, open a can of supermarket brand baked beans, or even so much as pick up a plate, for tonight Wayne, 15, two ASBO’s and a court case pending, has returned from the KFC with buckets of fucking pig slop, chips, fizzy piss and vast clods of melted cheap foul chocolate, all for a fucking fiver.

But the best bit, the great part is that while this squadron of pricks loll about in front of The Bill, wiping sticky, greasy fingers on their nylon jogging pants, Shereen, 12, all gold hoop earrings and G-strings only has to stuff all the cardboard and plastic into the giant fucking bucket the fried shit came in and drop the whole lot into the bin.

Recycle? Equality? Health? No – it’s Mum’s fucking night off in an England racing towards it’s own self-serving grave.

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6 Responses to “KFC”

  1. BPP Says:

    Still, hats off to the Zinger Burger. Hmmm lovely.

  2. Swineshead Says:

    I’m partial to the fillet burger, mainly when pissed off my face.

  3. Clair Says:

    *laughs guiltily*
    The idea meal for that poor little kid Connor McReaddie, whose mum can get a Family Feast just for him, then complain that she doesn’t get any help from the Council to make him lose weight.


  4. Swineshead Says:

    Feed him his own hands?

  5. piqued Says:

    Has anyone got change for a cup of tea?

  6. Domboy Says:

    That was a beautiful entry, like poetry, if poetry had progressed into the 21st Century.

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