Sky Movies

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I’ve got Sky Movies, which means I actually have options when it comes to watching television (unlike you rabble of feckless scum with the Freeview boxes you managed to get with your dole money from Cash Converters … get a job you dogs). So far this fuckin’ week I’ve watched these fuckin’ movies on my fuckin’ movie channels (all thirteen of ’em – fuck you!) …

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith – Utter shit, the shittest of the shit. SHIT. George Lucas should be boiled.

The Wedding Crashers – Isla Fisher’s hot hot tits, ass, tits ‘n’ ass, ass ‘n’ tits. Hot tits. TITS. A good film if you like women’s tits (and who doesn’t eh?).

War of the Worlds – Not bad but Tom Cruise still wants booting in the nuts … and the boy looks like a Paul McCartney impersonator with mumps.

Walk The Line – Oh so that’s why everyone’s pretending to like Johnny Cash and country fucking music recently is it? Bit boring I thought and that woman’s chin is offensive.

Flightplan – Jodie Foster looks like she’s got cancer. Sean Bean puts on that crap upper-class accent he’s been strugglin’ with since Goldeneye. They find the kid in the plane’s nose-cone … warning this review contains plot spoilers etc.

So there you are. FUCK YOU!!

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