Fat Man’s Warning

by

Steve Daly 

I’m glad I’m not fat. If I was, I would be even sicker than I already am of all of the health based scare-mongering going on.

This time it’s a fat American who thought he’d drag his unwanted, sagging mass into the
UK to warn us that we’re heading for a plague of pigshit if we keep munching burgers and cakes, etcetera, in Fat Man’s Warning, last Sunday.

His name is Steve Daly. Apparently he’s a comedian but I wouldn’t be surprised if his act just consisted of him poking fun at himself for being fat in the hope that others might not.

It’s hardly worth mentioning that his feet are too fat for normal shoes or that he can barely do anything other than eat. Nor is it worth saying that he’s on the verge of death, they always are in these programmes about massively obese food botherers. Anyway, there’s no way his heart can keep pumping blood around that mess for much longer.

I read an article about his quest in a local rag prior to it’s airing, and I recall a quote by Daly in which he claimed that “Britain is about four years behind
America, and soon you’re all gonna be as fat as me”.

Later in the show he again reiterated that Britain is about four years behind America.

Two things here, This unsightly shit is an arrogant arse, who clearly thinks we are so stupid and ignorant about the weight debate, that we need some stinking pile of shit to come over here and ‘save us’ with his one man crusade. Well I happen to think he should sort himself out before he mouths off outside KFC or McDonalds with his banner aloft, trying to spread fear among the public.

Next, I would beg to differ that we are indeed four years behind America. It sounds to me like something Americans tell each other to feel good about themselves.

So anyway, you get the picture, he visits
Britain’s towns and cities pestering those foolish enough to engage with him. He waddles around with a placard saying ‘I love KFC, look at me’, trying to strike up preachy conversations about food with locals.

In one scene, Daly prowls the streets protesting about himself again, and starts a conversation with some teenage lame-brain who commented that the government should ban McDonalds and the like, since they know it’s unhealthy. At this point Daly praised the boy for his intelligence in saying this.

Good idea, why not ruin it for everyone just because some fat hoovers have no self control?

Those who can’t regulate their eating habits deserve to suffer. Some may say they should be lead them down to the bottom of the garden like worn out dogs and shot for being the broken creatures they are, but obviously, I would never say such a thing.

Anyway, the show was shit. In fact, this programme was so one dimensional it felt like a conversation with Jade Goody.

Daly is a useless toilet with no people skills, who isn’t even particularly clever or articulate. As for being a comedian, he must have left his joke book at home because he didn’t crack one gag, and if he did, then I didn’t hear it.

I felt that the scene where he coaxed a bunch of young kids to climb inside his trousers was bumbling into the arena of the perverted, but somehow he got away with it. Ok, he wasn’t wearing them at the time, but still…

In one of his sermons he cries “A child, when it’s obese won’t make it past fifty three years old”. That really makes sense, I thought. That must be why I never see any fat 54 year old children anywhere.

Here is what I couldn’t understand – one minute he’s drawing crowds as he delivers his grim message of doom, the next he’s wandered off somewhere else and is scoffing chips, kebabs and the whole caboodle with fat locals. There is a scene later on where he goes into Mills store with a load of kids – yep, hanging around kids again (seemingly the only people who’ll listen to him) – and buys a carrier bag full of chocolate bars. I’m guessing he thinks he’s doing research when actually he’s sending out confused messages. He’s telling people not to eat the very stuff he’s stuffing his fat face with. I think it’s an elaborate ploy in which he plans to consume all the junk food in the world for himself.

Another pearl from the Steve Daly book of wisdom? Ok: “Blackpool is a giant toy in the happy meal of
England”.

Shit stuff.

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8 Responses to “Fat Man’s Warning”

  1. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Q. How many fat men does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A. Well one, obviously … but I bet he’d rather be eating butter and farting like an egg-bound old dog.

  2. TR Says:

    Man – give it a rest!

  3. piqued Says:

    TR, are you ‘big boned’?

  4. jonnie condom Says:

    this man is a fattie

  5. ignorant Brit Says:

    How ignorant you are about television. What issues do you have with yourself that you feel the need to mouth off about something that, i can only assume, does not affect you in any other sense other than ”being botherd” with it. Ignorant Brit.

  6. Clare Says:

    HI just wanted to say that I felt some of your comments in relation to this program were completely unjust!

    For istance and I quote “…..I felt that the scene where he coaxed a bunch of young kids to climb inside his trousers was bumbling into the arena of the perverted, but somehow he got away with it. Ok, he wasn’t wearing them at the time, but still…

    This scene did not offend me in the slightest and if it did it would have no relation to the fact that he let children stand in his trousers to make a visual point to the engaged class of his weight! People like you really get on my nerves, you really do…. How can you say that teaching children REALITY is a wrong thing to do????

    I think you should get a grip and really try to understand this guys and other peoples struggle with food and the way society has pushed junk food. This big chains are money making machines and live off these people!

    and before you even say it…..I am not saying all this beacause I am overweight…none of my family are overweight nor any of my friends so I am not saying this because I am fat. These issues need to be addressed and if a obese man walking down the street with a banner talking to people about his weight helps this along then it can only be a positive thing..surely????

    Please re think what you have said and how you effect people with your words. Please also bear in mind that for instance Katie Price AKA Jordan in the UK has an obese child, she and everyone around her is skinny! All I can say is watch what you say as you may have children one day and they develop or be born with a diesese that may effect their weight! How would you react then?????

    Think about it!

  7. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Oh aye? And what ‘disease’ would this be then? The disease that renders one completely incapable of passing up a sausage sandwich?

    Here’s some real diseases:

    Cancer
    AIDS
    Hepatitis
    Tuberculosis

    And here’s a fake one:

    Doing fuck all but sitting in a chair troughing from an enormous bucket of chicken then blaming your behaviour on hormones

    ‘Struggle with food’? My arse. Try struggling up a hill once in a while, you fat bastard.

  8. Caroline Says:

    your article sounds like you have a bad attitude to everything, not just obesity, a typical internet whining misery guts. I thought that the programme was OK and that it was interesting when he went to Boston and everyone was so apathetic about the problem. It only has mixed messages if you don’t understand that a morbidly obese person is fighting a losing battle with their appetite – even a body that fat tries to maintain that massive bulk. I think that it would have had more impact if it had not been a funny person, and perhaps a woman, but it is hard for a woman to be that revealing.

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