Despite watching this stone cold sober I found it baffling and uninspired. For those with better things to do, the synopsis is thus: ordinary people that have superhuman powers.

The thing about ‘super’ power is that before you’ve even begun one is expected to suspend belief in the rational, but we have a fucking problem when the producers are desperately trying to convey how ordinary they are. If one has ‘super’ human powers one isn’t ordinary are they? (and the word ‘super’ annoys the shit out of me; it’s so bland and unspecific. I mean if you could fly, to say it’s ‘super’ is a bit of an understatement).

We start off in India where a Professor in genetics by the name of Mohinder finds out his father has been killed. He took the news very well I hasten to add – bloody awful acting… Turns out Pops had a controversial theory on human evolution so he goes to New York to find out what happened to him.

We then start to learn more about the individual ‘Heroes’ that presumably Mohinder’s dad knew of, and obviously explains his death, which means that others know of these Heroes too. One of the main characters, Mr. Bennet, the only character without a forename, suspiciously, seems to be ‘on’ to our gifted friends, even if they don’t fully realise their abilities yet…

We then continue to follow the day-to-day lives of a handful of characters in the USA, conveniently, as they realise they are ‘super’. I can’t be fucked to list them all, so if you really care go here and check them out. The only other foreign chap, a Japanese fellow called Hiro (hero – geddit?), is able to bend the fabric of the space/time continuum. Surely this character negates the whole fucking concept of the plot because anything bad/good to come/go can be reversed/pre-empted. He arrives in New York at the end of the first episode, by using his special powers. Ooer.

A modicum of attention must be made to the Texan cheerleader who is indestructible; so far we’ve seen her leap from great heights only to un-crunch her broken body, catch on fire without injury, blend her hand and have her neck broken only for it to crack back into place… really, if you could actually do any of this stuff, keeping it secret would be last thing on your mind. Channel 4 would pay a fucking fortune for that sort of shit and The Sun would be your pension.

Anyway, already some of the characters know each other, I presume this isn’t a coincidence that they’re, in some way, all connected… though having said that I wouldn’t be surprised if it isn’t, such is the dire lack of imagination that has gone into the initial stages of the ‘plot’.

Essentially this is yet more over hyped shit from the USA and it’s duller than dishwater.


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13 Responses to “Heroes”

  1. Proudfoot Says:

    Yet another show-off bending the fabric of the space/time continuum again, eh?

  2. Joe C Says:

    I watched the first ten episodes on DVD a few months back, and I pretty much agree with everything you say. The acting is dire for the most part, with one or two exceptions, and it’s hardly an original idea.

    The main problem I found was that there are so many characters and only a 40 minute slot for each episode, so cliffhanging endings tend to not get resolved at the beginning of the next episode – they might suddenly pop up half way through, or even worse, not be picked up on again until a later episode. This can get really annoying as any modicum of suspense and drama that has been built up dissipates pretty quickly. Plus you cease to give a shit about the fate of certain characters, as you’ve forgotten what plight they may have been in by the time it comes around again.

    Having said all this, I will definitely be watching from where I left it before as it is mildly addictive, in the same way as a prescription for valium can be. It does the job, fills an entertainment void and is better than most other programmes in the same slot. Though this is hardly a ringing endorsement – it’ll do I suppose.

  3. piqued Says:

    Despite my usual cynicism on the strength of 1.5 episodes (I had a quick wank in the 2nd) I’ll agree with you in so far that it has the potential to be midly interesting enough to possibly cause me to watch some more

    What are you wearing?

  4. Joe C Says:


    Remember Russ Abbot’s hilarious ‘Rock on Tommy’ character from his Laughter Free hour with the dead Dustin Gee? I’m similarly attired, but minus the ginger wig.

  5. piqued Says:

    Christ, I do

    You saucy bastard

  6. Badger Madge Says:

    No, no, no Piqued you are wrong! Heroes is fantastic. Stick with it, suspend your disbelief (concentrate on that cheerleader if you find yourself dozing off) and I reckon you’ll end up liking the series as a whole (or at least tolerating it). Yes the acting is a little wooden at times (esp that Mohinder chap) but it is a superb series, promise.

    And all this stuff about cliffhangers not being resolved – that’s what I like about Heroes: the big story arcs – it’s really like a comic.

    Yes, Hiro can go back and change things, but (as you’ll see) this might have other consequences… Oooh er.

  7. Napoleon the penis-faced General Says:

    It was Les Dennis with Dustin Gee wasn’t it? The mighty Abbot (best character: Basildon Bond – see what he did there?) was with Jeffrey Holland and Bella Emburg (Lugosi). I think anyway. You cunts.

  8. Swineshead Says:

    Songs of joy and
    Tears of laughter
    Are all we need
    To lift our hearts.

  9. Napoleon the penis-faced General Says:

    I used to love that show.

  10. piqued Says:

    I think The Russ Abbot Show was so diametrically opposed to ‘tears of laughter’ it ceases to be even ironic, that was until Dustin Gee died, I got that one.

  11. Napoleon the penis-faced General Says:

    Y’see, I’m sure Gee and Dennis were on a different show to the Abbot. Wasn’t that how it was? Or am I pissing into the wind with my faulty memory?

  12. Mikey Says:

    i think this is the only country whereby you are forced to buy a “license fee” under duress.

  13. Dave Medlo Says:

    My Dad used to write for Russ Abbot.

    And that’s any credibility I might have had gone straight down the drain.

    Heroes is a bit rubbish. Having watched the whole series I can confirm that it gets interesting towards the end, but that’s about 19 episodes in and, frankly, it’s not worth the wait. It thinks that it’s really groundbreaking and interesting, but it panders instead of challenges and has more than a whiff of OC soap opera dramatics about.

    The second series has a spin-off where they introduce new characters and then the audience will vote as to which one should join series 3. I mean, for fucks sake – can’t the creators have a fucking backbone? It’s your series, why pander to the X-Factor crowd by introducing a voting system…?

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