ASDA adverts

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Celebrities are amazing people. Truly, madly, deeply amazing people. They can brighten our day, make us feel special and turn even the most humdrum act into an exciting, liberating experience.

Take, for example, working for ASDA. To the vast majority of normal people it is a great example of a McJob – mentally and physically demanding, underpaid, patronising and exploitative – but in the hands of Ian Wright it is a joyous task filled with comedy banter, idle conversations and pleasure-bringing to the great unwashed. How wonderful! The job seems to be so much easier and improved with the inclusion of a celebrity fish-seller it makes you wonder why ASDA haven’t sacked their entire workforce and replaced them with washed up TV pundits. Think about it; one roaming camera crew to keep up the quality service and you’ll have thousands more customers flocking through the doors clammering to see Chantelle making pies and Nick Hancock offering wine-tasting.

What’s very interesting about Ian Wright’s behaviour in this advert is that almost everything he does would urge disiplinary action against normal employees. Were a 17 year old shelf-stacker to hustle or entertain customers in such a manner, they would find themselves hauled into the manager’s office and verbally beaten into submission. Were the 17 year old also to be overly familiar to customers, approach children offering them food and disply a lack of knowledge of their subject then you can guarantee that they’d be shown the door.

The advert tells us more about ASDA than they’d like us to know; primarily that they’re tight enough to rely on celebrity association rather than specialised branding. It’s far cheaper to throw a c-list celebrity into a store and let him interact with minimum wage employees (who will not have been paid extra for their involvement) than a considered and creative campaign from a large advertising company. Shoot it on handheld low-grade camera to keep costs down and you can afford to throw even more money at your designated ‘personality.’

At least Ian Wright is a better choice than their previous spokesperson, Sharon Osbourne. Her gurning, patronising spiel about bargains and parental responsibilities just made a nation stare aghast – amazed that anyone could think she was a thrifty shopper, let alone a good parent.

It’s an awful advertising campaign; misleading, simplistic and exploitative of their workforce. Much like the company itself.

“Asda has been criticised for misleading advertising, using suppliers who are known to have illegal employment practices, ignoring planning regulations and destroying greenbelt land, lack of serious environmental policy and blatant greenwash. With its ‘strategy of consolidation’, copied directly from Wal-Mart, Asda pursues an aggressive takeover policy of small towns, wiping out local competition and local jobs. False claims by the company about ‘value’ and ‘convenience’, have been challenged, along with the exploitation of every opportunity to push impulse buying”

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20 Responses to “ASDA adverts”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    You’re not the only one disgusted by how retail is going down the pan.
    I went into Costcutters last night to buy 3 Bernard Matthews Chicken Kievs for the usual £2 cost only to discover Bernard’s gone and added another 29p onto the price!

    The grumpy old Norfolk bastard.

  2. piqued Says:

    No, Ian Wright isn’t better than Sharon Ozzy, the man is a fucking thug with 3 bernard matthews chicken kievs for brains

    Still, the one with Paul Whitehouse was fucking hilarious wasn’t it, best thing he’s ever done that

    Wel dun Paul

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Why is Ian Wright, Wright, Wright a thug?
    Because you don’t like football?

    Leave Arsenal’s second highest goalscoring genius well alone, for you know not of whom you speak. He has more talent in one little toe than many of your idols.

  4. Swineshead Says:

    In addition, Sharon Osbourne is an insufferable shit.

  5. fidothedog Says:

    It could be worse they could get that Kerry Katona woman back for the adverts.

  6. piqued Says:

    Ian Wright comes across in that advert as a yob, I don’t care (or know of his) ball related skills, and as for the ludicrous ‘more talent in one little toe than many of your idols’, I didn’t realise we were 11 all of a sudden

  7. Swineshead Says:

    That was Iceland though, Fido, which is an even lower class of supermarket.

    So in terms of class ratio, going from the bottom up, we have:

    Iceland: Kerry K

    Morrissons: Nick H, Denise VO

    Asda: Sharon O, Ian W, Victoria W

    Sainsburys: Jamie Oliver

    Marks & Spencer: No celebs, just porny food. Clothing = that lovely French model who’s married to Claude Makalele

    Waitrose: Do they even advertise on TV?

  8. piqued Says:

    Waitrose advertise ‘local’ produce, lots of moody shots of trudging figures and brooding clouds

  9. Swineshead Says:

    Erm – we’re not 11. My comment wasn’t immature. SO COCK OFF U BIG GAY.

    ‘Thug’, ‘yob’, these terms imply someone is violent. So you’re basically talking shit. He’s hyperactive and was a brilliant footballer. I will defend him to the end (unless we’re talking about his punditry, which can get irritating).

  10. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve never been in a Waitrose. I fear I may get slung out.

  11. piqued Says:

    Waitrose is the best of the lot, bloody expensive though, I think I’ve been to one twice.

    Obviously I was taking about Mr. Wright outside that of a footballer as I don’t recall him being a ‘hyperactive brilliant footballer’ on the Asda ad, but he was wearing a little hat

    Nor was I implying he was violent, but he is gayer than the sugar plum fairy ice skating in a big pink fluffy dress

  12. Who Says:

    I don’t know which is the more irritating, M&S porny adverts (and the woman doing the voiceover is her off Killybashangel so that’s a sort of celeb) or the Aldi piss take of it where they try and crack on that their £1.99 plonk and pudding out of a tin is as good as M&S.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with pudding out of a tin, mind.

  13. piqued Says:

    Urghh, poodding out orf a tein

    Urghh, gewd Lard, how rrrepugnant,

    Urgh,

    uh huh…

    hurrrrrr

    huh uh uh uh huh huh huh huh huh huh

    *rapes Heinz Sticky Toffee pudding*

    *nicks winkle on tin*

    Ooyaah

  14. Who Says:

    Well, if you will go round sexually pestering hot desserts

    What about a Munch Bunch yoghurt, no sharp edges on those

  15. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Hold up! Bernard’s done WHAT?

  16. Swineshead Says:

    Yes, it’s true. £2.29. It might be just a London thing. I pray that’s all it is.

  17. Badger Madge Says:

    The bloke in the Asda fish ad who doens’t give fish to his bird and then (when he’s told off by Wrighty) goes “But I’m hungry?”

    He’s my mate Owen. Fact.

    I therefore love the Asda ads. Yes they’re annoying and cheap and nasty. But it’s also hilarious watching Owen wail, “But I’m hungrrrrry” at least once a day plus I get to remind him of this fact at least twice a day too. Yay.

  18. Napoleon Says:

    This is a bloody outrage! I’d had my suspicions over this whole Burma protest thing … now I see they’re on the streets protesting the fact Bernard’s added 29p to the price of 3 Chicken Kievs. Support the people of Burma! Support the campaign to bring down the price to where it belongs … £2!

  19. ooopinionsss Says:

    How you think when the economic crisis will end? I wish to make statistics of independent opinions!

  20. small slow cookers Says:

    small slow cookers…

    […]ASDA adverts « Watch With Mothers[…]…

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