One Minute Review: ‘Emily, I’ by Scrabbel


If something is shit, it’s simply shit. Hey, no problem.

When something tries desperately to be witty, cool, ‘off the wall, ‘knowing’, and fails, then my blood pressure rises. After watching this video I was so enraged I was left spitting at my computer with my face all red and puffy.

Using bits of stop motion animation and live footage of this appalling group of wankers all being funny and wotnot by dressing as animals and ‘larking’ about- we are left with what is possibly the worst piece of crap ever seen in the history of mankind. To add insult to injury, some prick has spent a great deal of time on this bollocks. Take the animation for example, out of context it isn’t that offensive, in context it simply lends itself to underline the shit-flinging awfulness of the fucking video.

The band, a sort of partially dieted Magic Numbers, but far, far worse (and that’s saying something), they display vastly over-inflated egos which tower so far over their insignificant talents it makes me feel physically ill. The sickening cutesiness of their supposed image, the attempted nonchalance, the cunting costumes… I can’t do anymore on this. I need to fill my eyes with thick bleach in order to redress karma.

Oh – the song? Don’t get me started on that. Someone tell them the fucking 60s is over.

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30 Responses to “One Minute Review: ‘Emily, I’ by Scrabbel”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    They look like a nice bunch of guys and gals.
    And the doggone keyboardist is a fine filly.

    I can’t hear the music mind, as I’m at work. I bet it’s good.

  2. piqued Says:

    Surely it made you angry even watching it without sound..?

    The song itself is blander than lukewarm water

    (I noticed, to my horror, thsi come from their THIRD album… what tosser buys stuff like this? It makes Kate Melua seem inspired)

  3. piqued Says:

    I meant ‘this comes’, I’m so angry I can’t type

  4. roszs Says:

    I am at work and don’t have sound but I can already tell from the light-hearted whimsical quirkiness of the video that I am going to enjoy this song very much. Thanks for bringing it to my attention piqued!

  5. Bill Says:

    Wow… I am from the Bay Area and have watched this band with some interest for quite some time and have seen the accolades this group has received from all over the world. You must be a very angry and frustrated individual to take such offense from such a harmless video and song. And then attacking the individual band members because they are having fun??? You must really have a big chip on your shoulder. What have you contributed to society beside mean prose? I can’t wait to see the response to this but I bet you will refuse to, which is even better. Hats off to Scrabbel for another amazing single and fantastic video.

  6. Roszs Says:

    Have just listened to this song and it’s quite nice in a slightly forgettable way. You just don’t like it cos it ain’t got greasy long-haired men fondling their upper frets at top-speed with their groins pointed at each other. You are very mean piqued, like what Bill says. (He is my new boyfriend).

  7. Wounded Pride Says:

    I find it funny that you talk about their “over-inflated egos towering over their insignificant talents”… That’s exactly how I feel about your blog entry. You do have talent- reading this made me livid. I consider myself a pretty mellow guy, a pacifist even… so I gotta give you props in making me want to put you in a place with no air.

    Full disclosure: Scrabbel are good firends of mine, I can assure you if you met them in person you’d realize that none of them are pretentious, or has a mean bone in their body. Sorry to shit all over your blog, I just felt that a personal attack on my friends was crossing the line. Congratulations on getting under my skin.

  8. Yoda Says:

    ‘I work in a fucking office, something I resent more than having an infinitesimally small appendage. It didn’t start like this. Oh no – I went to art school and everything. I was supposed to be hosting Front Row by now but sadly, due to a remarkable aptitude for lazing around on my arsehole, I spend most of my free time lazing around on my arse (hole). I like motorcycles, metal and kippers. I’m not adverse to a drop of the good stuff neither. Or the bad stuff if push comes to shove.” – Piqued.

    Explain your problem any better, I could not.

  9. Wounded Pride Says:

    Shit man- you made me so mad that I mispelled “friends” Arggghhhh

  10. Swineshead Says:

    You’re not allowed an opinion these days… people do get especially prissy about bands don’t they?

  11. Wounded Pride Says:

    I’m not pissed about him having an opinion, or that he thought it was shit. That’s fine. More power to him. I’m pissed that he called my friends pricks, egotistical and talentless without knowing what the fuck he’s talking about. Totally undeserved. Admit it- if you found a blog spitting this much unprovoked venom about your loved ones, you’d be compelled to defend them too, no?

  12. Swineshead Says:

    Easy now, sunshine!
    If something’s in the public domain it becomes fair game. Besides, it’s only a blog, it’s not the fucking New York Times.

    Freedom of speech, old bean – I don’t agree with this article but I can live with it. Anyway, we’ve moved on now.


  13. piqued Says:

    I love it when posts begin with ‘Wow’ before some salad tosser decides to tell me where they’re from, like I give a flying fuck…

    I digress.

    I’m so pleased I pissed you bunch of cunts off. Really, if that’s all it takes, being a little bit sarky about a fucking pop group quite clearly stuffed full of hyperbole (look it up ‘Wounded Pride’ you gaping arsehole -a man whose idea of pacifism is to threaten me with death) then it’s no wonder American ‘culture’ revolves around the right to bear arms.

    Fuck you all.

  14. ourmaninparis Says:

    Wow. John Lennon’s in it.

    Do you think they got permission from Yoko? In fact, isn’t that her in the monkey suit?

    Maybe she did the animation?

  15. JonR Says:

    awesome. just awesome.

  16. Yoda Says:

    sad in your blog cave, you are mr piqued

    bother you it does, that they are on their 3rd record

    when the only 3 things you have done in life is

    eat breath and shit.

    dirty sanchez, you are in need of

  17. breekom Says:

    yeah, look, i’m sorry, but i have to say this. the song is WAY worse than the video.

    like, way, dudes. even for the bay area. it’s as bland and featureless as an empty cd case. they’re not even managing twee which, as everyone knows, is easy as shit to achieve. and, may i say as a Famous London Clubnight Promoter (ask anyone), i would never, ever, ever book them. never. not even if i….no. just never.

    *runs from chief wounded pride*

  18. Gilbert Wham Says:

    Excellent! Wounded fanboys! Angry, pointless screeds with bonus typos! It’s 2POPLPOAPKTOCRSP all over again! I was going to pointedly enquire if you have had your telly repossessed, as you have been reviewing YouTube clips, which made me unfathomably cross. But as you have upset all these people, you are forgiven, sir.

  19. Gilbert Wham Says:

    Fucking close tags. Fuckitty fuck McFuck. Can you fix it plz? Ta.

  20. Mr Chipz Says:

    Someone touched a raw nerve didn’t they. Fucking hell, it’s only a band. And they ARE bland, can’t escape from that one.

  21. Swineshead Says:

    Close tags?! If I understood that, I still wouldn’t do it. I’m not your slaveboy. Unless you pay me the going rate.

    *bares anus*

  22. piqued Says:

    Yoda, you’re the one that tried to undermine me by using an extract from my own self-deprecating comment, so well done for that… (thick cunt)

    Anyway, I don’t know how you think that by hiding behind the character of a tiny green dwarf thing from a kids 70’s sci-fi film is going to, well, substantiate your comment. Add on the threat of a smear of poo over my lower lip and what we’re left with is rather sad.

    I can see why you like this band you poor sod.

  23. Rosszszsss Says:

    On a second listen I don’t like this song any more, but I still think the video is quite nice.

    PS – Yoda – when you tell piqued that “the only 3 things you have done in life is eat breath and shit.”

    Isn’t ‘eating breath’ the same as breathing? So its only two things really.

  24. Yoda Says:

    a typo, i committed.

    eat, BREATHE and shit.

    happy, are we now?

    when 900 yrs old you reach,
    spell as good, you will not.

  25. Swineshead Says:

    Yoda, you’re not a very effective ambassador for Scrabbel. I’m starting to go off them now as a result of the shit you’re talking.

  26. Mr.Chipz Says:

    Er Yoda…it wasn’t that funny when Frank Oz talked like that.

  27. Rosszszsss Says:

    When I was five I was rubbish at spelling. When I was twelve I was quite good at spelling. Now I am thirty my spelling is bloody excellent. Therefore if I live to be 900 my spelling will be impeccable, surely.


  28. Chris Says:

    Yoda is rubbish and so is Jar Jar Binks or whatever he’s called- you know that black guy with the big ears and anteater’s tongue. Wounded Pride: I don’t want to sound like a puff or ‘owt, but I don’t think you’re being unreasonable and I would stick up for my mates too. That’s a prerequisite of having mates. Mind you, I haven’t got any mates who like to be a rubbish band.

  29. Swineshead Says:

    Good comment there Chris, and the line:

    I don’t want to sound like a puff or ‘owt

    is very, very progressive. You big bummer.

  30. piqued Says:

    Chris, I think you’ll find that Yoda, in addition to being a physically challenged bogie and indeed ‘rubbish’, is also somewhat disadvantaged by being dead since 1983

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