Beadle’s Not About


Napoleon’s post prompted this mini-tribute. 

In memory of bearded funster, Jeremy Beadle. May God have mercy on his mischievous soul.

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63 Responses to “Beadle’s Not About”

  1. piqued Says:

    Little eulogy here

  2. Swineshead Says:

    Poor Beadle. Quite young, wasn’t he?

  3. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    59, apparently. A much villified figure, for some reason, and I never really understood why. He always used to make me chuckle as a boy … altogether now …

    Watch out! Beadle’s about! Watch out! Beadle’s about etc.

  4. Swineshead Says:

    I think it was You’ve Been Framed that made people turn – by the fifth series when it came to the last bit :

    Beadle – ‘I’m afraid that’s it for today’
    Audience – AAAWWWW
    Beadle – ‘Do y’want some more??’

    …you could hear the nation groaning.

  5. piqued Says:

    Agreed (for once). He sort of became a whipping boy for bad TV. Nice chap too, and according to those that knew him, as bright as a button

  6. wally bazoom Says:

    He sort of created reality tv in this country, didn’t he? Very little has changed between the heyday of ‘…’s About’ and Big Brother, in terms of watching cockneys swearing on television.

  7. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    HA HA! I agree with you! And may I add that the internet’s filthiest XXX pornobular sexacular is back in business? Want to see the naughty TV MILFerrella cook take it right up the icing-pipe? Then head over to now. This month: A free picture of Nigella smearing cranberry sauce into her cavernous aperture for every new subscriber!


  8. Swineshead Says:

    A fitting tribute from NC there.


  9. Who Says:

    I may be NIB’s only reader, but even I can’t believe you’ve piddled all over such a heartfelt piece with your cheap advert.


    *clicks on link*

  10. Badger Madge Says:

    but the difference between ‘s about and bb is that all those participants shown of ‘s about were fine with what happened to them. those who weren’t ok with the pranks weren’t shown. with bb contestants sign their lives away and are horribly exploited.

    a lot of people (my mum included) saw ‘s about as a bullying programme, but i think jezza and his lot respected those featured on the show, which is a lot more than could be said for the producers of bb, wife swap et al.

  11. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Swineshead and Who – HA HA! I completely agree with you! Great comments! That’s why I like to mosh my manPod to lurid photos of an overweight housewife immersed up to the neck in baked beans. If, like me, you’ve been a lot more upset by the demise of Jeremy Beadle than you expected to be, why not sign the book of condolence over at my DIRTY XXX beanographic fumpsite, Nigella In Beans? It’s available here:

    And may I be the first to offer my heartfelt condolences to the family of Mr. Beadle by offering the readers of Watch With Mothers COMPLETELY FREE HARDCORE PORN!

  12. wally bazoom Says:

    “a lot of people (my mum included) saw ’s about as a bullying programme, but i think jezza and his lot respected those featured on the show, which is a lot more than could be said for the producers of bb, wife swap et al.”

    I’d agree that it’s a form of bullying. It’s like the person on the front row of a stand up gig who gets humiliatwed, yet is still required by social pressure to take it in good humour. And it’s not like the plasterer who get’s his van pushed into an estury is aware of the instrinsic comic value while he’s bawling himself hoarse. As an audience you are laughing at PAIN, and I think it’s the begging of a strand of entertainment which has led up to the ones what you mentioned.

    And can anyone who can make a convincing argument for the Go-Lightly family?

    All this except for the alien landing one, which is copper bottomed comedy gold.

  13. piqued Says:

    Wally, Badger. As you laugh at someone’s (organised) ‘pain’ you’re also sympathising with them, if you weren’t it wouldn’t be funny…

    Remember also that the people on Beadle’s show would have had to sign a release form to allow themselves to be shown in such a way. This makes the people shown ‘suffering’ as being wholly self-deprecating (and usually after being set up by their families precisely because they had a sense of humour in the first place) for this reason Beadle was able to say, without impunity, ‘the star of the show is you’.

    Schadenfreude is the purest form of comedy as it’s linked directly to the human condition. All the comedy greats employ this, from Hancock to Partridge. For heavens sake CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

  14. Matt Says:

    I think it was the trimmed beard that upset most people wasn’t it?

    I liked his quiz thingy in the weekend paper.

    or maybe it was the withered hand.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    Hmmm – scripted schadenfreude is hardly relevant, Piqued. They are characters we laugh at, not the public. So it’s more pathos, in a dramatic sense.

    Your point about release forms is key, mind you. Audience members being picked on have no control over their representation, nor do Big Brother contestants, so Wally’s point is MOOT.

    I love that word, ‘moot’.

  16. piqued Says:

    …but surely the moment a release form is signed they are no longer ‘the public’ that they were?

  17. Swineshead Says:

    Yes – I’m agreeing with you about the release forms. Not about the schadenfreude. Silly man.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    Oh – when I said ‘audience members’ I was referring to the people at the stand up gig getting humiliated what wally mentioned.

  19. Badger Madge Says:

    oi don’t you lump me in with wally, piqued! i said MY MUM thought it was bullying. i thought it was great! tsk…

  20. Badger Madge Says:

    i see BB contestants and Beadle’s About featured people totally different. BB contestants are manipulated, and hung out to dry (whether knowingly or not). Beadle’s About featured people had senses of humours – the fact that many of them signed release forms shows they didn’t mind people laughing WITH them. as i said above, those that didn’t sign, weren’t shown.

    gawd, it’s got terribly serious here!

  21. Badger Madge Says:

    Swines: but then, BB contestants go into the show knowing what’s the be expected. So you could say they deserve everything they get…

  22. piqued Says:

    Schadenfreude IS the purest form of comedy… Look, a member of the public has slipped on a fucking banana skin



  23. Swineshead Says:

    True – I doubt they read their contracts on the way in…

  24. piqued Says:

    Badger, please leave your mother out of this. Really, STAND ONYOR OWN 2 FEETS

  25. Swineshead Says:

    I said SCRIPTED schadenfreude like Hancock and Partridge are irrelevant to the debate… and they remain so.

  26. Badger Madge Says:

    i’m almost positive they do read their contracts… along with the pr they’ve hired before hand. bb contestants are a lot more savvy these days. they just want to be famous no matter what.

  27. Rosszszsss Says:

    Golightly is Robson Greene’s middle name.

    Robson Golightly Greene.

  28. wally bazoom Says:

    “Schadenfreude is the purest form of comedy as it’s linked directly to the human condition. All the comedy greats employ this, from Hancock to Partridge. For heavens sake CHILL THE FUCK OUT.”

    Yeah, but it comes in many levels, as the Swines head says, there’s a different laughter at the scripted wonder of Hancock or Partridge, or the hypnotic physicality of Frank Spencer’s exquisite pratfalls, to some builder in a hat roaring in naked agony as his livelihood gurgles to the bottom of the Thames. Perhaps it has something to do with the inherent impotence of anger. Or maybe Beadle was staging a modernist revival of the Artaud/Genet notion of ‘theatre of cruelty’ aimed specifically in our passive, capitalist FACES. Or maybe it was a load of fat people smashing up a cake shop while the Saturday girl weeps. Whatever gets you off I suppose.

  29. piqued Says:

    My point is, scripted or not, as soon as that release form is signed the person being filmed is no longer a hapless member of the public but part of an organised skit.

    Besides, the member of public is acting as a result of a constructed pre-designed set of circumstances, to wit, you can argue that it has been written as the outcome is largely a known quantity through design, not accident.

    Wally, save your condemnation for Edmonds’ (late) Late Late Late Breakfast show in which his producers killed someone.

  30. Swineshead Says:

    Yes, but the reaction you laugh at happened before the form was signed – at that point he or she wasn’t part of the ‘skit’ to their knowledge, and thus your point collapses.

  31. wally bazoom Says:

    “Wally, save your condemnation for Edmonds’ (late) Late Late Late Breakfast show in which his producers killed someone.”

    Why? It’s not relevant, is it?

    I agree with Swinsehead to the degree where I was going to write the EXACT SAME THING. But you don’t want to get lumped in with me, lad.

  32. Badger Madge Says:

    my brain hurts.

  33. Swineshead Says:

    Mine too – why couldn’t we talk about nice things on a Friday afternoon instead of you lot making me feel all these grown up feelings?

  34. wally bazoom Says:

    This is just an example of the kind of trouble Beadle has and will continue to cause. When he said he was ‘about’, he meant it on a very spiritual level.

  35. piqued Says:

    The producers had designed and plotted a scenario to get a quantified reaction. What you saw on Beadle was a participant, not a ‘victim’. Think of it as improvised comedy if you like…

    Yes, when it was actually filmed only those present witnessed a person in distress, when you see it on TV you’re seeing this distress by proxy. It’s really not the same thing, one is a situation, the other is a permitted epithet of it via it’s being broadcast.

    Wally it is relevant. Edmonds (producers) got them to sign the release form before, i.e., ‘you are going to be laughed at shitting yourself/in distress etc., sigh here’

  36. piqued Says:

    (I meant ‘its being broadcast’ not ‘it’s’. Sorry)

  37. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued, though I don’t agree with wally’s point that Beadle was bullying anyone, his argument at least carries some logic. Yours doesn’t. It’s not ‘improvised’ – it’s ‘actual’ footage of someone in distress!

    For heaven’s sake… lord have mercy etc…

  38. piqued Says:

    ‘actual’ footage of someone being filmed in distress by design

    Then what you see is the person in distress sending himself up buy allowing you, the viewer, to see it

    Surely it’s not that hrd to grasp it is?

  39. jasonspaced Says:

    Come on guys, what aboot that withered hand? When I was at school, we’d hold our hands out as if to shake hands with someone, then on the moment of contact scrunch our hand up and make it all tiny and deformed and cry, “Hah! You’ve been Beadled!”

    Ahem – he did lots of great work for charity too. RIP.

  40. piqued Says:

    (buy = by hrd = hard)

    I’m being harangued at work by some cunt

  41. wally bazoom Says:

    “Wally it is relevant. Edmonds (producers) got them to sign the release form before, i.e., ‘you are going to be laughed at shitting yourself/in distress etc., sigh here’”

    Which sort of shites all over your argument like an elderly frightened dog.

  42. Swineshead Says:

    You are contradicting yourself, Piqued.
    Are you drinking already?

    I wish I was.

  43. piqued Says:

    How so?

  44. Swineshead Says:

    And around we go again…


  45. Swineshead Says:

    By the way – your flies are undone.

  46. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    What you all seem to be pussy-footing around is the subject of Beadle’s evil, withered hand. Beadle drew his prankster power directly from that shrivelled claw of Baal, and his passing is a merciful release from the fear of coming home to find someone’s driven your van into a river. I hope the slack-spined jester gets his just desserts – in the furnaces of Hades, WHERE HE BELONGS.

  47. Swineshead Says:

    Well… quite.

    (Thanks for stopping Piqued going round in incontinent circles btw)

  48. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Glad to be of service. The man’s a bloody buffoon.

  49. piqued Says:

    It’s a question of Plato and Aristotle

    The former is reflection of reality, the latter, reality found by experience

  50. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Plus, considering your age and his age, he’s for all intents and purposes a paedophile grooming his next victim. Be careful, Swineshead.

  51. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve heard of some philosophers too! Please, Miss, can I show off how clever I am? Please, Miss? Please?

  52. piqued Says:

    I’ll take you all on you shower of fucking shits…

  53. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    “I’ll take you all on you shower of fucking shits…”

    Says the man who won’t do his fightin’ duty when someone spills his pint. If they’d had you on D-DAY, we’d all be speaking German now, you spineless traitor.

  54. piqued Says:

    NC. It made the point very well as I’m sure you understand, being a hearer of philosophers names and such

    (ps. I also saw that Q1 when John Sessions was on… plagiarist, that’s what you are)

  55. piqued Says:

    You mean when a 20 stone 6.5-foot tall skinhead drinks my pint…

    Using Aristotelian logic, I fucked out of it quick smart

  56. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Congratulations on assuming everyone is as stupid as you. Believe it or not, I can come up with sarcastic comments without the aid of a miserable Scotch comic. Are you also one of those morons who supposes everyone’s knowledge is garnered through search engines and Wikipedia?

  57. Badger Madge Says:

    when the participants were filmed they had no knowledge of the prank. thus they’re not willing. thus it’s different than if someone approached them BEFORE the prank and said “we’re going to do a prank on you, sign this.”

    do you see? DO YOU SEE?

    them signing it afterwards is them going “shucks, you got me, let’s all laugh together.” them signing beforehand is them going “i want to be a cog in a media machine.”


  58. piqued Says:

    Yeah, RIGHT

    ahahahahahaha BUSTED

    Have a good weekend

    *waves cock*

  59. Swineshead Says:

    Bit late there BM, I’ve successfully swung it round so that P and NC are arguing amongst themselves.

  60. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Bastard! Mind you, what should I expect from a man who openly defends Grand Designs? There’s a building site near me, Piqued. Fancy coming up to watch? Moron.

  61. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Wow. You lot really had a fun Friday. I was in Leeds watching a drunk 40 year old woman dressed as a nurse fall over in the gutter, spill her bottle of scotch, get up and try to drink from the empty bottle. It was like a Mike Leigh take on You’ve Been Framed.

  62. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I had a great Friday, actually. There’s nothing like a healthy dose of Jam And Jerusalem to persuade the missus that the bedroom’s a more attractive place to be than in front of the television watching Jam And fucking Jerusalem.

  63. Dudley Weibe Says:

    Nice content admin.

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