One Minute Review: Come Dine With Me (again)


Come Dine With Me

I’ve covered Come Dine With Me before, as regular readers will know. And if you’re not a regular reader, can I ask why the blazes you’re not one? A regular reader, I mean. Become one this instant.

Yes, I’ve covered Come Dine With Me before, you’ve probably seen it umpteen times, so we’re all aware of how it works. The exciting news is that they’ve transferred the daytime version to a 9pm primetime slot on Channel 4. Clearly success has gone to their heads. And now it’s post watershed, there’s swearing. They’ve also condensed the format into one 50 minute episode featuring four dinner parties rather than five over the course of a hundred minutes. It’s not an easy transition and feels a little rushed, but at least we’ve lost all those irritating little ‘catch up’ segues and montages of stuff we’ve already seen before (or, even worse, stuff we’re about to see).

A development of the show in its new incarnation is the fact that the contestants they’ve picked are as thick as cat-muck. Where before we had genuine members of the public, all with their charms and flaws, genuinely trying to express the inner-foodie within their soul, now we’re served up four blithering idiots. In every instance, they blither and are idiotic. And they swear a lot. And they insult one another. And they get as drunk as they possibly can.

So far, in two episodes we’ve had:

Show 1

  • A fat, alcoholic wannabe Tory councillor with a David Cameron fixation who had no idea about even the most simple cooking process.
  • A gay, alcoholic student with a barbie doll collection who got drunk and flung booze about.
  • An abrasive geordie fishwife with wild, staring eyes and a burnt paella who was an alcoholic.
  • A mousey woman who favoured giggling over speaking. She was an alcoholic.

Show 2

  • A fat, cheery alcoholic who ducked out of the room midway through a starter to hawk up several gallons of puke before returning for the main.
  • A long-haired neurotic with worrying latent violence issues and the propensity for alcoholism.
  • An insane, oversexed old crone with a crap line in Alan Sugar related japes who came on to every male she encountered before passing out due to alcoholism.
  • A horrible, pretentious red-haired moose who couldn’t stop talking about herself when pissed. Probably because she was an alcoholic.

It’s fucking great. Essential viewing for pissed people – especially alcoholics.

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126 Responses to “One Minute Review: Come Dine With Me (again)”

  1. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’m rediscovering the joys of narratove-based songs. Remember this little beauty:

    This programme sounds rubbish, by the way.

  2. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    This is what I meant. My computer’s fucking me about.

  3. Clarry Says:

    The moment of stunned silence immediately after the old crone’s ‘brilliant’ Alan Sugar prank, is amongst my top ten awkward televisual moments of 2008. Truly awful.

    It put me off my tea when that bloke chucked up his starter. Since going to primetime, the diners seems to have cottoned on to the fact that if they denounce one anothers dinner enough then they are bound to win – but sicking it up takes the biscuit.

  4. Swineshead Says:

    NC – That song is ridiculously homoerotic, like your last few blog entries. Is there something you’re not telling us?

    Clarry – T’m glad you saw it, the Alan Sugar ‘joke’ was fucking sublime.

  5. piqued Says:

    I love it

    der der der der deeeer I’M LARVING EET

  6. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued – you love NCs song about loving men in uniform or CDWM?

  7. Clarry Says:

    Who did she get to ‘knock at the door’? Did she actually go to the trouble of getting someone to come round whilst they ate to deliver the bear (what did she say? Something like “Look it says business man on it…”) or did she bang on the table?

  8. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Swineshead – You find my last few posts erotic? Naughty boy. I’ll pass on your regards (and the details of your secret life) to Harry and The Spitfire. As for the song, I like it because it takes me back to the good old days killin’ gooks along the Ho Chi Minh Trail.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    No. I said they’re homoerotic, in that they would appeal to homosexuals.

    ‘Gooks’ – that’s a nice word.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    I have no idea Clarry – she was clearly completely unstable and belonged in a home with a fucking armed guard.

  11. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    That’s what we called ’em in ‘Nam. You can’t rewrite the past, Swineshead.

    I think you find my blog’s gentle slide into elderly, forces-based homosexuality erotic. There’s nothing wrong with this, Swineshead. It’s OK. You can tell us.

  12. Clarry Says:

    Has my computer gone scope? I put a closed brackets in that sentence not a winking smiley.

  13. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    WordPress is playing funny buggers today, I reckon. I keep getting script errors, but only when opening or closing WordPress sites.


  14. piqued Says:

    Come Dine With Me of course

    MC’s music is awful, he likes Thor

  15. piqued Says:

    That’ll be ‘N’C of course

  16. Paul Groves Says:

    I always seem to be flicking around the channels and stumble across this programme, then get completely sucked in by it.
    I saw the first one, but missed the second.
    The Tory councillor in the first oozed around like a great big oily oozing thing, uuurrrrggghhhhh…and I didn’t think much of his banana and orange surprise either.

    They should combine this show with The Apprentice and X-Factor and get failures from both to host dinner parties. It would be enough to put Prescott off his grub.

    Incidentally, Nicholas “Common as Muck” De-Lacy Brown was on BBC Breakfast this morning talking about snobbery and grabbing his 15 seconds of fame. He added De Lacy to plain old Nick Brown to sound more sophisticated and to impress folk, but the only benefit he told us about this morning was getting a better table in a restaurant.
    I’d have him over for dinner any time – I hates washing up.

  17. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Piqued, criticising awful music? A bit rich coming from a man wot likes King Crimson and Hawkwind. Not a week goes by without you posting some great stinking pile of shit from the 70s on your ponderous blog.

    I saw De Lacy on the BBC this morning too. That man’s an arsehole.

  18. Clarry Says:

    And what, pray tell, is wrong with King Crimson and Hawkwind?

  19. piqued Says:

    I love Hawkwind and like King Crimson

    I know you like Hawkwind too so don’t come the cunt of the first water with me youngling

    I notice you WATCH TV in the morning over listening to Radio 4, this speaks volumes to me, volumes



  20. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    On the one hand, pretentious prog-rock drivel, and on the other, experimental, space-based bullshit, Clarry.

  21. piqued Says:

    Notice he didn’t deny liking Thor as well…


    And calling that shit you just posted ‘a little beauty’ makes you worse than Peter Sutcliffe, on ACID.

  22. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I can’t stomach Hawkwind. I don’t know where you got that impression.

    What volumes? That I don’t want to listen to John Humphries bullying someone when I can watch Bill Turnbull and his delectable gaggle of (almost constantly pregnant) female co-presenters instead? Those volumes? What are these volumes?

  23. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve seen Thor live. Live AND drunk. I didn’t say I enjoyed the experience, though you have to admire the effort that’s gone into the costume.

  24. Swineshead Says:

    NC – Saying something is homoerotic doesn’t mean you find it erotic. You complete thicko.

  25. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I know that, Swineshead. But thanks for defining it for me anyway, thanks, thanks a lot.

    I just think you, that’s YOU, find the homoerotic content of my blog erotic. It appeals to that dark corridor of your mind that you’d rather not tell your wife about. Look, that’s OK, son. Nobody’s judging you … apart from the religious, and the BNP.

  26. Clarry Says:

    Ha ha! I just answered the phone to some woman who sounded EXACTLY like Rowena from pro-thick agency on Blue Jam.

  27. piqued Says:

    They’re volumes of multicoloured sofa based TV fuck. Watching TV in the mornings is worse than starting your day with a bottle of White Lightening before wanking in a playground





    …and you like Thor

    And breakfast TV

  28. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Was she trying to sell you holiday vouchers, Clarry? I get a call from my Bangalore contacts about this matter four times a day.

  29. Swineshead Says:

    There’s nothing wrong with Breakfast TV…

  30. piqued Says:

    There is, that and Thor

  31. Swineshead Says:

    Listening to Today is a badge of honour for some people.

    They go around warbling on about how great Radio 4 is and how they can’t bear television these days as if they’ve made some great revolutionary step when in fact they’re just being pretentious twats.

    And you, Piqued, I include you in this farrago.

    It’s like listening to arseholes going on about how brilliant Marks & Spencers is. It’s not brilliant, it’s just a shop.

  32. george Says:

    the one on breakfast news looks like a haunted dummy.

  33. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    No, Swineshead, there isn’t. Piqued only tells people he listens to Radio 4 in the morning because he desperately needs to show everyone how high-brow he is. I think it’s a form of mental illness.

    And I never said I liked Thor, Piqued. I said I didn’t like Hawkwind. Because they’re shit.

  34. Swineshead Says:

    It’s amazing how allegiances change in the comments section here. It’s inevitable we’ll turn against Piqued though as he always invites trouble on himself by championing Grand Designs, talking about John Harrumphrey’s like he’s a God and being rude about the dinner I had last night.

  35. piqued Says:

    You’ve seen him Live, yet you don’t like it

    That adds up doesn’t it

    Sort of chop logic I’d expect from a person preferring TELYVUSHON to Today

  36. piqued Says:

    Turn on me as much as you want. I can fucking take it

    I’m my own man

    I write my own rules

    I play my game the only way I know how

    I walk alone, yeah.

  37. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I had a curry last night and watched The One Show, EastEnders, Holby Blue, Family Guy, and American Dad. It only went downhill when Question Time had a debate about the London mayoral election. I know it’s the capital city and all, but I’m not sure how much I give a shit about whether Boris is scrapping Ken’s Trafalgar Square parades or not. It was as dull as the ones wot come from Scotland. Mind you, you can’t be a winner every time.

  38. piqued Says:

    Dull cunt

  39. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    “You’ve seen him Live, yet you don’t like it

    That adds up doesn’t it”

    Yes, when you consider who it is I work for. I’ve seen lots of bands I don’t like, Piqued, because that’s my job. Off the top of my head, I’ve seen Thunder, Tesla, Twisted Sister, Raven, Thor, Yes, Rush, UFO, Queensryche and Deep Purple, and didn’t like any of ’em.

  40. Swineshead Says:

    ‘Dull cunt’?

    NC’s evening sounds like a fine way to spend a quiet night in to me… I suppose you had a bevy of beautiful ladies around for a Grand Designs party?

  41. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    He read a book on a train, and went to the pub. The whole scintillating tale is on his blog.

  42. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    American Dad’s fast become a favourite of mine. I prefer it to Family Guy, I think. If it had Brian the Dog in it, it’d be perfect. I like Brian the Dog.

  43. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    It’s all gawn a bit quiet.

  44. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    *watches tumbleweed waft by*

  45. Swineshead Says:

    It was your cartoon monologue what killed it.

  46. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Was it? Oh, sorry about that. I forgot that talking about TV on a TV review site can be the kiss of death to the comments section.

    On a different subject, that ‘Wonder What Time It is In London’ song (don’t think that’s the title) makes me want to rip my own head off.

  47. Swineshead Says:

    Is it a modern song? I don’t know much about the modern pops.

  48. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    It’s by some band called ‘The Feeling’. I assume they’re modern. They’ve just played it on the radio (not Radio 4).

  49. JonR Says:

    i thought the Alan Sugar prank was genius.

    1. woman convinces guests that Alan Sugar will be arriving ANY MINUTE.
    2. woman places electronic teddy bear on table, pronounces it to be “Alan Sugar”
    3. woman stares down other guests

    just awesome.

  50. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Why’s that funny? Did you have to be there?

  51. Swineshead Says:

    JonR – thanks for making me relive that unhinged moment of awfulness.

    NC – I think you did have to be there… it was inexplicably horrific / magnetic.

    The Feeling are fucking shit, by the way. They make the most pointless music I think I’ve ever heard.

  52. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ll take your word for it on both having to be there and the fucking shitness of The Feeling. I only know this one song about London, and it’s bloody awful. There should be a rule of thumb if you’re going to attempt a song that involves London – does it come anywhere close to being in the same league as ‘London Calling’? If the answer’s ‘no’, then don’t fucking bother.

  53. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    That’s “I only know this one song OF THEIRS about London, and it’s bloody awful” before Piqued gets pedantic.

  54. Swineshead Says:

    Waterloo Sunset
    Baker Street (especially the sax)
    Other songs about London.

  55. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Yes. I don’t think we need a list of good London-based tunes that show this Feeling song up for the fraudulent bag of wind that it is. I would add ‘Down In The Tube Station At Midnight’ as a good example, however.

    I’d like to hear more songs about farting.

  56. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve got a gem you wrote and recorded when you were about 15 on tape at home.

  57. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Piqued’s site keeps fucking up my computer. Every time I try to get into it, everything freezes up and I have to restart Internet Explorer. It’s almost as if my computer’s had enough of hosting an upper-class twit’s adventures in drinking. Piqued, if you’ve replied to my comment, then thanks. If not, stick it up your arse.

  58. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    he’s no upper-class twit, merely a wannabe, a WANNABE, HEAR?!

  59. Swineshead Says:

    PCs are good for that, aren’t they?

    Works fine on the work Mac.

  60. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    What’s this gem? I recently composed another called ‘Greg Dyke In Love’ I’m rather proud of.

  61. piqued Says:

    I see it’s all ‘London this London that’ now NC you’ve decided to pull your arse out of some bango and pig backwater and live among people that have chins

    You didn’t have to go and see Thor, you do pictures for a magazine, you’re not a rock journo reviewing live (shit) acts

    *puts on Woman’s Hour*

  62. Swineshead Says:

    Are we going to reform the fat fucking badgers or what then?
    All you need’s a fucking mic.

    My impatience makes me swear.

  63. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    oh, and yes The Feeling are about a year old and a pile of shit.

  64. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Everything else works fine on my mighty PC warhorse (half the price, five times the POWER). It’s only Piqued’s site that’s misbehaving. Mind you, I doubt I’m missing anything.

  65. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    There’s just too much stuff on it. Videos ‘n’ that.

  66. piqued Says:

    I did reply to your comment NC, you’re missing something

    Something major

    (a cock)

  67. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    “You didn’t have to go and see Thor, you do pictures for a magazine, you’re not a rock journo reviewing live (shit) acts”

    I’ve written both reviews and articles covering the crazy world of rock, Piqued. Yes, I’m an illustrator first ‘n’ foremost, but I’m also a reluctant rock journo from time to time. You wouldn’t understand. There there. Ssssh, it’ll be alright, love.

    It’s the shelling out for the microphone bit I’m wary of, Swineshead.

  68. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    That’s why I asked you, Piqued. If you’d read what I said, I was talking about not being able to access your dreadful blog.

  69. Swineshead Says:

    I got mine for 25 quid, which is peanuts in London money.

  70. piqued Says:

    So, let me see your review of the Thor gig you HAD to go too…

  71. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Some of The Yes Album was tolerable, just as long as you don’t take it too seriously…

  72. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Find it your fucking self. I don’t need to prove a bloody thing to you as far as my work’s concerned, sunshine.

    £25? A bit steep, ain’t it? I can buy a whippet, eight flat caps, a bag of coal, and a ferret for that sort o’ monwy.

  73. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Monwy? I think that’s Welsh.

  74. piqued Says:

    You didn’t write it potty mouth, you only went along to look at Thor and his muscles

    You love him

    I think ‘Anger’ is your middle name, you changed it by deed poll because you love him so

    Yes, you

  75. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Yes, I adore crappy 1970s Scandinavian heavy metal music. Well done, you’ve caught me out.

    My middle name’s Paul, not Anger. I’m named after Benny Hill, and Paul McKenna.

  76. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Benjamin Paul Perry eh?

  77. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    *taps into national records*

  78. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    That’s a lot of times to rape the same person.

  79. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Just ‘Ben’ actually. It was a compromise to my grandmother who went through a bizarre Jewish phase in the 70s. She demanded I was either called Jacob or Ruben, if you fucking please. My dad shut her up by calling me Ben. I’ve never forgiven either of ’em, and now they’re both dead.

  80. piqued Says:

    I want to see your review, I think you actually really do like Scandinavian heavy metal music, your colleagues do, or is it just you?

    “THOR was voted one of the Greatest 100 Frontmen of All Time in the July, 2004 edition of the UK’s Classic Rock Magazine – a list compiled by polling professional Rock journalists”

  81. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Some correlation, possibly. Still, Wagonwheel is a heavy cross to bear.

  82. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    No, again I don’t need to prove myself to an anonymous coward. If you’re so interested in the various aspects of my work, Piqued, why not spill the beans about your own? Or your real name, perhaps? Or are you too scared your boss’ll find out you’ve spent two years slagging your colleagues off whilst hiding your identity. Get fucked, mate.

    And so what if Thor was voted one of the best frontmen by CR? Does that mean I’m duty-bound to agree with them? I don’t think I was even working for the buggers in 2004.

  83. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    On a similar note, they voted Led Zep the best live act recently. I don’t agree with that either. I’ve never seen what all the fuss is a bout.

  84. piqued Says:

    Calm down, honestly, you’ll get ill

    So you’re called Napoleon Cockaparte are you?

    Anyway, back to Thor. If you’d like to show me the revierw I promise to leave it yeah


  85. piqued Says:

    I meant ‘review’ clearly

  86. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    1. I’m perfectly calm, thanks. As a Hindu, I’m calm at all times, because if I’m not I’ll come back in the next life as a pubic louse.
    2. No, I’m called B.P.Perry, or Ben, if you prefer. I only ended up with the stupid Napoleon pseudonym because I’m a computer illiterate who couldn’t figure out how to switch identities on WordPress.
    3. I wouldn’t even know where to begin looking for my review of Thor, frankly. And even if I did, I wouldn’t give it to you until I’m furnished with your job description so I, too, can criticise you in a similar vain.
    4. I’m not your friend. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. I’d be the one setting you on fire in the first place.
    5. Answer my riddle.
    6. You might win an aeroplane.

  87. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    7. Mr Tits won a car, don’t forget.

  88. piqued Says:

    It’s down to you if you wish to use your real name, but most of us (all of us?) prefer to remain anonymous. Mine is largely down to employment factors, as a freelancer you’re not subject to such things.

    So you did do the review of Thor, okay. Fair enough

    Can I see it quickly?

  89. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    And would those ’employment issues’ be that they’d sack you if they found out you’d been slagging them off behind their backs? Aaah, the nobility of the man! You’re a bloody coward is what you are, hiding behind a mask so you can backbite and sneer at other people without them knowing.

    And I’m not giving you that fucking review.

  90. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Sorry, ’employment factors’.

  91. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    At least I’m terribly unsubtle about my identity.

  92. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I know noone asked me, I was just bored of playing along to Perez Prado on the geetar.

  93. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I doubt your last name’s Wagonwheel, Wagonwheel. I’ve seen a photo of you (not naked, Piqued, before you start), and you look like a Percy De Lacy Brown to me. Wagonwheel, indeed.

  94. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I had stupid long hair, mistakes were made.

  95. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve got long hair. Mind you, with my enormous broken nose and hideous teeth, I just look like a tramp. Your long hair makes you look like Lord Farquin Hoppington-Polesworthy III.

  96. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s ’cause I’m old-money, yah.

  97. piqued Says:

    Nothing to do with being a coward old bean, common sense in my line of business

    (I’ll tell you about it one morning over breakfast, the morning after the night before. Mmmm)

    There is a review right?

    Just a peek…

  98. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I don’t suppose you own a mansion, do you? I had a friend whose father had one of those, and we had a great time of it shooting various animals and cavorting with Hooray Henriettas. I’ve lost touch, so am in need of a new mansion-based friend with access to guns and posh women of a sexually experimental nature.

  99. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Common sense because you’d be out on your arse if they found out? Perhaps you shouldn’t have done it in the first place, coward.

    Another homosexual reference, eh? What’s that? Your 8,000th? Keep ’em up, they’re hilarious.

    Yes, there’s a review.

    No, you’re not having a peek.

  100. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    No mansion, all the money is now gone, all that’s left is the hereditary title, the hairstyle and the arrogance.

  101. piqued Says:

    Why don’t you ask SH or JQW or anyone lese beside you who remains anon? Nothing to do with being a coward, a lot to do with common sense.

    So you did do a review on Thor?

    You’re not showing it to me because either

    a. your telling a fib

    b. your review admits you love Thor

    (may I see you winkle instead?)

  102. piqued Says:

    I meant ‘your’ winkle obviously

    Sorry everyone

    Sorry NC, friends?

  103. piqued Says:

    ‘else besides’ obviously (having a busy pm)

    Sorry everyone

    Sorry NC, friends?

  104. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Job for you, NC:

  105. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    That arrogance’ll take you far in life, my lad. Look at De Lacy Brown. He’s never lost a thing in his life (except for The Apprentice, his dignity, and the respect of his peers) thanks to his toffee-nosed arrogance. Lee McQueen has to rely on rage and brute force to get ahead. The De Lacy Browns, the Wagonwheels and the Piqueds of this world get fast-tracked to the top by thinking they’re superior to everyone else.

    And then hopefully get shot in the back of the neck, come the revolution.

  106. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    “Why don’t you ask SH or JQW or anyone lese beside you who remains anon? Nothing to do with being a coward, a lot to do with common sense.”

    SH doesn’t have a blog where he slags off his neighbours and his work colleagues. I’d say he deserves his anonymity because he doesn’t abuse the privilege. Ditto Wagonwheel.

    If Swineshead were to reveal his name, he wouldn’t be immediately fired from his position, I fancy. You, on the other hand, would be.

  107. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Why the hell would MI6 need a graphic designer?

  108. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    They just need someone to photoshop guns onto dead civilians. ooooh political.

  109. Swineshead Says:

    I do abuse the priviledge – but for the sake of the argument, I’ll let you have that.

  110. piqued Says:

    I rarely slag off my colleagues and the ones I did slag off I fired

    As for my neighbour, he’s away at the mo, not mentioned him in a month

    How do you know a single thing I write is the truth, being anon there is no proof of anything at all…

    We do know that you love Thor though, that’s a fact.

  111. Swineshead Says:

    It’s for someone who can work in ‘a Mac-based environment’


  112. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Do you? I’ve not seen much evidence of this. Unless you’ve got a blog you haven’t abandoned five minutes after starting it? The internet’s a Swineshead blog graveyard.

  113. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    “How do you know a single thing I write is the truth, being anon there is no proof of anything at all…”

    I hope it’s the truth. Otherwise you’d be the most banal fiction writer in the history of mankind.

    And as for a Mac-based environment, I can use one, Swineshead. I just don’t see the need to.


  114. Swineshead Says:

    Well, writing blogs while at work is itself an abuse of contract. But no, I don’t diss nobody but the pretend people on the telly.

  115. Swineshead Says:

    I bet you can’t. I bet you get all frustrated and start crying when you see an apple logo.


  116. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    There you go, then. And you’re telling me they don’t know? You’re on the internet all day. Hats off to you for keeping it quiet, considering.

  117. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I can, because a Mac is … I know some people won’t like this … a PC. I can use PCs, whatever brand they are. As for seeing an Apple logo? I usually just laugh, then buy a better product for half the money.


  118. piqued Says:

    Yes, it sounds ace your PC, you can’t get onto my website to see how rude I’ve been after you posted last time because your cheap PC KEAPS CRASHINGZ

  119. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    No, my machine doesn’t keep crashing. There’s a scripting error on your site that my heavily armoured PC kept picking up on. I’ve now solved the problem. So fuck you.

  120. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Have a good weekend, folks. All except:


    That is all.

  121. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You’re a shit.

  122. Gilbert Wham Says:

    Apropos the fucking review, did anyone see the one slightly prior to this, with the thunderous boor who was a ‘lady of leisure’ and thought she was Nigella? Fuck me, she was awful. She locked someone out of her house for arriving 10 minutes early. She was the most annoying and, quite possibly, the most compelling thing I’ve seen on telly for ages.

  123. Swineshead Says:

    Yes Gilbert, and I blogged about it too.

    That was the clean daytime version…

  124. Gilbert Wham Says:

    So you did. OK, as you were then.

  125. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I feel sorry for anyone with a fixation on any politician. How drab must your life be?

  126. Insuramce » Blog Archive » Come Dine With Me Says:

    […] a later slot and now features drunkenness, vomiting, swearing and ourtageous middle-aged more | digg […]

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