Grey’s Anatomy

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Grey's Anatomy

My flatmate loves Greys Anatomy. It’s a deep, animal love that means she can’t stop watching it, even though it makes her cry a lot. Any episode that doesn’t make her cry at least once is considered a failure. Men don’t watch many programs that make them cry. I think the closest we get is that scene in Flash Gordon where Brian Blessed finally realises that Flash is fighting for good, and they become chums. Or any film where two chaps have to shoot each other to stop them from falling into to enemy hands. That’s proper drama.

Anyway if you haven’t watched Grey’s Anatomy (and if you have testicles then that’s fairly likely), it’s about some doctors. They started off as apprentices or disciples or whatever baby Doctors are called before they qualify and develop halitosis. Now they are grown up and Greys Anatomy is about their lives. Their self-absorbed, feckless lives.

These Doctors should be having a great time snorting medical-grade cocaine off each other’s naughty bits while chuckling that they are going to be sickeningly rich for the rest of their lives, but they don’t. The program is about them all being rubbish at relationships and constantly hopping in and out of each other’s beds faster than you can say ‘unpleasant rash, probably sexually transmitted’.

Every time the characters are faced with a choice that might make them just a little bit happy they do the opposite. If two people get on for a bit, one of them is bound to die, slowly. Any chance for contentment is purely temporary as the cause of it will be crushed under the iron fist of misery. While this is initially charming – other people suffering is always good for a giggle – ultimately it’s deeply annoying. I say this because I’ve accidentally watched quite a few episodes (okay four seasons of it) because my flatmate seems to feed of it like an electronic teat of suffering and despair.

All of the characters in it need a good kick in the face and to be told that their life really isn’t that bloody hard. Instead they just waltz about flicking their impossibly coiffeured hair and spout trite truisms at each other in the lift. The lift is very important in the show; it’s apparently where Doctors go to spawn.

I hate the characters. Hate. They seem to take joy in being victims. It is program for people who like being sad. 

Here is a summary of the characters. Warning contain spoilers.
Grey
Sort of Germanic looking one who fancies ‘McDreamy’ but has so many issues she will never be happy. She has very annoying hair. I think she has shagged everyone else in the show but I’m not sure.

The Blonde One
Had an affair with the one with the wonky eye and the one who looks like a boy. She loved a man for a bit and he proposed and then he DIED. Ha – that’ll learn her.

Wonky Eye Man
He shagged the blonde one and then told his mates or something. I don’t really care. Apparently he has a dark past. One of his eyes is a bit wonky

The Child
Boy-man who looks about three years old. Accidentally married another doctor-lady with nice hair but then he shagged the blonde one. He didn’t get on with his dad, then they got on, so his dad died.

The Robot
She went out with a surgeon for a bit and they were happy so he got shot and it fucked up his arm. Then he went away, so she got sad. She doesn’t appear to be in the breeding program anymore

McDreamy
Faux Irish spaz who everyone fancies because he has oily hair. Sexual history can best be described as ‘miscellaneous’.

McTasty (possibly the wrong name)
Ex best friend of McDreamy who has a beard. He does plastic surgery on people and slept with McDreamy’s wife and anyone else who he can.

There are some other ones too. They shag each other and have a sad time.

Oh – and there was a bit with a dog. Guess what? It died.

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30 Responses to “Grey’s Anatomy”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve not seen this. More American rubbish. I bet Neighbours is better.

  2. piqued Says:

    I’ve not seen it, I notice the author (who hates it) knows an awful lot about it… Too much I’d say, way too much yeah

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Well – he does say that he’s seen 4 seasons of it in the text. Do you actually read anything you comment on, you IDIOT?

  4. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    *finishes off wanking*
    *spoif!*

    I don’t want to watch this rubbish. This is the sort of thing that American man wot writes on here likes. I’ve seen the adverts, and the main bird looks like she takes it up the arse.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    It’s the American Holby City, surely?

  6. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Is it? Oh, well in that case I’m in. BRING IT ON.

    Is the Gus being bullied by Sean storyline in The Enders pissing you off as much as it is me? I’ve sent a stiff letter of complaint to the BBC.

  7. Swineshead Says:

    It is, actually. It’s fucking stupid. As if, by now, Gus wouldn’t have got a small army together featuring Gal, Minty, Mickey, Jase (where the fuck’s he gone by the way?), Perry Fenwick (i.e. Billy Mitchell – where’s he gone n’all?) and Ricky and kicked the living fuck out of fake-hardman Sean by now. It’s gone on too long. And Gus’s new girlfriend would never have slept with him.

    And how is Sean selling charlie without any contacts or customers?

  8. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I DON’T KNOW. My letter of complaint was about Wellard. How come he shut up when Roxy came round, and then started all yapping when Gus was dragged back to the house? Eh? The Enders is even worsererer than it usually is. And you’re right – where the fuck has Jase and his Hills Have Eyes boy gone?

    They should bring back Roy and Barry as all ghosts.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    The Ghosts of Eastenders would make a good Christmas special actually. Dunno who’d play Frank though.

    Apparently Eastenders is now written exclusively by women. I can’t quantify that or relate it to anything.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    What the fuck is that ‘possibly related posts’ shit up there?

    *tries to remove it*

  11. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    You could get Mike Read to play Mike Reid. Admittedly, that would be awful.

    I don’t know what that possibly related post thing is. WordPress have obviously decided to use your blog to advertise other people’s. Nice of ’em.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    It’s removable. I’ll see if it ups traffic first.

  13. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Piqued’s got it on his site too.

  14. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    The Grey’s Anatomy post on the ‘possibly related posts’ thing appears to be written by a moron.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    There are a million blogs by morons out there, NC. I don’t have to name names.

  16. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve just burped up some Doritos. I’m not very well, me.

    I think these people should be shot at:

    Archbishop Desmond Tutu
    Brian May
    Dame Judie Dench
    Nelson’s Mandela

  17. spongebum Says:

    The series jumped the shark for me when the nice blonde one got left 80 million dollars or whatever and couldn’t make her mind up whether to bank the cheque or not. Huh! I refuse to watch on principle, now.

  18. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I think I’d bank the money.

  19. Clarys Says:

    I love Grey’s Anatomy. But I don’t have testicles, so it’s fine. I’ve just ordered Season Three from the US for fuck’s sake…

  20. piqued Says:

    I’ve only just come back after SH was rude

    (I’ve been cri-ing

  21. Swineshead Says:

    The best song ever written about cri ing

  22. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’m farting like it’s going to be outlawed tomorrow. I told you I was ill.

  23. piqued Says:

    We won’t stand for that sort of thing in London NC, you’ll be taken to Tyburn and have your guts burned in front of your screaming face

  24. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    So things have moved on a lot down there since the 1550s?

  25. piqued Says:

    Yes and no

  26. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Well that’s nice to know. It’s reassuring that you can still go down to the capital to watch a traitor being disembowelled. Are they still burning women alive for clipping the Queen’s coin? I hope so.

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Clipping the Queen’s coin?

    You pervert.

  28. extremelisteningmode Says:

    My wife loves Grey’s Anatomy but doesn’t like the Shield.

    I know, I know, but I’ve just got the house the way I like it.

  29. Gilbert Wham Says:

    Pharmaceutical cocaine is far better injected. Snorting it will give you dreadful nosebleeds.

  30. alanpratt Says:

    Just had to watch an episode of a medical drama as part of a film and broadcasting course. At random I picked Greys Anatomy, apparently it’s now in its fifth series ( I watched one from the first series ) Can wholeheartedly agree with WatchwithMother regarding the observation concerning testicles.Overall watchwithmother has nicely summed up the whole premise of the ‘Medical/Drama’ which in reality, in this case, is little more than a glossy soap opera and not one which I would waste my time watching again, sorry to hear the dog died though !!

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