Nostalgia / laziness



While I wait for someone other than me to write an article, here’s a link to where it all began, before we were even Mothers.

Curled Wup was a football blog about the World Cup of 2006, written by some people who like football, some people who barely know football exists and some people who hate the game.

Some of it’s actually not weathered too badly with the passing of time.

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59 Responses to “Nostalgia / laziness”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    Testing, testing. Is this thing broken?

  2. Swineshead Says:

    Apparently this is broken so I’ve taken off all comment restrictions to see if I can make it work.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Are you bored SH?

    What about embarrassing bodies/illnesses last night? Did you watch it? I have been stricken with temporary blindness, brought about from the shock of witnessing deeply unpleasant sights. I dun seed an old man’s winkie SH. It resembled a rancid mushroom amid smelly, grey moss….

  4. Swineshead Says:

    I’m completely confused*. And anonymous isn’t helping.


  5. Clarry Says:

    It’s me SH. Comment eventually gone through, but took my name off for some reason.

  6. Swineshead Says:

    WEIRDS. But still, I have fixed it with my magic hands.

    I didn’t see that illnesses thing because I was getting drunk while watching Arsenal giant-slaying last night.

  7. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    My apologies for not writing a new article. I was about halfway through writing one about Blood, Sweat and T-Shirts which poured scorn on the young people in the show. Unfortunately, I’ve had a conversion to niceness, and cann’t, in all conscience, carry on writing it. I’ll write nicely about something nice instead.

    Hope you are all well this morning.

  8. Clarry Says:


  9. Swineshead Says:

    What’s happened to NC?

  10. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve become nice. Holy. Lovely. A good egg. Hitting one out of the park for Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, and Bono off of U2. I am no longer horrible. Things have changed.

  11. Clarry Says:

    Wowzers! Have you had a knock to the head this am?

  12. Swineshead Says:

    It won’t last.

  13. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Not at all, Clarry. I merely reflected, after calling everyone who reads my blog an idiot, that I was a callous shitbag, a wrong ‘un, a wastrel, a beast, and a bastard. I’ve resolved to change my ways. I now walk on the side of the light. I LOVE YOU. Yes, that’s YOU.

  14. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    It will last, my son. Bless you, etc.

  15. Clarry Says:

    NC – Gouranga!

    SH – I implore you to watch the embarrassing illness prog – tonight it is about breasts.

    All – Mmm… What do people think about Glasto this year? I’m in two minds whether to go or not.

  16. Swineshead Says:

    Glastonbury? Are you joking?
    I wouldn’t go if you paid me.

  17. Clarry Says:

    Well, it’s never really been about the headliners, has it? There’s a few goodies amongst all the crap. Brian Jonestown Massacre, Spiritualized… Raconteurs……. Er. I don’t even smoke anymore, and that usually papers over the cracks. Always liked spending my time wondering around and getting pissed in the comedy tent.

  18. Clarry Says:

    I fancied Leeds best this year. Or Bestival.

  19. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Glastonbury sounds great. I lasted five minutes there when I went in the 90s, but that’s because I was an objectionable sod who hated the happy-clappy, smile on me brother try to love one another bunch of tie-dyed scum I found there. Now I realise it’s a love-in. A love-in I want to be a part of. I’ll bet you meet a nicer class of folk than I do at Heavy Metal concerts. Mind you, they’re great people as well.

  20. Swineshead Says:

    NC has all blanded out. Blast.

  21. Swineshead Says:

    I like BJTM and Spiritualized. But my fondness for them is outweighed by my distaste at being surrounded by complete fucking idiots for three or four days straight.

    How much are tickets these days?

  22. Clarry Says:

    If you peek between the nice words, there’s a teeny tiny bit of rage hiding out. I can see it.

    Let’s poke him SH, let’s see how long it takes for him to break….

  23. Paul Groves Says:

    Re: Glastonbury and everything else – they’re all a bunch of cock-waving, poncing show ponies and I wouldn’t defecate in their best hats if you forced me by gunpoint.

  24. Swineshead Says:

    NC – it’s not tie-dye scum these days, it’s Guardian journalists, yummy mummys and city bankers who buy the tickets.

    It’s the sort of place Alexa Chung, Steve Jones, that little Osbourne twat and Kate Moss have to go to tick their ‘been to a festival’ box, ensuring they get a page 4 in Grazia magazine.

    It’s a corporate institution and a fucking embarrassment. I’d rather go to the pub.

  25. Clarry Says:

    That’s the gamble you take SH. Nowhere is safe from idiots, apart from at home.

  26. Paul Groves Says:

    Re: Glastonbury and everything else – they’re all a bunch of cock-waving, poncing show ponies and I wouldn’t defecate in their best hats if you forced me by gunpoint.

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Quite right Grovesy (and nice to see you on here on a day that isn’t Thursday)

  28. Paul Groves Says:

    Swines: I lurks a lot, but I don’t watch as much telly as you lot so I feel excluded and unworthy.
    But I’m in a rage today caused by all the bleating nobodies on and that I’ve been a bit of a grubby media whore myself recently – well, rage Groves-style which is quite pathetic really.

    Anyway, back to the cock-waving show ponies and stuff.
    I watched that idiot Eddie Shoestring on Waking the Dead last night – now that really was prime-time poo.
    I quite enjoyed Great British Menu but that’s because I’m too in touch with my girly side and I hate myself for it.

    God, I need a drink…

  29. Swineshead Says:

    *checks out ‘’*

    *is confused by it*

  30. Paul Groves Says: is supposed to allow journalists to vent their spleen. But they’re journalists, they write for a living, shouldn’t they do it anyway? Plus their t-shirts are crap.

  31. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Paul. You shouldn’t blame yourself for being a media whore. Take a leaf out of Saint Agatha’s book. When she came upon an injured lamb, she nursed it back to health, then cooked it and ate it with her fellow nuns. There’s a lesson for you there, my son. Peace be upon you, etc.

    As for Glastonbury being full of Guardian reading, liberal, commie swine? Well they’re now my sort of people, so I’ll enjoy myself in their company. I’ve already filled out a Guardian subscription, and have donated some money to an The AIDS charity. Guardian reading people love The AIDS, and now I do too.

  32. Paul Groves Says:

    NC: I love lamb, its a Welsh thing.
    With your new found Zen-like stuff, how do you feel about this…

  33. Swineshead Says:

    You’re confusing ‘niceness’ with being a liberal. The two don’t go hand in hand. Which is probably the point of your slightly confused personality change/ joke.

    And you fucking stink.

  34. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I do stink, yes. I haven’t had a bath this morning because I’m a tad under the weather and can’t be bothered. I must rectify the situation, mind. It’s not on to be wandering around stinking like an unwell dog when my beautifully be-perfumed other half is in the house. Thanks for reminding me.

    And why is a sudden conversion to goodness treated as a joke? I’ve been at it since yesterday afternoon, and already feel 20% smugger than I did when I was an unpleasant monster. You should give it a try, Swineshead.

  35. Swineshead Says:

    Smugness isn’t niceness – you’re getting it all wrong, you nit.

  36. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Paul – Yesterday your story about the rise in non-English speaking children would have had me foaming at the mouth. Now, I think it’s great that we live in a multicultural society.

    You will not make me fall off the wagon of self-satisfied piousness.

  37. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, Swineshead. All of the world’s truly nice people have been smug to the point that you want to beat them to death with a hammer. Linda McCartney was smug, Anita Roddick was smug, Sting is so smug it beggars belief. Unadulterated smugness is how you’re rewarded for your good deeds. I’ve already done several good deeds, and therefore feel remarkably smug.

  38. Swineshead Says:

    ‘to the point that you want to beat them to death with a hammer’

    If you know how it feels to want that, then you’re not a nice person. Dishing out hammer-beatings is something you desire.

    At heart, you’re a horrible sod.

  39. Paul Groves Says:

    NC: Thanks. I’ve been asked to write an article on that story and I’ve been canvassing opinion. The only demographic I wasn’t hitting was the overtly smug, superficial, ignorant nonces, but now thanks to you I can finish off the article, file and make lots of money. You’re the best!

  40. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Hey, nobody’s perfect! Yesterday I wanted to hang half the populace of Great Britain for various crimes ‘n’ misdemeanours. You can’t expect me to rid myself of the earthly shackles of contemptible horribleness all at once, surely? I didn’t say they should be beaten to death with a hammer NOW, did I? I thought Sting should have been beaten to death yesterday. Now I think he should be given a knighthood, a gold house, and a platinum-plated copy of Paul Simon’s Rhythm of the Saints for his services to rainforest saving, tantric sex, and failing to notice someone had stolen $10,000,000 off him.

  41. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    Paul – Happy to oblige.

  42. Paul Groves Says:

    It is for the Daily Mail…

  43. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    *resists urge to give Paul fucking Groves what for for his nonce comment*

  44. Swineshead Says:

    *wonder what would happen if he just gave NC a load of abuse*

  45. Paul Groves Says:

    That’s not very Zen

  46. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve just exaulted you to the sainthood, Swineshead. You are now one of me.

  47. Swineshead Says:

    Fucking nora!

    Bless you.

  48. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    See? Good deeds do not go unrewarded.

  49. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    You’ll note, ladies and gentlemen, that my goodness has brought an air of calmness to proceedings? The comments section of this blog is a disgrace, and it’s about time we all stopped being horrible all the time. I’d like to see more articles on the best of television, instead of constantly dwelling on the worst. That said, I would like an explanation as to what the BBC thinks it’s playing at in its bizarre torture and imprisonment of Gus – EastEnderis’s most affable character.

  50. Clarry Says:

    Yeah. I’ve been boycotting ‘Enders recently, which hurts me more than it hurts them as i’ve been a loyal fan since the beginning. HOWEVER, I turned on the telly last night and caught the last few moments of Sean crunching his knuckles whilst asking the tied-up-Gus to sit still whilst he administered some more pain. What? What’s happened, are the writers ill?

  51. Swineshead Says:

    Clarry – the writers are all women. As I’ve said before, this may be irrelevant.

  52. Swineshead Says:

    Ooh look – a new article. About cheestrings. By ‘Piqued’. Who’s he then?

  53. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    I’ve just written one about Gus’s treatment. You’ll have to have it as a head-to-head with Piqued’s cheesestrings thing, as it won’t be the same tomorrow.

  54. Swineshead Says:

    Shit. Three posts in one day?
    I’ll put it up around three thirty I think.

  55. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    As you wish.

  56. Swineshead Says:

    Also – this is going to spoil my Eastenders double bill tonight as I haven’t yet seen yesterday’s. But I forgive you.

  57. Paul Groves Says:

    I’m not sure I like the nice new midBritain WWM.
    See you on Thursday…

  58. Swineshead Says:

    What does Grovesy mean by that?

  59. Napoleon Cockaparte Says:

    He’s not happy about all the happiness on display thanks to my newfound love for Jesus, Allah, and The Care Bears. He’s in a huff.

    Which is his right.

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