The Friday Question #1


He's dead, he's dead, he's not dead, he's dead

A new feature on WWM which will probably be binned after today for not getting much of a response. But it’s worth a shot.

So, today’s question is:

Who is the best Dad’s Army character, apart from Wilson and Mainwaring?

Please show your working – and berate anyone who disagrees with you.

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95 Responses to “The Friday Question #1”

  1. Napoleon Says:

    This question seems eerily familiar. As I told you in my e-mail, I’d plump for Walker. He was spivtastic.

  2. Mikey Says:

    I would have to say they are all great. Jonesy, Godfrey, Pikey, Frazier, Walker and all supporting characters and anybody who appeared in it. That was real proper family telly! They don’t make them like that anymore.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    He was great, but a bit shallow for my tastes.
    I’d pick Godfrey (as I also have already said).

    I think we all know that if G fought W there’d be only one outcome – a blood-soaked victory for Godfrey.

    Is that how you spell ‘Godfrey’?

  4. Swineshead Says:

    Mikey – disqualified. YOU CAN’T HAVE EM ALL.

  5. Mikey Says:

    I want every single last one. !!!!!

    (In German accent) I am making a list…NAME…
    Don’t tell him Pike!

  6. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Never watched it. Well I saw bits of it a while back and was bored to tears.

  7. piqued Says:

    Clive Dunn ruined that fucking show making it unwatchable

  8. Swineshead Says:

    Ah, JQW – the folly of youth.

  9. piqued Says:

    Aaaah, bless him

    I remember when Television was all just fields, my mother used to take me up there when I was a little girl to buy a string of liquorice niggers for 2 bobs and crown halved. She worked her fingers to the bone she did, for him. Ooh he was a taskmaster

    But of course it was a different world then, no blacks. I remember the first time I saw one of them. Dirty, they all are.

  10. Napoleon Says:

    Miserable bastards. How can you be bored by Dad’s Army or think Dunn ruined it. You fudd-headed pigs! PIGS!

  11. Swineshead Says:

    Dunn ‘ruined it’. I’ve never heard such horse-shit.

  12. Napoleon Says:

    The man’s ignorant.

  13. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    My great-grandad was in the home guard at frinton-on-sea in WWII, here’s a photo of ’em. (He’s the one in the top middle with the big round hat):

    Text Frinton-On-Sea Home Guard

  14. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Oops I put ‘text’ in there.

  15. piqued Says:

    I’m not

    Dunn’s a cunt of the first water

  16. piqued Says:

    Your grandad gets about a bit doesn’t he, grandad this, grandad that

    Clive Duns sung Grandad

  17. Clarry Says:

    I agree SH, Godfrey was the best!

    Does anyone remember the episode where they worried about being old, so they asked their friend from the mortuary to make them look younger. Cue the hilarity as they used boot polish to blacken their hair, cotton wool to plumpen their cheeks and rouge to brighten theie complexion. Ho ho ho, how I laughed!

  18. Napoleon Says:

    A fine set of fellows, John. Hitler would have thought twice about Operation Sea Lion seeing that little lot, I fancy.

  19. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    That’s me great-grandad, ya nonce. Although he was also Lord Mayor of London like me grandad was. We gets about, our lot.

  20. Napoleon Says:

    Clarry – That was the one where Mainwaring was in the wig and Wilson was strapped up in corsets. I loved the bit where Mainwaring asked Wilson if he’d noticed anything different about him, and, after a bit of humming and aahhhing, Wilson says, ‘Oh God, it’s not monkey glands, is it?” I first saw that when I was a kid and laughed my head off without having the faintest idea what Wilson meant.

  21. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Them’s just the officers anyway – the whole lot of them are here:

    Entire Frinton-On-Sea Home Guard

    Just you wait, I’ll turn this place into a tedious genealogy website yet.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    Please don’t, John.

  23. piqued Says:

    ‘I’ll turn this place into a tedious genealogy website yet’

    You’ve suceeded

    I fucking hated Dads Army

  24. Napoleon Says:

    Dad’s Army was great, Piqued. You probably hated it because nobody builds a poncey house or cooks fancy food in the show. I know you only like shit TV.

    SHIT TV.

  25. piqued Says:

    I’m told by everyone how ‘great’ Dad’s Army was

    I don’t play by your rules, I walk alone yeah


  26. Napoleon Says:

    You don’t walk alone. You drink in a pub or stay at home watching Grand Designs and that arsehole Gordon Ramsey. Hardly the strapping adventurer cutting his own unique swathe through the jungle of conformity.

  27. piqued Says:

    Grand Designs is on 6 times a year, 6 hours worth out of 8760

    You do the math yeah

    As for Gordon, I usually tape it so I can play with myself and rewind parts when there is a full body shot. I think he’s gorge

  28. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Gorge….Cheddar Gorge. wooooooah.

  29. piqued Says:

    Is that Orange Cheddar?

  30. Napoleon Says:

    Like I say, you go out drinking too. That’ll account for a few thousand of those non-conformist hours you spend a-walking on the wild side.

    Face it, you watch pompous shit, and when you’re not doing that you’re a drunkard. What a master of your own destiny you are. Hats off to you for sticking to that singular path you’ve chosen (along with all those other unique souls doing the same thing as you).

    Dad’s Army was great. GREAT.

  31. Swineshead Says:

    I agree with NC on this, Piqued, but like you he got the spelling of Gordon’s surname wrong AGAIN…

  32. Napoleon Says:

    I never get his name right.

  33. piqued Says:

    Spelling? So what

    I don’t play by your rules, I walk alone yeah

    Napoleon, I hardly watch TV at all Holbycityeastenders boy

  34. piqued Says:

    Napoleon, I can imagine you looking down all wet-eyed with the dregs of a bottle of wine in your hand saying that very, very softly

  35. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Holby City? Holby shitty, more like.

    My writers are on strike.

  36. Napoleon Says:

    You hardly watch TV at all? That’s because you go out drinking every day. And when you do watch telly, you watch pretentious waffle.

  37. Napoleon Says:

    “Napoleon, I can imagine you looking down all wet-eyed with the dregs of a bottle of wine in your hand saying that very, very softly”

    Sounds more like the sort of thing you’d do, seeing as it involves booze.

  38. Mikey Says:

    Quintessentially British comedy of the time. Good actors and the family could watch together.

    Mind you ” It ain’t half hot mum ” wasn’t half as good.

  39. Swineshead Says:

    He watches loads of telly. He’s a liar.

  40. piqued Says:

    Yes, I’m burdened with a having a wide range of friends with which I like to socialise

  41. Swineshead Says:

    ‘with whom’ not ‘with which’.

    Grammar’s dreadful in here today…

  42. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    as opposed to…

  43. piqued Says:

    Grammar? So what

    I don’t play by your rules, I walk alone yeah

  44. Mikey Says:

    Though just doing some quick research, Croft and Perry reckon ” It ain’t half hot mum ” was their best collaboration.

    All time best British comedy of all time by a country mile……..

    “Fawlty Towers”.

  45. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Cor ‘ark at him – he’s like a stuck Green Day record.

  46. Napoleon Says:

    Very unique, Piqued. So you go to the pub with your friends and drink, eh? Talk about not playing by the rules! He walks alone, a man in charge of his own destiny. A wanderer.

    I’m off to have a bath – the bath of a shackled drone. You enjoy that unique office job of yours, Piqued. And have fun uniquely drinking in a pub with everyone else tonight, and tomorrow night, and on Sunday afternoon. And enjoy that unique motorcycle ride you’ll be taking. And all those unique meals you’ll stand alone eating. Etc.

    (Not that I could possibly guess what a loose cannon such as y’self is going to be getting up to over the weekend, o’course. You sock it to ’em, maverick.)

  47. piqued Says:

    Something is either unique or it’s not, it can’t be ‘very’ unique can it?

    Having a bath on Friday evening… Be nice to get out wouldn’t it? See some mates perhaps?


  48. Mikey Says:

    I think something can be very unique.

  49. piqued Says:

    It can’t no

  50. Mikey Says:

    Given that there are different unique things, (otherwise there would only one unique thing), there could be a scale of uniqueability.

  51. Swineshead Says:

    I made that ‘unique’ point in my Apprentice blog, Piqued.

    Good to see you’re paying attention.

  52. piqued Says:

    There is only one unique in the context of its usage

  53. piqued Says:

    Did you? On which side did you fall…

  54. Mikey Says:

    On the other hand maybe there is no such thing as unique otherwise it would self evidently be unique.

  55. Mikey Says:

    Tell me something which is unique???

  56. piqued Says:

    You are

  57. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    The eiffel tower.

  58. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    There aren’t any other actual eiffel towers are there? douche.

  59. piqued Says:

    There is a little one in Las Vegas

  60. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    yes, but is it THE eiffel tower? DUN EIFFEL MADED IT? NO I TTHINKZ NOT SO I WINZORS.

  61. Swineshead Says:


    ‘[Michael]… used the grammatical clanger ‘very unique’. Either it is or it isn’t unique.’

  62. Mikey Says:

    Blackpool tower looks like it.

  63. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s not the Eiffel tower though is it? Because there’s only one of them.

  64. piqued Says:

    SH, didn’t see that

    WUV OO

  65. Mikey Says:

    Having second thoughts. Something is either unique or not.

  66. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Right well I’ve got an exam in a few days, so I’m off to the Medics’ union to drink a few pints of ‘revision’. Leffe ‘revision’.

  67. Mikey Says:

    Well then everything is unique, because there is only one of them.

  68. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You got there in the end then Mikey. Well done. Have a drink or coconut.

  69. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


    *hugs Mikey*

    *gets out cock*

  70. Mikey Says:

    How do you pronounce it “Leffe”? I reckon it’s 2 syllables.

  71. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    no cos there are things what are mass produced or deliberate copies or allusions. and then there are fings what are originals or just very different one-offs.

  72. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    if you’re Wallonian Belgian (French-speaking) then it’s one syllable (leff) but if you’re Flemish Belgian (Dutchy sort of thing-speaking) then it’s two syllables (leff-er)

  73. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    and if you’re english it’s ‘leff-ee’ because otherwise you’re some linguist ponce.

  74. Napoleon Says:

    I was using it in the same context one would use a statement such as ‘How very droll’. I wasn’t saying Piqued was even more unique than something else. Thanks for incorrectly correcting me though, Piqued. Nice to see you having a try.

    And by the way. I was having a bath because I’m going out. Not very unique (oh, look!), I know. We can’t all play by our own rules.

  75. Mikey Says:

    I say the Flemish Belgian way.

  76. piqued Says:

    What the hell are you blathering on about Napoleon? You sound like a teenager, on ACIDz

  77. Napoleon Says:

    You’re an intolerable little fuckwit, Piqued. Now do you mind, I’m berating a Scotch baboon on my site.

  78. Mikey Says:

    JQW – ” there are fings what are originals or just very different one-offs”
    You can have very different then???? It is either different or not.

  79. Mikey Says:

    I will accept scaleablity.

  80. Napoleon Says:

    I suppose a man fucking a monkey is ‘different’, whereas a man in full plate armour attempting to mount a pride of lionesses one after the other could be described as ‘very different’.

  81. Swineshead Says:

    That was a short bath – did you soil it within minutes of getting in the tub.
    Nowt worse than rusty bathwater

  82. piqued Says:

    Not so much of the ‘little’ shortarse

    (see you later Sweetie, the Johnstons are coming this evening and it’s Alisons birthday on Monday. Oh, wear your red tie, don’t forget Alan’s cufflinks!! x)

  83. Napoleon Says:

    Swineshead – It had to be. I’ve got some bloody American ringing me about some work at 5:30, then I’m off for a meal and the fucking theatre. It’s not even my birthday.

    Piqued – Fuck you, you little turd.

  84. Badger Madge Says:

    i always had a soft spot for that really old quiet one.

  85. Swineshead Says:

    Godfrey – good choice BM

  86. Napoleon Says:

    Godfrey? He was great. They all were. That said, I never liked Hodges – though I suppose that was the point.

  87. Joanne Says:

    I liked the Scottish one. Frazier? He was a grim old fucker.

  88. Ros Says:

    Fras/z (?) ier of course. We’re DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!

  89. Swineshead Says:

    Isn’t it plain old ‘Fraser’?

    Frazier’s a cross-dressing psychiatrist.

  90. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I though that was Frasier

  91. Swineshead Says:

    You could be right, I don’t actually watch it. It looks shit. Is it shit?



  92. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s surprisingly entertaining. But I don’t watch it.

  93. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You know, I’ve never watched this programme. By the way, do you know who wrote this track I can’t name from the making-of documentary for Backdoor Firemen 8?

  94. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Walker. Britain won the war with moustaches like that.

  95. Nick Says:

    Piqued, You sad man. If you can’t appreciate ‘Jonesy’, then you obviously “don’t like it up ’em”.

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