Helping Barry



(Barry, yesterday)

Some of you will already know Barry from his endless pleas for assistance over here. The background is as follows:

  • Piqued posted about an article about how shit Nick Love’s Danny Dyer vehicle ‘The Business’ is.
  • A bloke called Barry asked us if we knew what song was playing in the background at some point on the extras – as if we’d have the slightest idea.
  • For the past seven years, Barry has waged an unending campaign to find out what the bloody hell the tune is.
  • In a last-gasp, desperate minute attempt to find out, he emailed me the mp3 of it.

It’s now down to you lot to help answer his query, as I don’t have audio so can’t listen to it till this evening. I’m interested to see what you make of it though.

So come on – click the audio below and make Barry’s day.


Tags: , , , , , ,

196 Responses to “Helping Barry”

  1. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well, whatever it is, it’s terrible.
    By the way, SH, you have a sexy/scary woman in your computer saying ‘AVS Media Demo’ lots of times.

  2. Swineshead Says:


    *gets frightened*

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Just had a sneaky listen – it’s fucking awful.

  4. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    the audio track from the film is a bit scratchy/low bitrate, but over the top a few times you hear a sexy/scary woman say ‘AVS MEDIA DEMO’ in an erotically robotic tone.

  5. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    She sounds like a Gestapo vixen, dispassionately sneering while getting off on a hairbrush.

  6. Napoleon Says:

    Well that’s as clear as mud. There’s not much to go on, is there?

  7. piqued Says:

    What the fuck is that?

    What are we supposed to be listening too?

  8. Napoleon Says:

    There’s a couple of snippets of some woman singing. It doesn’t help that there’s a cockney talking over the song, as well as that bloody woman interrupting, as Wagonwheel mentioned.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    The barely audible song in the background.
    I can just about make out a screaming woman and Danny Dyer talking.

    Why Barry needs the answer to this, I do not know.

  10. Napoleon Says:

    It’s Danny Dyer, is it? Well there you go.

    I’m flummoxed.

  11. piqued Says:

    Whatever the music is supposed to be it’s fucking shit, even if I knew what it was I’d refuse to help as to perpetuate such guff is worse than what that Mr. Hitler did

  12. piqued Says:

    Oh, no one else help either because to perpetuate such guff is worse than what that Mr. Hitler did

  13. Swineshead Says:

    Shut up Piqued.

    Can we make out any lyrics?

  14. Napoleon Says:

    I’m not sure helping Barry out is worse than what Mr. Hitler did.

    Is it Bonnie Tyler?

  15. piqued Says:

    SH, telling me to shut up is worse than what that Mr. Hitler did

  16. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’m trying multiple possibilities, by the way.

  17. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It sounds like music you’d hear in a shitty hairdresser’s.

  18. piqued Says:

    Is it The Beatles?

  19. Napoleon Says:

    You need one o’ them machines what you see in the films. The ones that seperate the different sounds. It’s hard to concentrate with that twat Dyer banging on.

  20. piqued Says:


  21. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    so I think we’ve got ‘run for your love’ ‘don’t let him break your heart’ ‘just walk away’ and a few other lyrical bits in there. google tells me that’s a new kids on the block song or something by boyz II men. Which is bollocks.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    New Kids? Sounds like a woman to me.

  23. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I was saying that it’s neither

  24. Mikey Says:

    Might be Europop of some sort…?

  25. Barry Says:

    its something like “Run for your love” “from the heartcache”/”Dont let break”………. Its either a female solo from the 80s or a female pop group? Come on guys…. help…

  26. piqued Says:

    Is it Boyz II a mans?

    I wish Barry was here, he’d know who it was

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Someone put the lyrics we’ve assembled into google followed by ‘lyrics’.

    Worth a shot.

    I hope Barry pays us cash-money for all this help.

  28. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I reckon it’s some shit that the film editors found in the 10p bargain box at the copyright shop and shoved in because it was background music that nobody would notice or ever (for obvious reasons) want to listen to again.

  29. piqued Says:

    Oh, there he is. Useless

  30. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  31. piqued Says:

    What’s ‘Heartcache’ Barry? Some sort of Battenburg or Sponge?

  32. Swineshead Says:

    Heart cake is an offal confection. Bittersweet.

  33. Swineshead Says:

    Can I ask why you have to know what it is so badly, Barry?
    What’s going on?

  34. Swineshead Says:

    I think NC was right in the first place, it’s Roob My Boobs Wi’ That Toob O’ Loob’ by The Stockton-On-Teets.

  35. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Fucking awful pun of the day prize goes to SH.

  36. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You realise if this staggeringly beats the normal comment count it’ll be deeply depressing.

  37. piqued Says:

    I don’t think the song even exists, it was sung by ghosts from the other side that Barry picked up on his spooky radio

  38. Napoleon Says:

    Maybe Dave knows? He’s a racist, and they usually listen to rubbish music. Dave? DAVE? What’s Barry’s song?

  39. piqued Says:

    Is it Reward by Teardrop Explodes?

  40. Swineshead Says:

    He’s also jumped up a couple of places in the racist league and is now numero uno racisto… Dave? What’s the answer to this racist conundrum?

  41. Napoleon Says:

    Is the song racist? Is it racist, Barry? Or Dave?

  42. piqued Says:

    St. Winifreds School Choir, ‘There’s no one quite like run for your love from the heartcache break’?

  43. Clarry Says:

    By typing in snippets of the lyrics into Google, I keep getting Golf and Mike ‘Run For Your Love’, but i’m at work and can’t hear either so it’s probably not the one we’re looking for – also it is a modern song and he seems fairly certain that it’s an 80s one. Interestingly, on every site I visited there is a comment from Barry asking if anyone knows of this song. What’s the story? Do you think that really he sang the song and is trying to raise it’s profile by asking us to find out about it, hoping that one day we’ll turn around and find ourselves humming the catchy tune?

  44. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    it’s not ‘run for your love’ by the osmonds either.

  45. piqued Says:

    …Or Stone Temple Pilots

  46. Swineshead Says:

    Is it The Macarena?

  47. Napoleon Says:

    It’s a woman. But what woman?

    And Barry’s been doing this elsewhere, has he? The fucking traitor.

  48. Swineshead Says:

    I think it’s the Macarena

  49. Clarry Says:

    Scrap that, what about ‘Run for your Love’ from the album ‘Rich and Famous’ released in 1988 by Blue Mercedes. This is 80s but is a dance track apparently.

  50. Clarry Says:

    Mmmm, this is going to annoy me now. Thanks Bal.

  51. Napoleon Says:


  52. Clarry Says:

    Or by Tortilla Factory c1986 under the genre of Motown.

  53. Clarry Says:

    CHRIST, I wish I hadn’t checked WWM today, this is going to kill me.

  54. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I just downloaded that blue mercedes fucker to check it. Will update in a minute.

  55. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Nope, that’s not it.

  56. piqued Says:

    It’s a bit like blindly putting your hand in bucket of sick to find a dog shit this is, but less enjoyable

  57. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I don’t notice Barry doing much looking himself!

  58. Napoleon Says:

    Barry’s next to bloody useless. Are there not credits at the end of the making of documentary? I thought you had to acknowledge any music used? Well, Barry? WELL?

  59. Barry Says:

    Hi, i have checked absolutely EVERYTHING on the DVD and me i have.

    I have even tried dialling 2580 from my mobile and pointing it to the music (SHAZAM) but this has not worked!

    I have tried to ask so many people/different websites about this tune but nobody seems to know.. i rcekon the only person who would know is Nick love (British Film Director/writer)..but how woul we contact him?

    Ps:Mike ‘Run For Your Love’ is NOT the tune. I have tried that too!

    Come on, lets all try harder!
    I think the lyrics are;
    “Run for your love”!…”from the heartache, i always tell you run” for your love”, go your own way” dont give up on your heart”

  60. Napoleon Says:

    ‘How would WE contact him?’ We’re a team, are we?

  61. Barry Says:

    Please can you upload and listen to the clip i have just sent to….It has the AVSMEDIA DEMO woman taken out!

  62. Barry Says:

    I have know idea Napoleon …. cant you guys get in touch with him? your in the filiming industry arent you?

  63. Barry Says:

    Please can you upload and listen to the clip i have just sent to….It has the AVSMEDIA DEMO woman taken out!

    Please can you upload and listen to the clip i have just sent to….It has the AVSMEDIA DEMO woman taken out!

  64. Swineshead Says:

    Yes, we’re all close personal friends of Danny Dyer too – we’re just not trying hard enough, are we?

    Barry. by the way, is sending me an email every ten minutes with newly converted versions of the file – the maniac.

  65. Napoleon Says:

    Where the hell have you got that idea? Swineshead and I aren’t in the film industry, and I don’t think Piqued is either (the fat bastard won’t tell me what he does). Doesn’t that American man have something to do with films? Dave Medlo? Dave?

  66. Napoleon Says:

    Where’s Barry’s new clip?

  67. Swineshead Says:

    Oh for fucks sake… I’ll upload it now.

  68. piqued Says:

    I think I’d be helping to help Barry kick the fucking stool away

  69. Napoleon Says:


  70. Swineshead Says:

    [video src="" /]

  71. Swineshead Says:

    Does that work?

  72. piqued Says:

    (I meant ‘happy’ not ‘helping’ -only had 4 hours kip, soz)

  73. Napoleon Says:

    Your logo’s disappeared.

  74. Swineshead Says:

    Only on this thread so never mind that…

  75. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    This stopped being funny or entertaining a while back now.

  76. piqued Says:

    I feel dehumanised

  77. Clarry Says:

    JQW – thanks for putting me out of my misery on the Blue Mercedes track (what a cool name for a band though!). What about the Tortilla Factory? I think there’s a woman in that group…. There was obviously a drought of band names in the 80s.

    SH – Is that a real picture of Barry at the top? He’s REALLY keen isn’t he? I think HE ought to stop being so lazy and ring the people who made the film and ask them instead of pestering us.

    Also, why would he think we were in the filming industry?

  78. Napoleon Says:

    It was funny? When?

  79. Swineshead Says:

    My head hurts.

  80. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    When I was still drunk.

  81. Napoleon Says:

    That logo’s back now.

  82. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Apparently Tortilla Factory are apparently a Latin/Motown group from the 80s. I didn’t bother finding their albums, this doesn’t sound like motown OR generic latin music.

  83. Swineshead Says:

    I feel like I’ma geriatric sitting with four or five other geriatrics at the internet’s most remote bus stop, waiting for a bus that’ll never come.

  84. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Listen to that lazy eurotrash drawl.

  85. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    ‘sun’s out today’
    ‘was cloudy yesterday’
    ‘know this song?’

  86. Napoleon Says:

    I didn’t win the lottery on Saturday, by the way. Bastards.

  87. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    How otterly dreadful.

  88. Swineshead Says:

  89. Clarry Says:

    But what is his motivation? I don’t understand.

    I think Barry cries himself to sleep at night in the quest for this song.

  90. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    What the hell is that, SH?

  91. Clarry Says:

    SH – ??? what is that pic?

  92. Swineshead Says:

    What I got up to at the weekend.

  93. Swineshead Says:

    Actually I have no idea what it is, but it was posted on b3ta.
    You could try typing the same url but with a different number at the end to see what other weird shit’s there. I’m too scared as that one is sinister.

  94. Clarry Says:

    You weirdo.

  95. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s like ET meets porn film meets 80s boyband gone to fat in a shower.

  96. Barry Says:

    thanks for uploading the new clip guys!

    i know you are all trying hard to find this tune and really apreciate it! i will reward accordingly once somebody submits the artist and track name…

    [video src="" /]

  97. Swineshead Says:

    I tried. Nothing.

    What a shit day.

  98. Swineshead Says:

  99. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I tried your suggestion. This one is just baffling:

  100. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  101. Barry Says:

    Yeah i what a shit day, my day will be so much more happier if i know this tune

    [video src="" /]

  102. Swineshead Says:

    I think we need to get back to TV reviews tomorrow rather than rooting around the internet for the name of a shit song and seriously sinister pictures.

  103. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    true. It would make me feel much safer.

  104. Clarry Says:

    Wonder what Barry’s reward is? Don’t think I want to find the answer now…

  105. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    by changing the number on the end I found a japanese girl being humped by a teddy bear.

  106. piqued Says:

    Finally I get to see what NC looks like

  107. Clarry Says:

    “It’s a bit like blindly putting your hand in bucket of sick to find a dog shit this is, but less enjoyable”

    Piqued’s earlier analogy very accurately describes the picture lottery game you’ve just invented SH.

  108. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

  109. Swineshead Says:

    I just found something I really shouldn’t have seen, especially whilst at work.

  110. piqued Says:

    What was it?

    *unzips fly*

  111. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Worst cartoon joke in history?

  112. Swineshead Says:

    Soft focus fisting

  113. piqued Says:

    *wanks like a chimp*

  114. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  115. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

  116. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    The rest is full of tedious jokes about different types of Linux.

  117. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


    and a picture of NC:

  118. Napoleon Says:

    Hey! I don’t look like that, I look like a convicted Greek child molester. See?

  119. Swineshead Says:

    Never fails to amuse, Mr Perry.

  120. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  121. Napoleon Says:

    That fat man drinking beans from the tin with a spare can of beans on his naked bird’s back is the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I reckon I’ve got at least a 0.007% chance of recreating that scene with my own woman.

  122. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    What that is right there is the most devoted reader of Nigella in Beans’ all-night tribute. You can see where other nights of bean-related orgying have stained the filthy yellow couch brown with spattered branston lust.

  123. piqued Says:

    Take the beans out of the equation and you must get a 100% hit rate every time…

  124. Napoleon Says:

    It’s nice to be appreciated by overweight Russian rapists. I must say, the lady in the photo seems to be enjoying herself immensely.

  125. Barry Says:

    do you think she sang the song im looking for?!

  126. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Stalin’s been editing me again. I think he just likes brushing his moustache against my midriff, the big gay.

  127. Barry Says:

    HELP! RUN FPR YOUR LOVE! Who knows the tune!

  128. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Has a balaklava’d assassin got a gun to your head and is demanding the information? Please at least tell us why you want such a god-awful song.

  129. Clarys Says:

    Barry – have you tried IMDB, or the soundtrack itself? One assumes so, as this appears to be some kind of bizarre obsession….

  130. Napoleon Says:

    Clarys – It’s not on the soundtrack. I’ve already listed every fucking song in the film for Barry, and it proved no good. It’s on the making of documentary, and on and on and on and on …

  131. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    That’s effort. Who could force themself to listen to THAT MUCH 80s music?

  132. Clarys Says:

    Aha, ok, bad suggestion then!

    I would listen to the audio clip to help, however, it just keeps buffering at me. How rude.

    I recommend Barry tries “the answer bank” website (or at least I think it’s called that) as there’s usually some sad bastard that knows the answer to your obscure question (as we clearly don’t)…..

  133. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    He just asked us because we’re clearly all in ‘the filming industry’

  134. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I know I am anyway.

  135. Clarys Says:

    I’m Angelina Jolie.

  136. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Really? I’m Danny Elfman. Shit music, anyone?

  137. Clarry Says:

    “i know you are all trying hard to find this tune and really apreciate it! i will reward accordingly once somebody submits the artist and track name…”

    What’s the reward Barry?

  138. Napoleon Says:

    *bangs head on cupboard door*


    So, nobody’s got Barry’s song yet, eh?

    *trips over mop bucket*


    That answer site Clarys suggested might be the way forward Barry.

    *smashes through plate-glass window*


  139. Barry Says:

    “i know you are all trying hard to find this tune and really apreciate it! i will reward accordingly once somebody submits the artist and track name…”

    What’s the reward Barry?

    £10 in the post – I promise!

  140. Barry Says:

    Clarry whats the website address for the “the answer bank” website ?

  141. Napoleon Says:

    My arse. Why the hell are you so ravenous for this awful-sounding song, Barry?

  142. Napoleon Says:


  143. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


    Is Jesus an Arab now?

  144. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    He still won’t explain…

  145. Napoleon Says:

    Tight-lipped bugger, ain’t he? I fear we’ve failed him.

  146. Barry Says:

    Done – But i doubt anybody on this sad earth knows!

  147. Barry Says:

    I just really like the tune and want to play it and own it!

  148. Napoleon Says:

    You’re clinically insane, Barry. A fruit loop.

  149. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    A nutty critter he certainly is.

    Incidentally, I may not be around for the next 3 days as my exams finish so I’m going to have a massive wankathon while drawing pictures of Princess Diana, listening to the greatest hits of Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

  150. Mikey Says:

    I must admit that 20 odd second snatch is beginnning to grow on me.
    “Run..for your love….
    Don’t lem em break your heart…
    Run for your love doo di doo…”

  151. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    and eating stale bread out of the bag.*

  152. Napoleon Says:

    ELP were one of the worst bands in history. Have fun with that.

    Mind you, I can see the sense in masturbating over The Princess of Windy Candles for three days. She was a lovely woman, and I’ll wager had nipples like great big fried eggs.


  153. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well it’s my way of mimicking Piqued’s 3-day bender of pushing things up his arse while drawing pictures of Gandhi, listening to the greatest hits of Yes and eating canned frankfurters out of a carrier bag.

  154. Napoleon Says:

    He did that, did he? Dirty sod. No wonder he’s on the Sex Offender’s Register with behaviour like that.

  155. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well he did recount the whole journey into the heart of darkness on his blog. Maybe you didn’t notice it because it was much like usual.

  156. smith Says:

    Has anyone found the mystery song yet?

  157. Napoleon Says:

    They’re all the same post, I reckon:

    Who he went out drinking with yesterday.
    What appalling-sounding food he ate last night.
    Complaint about his work/neighbour.
    Plans for the evening (going drinking or watching Grand Designs).
    Shit 1970s rock song stolen from YouTube.

    And has anyone noticed his friend with tits seems to have vanished? 10 Rillington Place, anyone?

  158. Napoleon Says:

    Smith – It’s ‘Fuck My Duck With The Wand Of James Bond’ by the Stockton-On-Teets.

  159. Barry Says:

    Please somebody must know the track)tune! Surely your all interested to find out after such a long search! Must be few months now!

  160. Napoleon Says:

    Believe it or not, Barry, most of us have been able to get on with other things over the last few months. Your quest for your own personal Holy Grail hasn’t got quite the Gallahad/Lancelot following I think you think it has. Sorry about that, you raving loon.

    Are you sure the song’s not by the Stockton-On-Teets? They were a very popular band in Spalding in the 80s. Spalding AND Stamford (Lincs).

  161. Napoleon Says:

    Sorry, that should be ‘The Stockton-On-TEATS’. Lead singer Gummidge O. Slageblatter wouldn’t be best pleased if he read I’d misspelled the name of his band.

  162. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    They’re good them. It was probably them what he said.

  163. Napoleon Says:

    A highly underrated band, Wagonwheel. Indeed, they’re so obscure that many people don’t think they exist. Yet, if you visit you’ll find nothing there to change that view.

  164. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Incidentally, I was watching backdoor firemen 8 last night and in the making-of there was this really shit track in the background at this bit where one of the firemen was saying something. I couldn’t really hear it beacuse the fireman was saying something boring and inarticulate to do with fisting, but I really need the track to add to my collection of bad porn making-of documentary soundtracks. It wasn’t in the credits. In fact, the credits consisted solely of a fireman getting fisted. So what I’m wondering is if you could tell me what that bad track that I really want is called. THANKS.

  165. Dare Says:

    I found something for you guys……..(I hope someone hasn’t found it already. I didn’t read through all of the comments.)

  166. Dare Says:

    Damn! Maybe not….

  167. Napoleon Says:

    Fucking racist.

  168. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’ve actually done a post. No shit:

  169. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I have a comment waiting in your spam queue. And that’s not a euphemism for a vagina.

  170. Barry Says:

    Anyone found the name of the mystery track yet?

  171. Barry Says:

    ***********Anyone found the name of the mystery track yet?************HELP!


    Can somebody tell me an email adress or contact number to contact the makers/producers of the Film?

  172. Swineshead Says:

    Barry – if you don’t stop this I am going to call the police.

  173. Napoleon Says:

    I found him in my garden last night, looking through my windows. I think he was trying to see the contents of my address book to check if I had the number for the director of ‘The Business’. Barry, GET OUT OF MY GARDEN!

  174. Mikey Says:

    Here you go Barry. Unfortunately too late to apply for the job however you can continue your quest.

  175. Clarry Says:

    Barry’s not well is he?

    Even though that MASSIVE £10 reward is tempting i’m not wasting anymore of my time looking for this song. If he finds out the answer he’d better bloody tell us.

    Anyone watch ‘Reverend Death’ last night? Talk about Cuckoo….

  176. Clarry Says:

    P.S Does anyone else feel sorry for Vertigo Films? Barry’s going to bombard those poor buggers with about a trillion emails now. Nice one Mikey!

  177. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued’s hopefully doing us a post about that tomorrow -and I’m watching it tonight. So save your discussion! New post coming up from NC in a bit.

    In the meantime, my better half says she’s being bugged by these lyrics – anyone know where they’re from?

    ‘that time you gave my heart away, and i know all the games you play, because I play them too’

  178. Swineshead Says:

    I hate Vertigo films – ‘go Barry’, say I.

  179. Clarry Says:

    Faith by George Michael?

  180. Swineshead Says:

    Very well done, Clarry. Top marks.

  181. Clarry Says:

    No probem. That will drive Barry into a rage…

  182. Clarys Says:

    Christ, has this still not been solved? I thought The Answer Bank would be a winner, it’s always worked for me.

  183. Barry Says:

    The Answer bank is not a winner for me…great! I know somebody out there knows! and would have thought my constant request for this would have been successful – But it hasnt……………yet!

  184. Mikey Says:

    Barry’s a crazy mixed up kid…but I like him.

    If anybody wants to do the honours and see what it comes up with.

  185. Barry Says:

    I dont know how to use this… ..But it could work! Anybody know how this works!

  186. Barry Says:

  187. piqued Says:

    *throws up*

  188. Napoleon Says:

    What the hell’s the point of linking to that from here, Barry? We’ve conclusively proved we don’t know the bloody answer, I’d say. What? Are we meant to go over to The Answer Bank and say we can’t help you now?


  189. piqued Says:


    I fucking hate that word, Radio 1 DJ / Tabloid parlance

  190. Barry Says:

    sorry guys. i’ll leave you.

    Thanks for all your help so far. Bye.

  191. Swineshead Says:

    You’ve hurt Barry’s feelings, you utter bastards.

  192. Clarys Says:

    I feel a bit bad now.

  193. Napoleon Says:

    He’ll be back.

  194. Clarry Says:

    He’ll definitely be back if I say that i’ve found the answer….

  195. Swineshead Says:

    Go on then – what is it?

  196. Clarry Says:

    Have you caught Barry’s disease or something, SH? Of course I haven’t found the answer, that was supposed to tempt the king of all mentals back, not you.

    Wish I did have the answer though…

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