The Apprentice 2008 – Ep. 10

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Show ten opens and by now we’re so used to the Sugarman’s spiel that it forms a meaningless babble. ‘Job interview from hell… wibble flib… 40 years gruggle plap.. etc…’

All you can really focus on is the stuff that went unnoticed before in the opening sequence over preceding weeks. And this week, for me, it was the size of Alan Sugar’s hands. They are enormous – without equal. They look like big cartoon hands. He’d be a bloody good goalie with those ridiculous flapping grippers.

Six contestants remain in the house and as the phone rang it looked pretty empty – nobody for Claire to hurdle over as she wobbled towards the telephone, shattering furniture and punching holes in the wooden floor as she went to take the call from the interchangeable Franceses. As news breaks that they’re to convene at a breaker’s yard, Sophocles picks up on the fact this this is possibly the last chance he has to show us his hairy nipples, so after a full frontal he gets himself dressed whilst moaning that ‘it’s never gonna fucking stop’. Poor lad’s had enough it seems – he’s ‘finding it harder than everyone else’. The nation is unified as every man, woman and child cries ‘DIDDUMS’.

‘What’s a breaker’s yard?’ asks Lucinda. ‘Gvwaveyard for cars, innit’, replies Lee. That’s what he’s talking about. Breaker’s yards are what he’s talking about. ‘Grr-vvvv-waveyards for du cars’. Just so we’re all clear.

They gather at the scrapyard and the beardie Super Hands turns up to inform them that they’ll be renting cars out. But hey – these aren’t any old cars – these are the sort of cars that make Clarkson spuff his globule into Top Man briefs. On the horizon, several posh four-wheelers rev onto the scene – Scalextric on a grand scale. While the girls smile, a little bit confused by the machinery, Alex and Lee grin from ear to ear. Michael feels that ‘cars are alien’ to him, on the other end. Looking at the high end, two grand a day Zonda, it’s not hard to see why as it looks like a mechanised shark from the future.

Michael was up against Lee as Team Leader and he chose the Ferrari and the Spiker whilst LEE MC-CONCERNED-MC-MCQUEEN’S-WHARRAM-TORKIN-ABAAART chose the Aston Martin and, as a high risk strategy, the Zonda.

All the footage at this point focused on how unfocused that hairy little twit Michael was. He sent Helene and Claire out to sell in the City while he went off on his lonesome to sell in Knightsbridge. Knightsbridge, for the unititiated, is a place where the kinds of people who don’t need to rent posh cars live. The kind of people who can actually afford posh cars, and therefore actually own a few. And so, unsurprisingly, not a single sale. Claire racked up a few small scale sells – renting out a Ferrari for a couple of hours here and there at 65 quid per sixty minutes. Michael’s strategy dead in the water, he used his ‘knowledge of London’ to pick his next spot. Portobello market – the popular fruit and veg stop. On a weekday. The prize idiot.

As Michael flapped about like a grimacing baby chick plummeting from its nest, Lee complained about Lucinda and invented a few cliches, just to pass the time. ‘When a woodpeckers pecking you, it’s time to say “Get off!” to the woodpecker’ he said, creatively.

Lucinda – perhaps predictably – wasn’t really suited to this task and so was disowned by Lee and Alex. Despite begging not to be sent off alone, she was kicked to the kerb and, without the slightest clue about the product, started selling the Aston Martin as a Zonda, her head all confused after wasting hours perforating raffle tickets that were never used.

Lee didn’t sell a huge amount with his tactic of begging businessmen but soon his and Alex’s isometric death-stares forced the Zonda onto a pinstripe prick. Then later, even Lucinda cracked a sale as the afternoon turned into evening.

Over on the other team, only Claire managed to vend her wares. Helene watched, goggle-eyed and confused while over in a completely useless location Michael chased a middle-manager down the street shouting not only ‘You’re going to regret saying no!’ but also ‘GO ON!’ and finally ‘COME BACK’. In the throes of desperation he began to follow this poor sod, asking if he could come to his meeting with him whilst abandoning the supercar in the middle of nowhere. Smart thinking! Ultimately, he was disappointed by his customers, he said. Which is perhaps the worst angle a salesman can approach his work from.

Then it was onto the evening stretch and selling under the traditional Apprentice marquee. You need a marquee for an Apprentice task. It’s stitched into the fabric of the show.

Michael’s positive attitude continued on even with drunk City boys wandering around with open wallets. ‘Treat yourself for GOD’S SAKE!’ he cried, trying to add bottles of champagne into the mix as a freebie, and coming away with nought. Claire managed a few more sales and Helene achieved nothing.

Alex, on the other hand, notched up at least three Zonda sales by the end. At this point, his future (and my place in the sweepstake) were secured. The last gasp chase for the final sale (in 60 seconds – yeah right) was so fabricated you could only laugh. Like they didn’t give him a quarter of an hour to sort it out.

So Michael’s team sold £2,114 whilst Lee, Lucinda and Alex flogged almost twelve grand. Which is impressive. Sugar almost raised his cartoon-hand to his forehead and said ‘fucking hell….’ in astonishment at just how well they did. Before they were sent off to gob out a load of trifle-tasting wine into a bucket in Mayfair, Sugar had a dig at Lucinda. ‘Shut up’ he said ‘before I give you a bigger shovel to dig your own grave with’. Yeah! Nice one , Alan! Stupid girls.

So it was between Claire, Michael and Helene. The former was told she was safe and the latter was told – at quite some length – that she’s a corporate nobody. She almost cried and that evil feline face was on the edge of cracking into tears. But then, joy of joys, the reckoning arrived. Despite ‘flickers of diminishing brilliance’ – the word ‘flickers’ being Alan’s contribution and the ‘brilliance’ Michael’s own, this mini ‘disaster zone’ was booted out, and not before time, eh?

Thankyou for the opportunity, he whimpered, before wandering off, probably more relieved than anything. He’s good TV, but pray you never meet the bumbling little tit in real life.

Episode 1
Episode 2

Episode 3
Episode 4

Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7

Episode 8
Episode 9

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161 Responses to “The Apprentice 2008 – Ep. 10”

  1. badgermadge Says:

    I was quite looking forward to seeing him at the interview stage. What comedy that would have been…

  2. Swineshead Says:

    Especially after the ‘good jewish boy’ lie. I wonder what other crap he’d scrawled on that CV.

  3. badgermadge Says:

    Totally. Lamb > Slaughter.

  4. CJ Says:

    You didn’t mention the best/worst bit; Michael offering to go into the poor blokes meeting! I don’t think I’ve cringed so much in ages. I would have punched him – the worst type of salesman…next stop Phones 4U.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    Better be kosher.

    Only two weeks left. With a BB overlap of one week.

    Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….

  6. Swineshead Says:

    CJ – According to Andrew Collins he sells double glazing, which is as bad as mobile phones. Worse even.

    Thanks for the reminder, you’ve forced an edit.

  7. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    How could you possibly watch Big Brother anyway? The one time I tried I got bored and antsy in seconds and changed it.

  8. badgermadge Says:

    I also liked how he was chatted up at the end by that dude who wanted to take him for a spin (with the champagne). His Mr got a bit shirty and went “Maybe you two should go together!” Class.

    Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….Must stay away from BB….

  9. Swineshead Says:

    That’s because you are superior to everyone else, JQW. And not even in an amusing way.

  10. Mikey Says:

    Why do I have the need to express an opinion on this program? Why?

    Anyway…LEE as project manager should have looked after Lucinda more. He has come down in my estimation and has shown himself to be a bit of a wuss. He was safe with his mate Alex and left Lucinda of all people in this task, out on her own. As a good project manager he should have left Alex for a while and went with Lucinda to brief her fully and give her some good old fashioned car talk. But no, he stayed with his mate. He could have been dashing and more to the point a good project manager but no. LEE is all mouth and no trousers. LEE & Alex, it was Lucinda’s idea of the raffle,.
    He gives it all THAT but there are no hidden depths. Yes the strategy did win, but mainly thanks to the Zonda. (or the Batmobile as Lucinda compared it to at one point. Sweet girl).

    As for Sophocles. Well I felt a bit sorry for him. Poor chap was quite helpless in this task. His pursuance of the man to his business meeting and suggesting he would come also to the meeting was hilarious. Sophocles does not seem to like Football (I am not sure why I say that) and knew nothing of cars. He did seem quite keen on “Am Dram” and performance stuff. I think a career in events, or the theatre in some sort of capacity would suit him.

    On the “your fired” show, they do come across as not so bad people. I thank all the candidates for the entertainment they are giving me.

  11. badgermadge Says:

    Yes, but wasn’t it LEE who was so nasty to Sara that time? Didn’t he shout at her for avoiding being fired? Or was that someone else?

  12. Mikey Says:

    Yes it was BM.

  13. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Alright SH, no need to get shirty. But seriously, It’s just annoying.

  14. Swineshead Says:

    It was Lee. I don’t like Lee. He’s got the eyes of a murderer.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    Hang on, Mikey, are you saying it was BM who bullied Sara?
    Is this true, BM?

    JQW – yes, it is complete and utter shit. But you don’t get Brownie points for stating the obvious, sunshine.

  16. badgermadge Says:

    No! I didn’t like her eye make-up but I never said anything. Is Mikey bullying me by saying I was bullying Sara?!

  17. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You’re just hooked on reviewing, can’t keep your teeth away from the juicy rump steak that is the easily broadsidable Big Brother. GET CLEAN.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    I don’t know who’s bullying who any more, BM. You’re bullying Sara, Mikey’s bullying you and it feels like JQW is bullying me. Then you have Piqued being bullied by NC… it’s just too complex on this website. I hate all the grown up feelings.

    *storms off in tears*

  19. Mikey Says:

    Swineshead’s bullying me.

  20. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Who’s bullying whom*. Now put your head down that toilet or I’ll do it for you.

  21. Swineshead Says:

    Hey, JQW, this is WWM, yeah? We ain’t formal round here – we hang loose. So drop the formal talk, biznatch and get back to your classical records you big gay squares.

  22. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Thems the rules. Currently Mario Marini’s ‘Guaglione’ for novelty value, actually.

  23. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Marino Marini*

  24. Swineshead Says:

    I have a feeling Alex’s CV will be ripped apart at the interview stage. I was sure only three went in for interview at this stage last time round…

  25. piqued Says:

    I will be watching Big Brother, as will all of you too (save that vastly superior teen, of course)

  26. Mikey Says:

    Not me, I do not watch BB, though I can assure you even without watching you hear about it. Whether it be a voting scandal or some contestant revelation, it finds you.

  27. piqued Says:

    Doubtless WWM will become stuffed full of BB related banter so you might want to review your policy?

  28. badgermadge Says:

    Oh yes! Alex’s CV. Excellent. And he’s a proper bullshitter too, so all is not lost! My Apprentice rev is up btw.

  29. badgermadge Says:

    I actually took notes this time!

  30. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s alright, it’s full of Apprentice banter at the moment and I’ve not seen 5 minutes.

  31. Swineshead Says:

    It’s worth taking notes except you miss half the non-action.

  32. badgermadge Says:

    Well, I’m missing the BB launch tomorrow as I’m off er… on a date (!). That usually sucks me in and it’s nice to rate them as they go in, so I guess I won’t be watching it as much this year. Plus I seem to be out most nights (soooo popular) – isn’t it weird that as soon as you’re on your own, you’re actually busier? I’d’ve thought when you’re with someone you do stuff, but no! Most odd.

    *brain explodes*

  33. Napoleon Says:

    I won’t be watching Big Brother either.

    As for The Apprentice, this one bored me so I turned it off and watched a war movie instead. Michael got the boot, did he? Serves him right, the little cunt.

  34. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Which war movie?

  35. Swineshead Says:

    NC – are you finding V+ goes slow from time to time? And the other day it got stuck with fucking subtitles for an hour. It makes me mad.

  36. Napoleon Says:

    The Heroes of Telemark.

  37. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Ah, that’s a goodun. One of my favourites. They cop off while wearing heavy snow gear to confuse Nazis and a rabbit runs into all landmines. Then they blow up a factory and a boat and that.

  38. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Naturally nothing’s as good as Where All Eagles Dare or All Guns Of Navarone And That, but it’s still better than that massively overrated bucket of tripe, The Great Escape.

  39. Napoleon Says:

    Swineshead – I’m not having bother yet. I say ‘yet’ because I will do if my previous experience with Virgin is anything to go by. Give ’em a bell and get an engineer out.

    Wagonwheel – I’m not taking film criticism from a pup who’s barely out of short trousers. The Great Escape’s a cracking film, you ignorant whippersnapper.

    Piqued – Cunt!

  40. Swineshead Says:

    You seem out of sorts, NC. I am intuitive and can tell these things using my womens’ intuition and breasts.

  41. Mikey Says:

    The Great Escape’s a cracking film, you ignorant whippersnapper.

    AGREED, any film with Shuie Mcfee in it has to be fantastic. (But JQW will have no idea who Shuie is).

  42. Napoleon Says:

    My wrist’s driving me up the bloody wall. It’s making me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

    Or when I’m not angry, now I think about it.

  43. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Nah, too long overrated, not as good as Kwai.

  44. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    That’s what happens when you wank too much.

  45. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Or, you know, more seriously and less obviously, you might want to get that checked out. Being an artist and having RSI don’t go well together.

  46. Napoleon Says:

    Fuck me! A wanking quip? When someone mentions their wrist? Why hasn’t anyone thought of tapping into this rich comedy seam before?

  47. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s surprising really, it seems obvious. I must just be a genius. But seriously, get your wrist checked.

  48. Napoleon Says:

    Been there, done that.

  49. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    What’s wrong with it then? RSI? Or just weirded up and spazmoided?

  50. badgermadge Says:

    *Back to the matter in hand* I was VERY tempted to make some sort of spitting/swallowing quip about the wine tasting last night.

  51. Swineshead Says:

    Not good, NC. You have my sympathy, not that it’s worth much.

    YOU MUSTHAV DUN WANK 2 MUCH.

    *goes off to read badgerblog*

  52. piqued Says:

    I love the Great Escape too NC

    (wuv oo)

  53. Napoleon Says:

    John – It’s fucked-up, let’s leave it at that.

    Swineshead – Yes, it’s wanking. Yes it is.

    Piqued – Gadfly.

    Jimmy Nail – It takes a big man to admit that a pair of shoes are the only friends he has left.

  54. piqued Says:

    But I do LOVE The Great Escape

    why, I can see that pin over there

    *trips up*

    *gets shot*

  55. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Sounds like RSI to me. Is it RSI? Is it?

  56. badgermadge Says:

    Boy films? RSI?

    What is everyone going on about?

    *leaves in a girly huff*

  57. Napoleon Says:

    Sorry, Badger. Let’s focus on female interests instead.

    So … erm … anyone got any good haircut stories?

  58. Swineshead Says:

    I cut my own hair, as it happens. This is the reason I look like a mental.

  59. piqued Says:

    No you don’t

  60. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Feel the love.

  61. Swineshead Says:

    Actually, I’m pretty handy with a pair of clippers.

    *shaves piqued’s ‘lad’*

  62. Napoleon Says:

    I haven’t had a haircut since last November. I look fucking ridiculous.

    Hope this satisfies Badger.

  63. Swineshead Says:

    I’m sure we can do more female interest stories if we put our mind to it.

  64. Napoleon Says:

    What about how fat/thin so and so is? Shoes? I don’t know anything about shoes … are Clarks a popular brand for Sex & The City-type women?

  65. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Have you got a mullet?

    I saw some great shoes yesterday. They had heels and everything.

  66. Swineshead Says:

    NC, when it comes to shoes I don’t think you can really beat Clarks. Sadly you’re on the money again with that one.

  67. Mikey Says:

    Come on guys….Hello , OK , Cosmo etc…..

  68. Napoleon Says:

    I thought I might be. I like the way that machine tickles your foot.

  69. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    when they move the slider? yeah that’s good.

  70. Swineshead Says:

    I like the way the staff are completely disinterested in any queries you have in Clarks. Still – £30 for a pair of shoes ain’t bad. leaves you change for a few kievs, eh what?

    *gossip mode*

    Is it me or is that Mikey fella putting on weight? I’ll scratch his eyes out etc…

  71. Mikey Says:

    I am going to take the Cosmo test to see if I am over eating or under eating………….

  72. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Clarks village is in the next town along from me when I’m at home. They have a massive warehouse Clarks, a Clarks shoe museum and a Clarks shoe factory.

    Hmm, I think the factory bit and obsessive museum thing may have made it mannish again.

  73. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    As well as massively boring, obviously.

  74. Swineshead Says:

    Not really, JQW – my missus made me go to the V&A exhibition of that woman who used to diddle Malcolm McLaren whose name escapes me at the moment. It was mercifully brief.

    So it seems women get all statty over these things, like men with their motorbikes/cars/music/football/pornography

  75. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’ve not yet seen a V&A exhibition that doesn’t sound on the most part awful.

  76. Mikey Says:

    Vivienne Westwood.

  77. Swineshead Says:

    That’s the one.

    Actually, it was better than I expected. Better than hanging about outside a ‘retro clothing’ outlet in Brick Lane smoking endless fags and wondering when the shopping will ever end.

  78. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Oh yes, those places where you can buy clothes that aren’t fashionable any more to wear in public.

  79. Mikey Says:

    Question 3). Do I eat more during menstruation?

  80. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Depends how much of your vagina’s fallen off and needs to be replaced, I guess Mikey.

  81. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You should just call the soup hotline as available at my blog.

  82. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve been lined up for a shopping trip against my will on Saturday. That’s a day of my life I won’t get back trailing after ‘er indoors around the awful, awful Meadowhall Shopping Centre. I don’t WANT to go shopping. I want to do man things – hammers, porn, Top Gear repeats, lung cancer etc.

    Fat fucking chance o’ that.

  83. Mikey Says:

    I am going to put, Yes.

  84. piqued Says:

    The Clarks shoes machine comment by NC has sparked an office debate

    Machine measure or the hand operated one, which was was better?

  85. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    hand, easily.

  86. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Also, is your entire office sitting round your computer watching your every read?

  87. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Or did you smoothly sidle it into conversation as if it was your own idea?

  88. Swineshead Says:

    JQW, don’t feign ignorance. The concept of ‘retro’ is there because things come back into fashion.

  89. piqued Says:

    *yawns*

    Machine (easily)

  90. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    To be honest, I did buy a 40s tailored dinner jacket suit from one.

  91. Napoleon Says:

    I liked the machine, Piqued. It was like something out of Tomorrow’s World when you were seven. In fact, there was always a crushing sense of disappointment for me when the women pulled out the hand-measurer. I used to stare longingly at that machine as she (kiddie) fiddled about with my feet.

  92. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Come to think of it, the slight moment of excitement as it touched your toes and carried on pushing for a moment, that miniature fear of it crush your foot inwards did add an extra charm. but the feeling of a tape measure round your foot is also oddly pleasant.

  93. Swineshead Says:

    I didn’t need to use that machine as I knew my shoe size when I walked in. Wasn’t exactly rocket-science, chaps.

    *waddles off in clown shoes like two canoes*

  94. Napoleon Says:

    That’s a rite of passage you missed out on then, Swineshead. No wonder you grew up into a monster.

    I grew up to be the cat that won’t cop out even when there’s danger all about … thanks to that machine.

  95. Swineshead Says:

    I’ll have you know I was born in the spring of the summer of love and what’s more, it was slap bang in the middle of a crossfire hurricane.

  96. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Except when you’ve got a bunged-up wrist.

  97. Swineshead Says:

    Harsh to bang on about that, JQW. Not to mention unfunny.

  98. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    tsk, alright, just because you’re buddies and that.

  99. Napoleon Says:

    You may have been born in the spring of the summer of love, but that doesn’t beat where I was born – in a wagon in a travellin’ show. My momma used to dance for the money they’d throw. Meanwhile, Papa would do whatever he could … y’know? Preach a little gospel … sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good. That sort o’ thing.

  100. Mikey Says:

    The old foot measurer..yep it tickled!
    Not quite the same, but the clippers on the back of the neck has a sort of tickly quality too.

  101. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Besides which, what is this, a tea party?

  102. Napoleon Says:

    *polishes crocodile shoes*

  103. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    More tittle tattle please, NC.

  104. Napoleon Says:

    Tittle tattle? That’s your job isn’t it?

  105. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Odd how you and Shitbagger have the same IP, I thought.

  106. piqued Says:

    Testing

  107. piqued Says:

    I totally agree

    The machine was ace, the anticipation as the slider came towards ones socked toes. It used to make my winkie go all funny

  108. Swineshead Says:

    Who is shitbagger – is it Piqued or JQW?

  109. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s like the scary bit in Willy Wonka:

    WHERE WILL IT STOP? NOBODY KNOWS!

    But in 3D.

  110. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It’s NC

  111. Swineshead Says:

    So all that talk of me littering the internet with dead blogs is hypocrisy in the extreme, it seems.

  112. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You might say so.

  113. Napoleon Says:

    Fuck … forgot about IP addresses. Anyway, it’s not me.

  114. Mikey Says:

    Inside leg measurements!!!

  115. Swineshead Says:

    I just looked at it and it’s covered in tits.

  116. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well it’s either you, your wumman, someone who’s been breaking into your house to spread celebrity filth or a SENTIENT GHOST IN THE MACHINE, SET ON EXPOSING* CELEBRITIES.

    It had to be you.

    *lying about

  117. Swineshead Says:

    Fucking nora!

    http://whythatsdelightful.wordpress.com/2008/05/28/mobile-in-microwave/

  118. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Crikey.

  119. badgermadge Says:

    Blimey!

  120. piqued Says:

    Chelt!

  121. piqued Says:

    It’s all gone a bit quiet in here?

    *has a wank*

  122. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Everyone dun gone. I’m going to meet a SCOTCH person.

  123. Mikey Says:

    I am off to join the French Foreign Legion. See you or should I say “au revoir copain”.

  124. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    “mes copains” would be better.

  125. Mikey Says:

    c’est vrai mon brave! Merci.
    Au revoir mes copains.

  126. goodbyetoallfat Says:

    Hi Swineshead,

    Just dropping by briefly to let you know I’ve left a reply on Collins’ blog regarding one of your comments (about supercars and the type of twats who drive them).

    Depends how long Collins takes to approve the comment you will see it sometime.

    ttfn
    Sharon

  127. Swineshead Says:

    Hello Sharon… thanks for letting me know. I’ll go have a look!

  128. piqued Says:

    creep

  129. Swineshead Says:

    I’m talking to Sharon on her own level – one of courteousness and politeness levelled with enthusiasm.

    As for ‘creep’, your behaviour at that party in a desperate attempt to be liked… I need say no more

    (I like your t shirt mate, I like your chain, you could be a model…etc… vomit)

  130. piqued Says:

    Oooh, touchy

    (I was talking to you)

  131. Swineshead Says:

    Oh. I was jealous. I thought you were talking to that old woman who was pissing through the window.

    Touch me.

  132. Napoleon Says:

    Sounds a bit fawning, does that. My approach to parties is to be so grotesquely drunk and insensitive to anyone else’s feelings/carpets, I’m ejected from the event within the hour.

  133. Swineshead Says:

    To be honest, he did a much better job of fitting in than me. I was just the miserable sod in the corner with the smelly trainers.

    We need more parties. I need practice.

  134. Napoleon Says:

    Can’t stand parties. What’s wrong with boozers? They know what they’re doing in those places – much more civilised.

  135. Swineshead Says:

    You can’t take cans in. That’s perhaps the only benefit of a party, now I think about it.

  136. piqued Says:

    I like both, happy with an an empty room and a case of wine to be honest

  137. Swineshead Says:

    Not even a television?

  138. Badger Madge Says:

    and some nibbles. gotta have nibbles *burp*

  139. Swineshead Says:

    Depends what the nibbles are, BM. Cheesy nibbles are definitely permitted.

  140. Badger Madge Says:

    yeah cheesy. and potatoey, and nutty… *drools*

    it’s weigh day today and i’ve only eaten carrot and apples. i’m turning into a horse.

    TTFN x

  141. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve eaten a shedload of crap.

  142. Napoleon Says:

    I like Twiglets, even though they’ve ruined ’em of late.

  143. Clarys Says:

    That mobile phone thing was actually quite unsettling.

    *widey*

  144. Swineshead Says:

    It looked like it was going to turn into an alien baby and then a human head.

  145. Swineshead Says:

    Brilliance:

    http://redscharlach.livejournal.com/157073.html

  146. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Those are rather good.

  147. Swineshead Says:

    I reckon so too.

    Apparently we’ve got a post about the Jack the Ripper museum coming up today. Should break up the Apprentice repetition nicely.

  148. Louche Says:

    Every time Lucinda appears I hate her a little bit more.

  149. Swineshead Says:

    That surprises me, Louche – she’s your sort of person I’d have thought. I don’t mean that in a nasty way either.

    I think she’s slightly irritating but decent overall.

  150. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    NC’s not around today. He alright?

  151. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Oh, ok, he’s busy bastarding his chips and beans.

  152. Swineshead Says:

    I haven’t read that yet, on account of it being stuffed with celebrity tits

  153. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    That’s a reason not to?

  154. Swineshead Says:

    I am at work, in an open plan office, not a halls of residence wank-hovel like your good self.

  155. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Sounds a bit swish to me. How do you pass this off as work?

  156. Swineshead Says:

    I don’t – I just keep my head down.

  157. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Enjoyable job then.

  158. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Michael is a psuedo-himan trapped in an apes body. He brought the dynamism of Kevin along with the Sales technique of Lucinda and the likeability of Jennifer to the table. not a great cocktail.

    I do like sweet little Lucinda, the girl appears to be absolutely rubbish at everything. It brings out my slightly creepy male breadwinner fantasies.

  159. Pierre Langat Says:

    Lee should win. He’s rough, gritty and ambitious, much like the Sir himself, I suspect. Plus, OMG, is he big, juicy and simply GORGEOUS!! I know he’s straight but I just can’t help myself. GO Lee, you stud!!!

  160. Swineshead Says:

    Blimey – our first out and proud commenter!

  161. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    He fancies LEE MCQUEEN! though. Can’t be trusted, I say.

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