Big Brother 9 – Alexandra booted out


Alex's stupid face

From The Press Association:

Alexandra allegedly made the comment about gangsters while speaking to albino contestant Darnell, while a number of other housemates were in proximity.

According to Channel 4’s transcript, while discussing the fact that she had been nominated, Alexandra told Darnell: “I’m not throwing water at anyone. It’s bigger than that…personal offence is never forgotten, do you know what I mean?

“We are just inside the house. I’ve got a very, very, very, very, very strong team outside the house”.

She added: “I just can’t wait to see my mans and them and see what their plans are, who they got…I’m not talking about those mans, I’m talking about my gangster friends. They got some instructions to follow out.”

She added later: “I get to go out, see everyone’s friends, I get to see their family. I get to do the s*** that I wanna do. Pow, pow, pow.”

Angela Jain, Head of E4 and Big Brother at Channel 4, said: “Alex’s comments will be widely interpreted as having been intended to intimidate. Other housemates have said they found her comments to be threatening and we believe that is the reasonable conclusion for them to have reached given the way Alex has behaved previously.”

Making threats alluding to gun-crime… very smart work, that – given the current climate. Pow, pow, pow indeed.

For those of us still half-watching (I find myself tuning in on catch-up, then tuning out after half an hour) – this is good news in that the tedium of Alex’s self-important screech has been ripped from the screen. When muslim Mohamed pulled on a frock for a laugh, she told him ‘you’ve disgraced me and you’ve disgraced your religion’, which is not only harsh on the ear in terms of mangled grammar, it also has a vague waft of persecution about it. She’s not a Muslim after all (no matter what she may have said). She was purely using his faith (waning or otherwise) against him.

Having said that, BB without incident and controversy is literally a bunch of idiots being nice to each other in Ikea. I only really catch it to see what monstrous individuals our publishing and broadcasting industries have created. So now my fingers are crossed that maybe Darnell is secretly a trained killer, or Mikey’s a psychopathic robot and real violence is going to kick off.

In other news, last night I genuinely had a nightmare involving me attending Mario and Lisas’ wedding. It was in a car-wrecking yard and featured Brad Pitt who, despite being called Brad Pitt, resembled a young Jason Donovan. It was awful.

I watch too much TV. Remember I told you.

The row that kicked it all off:

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70 Responses to “Big Brother 9 – Alexandra booted out”

  1. Napoleon Says:


  2. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Shouldn’t you be working?

  3. Swineshead Says:


  4. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  5. Swineshead Says:

    It’s a talking point, at least…

    If NC or Piqued fancy doing an article I’m happy to let it usurp the above as lead article, obviously. BB is WWM filler. And an aid to internet traffic.

  6. Swineshead Says:

    Oh, right.

    I should also be working.

  7. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    We all should really. But I have a HOUSE! FUCK YEAH! *terrorist fist jab* so I’m in a good mood.

  8. Napoleon Says:

    I am working, I am.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    You’ve bought a house?

    I’ve been off the sauce for 13 days. This is a 14 year record.

  10. Napoleon Says:

    You have a house? Shouldn’t that be ‘you have an overpriced room in a house’?

  11. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Still haven’t seen that:

    A.) Virgin Mary
    B.) Flamingo

  12. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’ve signed on it and given me landlady postdated rent cheques covering me until october. And what with having shared rights to the whole building and pay utilities I have got legal run of the place, which is close enough for me.

  13. Swineshead Says:

    Didn’t understand your ‘virgin mary’ post above.

    So you’re a middleman landlord – are you going to profit by overcharging the others for rent?

    I hate people who do/did that at university.

  14. Napoleon Says:

    So I’m right then. Bloody students.

    As for the Virgin Mary and the flamingo?

    1. The Virgin Mary won’t be on a CD cover until 2009. I’m not allowed to publish the image until after the company’s used it, as I don’t own it.
    2. Stick your fucking flamingo up your arse.

  15. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Napoleon said ages ago he was drawing a cartoon of the Virgin Mary, but never did. The liar. And no, shared rights with the other tenants, who are my friends.

  16. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Oh, fair enough.

  17. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It could be a flamingoid Sinead O’Connor…

  18. Swineshead Says:

    I agree with Napoleon – stick a flamingo up your arse.

  19. iamnotthebeatles Says:

    I found a shortcut in IKEA at the weekend which went right from the beginning… to right at the end – next to all those cheap candles and glasses. It was like the Lion, The Witch and the MDF Wardrobe.

  20. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Would sticking it up Sinead O’Connor’s arse be close enough?

  21. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Yeah, it’s designed so you can do that. In Bristol it is, anyway.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    I only went in an IKEA once. I couldn’t see what all the fuss was about. My ex, on the other hand, appeared to have some kind of orgasm. It’s just wood stuff and funny shaped cutlery.

  23. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve never been to Ikea. I never want to go to Ikea.

    What’s wrong with Woolworths? That’s what I want to know.

  24. Napoleon Says:

    This was in the 90s when I went. Back in the days when your house had to look as sterile as possible. I was duped into going – she said we were off to look at some birds in a bird sanctuary. The giant-arsed, hook-nosed, foul-tempered, lying, cheating BITCH.

    I’m not bitter, mind.

  25. piqued Says:

    Ikea is great, it’s so cheap

  26. smarkatch Says:

    “BB without incident and controversy is literally a bunch of idiots being nice to each other in Ikea.”

    That’s a beautiful summation. I’m going to steal it and pretend I wrote it. REMEMBER I TOLD YOU.

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Smark – do that and die.

  28. Swineshead Says:

    That wasn’t a genuine threat, by the way. There will be no pow, pow,pow.

  29. smarkatch Says:

    Sorry, too late. I’m removing you from the interwebs posthaste.

  30. Swineshead Says:

    FINE, I won’t say anything to anyone ever again.

    Remember that it was me, Swineshead – me. I told you that thing.

  31. smarkatch Says:

    Be quiet and take your bra off. You’re a disgrace.

  32. Swineshead Says:

    How can she claim to be a muslim? You don’t get many muslim single mothers with short skirts, as far as I know.

  33. smarkatch Says:

    I think she probably is a Muslim, in the same way a lot of people would consider themselves Christian but haven’t been to church since they were at school.

    I was disappointed that Mohammed wasn’t quick or eloquant enough to come back with anything decent though. Bloody fool.

  34. piqued Says:

    Ikea’s is fine with me by the way

  35. Swineshead Says:

    Ikea’s too far out for me to bother with. And I don’t really enjoy looking at shelves.

  36. Napoleon Says:

    It just seemed like any old stuff shop to me. Full of goggle-eyed women buying wood things. I’ll never understand shopping.

  37. Swineshead Says:

    Shopping’s alright so long as it’s at HMV or somewhere similar. Otherwise it’s dull.

    And clothes shopping with the females is generally an agonising, interminable evil.

  38. Napoleon Says:

    Tell me about it. T’other half’s got a pay rise, so that’ll be muggins being forced to trail around clothes shops in that ‘orrible Meadowhall place. The only consolation I ever get from this experience is a baked potato in the food hall. Hopefully I won’t follow Brian Harvey’s example and run myself over after eating it.

    I had to get a new shirt the other day. I got as far as the first shirt I saw, and bought that. I was already so full of hatred for shopping after three minutes, I couldn’t take it anymore.

  39. Swineshead Says:

    Aaah – shirt shopping. I know a tiny shop down the road from work where you get measured immediately on arrival, they lay out about 10 shirts at cut price that’ll fit you, you choose what you want, pay then fuck off.

    Browsing is the real evil. We shouldn’t have to browse.

  40. Napoleon Says:

    Sounds like a good shop – if they cut the shirt choice down to two shirts.

    What I cannot understand is why they (and by ‘they’ I mean birds) can walk past pub after pub on their mission to look at clothes on a Saturday, without ever suggesting going in one. What’s that all about?

  41. Swineshead Says:

    To be honest, if you were with a girl who wanted to go into every single pub you’d have the opposite kind of problem.

  42. Napoleon Says:

    I’d find it quite fun. Until all her teeth fell out.

  43. Swineshead Says:

    I knew a girl like that. It ended with a split shin and a broken nose for old muggins here. She did the shin, a bouncer did the nose, the rest – as they say – is history.

  44. Napoleon Says:

    Mine used to land me in a fair bit of hot water until she went all sensible. It’s just shopping now. NOTHING BUT SHOPPING.

  45. Clarry Says:

    Well, as much as I like record shopping, when my old boyfriend (who was a completely obsessive hoarder) and I used to go shopping we used to take it in turns going into the shops we wanted to visit. Although i’m sure he was bored looking in the girl shops, he used to get his revenge by making me stand in the record shops for perhaps 3 hours at a time, as he had to check ad re-check every last record. Seriously he would buy perhaps 30-40 CDs at a time. No one can listen to that many CDs before the next shopping trip i.e. the following saturday. He also made me spend an inordinate amount of time in comic shops that were full of nerds with BO.

  46. Dave Medlo Says:

    I saw this as headlines in one of the papers today, briefly contemplated reading it in the shop and quickly realised I didn’t give a flying fuck about Big Brother – not even in a ‘feeling-compelled-to-discuss-it-because-I-hate-it’ kind of way. It just doesn’t even register on my system.

    None the less, thanks for keeping us updated…

  47. Swineshead Says:

    Interesting. If it doesn’t register on your system, then why register indifference? It suggests you’re not indifferent.


  48. Who Says:

    If I recall Brian’s unfortunate incident correctly, you’re only in danger of reversing over yourself after eating ‘too many’ baked potatoes. But then how many is too many? Do you just keep shovelling them in until you’re squashed your foot all funny under the tyres? Not willing to risk it, me.

    *goes off to buy packet of Smash*

  49. Napoleon Says:

    He’s got you there.

  50. Swineshead Says:

    This post has given us the second highest traffic ever, weirdly enough.

  51. Clarry Says:

    Yesterday’s was pretty good wasn’t it?

  52. Clarry Says:

    Oh, traffic or comments….?

  53. Swineshead Says:

    Traffic – visitors.

    People passing through.

    Big Brother is seemingly still quite popular…

  54. Mikey Says: are going commercial mate! Chasing the ratings..It’s the slippery slide…….

  55. Swineshead Says:

    If I was going commercial I’d pull out all the stops, Mikey… there’s be dancing girls on the side of the screen giving out special offers and direct mailers to your door, don’t you worry about that.


  56. Mikey Says:

    I would be happy wih the dancing girls….

  57. HENRY DEAD Says:

    i haven’t watched big brother yet but i have heard bout Alex. I heard she beat up her best friend for going out with a boyfriend she didn’ like. Alex reminds me of me in a funny secret way. i’m a bit crazy 😉

  58. West End Wookie Says:

    holy jumping fuck. she has to be the most annoying person i have ever seen in my farking life.

  59. Badger Madge Says:

    I never thought of it as internet traffic before. Shit, maybe I should start blogging about BB…

    What a horrible girl though. The few times I’ve watched she’s been antagonising people. One time it was about chips. Just a nasty piece of work.

  60. goodbyetoallfat Says:

    Glad to hear she’s out. I haven’t watched for days. Was planning to watch Friday’s episode just to see whether she or Mario got evicted and now I don’t have to even watch that episode as Alex has already been booted out! Hoorah!

  61. extremelisteningmode Says:

    The woman is more evil than Hitler. Well, maybe not, but still.

  62. LAUREN Says:


  63. Joanne Says:


  64. bigtuna21 Says:

    I’d be thrilled if you put my blog on your blogroll. It’s an entertainment blog.


  65. Mikey Says:

    BUT ….bigtuna21….. you refer to Football as Soccer!

  66. HENRY DEAD Says:

    don’t wanna throw a curve ball but maybe this Alex lady is sexy in bed? i haven’t seen her on TV yet though so can’t really hypothesise too much…

    Joanne you can stick your punctutation issues up your arse.

  67. Swineshead Says:

    Henry Dead… I’m with Joanne – Lauren sounds like a retard. And your comment’s redundant.

    Moving on…

  68. Clarry Says:

    “BUT ….bigtuna21….. you refer to Football as Soccer!”

    And he probably pronounces his name big too-na 21….

    On the subject of BB.

    What about Alex being horrible to Rachel about the bloody spaghetti? I liked the way that everybody calmly ignored her, and contradicted each of her arguements in polite conversation.

    One scenario went something like:

    Alex – “Jenny go in that cupboard and tell me how much spaghetti there is in there.”

    Jenny – “There’s none left. Me, Rachel and Rex thought it was a good idea to cook it all, so people could help themselves.”

    Alex – “You cooked all the spaghetti? Even though I specifically said that I was cooking breakfast for everyone last night? God, people are so dumb.”

    Rachel – “Well you never said anything whilst we were doing it.”


    Alex – “Sorry Lisa breakfast has been messed up. They’ve cooked all the spaghetti even though I said since last monday that i’d cook breakfast. They’ve ruined the master plan.”

    Alex – Looks on disapprovingly. “That’s minging. Cooking all the spaghetti at once so people have to heat it up if they want it. People live like tramps. Cooking all the spaghetti when like 3 people want to eat it. People are so dumb”

    Rachel – “7 people want it, 7 people don’t.”

    *string of people come up for spaghetti on toast that is carefully rationed out*

    Dennis – “Can I have some of this spaghetti?”

    Rachel – ” Yes one slice of toast and 2 spoons of spaghetti each.”

    Rachel – “Is that hot enough for you?”

    Dennis – ” Yes that’s fine thanks.”

    ‘Member I told you.



  69. Swineshead Says:

    It was a bizarre spectacle, last night. Watching that awful little woman going out of her mind. I don’t think she has gangster friends. I doubt she has any friends.

  70. Clarry Says:

    I think the reaction of the other housemates was one of complete bewilderment and self-preservation. It was the same with Charlie last year. Nobody stands up to them because they are such monsters and never listen to a word anyone says. I couldn’t have been so calm.

    However, I was annoyed with Mario, Lisa and Luke as instead of commending Rachel for rising above the digs from Alex, they slagged her off for being too nice.

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