The Friday Question: TV’s Best Villain


Nick Cotton

Nasty Nick Cotton (R.I.P) from Eastenders was an ‘orrible piece of work. A racist bully who tried to poison his own Mum.

If you’re a sci fi fan then there’s always that twat Davros, rolling about in his demi-dalek wheelchair. What about that berk who tried to kill Gail off of Coronation Street? I hear he was a bit of a cad. I never watch it so I wouldn’t know.

Then there was Broadbent as Delboy’s nemesis in Only Fools in sitcom-land… Nasty Nick Bateman from Big Brother in reality TV world (though he wasn’t actually very nasty at all – just as thick as two short planks)… Gripper Stebson on kid’s TV…

Any more?

Who was television’s best villain?

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56 Responses to “The Friday Question: TV’s Best Villain”

  1. Napoleon Says:

    I’d say the greatest villain of all was Blakey off of On The Buses.

  2. Swineshead Says:

    Was he really a villain though? Only if Mr Mackay in Porrdige was… I’d say both had qualities you could relate to…

    We need out and out BASTARDS.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Yes – ‘porrdige’.

  4. Clarry Says:

    Sylar from Heroes is the most evil of TV villains, and has the most puncheable face. Is there an ‘e’ in that, i’m not sure…

  5. Swineshead Says:

    I can’t be doing with that Heroes rubbish… superheroes onscreen should last no longer than 90 minutes before the concept gets all knackered out. I tried to watch that Superman Returns the other day and switched off after an hour and a half – very poor.

  6. Clarry Says:

    Also, I know it’s not the point but don’t you think that Nick Cotton’s son Ashley looked EXACTLY like him, do you think he is his real life son?

  7. george Says:

    Do you mean genuine, god honest cunts? It has to go to the Sopranos’ Johnny ‘arse face’ Sack and Phil Leotardo. Johnny starts out OK in season one, but then swiftly turns into a ruthless, angry, self righteous dick as soon as Little Carmine dies, examine his feud with Ralphie if you don’t believe me.

    But he’s just a warm up act to the ultimate villain that is Phil, he’s petty, scheming, angry, self righteous. His two most villainous ‘cunt’ parts are forcing Tony to Kill his cousin (played by Steve Buscemi) as revenge for an ongoing feud, and murdering vito because he was a homosexual (and sticking a pool cue up his arse).

  8. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve never watched The Sopranos, now you mention it.

    As for Ashley in Eastenders, he was clearly picked on the basis od resemblance like Ricky’s son Liam – neither of them can act their way out of a paper bag.

  9. george Says:

    You should give it a whirl, SW, easily the best television show in (my at least) living memory.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    It’s like The Wire… the boxset sits there winking at me but I can’t be arsed to get involved.

  11. george Says:

    You’ve never seen the wire either? You owe it to yourself mate, they’re both very rewarding, they’re a bit more complex and harder to follow then stuff like CSI but it’s well worth the investment.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve seen episode one of the Wire and enjoyed it… might get stuck in this weekend…

  13. george Says:

    I can see Napoleon or someone coming along now and saying it’s crap and I should be ashamed… *cowers*

  14. george Says:

    You won’t be disappointed, though. Start at season 1, see the set up of the detail and stuff, it’s the best way to follow the plot.

  15. Napoleon Says:

    The Wire’s a load of crap and you should be ashamed of yourself, George.

    If Blakey’s not allowed, then I vote for Roy Brammel off of COPS. A right royal bastard, he was.

  16. Napoleon Says:

    Oh, and it’s ‘series 1’, not ‘season 1’. We’re not living in Dankee-Yoodle Land.

  17. Swineshead Says:

    I’d forgotten about that – bloody good show that COPS was. Is he the Post Office bloke now? How the mighty have fallen.

    I liked episode one, George. I have to say the hype puts me off though, as it did with Sopranos.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    I’ll go one further than NC – Season one is series one and two as it has about 12 episodes.

  19. Badger Madge Says:

    Andi Peters

  20. Swineshead Says:

    Andi Peters is apparently built like The Rock now – he’s been working out like a motherfucker by all accounts.

  21. Clarys Says:

    “Andi Peters is apparently built like The Rock now – he’s been working out like a motherfucker by all accounts.”

    I think it was for a magazine or something, I remember seeing the front cover in WHSmiths or something. It’s seriously disturbing to see a man you remember talking to fucking Ed the Duck looking ripped. Urgh.

    I can’t think of a good villain at the moment, and this thing is usually my forte, how irritating.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    COPS was fucking superb. In my opinion, the best police drama this country’s ever made; shame only about eight people watched it.

  23. Swineshead Says:


  24. Clarry Says:

    “If Blakey’s not allowed, then I vote for Roy Brammel off of COPS. A right royal bastard, he was.”

    He was BRILLIANT! He wasn’t a bastard, he was an old school copper, what played one lot of crims off against the others. I loved Cops, and when I say ‘God I loved Cops, me’, people always think I mean the Cops we was talking about the other day (Bad boys, bad boys. What you gonna do when they come for you?). Does anyone remember the part when Rok kicked the door down in that house and slipped in all dog dirts, which spread up his back?

  25. Clarry Says:


  26. Clarry Says:

    Sorry just read my message back – I seem to have become delerious having finished the mother of all reports…

  27. Clarry Says:

    Can we start a petition to have Cops shown on telly again?

  28. Napoleon Says:

    So allowing a lad to have the shit kicked out of him while Roy sits in his van listening to the radio makes him a good old fashioned copper, does it? Not in … oh, hold on …

  29. george Says:

    Q has to be the naffest ever villain to grace television.

  30. Napoleon Says:


  31. george Says:

    Star Trek.

  32. Swineshead Says:

    You’ve killed the debate with your geekiness again, George.

    Piqued raises an interesting question over here:

    What brand of pant is the best? Ladies or men can answer.

    I rather like Australia’s favourite, Bonds.

  33. george Says:

    I’m not a geek.

    Geeks are intelligent.

  34. Napoleon Says:

    M&S on the pant front.

  35. Dave Medlo Says:

    Al Swearengen – AKA Ian McShane AKA Lovejoy – in Deadwood… hardly anyone ever watched it so I’m not expecting a chorus of agreements but for my money it’s one of the greatest TV shows ever made and features an incredible villain in the form of the sweary, shouty, abusive and murdering son of a whore that is Swearengen.

  36. Napoleon Says:

    For once Medlo’s on the nose with his American shows. Deadwood was fucking excellent, and Lovejoy was bloody brilliant in it.

  37. george Says:

    Deadwood is ace.

  38. iamnotthebeatles Says:

    That woman who jumped out of plane in the very first episode in the first series of 24 gets my vote.
    After all, the airliner full of American’s then went on to crash in American airspace presumably killing all involved… and it was never even referred too again by anybody.

    Now that’s clever villainyship.

  39. piqued Says:

    Mmm, Hitler, he was a bit of a bastard. Him or John Leslie

  40. Swineshead Says:

    Wilfully missing the point there Piqued, sitting there in your sloggi pants. It’s not big and it’s certainly not clever.

  41. goodbyetoallfat Says:

    I think out of the soaps Corrie has had the best villains: Alan Bradley and Richard Hillman

    Aussie soaps: Joan “The Freak” Ferguson from Prisoner Cell Block H

    Reality TV: Katie Hopkins — intentionally, wittily, deliberately
    Unintentional: Charlie Uchea (“I’m not bein’ funny right, but ….”)

    Well those are my votes — feel free to annihilate in my absence — if I have time I will pop back later to see how the discussion is going.

  42. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Stalin, off of them history programmes.

  43. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Oh, Piqued already made that one. Fuck. I’VE BEEN BUSY, YEAH? Too busy to read all the comments.

  44. Napoleon Says:

    Busy? Is there such a thing as busy in the world of the student?

  45. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’ve got two jobs y’know.

  46. Napoleon Says:

    Have you arse. LIAR.

  47. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’m a bartender at one country manor hotel, and a snooty silver service waiter at another. Thank God I’m not an illustrator or cartoonist, eh?

  48. Napoleon Says:

    Bartender? Where’s this? New York?

  49. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Barman then. Git.

  50. Napoleon Says:

    That’s better, Poindexter.

  51. george Says:

    Sod that. John can be a bartender, and I’ll watch TV seasons on my laptop, in my yard decorated with allunimum, while chatting on my cell about a problem with my trunk.

  52. Joanne Says:

    George: As far as the Sopranos goes I thought Ralph Cifaretto was far more of a cunt than either Johnny Sack or Philly. He disrespected the Bing, kicked a pregnant stripper to death and is just generally a grade-A twat.

    The Sopranos: Best Show Ever.

    And if there was one thing I never, in all my life, wanted to see it was Andi Peters in his pants.

  53. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Grange Hill, Mr Bronosn. Pure, brooding evil. Utterly spellblindingly scary. And I am convinced he killed Danny Kendall. Smacked of a cover-up to me.

  54. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Ralphie was indeed an evil bastard. He also killed Pie-Oh-My.

  55. Joanne Says:

    Yeah, but Tony killed him for it so fair’s fair really.

  56. extremelisteningmode Says:

    True, justice is summarily dealt out in Sopranos land.

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