The Friday Question: Youtube it?


Bryony Matthewman (what sort of name is that?)  has been commissioned by the BBC for a series based on her Youtube exploits. Adam Buxton missed out on a MeeBox commission with sketches based on his Youtube archive because of the idiotic decision to make BBC3 a home for morons… As a result, WWM was thinking about the Youtube clips that might be ripe for a good old fashioned, six-parts-to-a-series fleshing out…

Maybe Fat Cat could have his own series on CBeebies, detailing his attempts to squeeze through small spaces.

That singing Korean guitar-child could perform the entire Beatles back catalogue in front of stunning backdrops – the Taj Mahal, Tower of London etc… with collaborations from Ringo and Macca.

What about firework-leg man in a series of 30 second shorts in which progressively larger fireworks, crackers, rockets, minor explosives and atom bombs are attached to his limbs till he’s nothing but a shrivelled, burned nub?

What Youtube sensation do you think has the legs to run and run?

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175 Responses to “The Friday Question: Youtube it?”

  1. Napoleon Says:

    I don’t know any YouTube sensations. I only ever look at the thing when I’m pissed, watching You Can Call Me Al over and over again.

  2. Swineshead Says:

    What about that French racing madman you sent me?

  3. Napoleon Says:

    Oh, I forgot about that! Yes, now, I could see that guy having at least a ‘challenge’ insert on Top Gear. Could he get through Rome at rush hour awithout breaking his neck? Judge for y’selves, folks …

  4. Napoleon Says:

    The Rome thing there would be a new challenge, obviously. In the original, he’s tearing through Paris.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    He’s an idiot that bloke. I think all cars should be BANNED.

  6. Swineshead Says:

  7. Napoleon Says:

    All cars shouldn’t be banned, that’s just daft. You daft beggar.

    And there’s nothing like a spot of animal cruelty to start your day, eh?

  8. Swineshead Says:

    I know – what a twat that kitten juggler is. He deserves a knee (mine) in his bollocks.
    Did you read about that registrar woman who doesn’t have to do gay marriages because of her beliefs, by the way?

    It’s a disgrace.

    I shouldn’t have to answer the phone at work, because of my ‘beliefs’.

    *instigates industrial tribunal*

  9. Von Says:

    2 Girls 1 Cup – the series.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    Now that is a bloody great idea.
    They could poop in a variety of cups in different locations – and the final puke splash down could be done into a celebrity guest. Week One – Nigel Havers.

  11. Napoleon Says:

    I ‘believe’ God has put me on this earth to live in an enormous mansion house with loads of naked twenty year olds, spending my days shooting stuff, gambling, and drinking. This is what I ‘believe’ … so who do I go to to sort this out for me?

  12. george Says:

    You’ve got to love Christians in this country, Napoleon, and how they harp on about how poor Christians are terribly persecuted in this country where Christianity is the national religion, its representatives get unelected positions in the second house, the head of state is also the head of a Christian sect, where the Prime Minister has to be a certain kind of Christian and the national anthem is an extended Christian prayer.

    But if a Muslim girl wants to wear a jilbab that’s, you know, kind of imperative to wear in her religion, then she gets bullied in the tabloids and told to go somewhere they allow them.

  13. george Says:

    That woman who doesn’t want to take part in gay civil partnerships is the best, basically, we have to be tolerant of her intolerance. Littlejohn was championing that cause as well, from his fortified mansion in Flordia, the arse.

  14. Napoleon Says:

    George – Wearing a jilbab isn’t imperative to her religion, and that girl was a mouthy, stroppy teenager who needed a clip round the ear, not a court case. You may be unaware of my stance on children and their ‘rights’, so let’s just say it borders on Victorian. The cheeky fucking bitch.


  15. Swineshead Says:

    Wearing any religious clothing at work is fine by me… crucifix, tibetan monk’s gown, whatever. So long as you can still do the job and don’t mind looking like a brainwashed drone.

    Saying ‘I can’t marry some of the people you want me to marry because I’m stuck in the dark ages’ is a bit different to that. Is she going to do half the work of her peers? The bloody idiot.

  16. Swineshead Says:

    PS – George – your article WILL go up… I forgot it’s Friday today.

  17. george Says:

    I thought it was? Religiously imperative I mean, you know, there’s a bit of the book that says it and if you believe the Qu’ran is the literal word of God then you won’t get to paradise unless you follow it to the T, but you can see the book as a historical document and still be a practicing Muslim, like gay Christians.

    Still, don’t blame me when you get mugged by a loveable gang of Victorian street scallions then, NP.

  18. george Says:

    Heh, I assumed you meant Monday anyway SH because of the Friday question. It’s cool.

  19. Napoleon Says:

    George – I haven’t the text to hand, but if memory serves, the Koran doesn’t say women have to be dressed from head to toe in linen with only their faces showing. It says both sexes must dress modestly. Crackpot Islamic scholars, scared to death of their own penises, impose ridiculous rubbish such as the jilbab and the burkha on the religion’s females, not their book. After all, we wouldn’t want a holy man to get an erection, would we? Hypocrites, the lot of ’em.

  20. Swineshead Says:

    There’s nothing wrong with being scared silly by your own penis.

  21. Mikey Says:

    Freedom of expression and freedom of speech is a fundamental tenet of our liberal democratic society whether one agrees with an opinion or not. From this laws and the social framework are derived. Any perceived hypocrisy or difference of opinion is part of the process. Where I think we go wrong is the polarisation of opinion rather than trying to find concensus.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    There is when religions use it as the basis for repression. It seems to go, ‘You’re tits excite me, cover those tits’. Making it appear it’s the woman’s fault. A similar trick was played out here in the Middle Ages where women were seen as devil-sent distractions for men. The Islamic world – which is currently hovering around the 1450s – might one day catch up and realise you can’t blame the birds for your own pent-up sexual frustrations.

    Bit serious that, sorry.

  23. Swineshead Says:

    Is the right to slur gay people freedom of speech? Or is it actually ignorance in action?

    We don’t let the BNP broadcast party political advertorials because their beliefs are offensive so why should that woman be allowed to disown half her job?

  24. Napoleon Says:

    Mikey – Is that so? OK, then. I think I’ll express myself by raping someone tonight, then I’ll use my freedom of speech to teach four year old that black people are sub-humans. I’m glad I’ve got your wafer-thin, five minute philosophies to guide me through this ker-azy journey we call life.

    Oh, and I must remember to get me a woman to cook my dinner.

  25. Swineshead Says:

    Women cook dinners, men wash cars. You can’t break with tradition.

  26. Mikey Says:

    Napoleon, you missed the point that I said “From this laws and the social framework are derived”. Thus society says it is not right to do this.

  27. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’d shit all over that baby in a guitar competition. And not metaphorically, either.

  28. Mikey Says:

    But an anarchist argument would suggest that it is the exact laws and governance that create the terrible things that you mention. Man left to his own devices would live in harmony.

  29. Swineshead Says:

    Christ Mikey – are you reading from a sociology dissertation or something?

    JQW – haven’t seen you about in a while…

  30. Napoleon Says:

    And that blasts your own argument out of the water. You said freedom of expression and freedom of speech IS a fundamental tenet of our liberal society, not WAS. That they’re not is evidenced by the fact you can’t express yourself by fucking a dog up the arse on national television.

    What other plattitudes have you got for us? Smile on me brother, try to love one another right now? I’d like to teach the world to sing? What we need is a great big melting pot?

    Too black ‘n’ white, Mikey. Far too black ‘n’ white.

  31. Swineshead Says:

    ‘Too black ‘n’ white, Mikey. Far too black ‘n’ white.’

    That’s racist. I think.

  32. Napoleon Says:

    You’d shit on that baby. A fine example of freedom of expression.

  33. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Man left to his own devices would live in harmony? Maybe if it was man singular. Otherwise he’d be too busy raping, murdering and generally killing all up da peoples for any of that harmony nonsense. Harmony’s an evolved fing innit. You don’t get harmony if you can’t play an instrument, you don’t get harmony if you don’t make an effort, man.

    That lecture brought to you by the wino behind the bins behind Tesco.

  34. Napoleon Says:

    Is that racist?

    *looks in Swineshead’s Guide To Racist Things You Didn’t Even Realise were Racist*

    Hmm … I can’t find it.

  35. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    And yes, I’ve been stupidly busy with work. I did an 80 hour week last week.

  36. Napoleon Says:

    So what? Do you want a fucking medal, Wagonwheel? Welcome to the real world, Scooby Doo.

    Bloody students, etc. etc.

  37. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    A medal would be nice, thanks. Can I get fries with that?

    Layabout illustrators…

  38. george Says:

    NP: I’m 90% sure it’s in there (remember the bible also tells us to stone people who work on a Sabbath).

    I remember asking a genuine 100% Muslim woman about it. She also told me the bit about the ’77 virgins’ thing been absolute crap, and that the Qu’ran forbids suicide, in an interesting digression, that’s something that’s peddled by middle eastern Islamic scholars that just so happen to want you to go blow your self up.

    I completely agree with you about the reasoning behind it though, making women to blame for the desires of men. It’s the same as Christians who have to wear a chastity ring (strangely always the girls).

  39. Napoleon Says:

    Layabout? Up yours. I’ve had to work dead ‘ard (for a bit) recently, I have.

  40. george Says:

    Actually, anybody want to offer any insight into if the following joke is racist? Q: What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre.

  41. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You mean you’ve had to sacrifice 10 extra minutes of arse-scratching time, 4 of navel contemplation and 2 of inspecting your pocket fluff to draw another cartoon of a rockstar doing something ironic?

    Oh, yeah, that sounds like hard work. LAYABOUT!

  42. Swineshead Says:

    Difficult one George… but being the diehard, confused liberal that I am, I’m chalking you down on the ‘Most Racist List’ along with everyone else who comments or writes on here. Don’t worry, you’re nowhere near the pinnacle… Dave’s never leaving that top spot by the looks of things.

  43. Napoleon Says:

    George – It’s not in there. It’s an interpretation from a command by a wandering prophet that people in the fifteenth century should dress modestly. I imagine it stems from the fact that the Arab world was a saucy place before a religious misery-guts came along and disapproved of it. Saying to people God had told him this added a bit of weight to his argument back in those days. No fucking evidence, o’course.

  44. george Says:

    I get up to work ten minutes before I go to bed, have to pay the mines to work there, and then go home and get beaten by my father senseless and I thought I was lucky. If you told kids today, they’d never believe you.

  45. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    True, Dave is sickeningly racist.

  46. Mikey Says:

    I am not putting forward a particular argument. That’s my point. All i am saying is the framwork of liberal democracy (whether it is a good or a bad thing) allows for freedom of speech and whilst George may find the viewpoint hypocritical re Christians etc, all I wanted to say is that it is better to have valid opinions so that they can be discussed and refined. The tabloid press however are masters of moral panic and hidden enemies within which creates suspicion and polarised views.

    “What other plattitudes have you got for us”?

    One race, the human race!

  47. Napoleon Says:

    Wagonwheel – I’ll have you know, you traitor, that I’ve drawn a comic strip, two illustrations and written an article in the last week. Alright, when you write it down it doesn’t sound much, but believe me, it was ‘ard work.

  48. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    All by your selfsies? WEW DUN!

  49. Napoleon Says:

    Mikey – Power to the people, man. It’s nice to get visits from time-travellers from the 60s.

  50. george Says:

    NP: That sounds like the most likely situation, I agree. Considering I’ve not so much as a seen a Qu’ran I can’t really comment! SH: I’m in two minds. The humour on the joke relies on the different meanings of the word rhymes, not on any inferentially racist principles, but then again I get the feeling if I walked up to Dre and called him black he wouldn’t be too pleased.

  51. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well not only have I had to work 60 hours so far this week, I’ve got to practise up a shiteload of organ music because I’m getting paid by the Catholics to play the service at the local. So that’s a Handel keyboard suite, a Mozart motet, 4 hymns and a Bach Prelude in Fugue from the well tempered clavier. Rather a lot to polish up by Saturday evening. Plus I’m working immediately after the service 7pm-1am. I am one busy mo’fucker, Napoleon. Take it.

  52. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Well I’ve read the Qu’ran, read and speak Arabic and have studied Islamic history for 2 years and it’s nowhere near as clear cut as any of you make out. SO THERE. Now I’m going to bugger off and have a shower then practise me music before you can ask me to explain.

  53. Mikey Says:

    “It’s nice to get visits from time-travellers from the 60s”.

    Actually a very prescient comment!

  54. Napoleon Says:

    George – In a fatuous attempt to make myself appear clever, I read the whole fucking lot of ’em – the Koran, the Bible, the Tibetan Book of the Dead, etc. All stuff ‘n’ nonsense, but it does help in a completely pointless argument on religious dogma.

  55. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It really does. They’re all pretty fucking boring though.

  56. Napoleon Says:

    Wagonwheel – Your mindless interpretation of the Koran isn’t needed here, thanks. And as for this work? Big deal. You’re playing a keyboard in between serving some drinks. Hardly coal-mining, is it?

  57. Mikey Says:

    JQW do you play classical music? I am a recent convert to Bach (in the last 3 years or so) and love the “The Well Tempered Clavier”. I always go for Glenn Gould renditions.

  58. Napoleon Says:

    ‘Kin ‘ell! Bach? The Koran? Can’t we get back to the size of some celebrity’s arse or something?

  59. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I do indeed, not bothered with my diploma yet, but I got through all the grades a few years ago and now do the odd concert etc.. Yes, the Gould versions are standard now, he’s a bit conservative with the pace sometimes though.

  60. Napoleon Says:

    Posh git.

  61. Mikey Says:

    JQW is correct in saying that it is not clearcut. Remember there are divisions within Islam as in Christianity. Sufism is interesting, and also the books by Tim Mackintosh Smith and his experiences in Yemen.

  62. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Not posh to play good music.

  63. george Says:

    Mini Me has a sex tape out. It’s probably better then Goldmember.

  64. Mikey Says:

    Napoleon go out and buy yourself a Bach CD. The journey will begin….!

  65. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    His concerto for 4 pianos is always a laugh to play.

  66. Napoleon Says:

    Mikey – The word of God is clear-cut, that’s the point. It’s not open to interpretation …

    … and then it’s interpreted anyway, and the next thing you know you’ve got holy wars, public stonings, mass executions, torures chambers and women walking around looking through letterboxes. Great stuff, yer religions.

  67. Napoleon Says:

    Torures? Christ almighty.

  68. Mikey Says:

    The point is it is open to interpretation.

  69. george Says:

    The word of God is pretty clear. If you don’t believe in his infinite love, you’re sentenced to an eternity in Hell. Guess which mulleted, chain smoking son of a Baptist said that.

  70. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


  71. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    (I mean, he said it just now, it was quite an easy one.)

  72. Mikey Says:

    Great film that I tend to watch once in a while is “Dogma”.

  73. george Says:

    Chesney Hawks.

  74. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Dogma is less awful than most Kevin Smith films. Shame it had Ben Affleck in it though.

  75. Napoleon Says:

    “The point is it is open to interpretation.”

    Really? And who told you this? God? And here was me thinking a supposedly all-knowing super-being’s words weren’t to be fucked with. Obviously you live in a far more liberal world than the one God inhabits as he rampages his way through the holy books. If He exists, good luck with explaining to Him how you took it on yourself to read shit into what the big guy said.

    George – The Catholics don’t believe that, for a start.

  76. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    They don’t, and I don’t believe in them. They’re still paying me 8 quid a hymn though.

  77. Swineshead Says:

    Dogma’s shit. See also: All Kevin Smith films that aren’t called Clerks.

  78. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Jersey Girls made me want to hurt myself.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    I agree with Swineshead on that one. I can’t see what the fuss is all about.

  80. george Says:

    Clerks II? I quite liked that, mainly for his LOTR rant, the porch monkey bit, and in spite of the fact that 2/3rds of it was bollocks.

  81. Napoleon Says:

    Clerks II was shit.

  82. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Clerks is the only one of his that I would term ‘ok’. With the rest it’s like being forced to eat a shit but getting to choose which consistency and colour of shit you eat. But no matter which shit you eat, it’s going to have a mouldy bit of carrot in it in the form of Jay and Silent Bob, the World’s Most Desperate Trans-Film Characters.

  83. Mikey Says:

    Don’t the prophets (of all the mono theistic religions) interpret God’s words? Is that not what Priests and Mullahs and Rabbi’s do?

  84. Napoleon Says:

    Some woman’s just said on the telly, ‘What do your guests see when they walk through your front door?’ In my case, that would be dog piss stains, rotten leaves and dead insects.

  85. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    And possibly you. The poor fuckers.

  86. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I guess it beats ‘A heap of other dead guests with all axes in their heads.’

  87. Napoleon Says:

    “Don’t the prophets (of all the mono theistic religions) interpret God’s words? Is that not what Priests and Mullahs and Rabbi’s do?”

    The prophets don’t, no. They’re given the word of God, and write it down (away from the prying eyes of witnesses, of course). Then, usually based on necessities such as becoming rich or oppressing people, mullahs and priests and rabbis interpret these words to suit their own agendas. None of the three great books contain this caveat:

    This is the word of God. The word of God is final … mind you, if you don’t like it, you can always change it a bit, yeah? – God.

  88. Napoleon Says:

    Wagonwheel – I blame that cancerous monstrosity upstairs, He’s got a 17 year old dog that can’t quite make it into the garden. Instead it pisses in the communal hallway, the little bugger. Stinks of piss out there, it does.

  89. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    You should stove its head in with a spade and then try to hide the body, but almost be caught at every turn. That’s the stuff that lukewarm-tea-british-comedies are made of.

  90. Napoleon Says:

    I don’t want to stove a dog’s head in. I would kick a cat up the arse, mind.

  91. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    How’s that coming along?

  92. george Says:

    Somebody in my Halls once did a shit in the communal hallway.

  93. Napoleon Says:

    Nearly caught the bugger the other day, but again it slipped out of the way of the mighty Boot of Justice. I threw a Calippo at it on Sunday, but it was so damn fast it was off and away before the lolly had hit the wall. They’re like flies in this respect.

  94. Napoleon Says:

    “Somebody in my Halls once did a shit in the communal hallway.”

    I was at a bus stop a couple of months ago and there were some students moaning that someone had been sick in their communal hallway a few weeks before and it was still there and stinking up the place. My first thought was, ‘Well why don’t you clean it up then, you bone-idle shitwits?”

  95. Mikey Says:

    Literature, music and art are all interpretations too!

  96. Napoleon Says:

    “Literature, music and art are all interpretations too!”

    No, they’re things, Mikey. Stuff. Bits ‘n’ bobs. This ‘n’ that. Forms. Pieces. Odds ‘n’ sods, etc.

  97. Mikey Says:

    Interpretations and reflections with varying degrees of insight and rigeur!

  98. george Says:

    That’s proper student, NP. The girl that lived with my friend in his second and third year was a right pig, never washed up, all that crap, he kept on finding her undercrackers strewn all over the living room. He went back for the second year summer, thinking she might have washed up her stuff; she hadn’t, instead she found it easier to get into a dispute with a landlord because he wouldn’t provide her with a pack of brillo pads to clean up with. She left the house in the third year and tried to sue the landlord because, after not cleaning her room for a year and a half, she found mice in her room. Having said that, my house was a sty.

  99. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Erm, yes. Criticisms, i.e. this place ‘ere wot you is doing is interpretation.

  100. Swineshead Says:

    Going back to the original post – Youtube?

  101. Napoleon Says:

    What a delightful-sounding lady, George. She no doubt now serves tricks down at the docks for tuppence ha’penny a time, the scratter.

    I visited a friend of mine when he was at university, and he said I could bed down in his room. It turned out I would be sleeping next to a mountain of used underpants and socks. His trick, it transpired, was to wear ’em for a few weeks, then throw them on the pile and go out and buy (steal) more. There were two year’s worth of skanky pants and cardboard socks in that heap – a heap that was right next to my fucking head. I’m surprised I’ve still got a full head of hair.

  102. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’m surprised as well, implants?

  103. Napoleon Says:

    Implants be-damned, you cheeky little sod. Let’s see how much hair you’ve got when you hit thirty three, shall we?

    Now, YouTube. I like the fact it looks like Chevy Chase is singing when it is, in fact, Paul Simon. Clever, eh? They knew their onions in the 80s.

  104. Louche Says:

    Stewie the Anteater should get his own TV show

  105. george Says:

    God, NP, that sounds bloody awful. Reminds me of the dicks that used to shop lift from the Asian store across from halls (because they disagreed with the capitalist economy, obviously, not that they were dicks), complaining they had no money, both their rent and fees paid by parents, mind, and do a lot of cocaine. Oh, when they weren’t doing this they sat around with the required reading for their peace studies course wondering why the rest of the world didn’t see things their way. People wondered why I hung around with metalheads…

  106. Napoleon Says:

    The dog looked a bit left out.

  107. Napoleon Says:

    They disagreed with the capitalist economy, eh? Reminds me of a bunch of shitwits I used to talk to in a cafe I used to own. They sat around all day smoking roll-ups, complaining about how much they hated the state, and that it should be brought down, man. They didn’t seem to mind the bit of the state that paid their rent, their bills and gave them free money every other week. That bit of the state was alright, apparently.

    One word – WORKHOUSE.

  108. Louche Says:

    Napoleon, yeah so I’d imagine they would make it into some sort of sit-com with the dog being the angry character.

    Also what is that Paul Simon song about? I’ve not really listened to the lyrics before but now I’m confused. Is it a song about Mercenaries?

  109. george Says:

    I can’t think of a single youtube clip, that’s not based on some other media. Maybe the emo kids who’s video blogs involve crying about the system. They could get a tv show.

  110. Napoleon Says:

    Louche – I’d watch the ‘Dog Wanna Bit O Anteater’s Cream’ show. I am surprised to see an anteater in a house, mind. They look to make quite endearing pets.

    I haven’t the faintest idea what You Can Call Me Al’s about. A warning against getting fat? I only liked it because I grew up in the 80s and Chevy Chase was the VHS King.

  111. george Says:

    Bad side of the student experience, kids slum it for three years and now think they’re the voice of the common people. One of the trendier indie clubs in Leeds always used to play common people at the close, and the sight of artfully dressed kids sipping from Peroni bottles singing along to ‘you will never understand, how it feels to live your life, with no meaning or control, and with nowhere else to go,’ used to churn my stomach. Remember one kid saying to me ‘it’s so true man, all this song, because when you leave university you have to work and it’s like not supposed to be,’ created such a wave of irony that the dimension of reality crashed around us, summoning bekklshammarahghth, a beast from the dungeon dimensions, that ripped us all a new arsehole.

  112. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve just been sick reading that, George. When I briefly went to university, I behaved like Henry VIII.

  113. george Says:

    It’s one reason I ended up moving back to Northampton. I enjoyed been a student in Leeds, but there was way too much self loving bullshit.

  114. george Says:

    NP: Eating lots of food, hanging your wives, or inventing a new offshoot of Christianity?

  115. Napoleon Says:

    I was too busy eating vast quantities of steak to worry about self-love. I went to university for three reasons:

    Quality Beef Steak

    Apparently there was learning to be had, but I wasn’t concerned with that bit.

  116. Napoleon Says:

    “Eating lots of food, hanging your wives, or inventing a new offshoot of Christianity”

    Steak, didn’t hang anyone (tied a couple of ’em up, mind), didn’t break with Rome.

  117. george Says:

    NP, did you ever think about whoring yourself out for steak / cash? There’s always drunken students scared because they’re not getting laid enough.

  118. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    Burnt Face Man is always a favourite. Hitchen’s Vanity Fair stuff is great too. Other than that, anything to do with 9/11, Zionist banking corporations and our 2012 Mayan demise. Brill.

  119. Napoleon Says:

    I didn’t need to whore m’self, George. Unlike the other wastrels at university, I got a job on a magazine and, with my grant, my loan, and the money I swindled from the banks, I was rolling around in money like a pig in shit. For one brief period of my life, I had the birds fallin’ over ’emselves to gain access to the King’s chamber. You can’t turn down a free steak dinner, not when you’re a student, and that’s what I was offering. Glory days.

  120. Napoleon Says:

    Anything to do with 9/11?

  121. george Says:

    seconded burnt face man. and salad fingers, infact he should just be given his own channel.

  122. george Says:

    Are you a crime-inal? Criminal?

  123. Napoleon Says:

    A criminal?

  124. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    BP- Yes. Don’t try and pin me down as a facist, or a nazi – I simply find debate surrounding conspiracy interesting. Arse.


  125. Napoleon Says:

    B-Boi – A fascist OR a Nazi, eh? Hmmm … which to choose? Fascist … Nazi … fascist … Nazi …

    I’m going for Nazi, I think. Yes. B-Boi, you’re a fucking Nazi.

  126. badgermadge Says:

    *shuffles in*

    I liked Dogma…

    *shuffles out again*

  127. Swineshead Says:

    Alanis Morrisette as God? I won’t have it.

  128. Napoleon Says:

    A woman? What? Where’s Mikey when you need him?

  129. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    Morgan Freeman’d have something to say about it too.

    A Canadian God? An oxymoron, to be sure.

  130. Mikey Says:

    Yes “Dogma” is very good and has to be watched more than once.

  131. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    Dogma backwards is Am God. That means I am God.

  132. Napoleon Says:

    Dogma’s not good, B-Boi’s not God, and God’s British – everyone knows that.

  133. Mikey Says:

    it’s also an anangram of go mad.

  134. Napoleon Says:

    Or ‘ogdam’ … oooo … coincidence? I don’t fucking think so.

  135. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    Al Lucard is Dracula backwards. Fact.

  136. piqued Says:

    Noelopan Tiwkcuf is NC backwards. Fact

  137. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    Talking about YouTube, which is what we should be talking about, you disrespecful rabble – OK GO should be shot. In the face. Via their mothers left toe.

  138. george Says:

    I like that little dancing video. Were you insulted by it’s non Aryan sensibilities?

  139. Swineshead Says:

    I agree with george – that WAS an entertaining video. It made people of all creeds and colours unite. I suspect that’s what irked you about it B-Boi.

  140. Napoleon Says:

    What was? Dancing people? What’s going on?

  141. B-Boi Gregory Who's a Complete Arse Says:

    I don’t understand why you would accuse a B-Boi, me, of being racial. If I was a fat, opaque-skinned lard of a Nazi like Dave I’d see your point, as it stands you look foolish, foolish even beyond the WANK on this BLOG – you arse Swineshead, you homophobic, beast straddling, gypsie hunting ARSE.


  142. Napoleon Says:

    Word? What word? What’s going on?

  143. Swineshead Says:

    The WANK on this BLOG that you’ve tried, in vain, to be heard on… everyone thinks you’re an arse, sir. So would you fuck off please?

  144. Napoleon Says:

    Hey! Not everyone thinks he’s an arse, Swineshead! I think he’s a dimwitted laggard.

  145. Mikey Says:

    “It made people of all creeds and colours unite”.
    Careful Swines, that might qualify as a platitude and thus offend Napoleon. Where is this video I want to see it…?

  146. Napoleon Says:

    I’m not offended by creeds ‘n’ colours uniting, you feckless twit. I’m offended by a cat wot keeps shitting all over my already shit-riddled garden. The shithouse.

  147. badgermadge Says:

    Oooh oooh, who were that band that did that running machine video. I liked that. But not sure how it’d make a series.

    *shuffles out never to be seen again*

  148. Napoleon Says:

    Running machine video? Did it have Chevy Chase in it? Chevy Chase and Paul Simon? If so, I might be able to help you out, Badger.

  149. Swineshead Says:

    That was Ok Go, Badger, as below:

  150. B-Boi Gregory - the tiresome twat Says:

    Thank you, Napolean, for your support, you repetitive, boring-as-sin crayoner. You can peel a banana but it’d still be a banana, afterall.

  151. Swineshead Says:


  152. B-Boi Gregory who is resolutely unfunny Says:

    Do you mean ‘You Can Call Me Al’. Al Lucard, which is Dracula backwards, no less. Fact. Huh?

  153. george Says:

    Yes, and you can complain about a person or a blog all you want but the fact you’re still here to complain voids said complaints and makes you look like an attention seeking tit.

  154. Napoleon Says:

    Well that’s me telt. So, B-Boi (GREAT name there, by the way – amazing how the mentally retarded can still pick letter shapes from a barrel and arrange them on a plastic tray into a name for ’emselves, bless), where can I see the magnificence of your work? Y’know, so I can compare my boring and repetitive crayoning skills to your superior talents? Where can I be exposed to your genius, B-Boi? McDonald’s, Burger King, or KFC?

    Oh, and make those fries large, yeah?

  155. B-Boi Gregory, a poor excuse for a troll Says:

    LOL! I SEE WOT U DID! hehe…Arse.

  156. piqued Says:

    That OK.GO vid was totally unrehearsed and spontaneous

  157. george Says:

    Piqued: Hey! Get get get get get over it. *snigger*

  158. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued… must’ve taken them ages to get it down pat, eh? I think it’s quite impressive myself.

  159. Napoleon Says:

    Are you sure you saw what I did there, B-Boi? Easy on the salt, there’s a good boy.

  160. Napoleon Says:

    That OK Go thing looks like that advert for a dietary supplement.

  161. Mikey Says:

    This “ok go2 is the video that unites people of colour creed etc?

  162. Napoleon Says:

    Is that teh uniting video? Oh, I didn’t realise that. Does that mean my last comment was racist? I get confused as there’s so many bloody levels to racism on ‘ere.

  163. Napoleon Says:

    Teh? Teh?

  164. Swineshead Says:

    I was slightly overstating the uniting thing. Apologies.

  165. Mikey Says:

    There I was ready to start the summer of love…….

  166. B-Boi Gregory Says:

    I like RHCP videos. They make me feel all warm and fuzzy about our diverse society. The Rockstar fing’s brill too! Cos itz gotz stereotypes all rockin’ and chilling within a previously racist, biker-clad genre! YAY!

  167. Napoleon Says:

    Summer? Remind me what that is again?

  168. piqued Says:

    It’s a brilliant video; I believe they all come from Space

    It’s summer down here NC, that’s all you need to know. Do you have the motor car in your neck of the all just fields yet?

  169. Napoleon Says:

    “Well there goes summer then, it’s been pissing it down solidly since the wee hours, It’s still doing it now, the selfish bastard.” – Piqued, from his awful blog.

    It was summer up here when you wrote that. I think we may be taking it in turns.

    Oh, and you’re a shitwit, by the way.

  170. Napoleon Says:

    “It’s been like Blade Runner down here for the past few days, permanent fucking rain but without flying vehicles, video posters of oriental girls taking drugs and Harrison Ford, actually… no, definitely without Harrison Ford.” – Piqued, from his dreadful blog.

    I think I got sunburn that day.

  171. Mikey Says:

    today has been sunny and warmish, windy, overcast, cold, wet and now I think a storm is on it’s way.

  172. piqued Says:

    That was the 2 bad days we’ve had, yes

    It’s the weekend now, it’s sunny and I’m off

    Be good

  173. Napoleon Says:


  174. Swineshead Says:

    At least he updates his blog occasionally, unlike some people.

  175. Mikey Says:

    That program last night “The Qu’ran” was very interesting.

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