Dragons’ Den – 28.7.08


I think we can confidently say that long before yesterday’s show, Meaden twigged that she is desired by not one, but all of the Dragons.

Obviously the real battle for Debs is between Theo and Jonesy and, since the mahogany-skinned makeover and the lovely hair-do, Debs has proved she is more than up to micro-managing a love triangle. Last night saw her assertive and prickly nature reach boiling point in the early stages before she settled into a brooding, menacing sensuality for the rest of the show, watching the boys run rings around one another, all desperate to impress the Debsmeister.

Let’s jump in. Once the opening credits were out of the way it was time to get down to business. And by ‘business’ I mean REAL business, conducted in the business world by business men and business women. And Dragons, obviously. It is a tough and fickle world, the business world. Just ask Samantha from Manchester who went up first in front of the reptilian bastards.

She was trying sell them a strange idea based around home security. A little box with motion sensors would make a fake TV turn on whenever it was triggered, fooling hapless burglars (who obviously would never have heard of such technology) and scaring them into doing a runner. It was a dumb idea, already trumped by the fact that you can get those mains-timer things on the market to make your lamps and electrical goods switch on and off whilst you sip cocktails in Aberwystwyth. Debs stepped right up with her critique, safe in the knowledge that all the Dragons possessed a twitching semi with her name on it. She declared herself out swiftly and effectively. Theo managed to find out that this dotty trembler already owns a successful business so the general response was ‘stick to the restaurant, we’re out’.

Next up, the Sinclair C5 of rollerblades as one Dragon put it. Pedal-powered skates that looked too much like hard work and failed to inspire anyone. Theo had a go as he knows what makes good telly, stumbling about on these monstrosities for laughs. All he needs is a pencil thin moustache and some round-framed spectacles and he’d make a great silent movie comedy-hero. Anyway, they all opted out. I’d have opted out too – that kind of rubbish reminds me of the imbecilic berks you see in Central London roller-blading, skateboarding or even tin-scootering down the middle of a busy dual lane in rush hour traffic.

Clive was up next with his opportunity to join him in a venture he called DiamondGeezer.com (I’ll not include a link unless he pays me for advertising). This was essentially a retail website selling posh-rocks. His manner wasn’t particularly endearing despite the potential in his venture. And to add to his woes, Meaden, cushioned by the certainty that all in the Den hold a blue-veined baton with her name on it, screamed that Clive’s been in touch with her before which is AGAINST THE RULES. She was out immediately, bless her. Bannatyne then rather unfairly laid into Clive with a stream of disconnected questions. He was oot.

But then Clive’s luck changed and the other three opted in for a 40% stake. 30%, countered Clive. The Dragon’s did not waver and Clive idiotically turned down the offer on a business which is currently only making him three hundred quid per calender month.

Greetings cards for dogs, one would think, is the preserve of batty old eccentrics. And ol’ Debs proved this to be true by admitting her horses, cats and dogs all receive christmas gifts. More money than sense. The rest of the Dragons, like us right-thinking folk, thought it was ludicrous and kicked it out of the Den.

Impact Items went next with their Space Putty. The boffin who’d created this stuff had dyed his hair and goatee purple, thinking this was a surefire way to secure investment. In the event he got laughed out of the room. Probably a good thing, as I had a sneaking feeling I’d seen this putty stuff before. And I had.

On the theme of kids’ stuff, the next pitcher was asking for trouble with his sinister notion. Tokens kids have to earn through good behaviour in order to buy TV, DVD and PS3 time struck me as being completely unethical. One of the great joys of being a child, though we don’t realise it at the time, is to be completely free of money-worries. Those decisions are made for you so you’re free to kill ants, hang around in abandoned houses and go foraging for pornography in bushes. Why any parent would want to introduce a complex system of capitalism in their own parlour is beyond me and was beyond Bannatyne who told this chap he hopes he fails. Harsh, but probably fair. Jonesy said it wasn’t a bad idea – it was ridiculously mad. Add to the fact the guy could have financed it himself and it seems we had a bit of a slippery snake on our hands. And he seemed so nice…

The apple juice lolly that followed looked tasty, was healthy and was already selling well. But as it was 100% apple juice, packaged tastefully and completely inoffensive, it obviously wasn’t cost-effective. Quality rarely is these days. So everyone was out.

The penultimate item was an illuminated Baby On Board sign which, sadly, was unreadable during the day. So one presumes you’re meant to stick the Baby On Board sign that lights up next to the Baby On Board sign that can be seen in daylight. Weird. Jonesy used this as a platform to mock Baby On Board signs in general, which I reluctantly agreed with him on. They are bloody stupid, when you think about it. Jonesy, sensing he had everyones’ attention, also had a pop at an enthusiastic Bannatyne with ‘when was the last time you drove anywhere in the last 20 years?!’. ‘Fair point’, responded a humbled Dunc.

So – lastly we saw some girl who appeared to have stepped out of the Grazia magazine my missus left in the toilet. She was after money for her venture which went by the dreadful name ‘Neurotica’. She wanted to make fashion for the leading high street stores and was already making headway in the area. Unfortunately, like the apple lolly people, she was only just breaking even. Peter Jones broke all the rules and offered more money than she was asking for in a twist that left a bit of a bad taste in the mouth, from where I was standing.

Jonesy’s always trying to be the cool one. Whether it’s his dalliances with Levi Roots, his foray into publishing with the nauseating rag Wonderland, trying to rock out with Hamfatter or this adventure in fashion, he wants to be a scenester.

Well, sorry Pete. You’re a seven-foot corporate tit who does crap ads for BT and sits in Simon Cowell’s pocket. You’re about as far removed from the notion of ‘cool’ as it’s possible to be, so leave that stuff to Bannatyne – the beating heart of Dragon sophistication. In a couple of weeks time, Meaden will see the error of her ways and lurch towards Dunc’s inimitable, brusque stylings – mark my words.

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115 Responses to “Dragons’ Den – 28.7.08”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    And… we’re back.

  2. Napoleon Says:

    When Jones invested in that lovely looking girl at the end of the show, I turned to my other half and sais, ‘That’s a ready-made mistress for Jonesy right there.’ Seventy five grand’s a lot to pay for a blowjob on a private plane, but he’s got the money so why not?

    I still have no idea what a ‘diffusion range’ is. Perhaps someone in posession of a vagina can help me out here? Oh, and why you’d pay £150 for a sheet of cloth made into a dress would be nice too.

  3. Napoleon Says:

    ‘Sais’ is Tunisian for ‘said’, by the way.

  4. Clarry Says:

    And where’ve you been exactly? Hmmmmmm?

    Forgot to watch DD so can’t comment, but good review SH – it was almost like I didn’t miss it.

    Where is Wenchy’s bit of The Dark Knight? We watched it in Saturday night. Has anyone else seen it yet? I need to discuss it.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    I thought ‘Neurotica’ was a pile of shit, personally. The rag trades an infernal racket.

  6. Clarry Says:


  7. Swineshead Says:

    I’m afraid we’re not running with Wenchy’s review if she liked it. I’ve not heard from her anyhow… We’re putting some thoughts on DK tomorrow…

  8. Clarry Says:

    Just seen your comment on previous page NC – god that means i’m impatient and stupid. Bloody women….

  9. Clarry Says:

    In case it ruins the review can you communicate to me in code what you thought of it?

  10. Napoleon Says:

    Let’s just say my arse hurt after spending two and a half hours watching a comic book movie.

  11. Swineshead Says:

    I haven’t seen it, NC has.
    In terms of spoilers, the whole thing’s pretty much been discussed openly in the media from the off so I’ve given up on avoiding them!

    I thought Batman Begins was shit anyway.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    The best comic book movie is Darkman – because it actually looks like a comic book.

  13. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It was good.

  14. Swineshead Says:

    Not sure she was talking to you, JQW – she was looking at NC.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    Can we hold off on the Batman talk till tomorrow?
    I know everyone’s excited about this so-called film event (because that australian tit happens to have died) but this post’s about DD, you bastards.

  16. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    *sits at corner of table, drinking heavily*

  17. Napoleon Says:

    Back to Dragon’s Den – That burglar alarm woman looked like she was about to shit herself. And Theo – the Del Trotter of big business – surprised me when he didn’t offer to invest in the attractive fashion designer. Surely his grubby little shopkeeper’s mind could see that, if he shifted her operation to back street Bangladeshi factories and then sold the girl’s stuff in bulk in his knicker shops, this time next year, Rodney, he’d be millionaires? He missed a trick there.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    What knicker shop does he own then? I thought he was a stationer. And forgive my inept business mind, but if that alarm woman had a japanese restaurant in manchester that was doing very nicely thankyou, she was guilty of the same crime as that kiddie-token man – she could afford to back her own venture… how come she didn’t get her arse kicked for it? Because she was dotty and blonde?

  19. Swineshead Says:

    *chuckles at Dark Knight review*

  20. Napoleon Says:

    I think that was the reason, yes.

    As for Theo, he owns that La Senza place, don’t he? Just one of his many business ventures – others include a water bottling business, a professional chandelier cleaning operation, and a import/export company specialising in ex-Russian army cameras and blow-up dolls.

  21. Badger Madge Says:

    I chuffing loved it. So ner.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    You loved Dragon’s Den, Badger? Admit it, you want Jones to fondle your boobs on a Leer jet, eh?

  23. Badger Madge Says:

    Gah, I mis-timed my post. Missed DD. Bit fed up with it after the Hamfatter debacle if you ask me. Plus it’s all gone a bit “let’s jump about for the telly” and glossy for my liking. Next they’ll fix that dude’s eyes and it’ll just be Xfactor.

    I chuffing loved DK. And I ain’t speaking to anyone what says otherwise (it was a tad long tho, so can sympathise with the arse numb)

  24. Badger Madge Says:

    For £75K I’d let him touch them sure. But only on top of my clothes.

  25. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    It was good, wasn’t it, BM? Yeah, it was good.

  26. Swineshead Says:

    Right – if you all shut up about it till mid afternoon I’ll give you double the quality and put up The Dark Knight post around 3pm. Can’t say fairer than that.

  27. Wenchy Says:

    Hello children! Sorry I didn’t email about TDK, one was at home yesterday, feeling very poorly. Now, unfortunately, I liked TDK (very much) so I need to find something I hate before I write a review, I think. I could do a One Minute Review just so we can talk about it, maybe? It did have some bad points. Apparently Mandy from Hollyoaks was in it, but I missed that.

    Oh, and I can explain what a diffusion line is, if people genuinely want to know. Plus, is it wrong that I quite fancy Jonesy and his appalling socks?

  28. John Q Wagonwheel Says:


    If someone says ‘or no deal?’ they’re a gimp.

  29. Dave Says:

    Is Badger THE Badger, as in Badger or Bust Badger?

    I thought the reward system for the tele was a blooming good idea before the Dragons ripped it apart. In a play room or something it’d work bloody well and allow kids to think about electricity use and watching bile. Indeed, I’d assert that us lot wouldn’t have turned out the way we are if our parents had sense to install such a product.

  30. Swineshead Says:

    Dave – you are so wrong about the token system it hurts – but you’re unlikely to reproduce looking and acting like that, so I suppose it barely matters.

    Come off it – it’d turn kids into horrible little hoarders… plus they’d lose the tokens, try to break into the box, nick tokens off mates, sell their bodies for tokens… it’s start up an infant crimewave.

    Wenchy – sorry about that but feel free to send me a one minute review on an ad or something.

  31. Napoleon Says:

    He’d get the tops of your fettered tits for seventy five grand? Jesus. How much would he have to fork out for an udders-out fondling?

    *prepares to make a note*

  32. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    Doesn’t exactly teach self-restraint or deferring gratification, does it?
    Also it rather teaches kids that money (or its token equivalent) is the thing that gets them their way.

  33. Swineshead Says:

    It’s very wrong to fancy Peter Jones. It’s like feeling attracted to the singer out of Keane. Wrong.

  34. Swineshead Says:

    I agree with JQW.

    There, I’ve said it.

  35. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    And on that note, I’m off for the day. Have fun.

  36. Dave Says:

    That’s hurtful, Swineshead. I’m a more beautiful man than you give me credit for, search ‘Beer Trident’ on YouTube and behold a figure you’d be best to aspire towards.

    The system wouldn’t work for everyone but it would work for many parents, and implement a sense of order. A better product than Hamfatter or that rubbish clothes company.

  37. Swineshead Says:

    Bye JQW, my newly respected ally.

    Dave – you are wrong.

  38. Wenchy Says:

    “Wenchy – sorry about that but feel free to send me a one minute review on an ad or something.”

    No problemo! There’s plenty of adverts I hate, so that shouldn’t be too difficult.

  39. Napoleon Says:

    That television device was stupid. Bannatyne was right when he pointed out telling kids not to watch the telly is easier. I’d listen to him over a pasty-faced horror show like Dave anyday.

  40. Dave Says:

    Nobody here watches Supernanny, do they? And it is in no way weird that I do. Supernanny would endorse the project and I’d hold her opinion in a higher regard thatn SH’s or the Dragons’. Obviously it isn’t as affective as thrashing them with a barbed stick but, hey-hum, that’s life.

  41. Swineshead Says:

    I don’t watch Supernanny, so your point is redundant Dave, and has the suspicious aroma of minority-intolerance.

  42. Dave Says:

    It’s great. Like the Dog Whisperer but far more degrading to those concerened. A bit like the pithy correctional treatment I recieve on this blog.

  43. Napoleon Says:

    Supernanny deals with parents that are ruled by small children, Dave. This device hands over more control to the kids – that ain’t Supernanny’s bag at all. So, again, for the umpteenth time, you’re wrong. As usual wrong. WORNG.

  44. Napoleon Says:

    That’s right – WORNG (Japanese for wrong).

  45. Jamie Says:

    Dog Borstal!

  46. Wenchy Says:

    A bloke at Uni, when campaigning to be the President or something like that had the caption;

    “It’s WONG not WRONG!”

    A genius strapline if ever there was one.

  47. Swineshead Says:

    I actually don’t mind Dog Borstal.

  48. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve seen a couple of episodes of Dog Borstal. I liked the dogs, but then I like dogs. The owners were pricks.

    Can’t they do a follow-up? My vote would be for ‘Cat Bedlam’.

  49. Swineshead Says:

    Budgie Broadmoor might work.

  50. Jamie Says:

    Dog Borstal is a stunning program. I like the main bloke, he takes dogs SLIGHTLY too seriously.

  51. Swineshead Says:

    Surely if it’s a borstal then there should be an age limit on the entrants? I’ve seen some knackered old canines on that show, I’m sure.

  52. Napoleon Says:

    Stunning? The currency of words has been diminished slightly over the years, eh? If Dog Borstal’s ‘stunning’, what does that make How To Look Good Naked? Astonishing? Awe-inspiring? Magnificent?

    Stunning, indeed.

  53. Napoleon Says:

    Separate the show into two, do you mean? Dog Borstal, and Dog Nursing Home? I’d also bring up the title as slightly deceptive. In the episodes I watched, no dog smacked another dog over the head with a snooker ball in a sock, and there was no rape scene in a greenhouse. Borstal, my arse.

    They’re like bloody ‘oliday camps nowadays, etc. etc. etc.

  54. Jamie Says:

    I would be more concerned about some of the dogs being too YOUNG for the horrors of Borstal. Some of them as young as 2 or 3.

    Perhaps stunning is a bit over the top. I think I can safely look back on a day and say it was crap if at any point I was tempted to watch Dog Borstal.

  55. Swineshead Says:

    My other half loves dogs. If there’s no other choice, DB it is.

    Except we’ve got V+ now, so there’s always another choice.

  56. Jamie Says:

    I like how I just shouted Dog Borstal! and the topic changed to it like that..

    How about –

    Michael Barrymore’s dead! – Was at Latitude festival this past week and for some reason that became a rumour amongst the entire festival.

  57. Dave Says:

    Having a programme dedicated to our older canine chums would be a waste of time, surely. Afterall, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

    *applauds self*

  58. Napoleon Says:

    Sounds like a sensible woman to me. I would buy one of those cards those buffoons brought on to Dragon’s Den because I’m dog-wappy.

  59. Napoleon Says:

    Dave – Your comment reminded me of that Viz letter:

    Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? My wife’s 65, and last week I taught her how to light her own farts.

  60. Jamie Says:

    I’m all about cats. I admire their stubbornness and the fact they can see that most things dogs would be happy to do for hours are in fact completely pointless tasks.

  61. Napoleon Says:

    And you know this how, Jamie? Have you had a conversation with a cat where he’s offered this information? Or was he too busy decimating the local wildlife population, covering himself in his own spit, and turning his nose up at the food you feed him then fucking off to live next door?

    I love cat owners’ bizarre ideas that the coldly indifferent predators they allow into their homes have some kind of Clint Eastwood-style cool about them that puts them above other members of the animal kingdom.

  62. badgermadge Says:

    Napoleon – it wouldn’t take money. But then I’d not expect you to understand *humph*

  63. piqued Says:

    I’m with NC on this, cats are all superior and vain, actually, I think they’re jolly rude.

  64. Napoleon Says:

    But apparently, Piqued, they don’t perform pointless tasks like dogs do, so that makes ’em better, apparently. Pointless tasks such as helping blind people, sniffing out drugs, herding flocks, finding people buried in earthquakes, etc. etc. I can see how these things are pointless when you weigh them against torturing moths, playing with jangly things, and digging claws into crotches.

  65. Napoleon Says:

    Badger – I don’t understand because I’m a ruthless businessman like Peter Jones. When I fondle tits, I fondle ’em for money.

  66. Jamie Says:

    They do.

    My cats DO decimate the local wildlife (all fun), DO keep themselves clean, DON’T turn their nose up at the food I feed them.

    Dogs are smelly stupid morons. I still like them, I just prefer cats.

    Cats are like a mate you can call up once in a while, hang out for a bit, then they go their way you go yours, no problem.

    Dogs are like a disturbing smelly friend who hangs around all day, needs constant attention and is embarrassingly over-affectionate, to the point where frankly it’s uncomfortable unless you fancy dogs. And then when you don’t want to hang out with them, it’s a bunny boiler situation where they become ridiculously needy and frankly immature. I don’t care if you’re a dog, grow up.

  67. badgermadge Says:

    then you could never afford my lovely ‘udders’. *sniff*

  68. badgermadge Says:

    Ooooh I’ve missed the Cat/Dog debate! I’m a cat person. They’re cleaner, softer to stroke and they make you work for their lurve…

  69. Jamie Says:

    I was referring more to household dogs, not trained ones.

    ie – Chasing a stick, barking at yourself in a mirror, eating things you just DON’T eat, rubbing your unclean arse on the carpet (love that one), being smelly, chasing your tail, etc.

  70. piqued Says:

    Jamie, a cat doesn’t give a flying fuck about anything unless it’s food-based, they’re like Kerry Katonia

    A dog on the other hand would defend it’s owner with a leg off, they’re like Ghandi

    I can’t believe you think that fat arsehole is better than Ghandi

    I pity you fool

  71. Joanne Says:

    I think this is the first time I actually watched a show you’ve reviewed! The tokens thing was a shit idea. Just take the batteries out of the goddamn remote. Our TV wouldn’t switch on without it when I was a kid.

    I’m a cat person. I have 2, one is a stone cold killer and the other is three-legged and suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (on account of losing the leg) I don’t buy them presents however as they never like anything I buy them. They’ve been known to turn their noses up at salmon!

  72. Napoleon Says:

    And all this makes them worse than an animal that’s soaked in its own spit and couldn’t care less if you live or die, is it? I don’t get it.

    And dogs are not morons. If they were, you wouldn’t be able to train them to do the series of highly complex tasks they can be trained to perform.

  73. Swineshead Says:

    I like cats and dogs. Prefer cats.

    Dogs are pack animals – hence the perceived loyalty. They are genetically disposed to helping one another (and you as pack leader, if you’re doing it right). It all equates to their own survival. Despite that, there’s no doubt they’re more affectionate creatures and their foibles are easily related to human characteristics, making them man’s best friend.

    Cats are independent hunters rather than pack animals so they don’t actually need an owner – so it’s not like they’re sniffy bastards, it’s just they’re not as infantile and dependent as dogs. If you didn’t feed them but let them out they’d survive perfectly well. In my opinion they’re aesthetically more pleasing, and have a grace of movement your rough and tumble pooch can’t carry.

    Different pets suit different needs, don’t they? The debate is one of the oldest (and silliest) in the history of debate. It’s like comparing a hat to an egg-cup.

  74. Swineshead Says:

    Joanne – cats are weird like that. They mew for a bit of whatever it is your having then, upon receiving some, realise they don’t fancy it at all and fuck off to go and kill a mouse.

  75. piqued Says:

    Of course dogs aren’t ‘morons’. They are the natural companion to human beings, always have been

    Who ever went hunting with fucking cats?

  76. Mikey Says:

    The baby on board “invention”, completely mad…they exist anyway.
    The TV token device…I kept wondering how it was connected. Surely any right minded kid would just unplug from..presumably the SCART socket. Really needed to know how it connected. Completely ridiculous and chap deserved the scorn.
    The fashion designer…and the models….whoa!!!
    I would have invested too.! Indeed that baby on board sign…would change to “Babes on board!”

  77. Swineshead Says:

    Cats can clear your house of pests, dogs can fetch your paper. They both rock. No need to slag one or the other off, from where I’m standing.

  78. Swineshead Says:

    Mikey – I liked the way Bannatyne picked out one of the better looking models as an example and all the others looked mighty pissed off.

  79. Dave Says:

    SH laid it down. End of.

  80. Napoleon Says:

    I’d argue on the grace front. A German Shepherd in full gallop is a cracking sight to behold.

    Anyway, horses piss on both of these animals. Especially those enormous horses Henry VIII and his mates used to charge about on.

  81. Mikey Says:

    It would be a daunting but nonetheless worthwhile daily chore to try and keep them all happy. Indeed if they need someone to drive and load the van…

  82. Napoleon Says:

    That model was lovely-looking. I think this is a good idea for a successful pitch. Flood the room with good-looking birds, then shout out, “I want two hundred and fifty grand for fifteen percent of my company,’ from somewhere at the back.

  83. Swineshead Says:

    Ever seen a weimeraner at full pelt? They look like Peter Jones trying to jog on Rohypnol. They’re my favourite breed because they’re as clumsy as me.

    Actually – the number of different domestic breeds means that when you say ‘I prefer dogs’ you’re covering every base from a little westie to a massive snarling doberman. Hardly fair.

  84. Dave Says:

    I love how SH asserted his intellectual dominance over the domestic animals debate. CV worthy.

  85. piqued Says:

    That bloke with the diamonds was a clever sod, he gets 3 Dragons offering him loads and turns them down. I reckon today his phone will be ringing off it’s hook

  86. Mikey Says:

    What’s with all the pet talk…may i remind you of the “Crufts review” and the rumpus that was caused by that!

    Back to the models…whoa…!

  87. Napoleon Says:

    They’re a daft breed. I like the lunacy of a Red Setter, personally. Nothing can cannon you off your feet quite like one of them big red buggers. They don’t seem to have full control over their legs.

    The only dogs I can’t stand are those toy ones you see leather-skinned women and celebrity idiots clutching. Dogs that have never seen the floor. Can’t be doing with them because they’re almost always nasty little shithouses.

  88. piqued Says:

    …amd when you say ‘I love cats’ you’re actually also implying you adore a Lion taking a giant plop on a little laddie in wheelchair before biting his face off. Then doing a wee wee on his heaving chest

  89. Swineshead Says:

    Dave – I’ve had time to dwell on it – my better half wants a westie and I want a kitten. We’re still at loggerheads and remain petless.

    Piqued – agreed. But if he doesn’t get on the phone today and market what happened on DD then he’ll lose any opportunity he’s made for himself. He needs to sell hismelf right now. But if he does, surely any investor’s only going to offer the same deal as the Dragons?

    Mikey – how about them models, eh? Whoa!

  90. piqued Says:

    (SH, did we not discuss those little in-the-bag dogs over the weekend? Taped into Tesco bags from the neck down? did we?)

  91. Swineshead Says:

    Napoleon – some toy dogs are alright.

    I’m fond of the chihuahua… the thing is they’re not meant to be in a fucking bag, are they?

    Since my end of London’s got gentrified there’s no end of the little buggers running round the park. They’re not much bigger than an adult rat. I like ’em. But then, I like rats. Used to have a couple as pets.

  92. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued – yep. We certainly did.

  93. Swineshead Says:

    Ok.. that’s enough of that – bring on The Dark Knight.

  94. Swineshead Says:

    But not here – the review’ll be up in 30 seconds.

  95. Napoleon Says:

    I enjoyed them models. I don’t see any reason why Dragon’s Den can’t go further down this road – models, showgirls, live nude sexxx, that sort o’ thing. Ditch the Dragons and put five naked women in the chairs, then have more naked women pitch ideas to ’em. Ideas about brothels and lap-dancing clubs and what-have-you.

    You could call it ‘Madam’s Den’.

  96. Swineshead Says:

    Napoleon – get on the phone to NutsTV

  97. Mikey Says:

    Babes on board…arf arf!

  98. Napoleon Says:

    I like boobs, that’s all I’m saying. Boobs on TV.

  99. Mikey Says:

    definitely more models needed on DD…Whoa!

  100. piqued Says:

    NC, you’ve got something there. I’ll witness for you.

  101. Mikey Says:

    actually in last weeks review I suggested something similar…you are ripping my idea off….i am applying for the patent.

  102. Mikey Says:

    directed at Napoleon and his Madam Den idea…

  103. Mikey Says:

    uhh..ohh…got to keep away from this site now till i have seen the film!

  104. Swineshead Says:

    Mikey = to be honest he barely gives any plot detail away beside what’s pretty much obvious. The comments might be a different kettle of fish, mind.

  105. Napoleon Says:

    I suspect the comments aren’t going to go my way.

  106. Mikey Says:

    Can not take any chances Swines old son….
    Those models…Whoa!

  107. Swineshead Says:

    Taking the trouble of linking to it on batman fansites.

  108. Napoleon Says:

    Just so you can whip up more hatred? This is like rolling a grenade into the internet.

  109. Swineshead Says:

    There’re barely any great reviews of it… so I’m not sure you’ll get all the disagreement you fancy.

  110. Napoleon Says:

    Really? I can’t say I’ve looked on the internet much, but I got the impression from the papers that this is a movie event that rivals Goodfellas in its importance. I’m pleased to discover there are others that thought this film was a fat pile of shit.

  111. paul Says:

    Loved Dragon’s Den last night. good review sir.

    Jonesey is a slime-ball though. Yes, Jonesy, they certainly DON’T like it up ’em, even when you’ve paid 75 grand, you slavering goon.

    He should just have cut to the chase and got his cock out.

    Even the shite inventions deserve to be listened to to the end, without putting your head in your hands you smug gangly cunt. And is that professional business conduct. I don’t fucking think so, chubby chops.

    She was very cute though the designer. Beautiful demure women like that must think the world is a lovely place, because everyone’s always nice to them all the time. Apart from other women, who maybe want to have them killed, I don’t know.

    And that boss-eyed scrawny smarming gimp Davis should be replaced. If he was straight he wouldve been out ages ago. dull and patronising. He looks, speaks and acts like Jeffrey Archer with cancer. If only.

    I like debs. And even Theo, who manages to make £1000 suits look like he got them out of Gratons catalogue in 1987, has a heart.

    But you’re right. As a fellow Scot, it has to be big Duncan. the only true Alpha male amongst them.

    You can tell he’s an alpha male because he doesnt have to act like a cunt to get people to respect him ( listening jonesy, or are you too busy wanking into your money?)

    Okay, Big Dunc was a bit torn-faced last night. But still you’d forgive him.

    Wheras Jonesy’s tale is that one told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury and signifying nothing.

  112. Swineshead Says:

    Blimey – little mini-review there from Paul. Good stuff, though i disagree heartily about Evan Davis. I likes him.

  113. paul Says:

    you obviously just fancy him you gayist

  114. Swineshead Says:

    *creates new list*

  115. paul Says:

    will any of your lists be appearing on BBC3 or channel 4 with stuart maconie jibbering on about how great number 7 is, to a pop hit of the day?

    if so, let me know and Id be happy to review it.

    *claps hands together in a ‘that showed him’ sort of way*

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