Super Botox Me

by

Kate Spicer is not happy with her face – and it’s easy to see why. When it’s not fixed into strenuous self-absorption, it’s lolling with a ‘vacant’ sign written all over it. She’s the very definition of ‘hangdog’ – but this is not because there’s anything wrong with her, it’s because she’s a cynic without wit and is permanently pulling a petulantly disappointed expression.

To confirm to herself that she’s pissed off with looking knackered, she sits herself next to a 16 year old model (Kate’s in her late thirties) to drive home the fact that she’s no spring chicken any more. She puts a panel of apparently important people in front of her to tell her why she looks worse than the model (none of whom point out that it may be because she’s not 16 any more). She makes us complicit in her disatisfaction with her own crumbling mug as the basis for this horrible injection of poison which screened on the now risible Channel 4 last night.

What is happening to Channel 4? When it’s not milking the middle class indie kid demographic, screening endless Kooks sessions, it’s pandering to the Grazia-reading prattlers who consider ‘boho’ an actual word. And part of this problem is shit like ‘Super Botox Me’ – the name itself a tiresome rip off of a pseudo-doc style that’s completely saturated.

Here, that format doesn’t even fit. She’s not subjecting herself to endless botox sessions. She’s just asking surgeons about the treatment. There would be nothing wrong with that, and with a different name for the show this could have been interesting investigative journalism. But Spicer makes it clear from the outset that she may have the surgery. Why she thinks we should care about her multiple insecurities is baffling.

But insecurity is one thing she develops by the bucketload as she chats with plastic surgeons (literally: fake doctors) who make a living out of lying to the neurotic and then charging them the earth for making them look weird. And, unforgivably, she has the surgery. Despite a couple of blips when she is subject to the voice of reason quite sensibly telling her to stop, she still ploughs on relentlessly and has injections in her jowels and forehead – and to my eye she looked no better for it. Then she had fat removed from around her eyes with a horrific implement that removed 30% of the fat on the skin it touched. ‘I’ve looked worse after a big night out’, joked Spicer. I’ve had some big nights, but the only time I’ve woken up looking that bad was after a bouncer kicked me repeatedly in the head. In Yorkshire.

So what we have here is an extended and unrequested ad for Botox. Just what the world needs.

Spicer turns up at the end to conclude, wrapping up the messy vanity project she’s just put us through. And, like… yeah – she thinks it’s not worth the hassle, but, like, she looks so much… better. She was told she looks better by an expert who’s also had surgery and looks like a swollen mannequin, so it must be true. And she’ll probably, she teases, be having more injections in the future.

Like Super Skinny Me, this is irresponsible programming in the extreme. I can’t, for the life of me, see how this footage is of any use to anyone apart from Ms Spicer herself (who was clearly after some free Botox from the off) and the shyster surgeons who make mountains of cash out of this loathesome fucking business.

It’s contemptible shite, and Spicer – lacking any journalistic integrity whatsoever – has made money out of promoting an elite form of self-harm, vanity, self-regard and idiocy. I’m moved to make my first complaint about a TV programme. Am I getting old, or is TV getting worse?

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35 Responses to “Super Botox Me”

  1. Edna Welthorpe Says:

    This is like the kiddy-chasing BBC Three at its worst. And also an example of how some journalists will do absolutely ANYTHING to get themselves on the telly, and how tellycos use the same four journalists to do everything, and always saying they’re looking for new faces, when in fact they want the same old (botoxed) ones.

  2. Schulz Says:

    Oh my God

    I am loathe to admit I watched this shite, and yes I agree she did it more for vanity than for journalism, and the kind of people she “hangs” out with in NY look like a sad load of old biddies clutching onto remnants of their youth, by the botox, denying nature her ways.

    Anyway… we all still watch, even though we know that it’s wrong that she’s doing it and her reasons are more than a little in her own interest. But hasn’t TV just become that, one big massive peeping camera at others so we can judge them, feel superior, and laugh at them anyway? So she makes a programme and, yes, she’s a twat. So you get to Blog about it and feel superior…and the beat goes on.

    This world is becoming more twisted every day and I dread to think what next…eeek I sound old now too. And I’m a few years younger than Spicer. She did look better at the end. But she’s still a twat, pity they can’t botox that out of her… 🙂

  3. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Every journalist sees it as the career path. they all imagine they are david Frost in waiting. Bastards.

  4. charliemingles Says:

    sounds like good freak show tv, I’ll check it out. I always found kate spicer a bit irritating and smug. It sort of shows you get the face you deserve.

  5. Bec McCallum Says:

    I agree wholeheartedly. There was something deeply ingenuous about her and the whole shoddy programme. The addictive personailty arc was so manufactured as to be almost risible. Do they think we’re stupid? All the filming permissions etc must have been in place before she got there. Surely? She was always going to get the treatment. It was free, after all. And no amount of self deprecating ironic detachment and allegedly insightful self admission that ‘she knows she’s betraying her feminist principles and that she hates herself for doing it’ is ever going to make us believe or respect her.

  6. daveselectricblanket Says:

    She looks like a cave dwelling sea beast, and the Botox did sod all about that.

    As the post suggests, all she need do is fucking smile. Smile, and realise she’s not in her early-twenties any more.

  7. Quincy Phd Says:

    6 comments? Slow day this bank holiday Monday. Haven’t been round in a while – am utterly fucked for money so life takes over.

    Good article – I didn’t watch it as I didn’t fancy a bout of TV induced rage that day, but I’m glad it was as empty and shallow as it looked.

  8. steve Says:

    I thought Kate’s original face looked engaging and full of character. i think that the final shots of her after treatment looked worse than the early ones – perhaps it will all just settle down again though. i would love to cuddle her, make her smile and tell her how she just looks fine to me – it would be nice if she would just get on with being herself – an interesting inquisitive sexy woman. i don’t like these celebrity Victoria Beckham type faces, they seem scary, artificial and weird. i think generally if it’s not actually broke, don’t mess around with it.

  9. Badger Madge Says:

    I can’t stand that woman. She brings ‘journalism’ in its truest sense into disrepute – no wonder the world loks down on this profession if she’s our figure head. Her and that other one who did that size 10 debate ‘documentary’ – they’re both loathsome, self obsessed, boring, vain and vapid. No more dagnammit!

  10. Swineshead Says:

    Do you mean Super Skinny Me – The Race To Size Zero, Badger?
    Same woman, if so.

    Her schtick is: Women will do anything for vanity, including stuff that’s harmful. I’ll undergo the same experience to prove it’s not very nice and, hey! I’ll look great as a result!

    She advertises stupid fads whilst pretending she’s criticising them. It’s bizarre.

  11. Dave Says:

    I can’t stand her either – she did one on binge drinking too, and I was proper jealous, was I.

    That’s a dream ticket.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    No Dave – that’s someone else entirely. The binge drinking one was Nicky Taylor, who’s far more engaging (though her Should I Smoke Dope doc was very misleading).

    Can we all get our Kate Spicers, our Lisa Rogers and out Nicky Taylors assembled correctly?

    FANKS.

  13. Dave Says:

    I apologise for my error but there’s loads of the buggers – they breed like Gremlins if they eat after midnight.

    You, of course, mean the naturally beautiful lady with that well sculpted nose, perfect hair and skin that STILL took it upon herself to dangerously lose weight.

    She was better on Balls of Steel.

  14. Swineshead Says:

    Hang on – Nicky Taylor’s a forty-something mother of three. Not to put her down but she doesn’t fit your description.
    Are you talking about Louise Nurding out of Eternal?

    Anyway – I’m considering getting Botox and if that makes me a hypocrite, fuck you all.

  15. Dave Says:

    *Google*

    I meant Nicky Taylor first off but you said it wasn’t her.

    I then went on to reckon it was Dawn Porter (BBC THREE’s clone).

    This is a minefield.

  16. Swineshead Says:

    Ah right…
    Seems there’re quite a lot more of these female investigative TV journalists. I’ve never seen anything Dawn Porter’s done, mind you.

  17. piqued Says:

    She could have just put her head in a bag? What a waste of time and money, AND we still have to look on her medusa visage

  18. Laura Says:

    I found it very depressing watching this perfectly normal looking 30 something yr old go through extremely painful procedures desperately trying to look how she thinks she’s supposed to.

    Rather than encouraging me to think about plastic surgery or Botox in the future it has reaffirmed my belief that beauty comes from within. For this I think some credit should go to Kate Spicer and for what it’s worth she did what she set out to do – to strip away the glamourous facade of pastic surgery and reveal it for what it is, self mutilation in the name of vanity.

  19. Swineshead Says:

    Laura – what she set out to do was to get some Botox (as she’s clearly incredibly vain) and get some footage of the procedure along the way so she could sell shocking scenes to garner ratings.

    She deserves no credit whatsoever. She deserves to be ignored, what with her being a complete arsehole.

  20. Jim Baxter Says:

    I don’t know about female investigative reporters, but Gremlins multiply when you get wet. They go evil when you feed them after midnight.

  21. Laura Says:

    Swineshead – Oh alright you win, she is just a self-absorbed twat.

    But she did make me rethink my whole view on appearance. I thought one day I’d like to have Botox to keep me looking young and beautiful but now I don’t want to coz I think it’s kinda sad and pathetic! It was depressing watching her having needles stuck into her face and blood pouring out of her cheeks just because she didn’t look 16 any more.

    I just resent how much focus there was on her being single, at the end of the day, the problem is with society’s stigma about a thirty-something year old being single – if she was happily married there would have no need for to have Botox.

  22. Princess Anne Says:

    I like Kate Spicer and actually iLaura f she was married she would need it even more, in a bid to delay her husband running off with a younger version.

    Do you all live with your heads in the sand? Open some MAGAZINES , wake up ! Everyone is trying to look younger, fitter and thinner than ever. Kate Spicer’s programme was interesting and relevant to our daily lives and that’s why you hypocrites watched it.

    I’m just sorry I wasted my time stumbling upon this blog and the ridiculous opening tirade of miserable drivel. And Bozo- she had a fair few needles inserted in her face – enough to constitute the ‘supersize’ title-you can’t have botox more than once every four months so the Doc would take a bit longer under your theory

  23. Catchers Says:

    Illiterate, mis-spelt, bitter, vengeful, incoherent ramblings fuelled by rage, envy and frustration…including comments by some sad social inadequates who reveal they have not even watched the programme in question, yet still feel qualified to pass judgment on it. Oh, dear. Read Rod Little’s concise, constructive and thoughtful review in this week’s Sunday Times Culture section and weep. “Citizen” journalism. What a bad joke. What have we come to?

  24. The Tombstone Says:

    I don’t get you Catchers, you both understand completely and fail to understand the point of this blog. If you want constructive and thoughtful reviews stick with your Sunday Times, if you want vengeful, incoherent ramblings from the funny posters complete with comments by social inadequates (that would be me) then this is the place to be. It’s like going to someone’s party and saying “You’re all a bunch of drunken twats you are” before helping yourself to some Pringles and buggering off. You don’t like – don’t read, don’t comment just fuck off.

  25. daveselectricblanket Says:

    I wouldn’t call this blog an example of Citizen journalism. It’s simply a gathering of folk that like watching telly and the inevitable ideas the experience conjures.

    You read this blog, turned a stimuli into a real, genuine opinion and typed that bad man of a bitch right down into textual words just for us. What’s the difference?

  26. Paris Says:

    Sorry, but did I miss something? Why is she a ‘twat’ and an ‘arsehole’ – because she had botox? I don’t entirely understand what she’s being criticised for – she seemed pretty honest about her motives (and the changing importance of those motives) throughout. Or are all women who go for surgery twats in your world? I’m glad I’ve seen how aggressive those treatments are and I’m glad she let us see.

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Paris – reread the article… I think it’s explained by this sentence:

    So what we have here is an extended and unrequested ad for Botox. Just what the world needs.

    This was a vanity project by a twat and an arsehole.

    You definitely missed something. Or possibly a few things.

  28. michelle Says:

    i cannot b.leve im even goin 2 comment on this pile of shit blog it seams to me swineshead u have a lot of issues if you do not like ms spicer then that is your god given right ..what isnt your god given right is to be so god damn personal…i find ms spicer to be a talented,intellectual,and quite beautiful woman..no,1 forced you to watch the programme .if you didnt like it you should of flicked it over and watched somethin else..i do hope that if ms spicer ever stumbled across this waste of time that she did indeed have a good laugh at it….i know i did!!!!

  29. Swineshead Says:

    That comment cut me like a knife.

    A knife!

    it seams I c.not cary on

  30. Nick T Says:

    I have issues….
    At least you had a laugh Michelle, I mean THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT EH?

  31. Napoleon Says:

    i agee wiv michelle wen she sez u r an unfunnie arsewhole, swinshed. u hev no. god givin rite 2 say enefing effer, imho. i hop ms. spicer reeds this an laff at u as u is a peece uff shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. Nick T Says:

    Can you be a little more definitive about these “God given rights”

    Not likeing someone is covered but not being personal is not.

    Are these rights written down anywhere?

    Bible, Quoran, The Tao according to Pooh?

  33. michelle Says:

    lyk u sed twt every1 az a rite 2 an opinion……bet ur a yank!!!!!!!!! no humour no brainz no nothing……if u wna be personal at least let the woman d,fend herself!!!!! she,d make mince meat outa ya ……seamz 2 me SWINE u have a slight yert disturbing obsesh!!!!!!!

  34. michelle Says:

    ok ok that was slightly harsh…just seams to me that if you dislike someone that much why continue to watch the progammes or read the articals that the person writes or is in? a bit daft to me…if you dont like her dont watch! end of story end of this stupid blog

  35. michelle Says:

    ok ok that was slightly harsh…just seams to me that if you dislike someone that much why continue to watch the progammes or read the articals that the person writes or is in? a bit daft to me…if you dont like her dont watch! end of story end of this stupid blog.

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