That’s according to the NME, that risible ringtone catalogue which was once, though the memory’s hazy, vaguely readable. So in a direct rip off of their content – here’s what they say:
So that’s it. The tents have been packed away, the wristbands snipped, the wellies rinsed off. Barring one final straggler – End Of The Road, which takes place this weekend (September 12-14) – the festival season is over.
They then ask ‘what were your festival highs and lows?’
Here are mine, specifically based around Glastonbury – feel free to add yours.
- All festival coverage on all channels. Rubbish.
- Leonard Cohen not being on the box.
- All of the broadsheets’ hysterical, nauseating Glastonbury coverage – particularly style barometers telling you what to wear at the festival.
- People coming back from Glastonbury and trying to tell you how ‘seriously wicked’ it was, despite you violently waving them away as if they were a blue-bottle.
- The office being quiet.
- Going to the park on a sunny day in my East London manor and not finding it impossible to get a spot due to jugglers and bongo players.
- Going to the park on a sunny day in my East London manor and not finding it impossible to get a spot due to fashion victim indie kids (that would’ve been an oxymoron five years ago) bleating loudly on their mobile telephones.
- Scrunching up the Glastonbury supplements that came with the broadsheets and using them to stretch the leather on my new shoes.
You may now call me a curmudgeon, if you wish.