NewsGush: Step Into The Tardis!


Great news for children and the childish! According to the BBC:

Fans of smash-hit shows Doctor Who, Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures are being offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go behind the scenes at the studios where the shows are filmed.

On Saturday and Sunday, 8 and 9 November, the BBC will be opening the studio doors just outside Cardiff to 100 lucky competition winners and their friends and families.

The money-can’t-buy-experience is being run to help raise money for this year’s BBC Children in Need appeal.
Doctor Who: Backstage will take fans to the heart of the action at the BBC Wales studios.

Visitors will tour the closely-guarded sets, come face-to-face with some of the Doctor’s mortal enemies, and meet the behind-the-scenes teams who make it all happen – including the set designers, costumiers and make-up artists.

Russell T Davies says: “This is so exciting – giving fans the opportunity to take a behind the scenes look at where we film Doctor Who, Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures is just brilliant.
“It’ll be the perfect opportunity for the whole family to experience something unique and truly extraordinary. It will be a once-in-a-lifetime experience – and the best thing is that all the money raised will go towards BBC Children in Need.”

I can just imagine the scene as 50 genuinely excited kids line up in Wales, all pumped up about seeing how their favourite show is engineered for their viewing pleasure whilst 50 drip-nosed cagoule-wearers try to jump in front of them, blissfully unaware that their passion for a kid’s programme is highly dubious.

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148 Responses to “NewsGush: Step Into The Tardis!”

  1. ugeine Says:

    Sorry to hijack but this is a good article. (no spoilers)

    On the article, is there something infantile about liking a show that appeals to both children and adults? I don’t think so, but that’s what the tone of the article suggested to me.

  2. ihave1000mice Says:

    I dated a Dr Who fan once. Needless to say I slept around.

  3. Napoleon Says:

    One can only hope there’s an army of mothers who see paedophiles at every turn out there. That way, Dave and his ghastly cohorts will be chased back to the darkened bedrooms where they belong, and the kiddies will be free to enjoy a day out learning about their favourite kiddies’ show.

  4. ihave1000mice Says:

    Paedophiles are at every turn. Don’t you read the Daily Mail, you’re never more than 10 inches away from a paedo.

  5. ugeine Says:

    Are you all labouring under the misaprehension that kids are going to want to go to this?

    You lot have really forgotten what It’s like been young haven’t you?

    1) Only one type of child likes Dr. Who. These are the kind of kids that become press – packers, like Dairylea, and don’t own a copy of GTA IV because it’s rated an 18 and they feel it’s not appropriate entertainment for them. You know, wet behind the ear types.

    2) Even if you are a child with a passing interest in Dr. Who, going to a shed where they film it to stare at actors lounging around and people getting make up would rank on the enjoyment scale of going to a Museum.

    So, the only people who will be there are the kind of Dr Who fans who have nothing else to do then to look round a shed in Cardiff for three hours. And the children who were described earlier, who basically grow up into the kind of Dr Who fans who have nothing else to do then to look round a shed in Cardiff for three hours.

  6. Napoleon Says:

    Well, obviously. Luckily, the parents of this country have identified the threat, and have taken the wise precaution of never letting their children out of their sight until they’re 25.

  7. ihave1000mice Says:

    You’re just saying that so you can be at the front of the queue aren’t you ugeine.

  8. ihave1000mice Says:

    You should try living in America with parents who watch Fox News. When I go back there it’s live in a fort made out of the couch tipped over while my dad points his gun at the door, waiting…just waiting.

  9. ugeine Says:

    sssssssssssshhh! If I get to see David Tennant and that one from the hooker drama I would like DIEEEE!

  10. ihave1000mice Says:

    I don’t get that show, if you want to watch people fuck then go on the internet where they actually fuck.

  11. Goerge Says:

    Agreed. basically, Billy Piper chomps on cock for an hour in the name of feminism. It’s like punching John Lennon in the face for an hour in the name of peace.

  12. Napoleon Says:

    What show? Doctor Who? If they’ve started getting up to that sort o’ thing on the show, then Wurzel Gummidge is spinning in his grave.

  13. Davesthermalpants Says:

    When I was told to stay away from the minors in Cardiff, I thought they were referring to the embittered unionists of the Thatcher era. *drums*

  14. Napoleon Says:

    I would have punched John Lennon in the face for an hour for peace. Actually, I would have happily done it without needing an excuse.

  15. ihave1000mice Says:

    They should make that show a real life representation of hookers. Sad dead eyes, heroin, getting strangled in Ipswich.

  16. Napoleon Says:

    Am I missing something here? What’s Doctor Who got to do with prostitutes?

  17. Swineshead Says:

    NC – Billie Piper.

  18. Napoleon Says:

    Billie Piper? Eh? They’ve not found out she was a prostitute, have they?

  19. Goerge Says:

    Am I missing something here? What’s Doctor Who got to do with prostitutes?

    Billy Piper stars in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

  20. Napoleon Says:

    George – Oh, I see. I didn’t watch that.

  21. Goerge Says:

    Have you ever seen two people have sex? That was the gist of the show.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    I have, as not only do I have a boroadband connection, but I also used to work in a sex shop. I spent eight hours a day watching two, three, sometimes sixty people having sex. If that’s all it was, fuck that.

  23. Goerge Says:

    What, like the ‘backdoor room’?

  24. Napoleon Says:

    No, as a shop assistant. Flogging porno movies to old men covered in piss, and dildos to deluded people who thought they made an excellent birthday/valentines/wedding anniversary present for the wife. Weirdest job I ever ‘ad.

  25. Nick T Says:

    *returns wife’s suprise present”

  26. Napoleon Says:

    I would if I were you, Nick. I’d get blokes coming in the shop, and saying,

    “I’m thinking of getting the missus one o’ these as a surprise for our anniversary, what should I get?”

    To which I’d reply,

    “Box of chocolates? Bunch of flowers? Nice meal, perhaps?”

    They’d ignore me, buy the dildo anyway, and then return the next day with a red face (and sometimes a black eye) and ask for their money back.

  27. Nick T Says:

    Or a sore arse….

  28. Davesthermalpants Says:

    The three pronged ones look like something a teenage mutant ninja turtle would brandish in a sexy battle.

  29. ihave1000mice Says:

    I wouldn’t mind being given a dildo as a present.

  30. charliemingles Says:

    surely they’ll have weeded the paedos out during the questionnaire with the cunning: Reasons for your visit question.

    If they answer: one in the wank bank, they may not necessarilly be proper doctor who fans.

    Having said that though – I’ve known fans of sci-fi to stand wanking over a flight consol captain kirk once brushed past – so you can never be absolutely sure.

  31. charliemingles Says:

    if you have 1000 mice, 1000mice, I would imagine a dildo is childs play.

    ( see: Urban Myths – Gere:Richard)

    have you got a wheel upn there an all. You need to keep them entertained.

  32. Napoleon Says:

    There’s something indistinguishable between grown-up Doctor Who fans and paedophiles, Mingles? I had no idea.

  33. Napoleon Says:

    And they all wear glasses.

  34. ihave1000mice Says:

    There’s no sex in Secret Diary anyway, just a vaguely passable Billie Piper body double grinding on people in her underwear and giving unrealistic blow jobs. With the camera shooting back to her with her I like to get paid to do this stuff because I’m such a dirty bitch face.

  35. ihave1000mice Says:

    Dirty boy, they don’t all make it up there. Just my favourite ones.

  36. Swineshead Says:

    Billie Piper is definitely a Dirty Bitch Face. And that’s a compliment.

  37. Napoleon Says:

    ‘Unrealistic blow-jobs’? How can you tell if this was on terrestrial telly? Good God! Standards haven’t sunk that low, have they?

  38. charliemingles Says:

    thats what I was ever so subtley alluding to Napoleon. as ever, your keen mind picked it up immediately.

    if only you were scottish, I could shake your hand as an, almost ,equal.

  39. ihave1000mice Says:

    I don’t like what she’s done to her lips, like she didn’t already look enough like a fish.

    There are no realistic blow jobs on TV, contrary to prior belief we don’t just move our heads back and forth like we’re being pulled on a string or something.

  40. charliemingles Says:

    1000mice – are you my ex-girlfriend?

    ( regular readers will remember thre goth incident with the hair)

    If so …please dont hurt me. not again.

  41. charliemingles Says:

    I havent seen that billie piper show ( i really must start watching relevision again) but it does look very very tame.

    The sort of ‘sexy’ that women in the their mid 20’s who are just starting to become very comfortable with their sexuality, find erotic. but for everyvopdy else, pretty lame.

    crap-looking blowjobs as well – as you say micey.

  42. Napoleon Says:

    “… contrary to prior belief we don’t just move our heads back and forth like we’re being pulled on a string or something.”

    Well that entirely depends. I’ve had women do that on plenty of occasions. Don’t you move your head at all? That would be a shit blow-job.

  43. ihave1000mice Says:

    No I only went out with one monkey and he never pointed a gun at me.

  44. charliemingles Says:

    good answer. It cant be you then, you sound far too clever and snappy.

    thank fuck for that.

  45. ihave1000mice Says:

    Well you like what you like I guess. Maybe you like them moving back and forth in time to a drum you’re playing while you laugh at their cold dead eyes. Maybe you even have them on strings 😉

  46. Napoleon Says:

    As opposed to what? Skewered their motionless? The cold, dead eyes thing would apply more to that level of bored female inactivity, you’d think.

  47. Goerge Says:

    Puppeteer blowjobs. Somewhere, Craig Schwartz has blow his load.

  48. charliemingles Says:

    can I ask micey, where you got your intriguing nickname?

    I doubt the vicar gazed down at a smiling infant, the diffuse sunlight flooding through the stained-glass windows, God sitting silently in his heaven above, and proclaimed:

    I baptise this child ihave1000mice. God bless her and all who sail in her …


  49. ihave1000mice Says:

    That’s a story for another day. Monkey boy.

    I’m not talking about motionless blow jobs I’m talking about varying the speeds, sometimes stopping and just licking it, going all the way down and just holding it… you guys know what I’m talking about. I think you just want me to discuss how I give head. You dirty old man.

  50. ihave1000mice Says:

    *Googles Craig Schwartz*

  51. charliemingles Says:

    SH: I suspect 1000mice is actually either dave or tombstone in disguise.

    Knowing those two pervy fiends, theyve probably gone the whole way and are sitting in front of the keyboard typing – in wig, dress and full-makeup.

    that micey girl has far too much knowledge of correct blowjob technique for a slip of a girl. they’ll be getting the vote next.

    NC: Youre probably flirting with dave in a dress. Not for the first time, I know, but just to alert you.

  52. Goerge Says:

    *tugs on collar*

    So, er, Gents, ahem, television?

  53. Napoleon Says:

    I’m wasn’t flirting, as it sounded like all I’d get was a blow-job off of a corpse. Now she’s explained herself more fully, I can guarantee one steak dinner and a bottle of wine costing a maximum of fifteen pounds.

  54. Napoleon Says:

    ‘I’m wasn’t flirting’?

    We’m been ‘aving a roight bit o’ bad weather for the ‘arrrrvest, Mr. Moonachre!

  55. charliemingles Says:

    Micey – youre either a 58-year-old housebound woman in a wheelchair or a teenage rentboy.

    back to television as the man/woman said …

    I think we were talking about that Billie piper show.

  56. Goerge Says:

    I’m a man, Charlie, with an Adam Apple and everything.

  57. Napoleon Says:

    The prostitute one? Didn’t see it, unfortunately. And Doctor Who fucking stinks.

  58. ihave1000mice Says:

    Or a housebound 58 year old rent boy in a wheelchair.

  59. Napoleon Says:

    My Adam’s Apple’s so large, it just looks like a section of my windpipe. Eh, Micey, eh? Eh?

    (Steak dinner – remember that.)

  60. Goerge Says:

    1000mice (great name for a band, that would be) Charlie’s constantly accusing one of us at some time or other of been wheelchair bound rentboys. I wouldn’t take it too personally. He just really loves wheelchair bound rentboys.

  61. ihave1000mice Says:

    If you like 58 year old rent boys who can’t leave the house you can cook for me.

  62. ihave1000mice Says:

    I’m thinking the 58 year old rent boys sounds like a better band name.

  63. Napoleon Says:

    A man? Cook for a woman?


  64. Goerge Says:

    1000Mice: agreed. Though the PR shots would be nauseating.

  65. charliemingles Says:

    Micey old bean – I stopped making any money as a rent boy as soon as I hit 45.

    Even in the full school uniform, with the conkers and the schoolbag – nuffin.

    Thats when I tried to top myself and ended up in the fecking wheelchair.
    since then, the work has just flooded in.

    *insistent hungry knocking on door*

    If you’ll just excuse me …

  66. Goerge Says:


    that’s happening two doors down from me.


  67. Napoleon Says:

    Blimey, George! That’s not interesting in the least!

  68. Napoleon Says:

    By the way, if any internet psychos are out there, you can now pinpoint George’s location with some accuracy. Happy murdering!

  69. charliemingles Says:

    GOERGE: I know this isnt in the least intersting, but Goerge – why dont you spell your name properly? Its George surely?

    It must be just as easy to type ‘george’.

    Nothing personal, it just gets on my tits.

    It’s like seeing a dog with its ear folded back, you just want to go over there and fix it.

    fix it please.

  70. Goerge Says:

    We might have to be evacuated and everything. They’re trying to stop it from spreading to the chemical plant next door.

  71. charliemingles Says:

    tell them youre on important business on the internet. they’ll cordon you off

  72. Goerge Says:

    CM: There’s a bloody fire in my back garden and all you can worry about is my name? *panics*

    No, seriously, I never realised that it was the wrong way round. It’s saved on this (work) computer that way for some reason. It’s probably something to do with my dyslexia.

  73. Napoleon Says:

    My dog’s ear being folded back used to get on my nerves, as it ‘appens. It didn’t matter what I was doing, I had to put it back in the right place.

  74. Goerge Says:

    tell them youre on important business on the internet. they’ll cordon you off


  75. charliemingles Says:

    bravo sir!

    Let the ears of the dogs of the world hang free and wild beside their noble heads.

  76. Goerge Says:

    NP: me too, used to piss me right off. Why do they do that?

  77. charliemingles Says:

    … unless theyve got tits – in which case, kill the freaks. they terrify me.

    George – cant you fix it. put in a special request, they must know this is important. get one of the firemen to help you.

  78. Napoleon Says:

    Sorry to drag it back to sex again, but the hound wandered in when I was halfway up the mountain, as it were, with his bloody ear folded back. I valiantly tried to gallop on, but eventually had to dismount, issue an apology to my furious better half, and go and sort the dog’s ear out.

    THAT’S how much I can’t abide dogs’ ears being bent back.

  79. Goerge Says:

    Fireman: ‘Mr Marshall, come on now, we admire your dedication to your work but we really need to get you out of here before the building collapses.’ Me: ‘And the internet needs to know my opinions on Billie Piper, now tell me, which do you think is more important?’ Fireman: ‘Good point. See you in an hour.’

  80. charliemingles Says:

    I’ll tell you why they do it George. Theyre fucking with our minds thats why.

    by day they sit placidly hiding their opposable thumbs. but by night, theyre out fidgeting with their ears, getting just the right look in the mirror to get on your tits when you come down for breakfast – one ear forward, one ear back, with that weird white fluffy bit in the middle exposed for all to see.

    the cunning little bastards.

  81. charliemingles Says:

    George: I believe thats the way it happened for Simon Weston. Except back then it was a letter to ‘readers wives’ They couldnt drag him away, the poor blighter.

  82. Nick T Says:

    Great pics of hurricane Ike as it seams no one is talking about tv anymore…..

  83. Swineshead Says:

    Mingles – you’ve hit a nail on its shiny head with this ear/dog/fold conundrum. I can’t stand it either.

    In Cadiz I risked the wrath of angry Spaniards (all of whom have dogs) when I saw a pooch with an ear bent back. I went to push them back into position, risking rabies, distemper or worse, and suffered a scalding in an angry hispanic tongue on one occasion.

    Is it because we’re British? Is that why we must have order and dignity in our dogs?

  84. Napoleon Says:

    I did the same in Greece with a stray, and received a bite and a tetanus jab for my troubles! Couldn’t stand it!

  85. charliemingles Says:

    SH: Its even worse than i feared.

    Some dogs have them naturally bent back. like an echo of some coming apocalypse. no matter how many times you fold them forward, they just flop back again.

    I came across one such fiendish hound in the back streets of mexico. the memories haunted me for weeks.

  86. Swineshead Says:

    In other news, I was just in the bank and as I changed my Euros for sterling (terrible exchange rate at present) I noticed HSBfuckingC have taken to streaming music into their branches. I think it’s disgusting – especially with the open plan layout they’ve put in these days.

    Imagine being refused credit whilst ‘Addicted to Love’ by Robert Palmer blares over the tannoy.

    Or being made bankrupt to ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ by D:Ream

    It’s a fucking disgrace.

  87. ihave1000mice Says:

    You guys must spend more time looking at dogs’ ears than me. Can’t say I’ve noticed.

  88. Swineshead Says:

    (Nobody in the bank had their ear bent back at least)

  89. Napoleon Says:

    Or ‘Matchstick Men & Matchstick Cats & Dogs’ by Brian & Michael when your mortgage applic … oh, hang on, that doesn’t work …

  90. Goerge Says:

    It’s a sign of submission, isn’t it? That would make sense, considering you terrors have been roaming the Hispanic worlds, striding up to poor unsuspecting mongrels and forcing their ears forward in the manner befitting of an armchair Major at the Somme.

  91. Goerge Says:

    Or ‘she works hard for the money, so hard for the money’ when your wife is picking up her check at the DHSS?

  92. Napoleon Says:

    George – That’s just their ears going back. We’re on about when they get folded in on ’emselves, with all the pink gubbins showing through and that hairy tuft Mingles mentioned. It looks like someone’s plonked a pink, hairy turd on the side of a dog’s head.

  93. Nick T Says:

    HSBC have their own radio station…

  94. charliemingles Says:

    dog ear folding (anyone come up with a name for it yet?)

    we could be pioneers here

    *manages to avoid the ‘pion-ears’ gag. even if it was sticking up like a dogs lug waiting to be folded back*

  95. charliemingles Says:

    some (albeit weak) suggestions to start:

    canine foldback
    cunts trick
    canin-ny-ny-ny-ny -fix your fucking ears you bastard!

  96. charliemingles Says:

    george, I see you still havent sorted the original problem.

    Is this unfixable. Like a pooch behind bullet-proof glass forever taunting me with his foldyback ears?

  97. Goerge Says:

    My original problem? Oh, the fire?

  98. ihave1000mice Says:

    Oh, the fire. Yeah that little thing.

  99. Davesthermalpants Says:

    I’m 1000 mice!

  100. Goerge Says:

    The dog thing is more trouble. I’ll sort the fire out later. They’re been very understanding about it at the factory actually, the dog thing annoys them as well.

  101. Napoleon Says:

    Dave – If you are 1000 mice, you’re sicker than I thought.

  102. Goerge Says:

    Looks like I might actually get evacuated!

  103. Davesthermalpants Says:

    NC – I’m lonely, that’s all.

  104. Who Says:

    I heard the engines Goerge, they sent back up from my little village. I was out walking my non-titted dog and I saw ’em.

    God, this is much more exciting than talking about beetroot and breadcrumbs.

  105. Nick T Says:

    Fuck I missed the beetroot chat……

  106. Who Says:

    Sorry, breadcrumb. Affected by smoke inhalation, there.

  107. Goerge Says:

    That’s good to hear, who. Northampton only have three fire engines, and two of them are still pulled by horse. We’ve got a bucket chain to The Nene standing by.

  108. Who Says:

    God, there’s more chemicals in the Nene than the entire factory put together. Let me know if MFI goes up Goerge, I’ll be in there a-lootin’. I want a new kitchen.

  109. charliemingles Says:

    not the fire, who gives a fuck about the fire. the goerge/george thing, you daft twat.

    If it hadnt been for that, Id never have brought up the dog/ear/foldyback analogy and we wouldnt have had such a fascinating and informed debate in the first place.

    I hope you burn.

  110. charliemingles Says:

    dave – either you ARE 1000mice or youve read all … 109 previous comments.

    either way, you should bow your head in shame.

  111. Goerge Says:

    Cheers, Charlie! Mainly, it’s because I’m dyslexic. Though personally I blame it on Gordon Clown’s Broken Britain.

  112. Goerge Says:

    Who, where do you live mate?

  113. charliemingles Says:

  114. Nick T Says:


  115. Davesthermalpants Says:

    CM – It’s quicker to scan through 109 comments than to sit through the duration of 109 comments. Think about that whilst you sit naked in your living room eating soggy cornflakes at five in the afternoon whilst masturbating to screencaptured images of Fionna Phillips tickling Ben Shepherd.

  116. charliemingles Says:

    I really fancy fiona phillips dave/micey – how ever did you know?

    you have a womans hands!

    Nick T – just naming jazz people isnt really helpful

  117. Goerge Says:

    Oh, on the contrary we’re not actually getting evacuated but the entire business park is backed up and we’re going to be here most of the evening. Fucking office rumours.

  118. Nick T Says:

    Sorry I was just having a moment…

  119. Davesthermalpants Says:

    CM – I like the Tom Baker reference, you geeky sod.

  120. Napoleon Says:

    Says Dave! Sat in a call-centre, wasting his life and earning NOTHING, bizarrely pretending to be a woman and describing how he sucks dicks on an internet site he visits daily!

    And still he thinks he can criticise Mingles’ way o’ life!

  121. charliemingles Says:


    some filthy hoor of a woman just sent me this:

    dave/micey – a possible new recipe to add to your dry pasta perhaps?

  122. Napoleon Says:

    Delightful, Charlie.

  123. Davesthermalpants Says:

    I’ve been installing stuff onto the network this afternoon which means I couldn’t possibly have been 1000mice. It’s that simple, Perry.

    And look at your life before you attack mine. Getting paid to write for a highly succesful publication enabling you to sit on your bum all day smoking roll-ups and eating oxtail soup. You’re a bum yourself.

  124. Napoleon Says:

    Well forgive me if I got the wrong end of the stick by your admitting to being the mysterious Miss Mice, and by your not actually informing anyone you were doing whatever this ‘installing stuff onto the network’ business is. My mistake, obviously.

    As for my life? You would fucking KILL for it, Dave.

  125. charliemingles Says:

    thanks NC. I think its an outtake from ‘ready steady cook’ but I cant be absolutely certain.

    apologies dave. gah! she was a sexy burd talking about blowjobs after all.

    wheres my aubergine ….

  126. Davesthermalpants Says:

    I am sexysue67526639927363892736 though, CM.

    You and I both know what that means.

  127. charliemingles Says:

    im getting worried about you dave.

    where have you put that trident?

    On sexcond thoughts, Id rather not know

  128. charliemingles Says:

    (see above for the first ever instance of an actual freudian slip)

  129. Davesthermalpants Says:

    sexcond – Freud would have a bloody field day. And, no, I’m not flattered by that subconcious of yours. I was merely having a lark.

  130. Napoleon Says:

    Think I might pop to the Italian tonight. Get m’self a big bowl of garlic mushrooms, followed by a hand-made pizza with fresh tomato sauce, mozarella, Italian sausage, mushrooms, garlic, olive oil and fresh basil. Wash it down with a couple of ice cold Budvars, then polish off the meal with a big, thick slab of chocolate cake. Hmmmm, sounds good.

    What was it you were having tonight, Dave?

  131. charliemingles Says:

    we should get married dave.

    we are one.

    just keep your trident on your side of the bed if you dont mind.

  132. Davesthermalpants Says:

    NC – Pfft. Fried luncheon meat and Super Noodles until the ship sails in tomorrow.

  133. charliemingles Says:

    Daves having aubergine surprise – with pasta

  134. Napoleon Says:

    Fried luncheon meat and Super Noodles? So you don’t fancy a steak and ale pie, chips, peas, carrots, brocolli and lashings of fresh gravy; followed by hot apple crumble and custard?

  135. charliemingles Says:

    Dave – ‘Fried luncheon meat and Super Noodles until the ship sails in tomorrow.’

    Why’s that? Are you planning on meeting the sailors as they embark at the docks in your 1000mice disguise?

    Hey man, I’m not judging. Its an alernative lifestyle and you’ve got to eat.

  136. Davesthermalpants Says:

    It’s weird – the longer you go without eating properly the more repressed the appetite becomes. So eating’s become a chore now. I wouldn’t mind some Budvar though.

  137. Davesthermalpants Says:

    That’s what we mean by saying ‘the ships being run amock by 1000 mice.’

    But you’d have to ask Ms Mouse about that.

  138. charliemingles Says:

    well, I’ve got to chew on something Dave. that bastard Napoleon has got me ravenous now. apple pie and custard – the bastard. Ive got to go out and buy some now.

  139. Napoleon Says:

    You wouldn’t mind some Budvar? Well I was only planning on drinking a couple, but now you’ve said that, I might just spend all night getting pissed on lashings of the stuff. Lovely, lovely Budvar. Hmmmm.

  140. Davesthermalpants Says:

    I’ll be in the pub tomorrow night with some Deuchars or Greene King so don’t concern yourself with my beer consumption. I drink manly imperial-born ales, you European fairy.

  141. Napoleon Says:

    European? From the man who spent the other night in a Belgian bar? Get knotted, you ghostly, luncheon meat-eating gonad.

    *eats something expensive Dave can’t afford*

  142. Davesthermalpants Says:

    Yeah, but they were the kind of potent beers you get served by militant waiters that mistake the stuff for wine. Not supermarket trash like Budvar.

  143. Napoleon Says:

    Supermarket trash? So what, Dave, you manage to eke out what’s left of your wages to partake of a small glass of Grimbergen, and you reckon that entitles you to look down your nose at a classic Czech lager? Right you are.

    ‘Supermarket trash’ is crap like Carling, you fucking idiot.

  144. daveselectricblanket Says:

    Perry: ‘Ooooh, look at that Budvar logo! Look how sophisticated I am buying something that’s essentially Budweiser (a tasteless beverage) but the original Czech one. Ooooh. I may go knock this up a notch next week and buy some Michelob’ – The voice of B P Perry.

  145. charliemingles Says:

    Napoleon, can you do some more of your M&S food porno talk until I can make it to the supermarket. I’ll just imagine it’s 1000mice doing the voice.


    *lies back*

  146. Napoleon Says:

    Well that shows your bloody ignorance, Dave. They nicked the name, fool, not the recipe. Try doing a bit of research, and you’ll find the piss-weak, rice-ridden shit the Yanks call ‘Budweiser’ bears no similarity to the premium Czech lager bar the name.

    And for your information, smartarse, I prefer Velvet (you’ll have to look that one up, fuckwit) to Budvar. I was saying I was having Budvar tonight because that’s one of only two Czech lagers my local Italian serves.

    It’s always entertaining arguing with someone who knows fuck all about anything apart from children’s television shows. Try getting your facts straight before you play with the big boys next time. Twit.

  147. Goerge Says:

    I always thought the names were just a co-incidence. You learn something new everyday.

  148. Who Says:

    Phew you’re safe, Goerge. Have you still picking charred remains of carpet out of your ears?

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