Studio Line


It’s okay, even though it seems like last week this advert is 22 years old…

Finished throwing up yet?


Done now?


I thought I’d mention something about this quite amazing piece of advertising because, for some reason, whenever I heard the word ‘L’Oreal’ (and without wishing to go into detail, for work reasons I do) my mind always automatically responds with ‘S-S-S-S-Studio Line’ then the final part of this commercial mentally reveals itself to me like vagina dentata. Specifically, the models bursting through the desperately 80s styled wall, miming playing instruments with less conviction than Julian Sands doing Hamlet in jelly.

That last part is possibly the most irritating thing ever, and I mean ever, put on television.

But I’m finding it hard to criticise it. Twenty-two years later I can still remember the fucker as if it was yesterday. Every drop of the advert is in me. It lives inside me like some sort of dreadful turd I can’t shit out.

That, sadly, is the point of advertising. To make a brand stick in the mind by foul means or fair and whilst this advert seems harmless enough, maybe I’m now convinced beyond doubt that the makers of the ad deliberately ballsed up the ending in order to make us (me) recall the product via inexplicable anger at the sheer naffness of it all.

Moonpig, anyone?

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106 Responses to “Studio Line”

  1. Swineshead Says:

    But their hair looks so good!

  2. piqued Says:

    …but the ending, THE FUCKING ENDINGSZ

  3. Swineshead Says:

    I like it.

  4. piqued Says:

    u dirty man

  5. Napoleon Says:

    I bought some of that wet look gel off of the back of this advert, and …


    If you’ll excuse me a moment …

  6. piqued Says:

    It worked, you do look a bit wet

  7. Dave Says:

    The ‘Garnier’ one makes me aroused though.

  8. ugeine Says:

    Just reading the words ‘moonpig’ means that sound clip is playing in my head on repeat. Considering that I’ve spent most of the morning humming Moonlight sonatra and having that bit out of ‘mate of the bloke’ by half man half biscuit (I’m lost without an inside pocket) my head sounds like some very surreal type music thing.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    The only thing that’s wet about Nap (our pal Napoleon’s new nickname) is his trousers. HE’S PISSED HIMSEN!

  10. Dave Says:

    Canderel in the morning,
    Canderel in the evening,
    Canderel at supper time.

  11. Swineshead Says:

    What day is it today?


    That’s my Crisp & Dry day!
    Any day can be a Friday
    When you fry with Crisp….

    …and Dry!

    *plays guitar*

  12. Napoleon Says:

    I must say I’m a bit overwhelmed by this nickname business. I’ve never had a nickname before. You only got a nickname at school if people liked you. I was a CUNT at school wot nobody liked, so never got given one, not by nobody. I feel a bit touched.

    *shakes leg*

    It’s only when the piss goes cold that it gets upleasant.

  13. Swineshead Says:

    Nap needs a nappy…. pass it on.

  14. piqued Says:

    Yes, you are a bit touched

  15. Napoleon Says:

    Touched by genius?

    Thought not.

  16. piqued Says:

    I think ‘Nappers’ is more chummy

  17. piqued Says:

  18. piqued Says:

  19. Dave Says:

    I’ve made my own minature ‘Nap’ out of Blu Tack and Ludo counters for when my internet goes down.

    I may pop it on Dragons Den after I’ve had my uses from it….

  20. Napoleon Says:

    ‘Nappers’? That’s worse. What’s wrong with ‘Napoleon’? Or ‘Perry’, or ‘Ben’ or ‘BPP’, or ‘NC’, or ‘NP’? I’m being called so many things now, I’m in danger of forgetting who the hell I am.

  21. piqued Says:

    Hey hey hey chilowt nappersz

  22. ugeine Says:

    NPs name is Perry? From now on I will read everything you say in the style of Chandler from friends. It’s just the way my brain works, you see.

  23. piqued Says:

    This is fucking hilarious

  24. Nick T Says:

    Maybe it’s Maybeline?

  25. Who Says:

    Are we decided on Nappers? I rather like Benny….

  26. Sarah Bear xxx Says:

    Benjamin Perrywinkle the Third

  27. charliemingles Says:

    sarah. are you as ugly as you appear on your shite dating website?

  28. Swineshead Says:

    Hmmm. Sarah Bear – are you Dave in disguise or one of this silent minority who keep making themselves known?

  29. charliemingles Says:

    its just spam SH. send her down the hole quick!

  30. Swineshead Says:

    Not sure it is – she joined in the conversation. Spam’s only spam when the message is completely redundant. She took the piss out of Nappers, which is essential.

  31. Sarah Bear xxx Says:

    I agree with Swineshead, Charlie Mingles – I’m not spam. I think!


  32. Napoleon Says:

    It seems grossly unfair that I recieve two shit nicknames in one day.

    Ugeine – No need to imagine what I sound like – go to the first WWM podcast and I’m the one wot sounds like an uncouth yobbo with terminal throat cancer.

    Perry’s not even my real surname, by the way. It was foisted on me by my step-father when I was eight.

  33. ugeine Says:

    Yeah, I heard the podcast, it was most amusing. It’s just the way my mind works. I actually meant to type ‘perry (Dr. Cox) from Scrubs’, don’t know why I put chandler.

  34. Swineshead Says:

    Ugeine – because your mind has been ruined by third-rate American comedy?

  35. Sarah Bear xxx Says:

    I love Scrubs! Zack Braff is well hot and funny!

    I want to marry him!!!!!


  36. Who Says:

    Dating website? Does it accept hairy toothless occasional lesbians with over-long toenails?

    *submits application*

  37. piqued Says:

    Sarah xxx Bear is Dave being twat

    What do you think Nappers

  38. Sarah Bear xxx Says:

    You only ticked the one box, Who.

  39. Swineshead Says:

    I can find out… hold on.

  40. Napoleon Says:

    I’ll bet it’s Dave up to his strange tricks again.

  41. Dave Says:

    Just got back from a team meeting. What we all talking about then?

  42. Swineshead Says:

    I’ll not bother then… that was more transparent than clingfilm, Dave.

  43. Who Says:

    Hah! The old ‘it’s not me, I’ve been in a meeting’ ploy.


  44. ugeine Says:

    I agree with Dave, I’d happily marry Zac Braff.

  45. Dave Says:

    This is one of the darker hours of my life…

  46. Napoleon Says:

    Who’s Zac Braff? I assume, with a name like that, that he’s an American?

  47. piqued Says:

    Hardly a ‘strange trick’ Derren Brown does ‘strange tricks’

    Dave just tits about

  48. ugeine Says:

    He’s the star of Scrubs, P-Dawg:

  49. Napoleon Says:

    Strange as in pretending to be a lady strange, Piqued.

  50. Swineshead Says:

    After sitting through Garden State, I’d happily bludgeon him.

  51. ugeine Says:

    God, SH, you actually watched one of his movies?

  52. Dave Says:

    Garden State: The Fight Club for a lost generation they called it. How that worked I’ll never know. Great visual metaphor with the wallpaper though for the promotion. That wasn’t done in the film TOYS one bit.

  53. Swineshead Says:

    Just a horrible, cloying film.

    Ugeine – I think that film was the final nail in the coffin of me ever believing promotional material ever again.

  54. charliemingles Says:

    it’s quite sadly telling that when a potentially attractive young woman joins our ranks we all immediately ( and what’s even worse, correctly) assume it’s just Dave.

    My nine-year-old neice Phoebe fancies Zak Braff. that should put it in context. Also scubs is her favourite show. shes only just moved on from those Bratz dolls.

  55. Napoleon Says:

    Still no bloody idea who you’re talking about.

  56. ugeine Says:

    Has a sitcom actor actually ever had a decent role in a film? Apart from Lisa Kurdow in Analyse this, of course. My three favourite DeNiro films are Analyse This, Analyse That and Meet The Parents.

  57. Dave Says:

    Ugeine – Michael ‘the J’ Fox. Twice.

  58. Napoleon Says:

    Sid James was good as Sid in Carry On Henry where he played the lead role of Sid VIII, Ugeine.

  59. Swineshead Says:

    James Bolam AND Rodney Bewes were pretty good in The Likely Lads movie, Ugeine.
    And Ronnie Barker did a great job playing Fletcher in the Porridge film.

  60. Dave Says:

    Is Moonlighting a sitcom, or just a ‘shit’com?

    Bruce Willis.

  61. ugeine Says:

    Maybe it’s just recent sitcom actors that blow at proper acting.

  62. Swineshead Says:

    John Cleese was great in all the Python movies.

  63. Napoleon Says:

    John Le Mesurier in Jabberwocky. Arthur Lowe in those Lindsay Anderson films that are really fucking weird.

  64. Swineshead Says:

    I’d say Moonlighting is a Comedy/Drama. ‘Coma’, for short.

  65. Dave Says:

    Shia LaBeuf came from kid’s sitcom Even Stevens.

  66. Swineshead Says:

    Martin Freeman was an alright Arthur Dent. I quite enjoyed that film, apart from the geek-girl beside me who insisted on screeching out quotes before they’d even been said, the twat.

  67. A Female who is definitely not ugeine (not at all) Says:

    McKenzie Crook was great in the Pirates Trilogy ugeine.

  68. Swineshead Says:

    Shyer The Beef is shit, Dave.

  69. Napoleon Says:

    There’s also Taxi wot give us Christopher Lloyd and Danny De Vito.

  70. charliemingles Says:

    david Hyde Pierce the comedy genius from Frasier ( a show much-beloved on this very site) has done many serious roles, I believe. In fact, most of the best actors in sitcom in america these days do drama and comedy. ( cant be bothered listing them though)

    wayne knight ( newman from seinfeld) famously starred in that scene from basic instinct where sharon exposes her disappointingly pink powder-puffed privates.

  71. Dave Says:

    Yes. But we are talking about good roles here, and that lad must have sucked an awful lot of Michael Bay sausage, whilst tickling Lucas’s wobbly thunderbir 2 of a throat.

  72. Napoleon Says:

    He’s alright in Transformers, Swineshead. Not so greta in Indiana Jones. Mind you, nobody was that great in that film.

  73. Swineshead Says:

    He did, Mingles. He also got eaten by a velociraptor (sp) in Jurassic Park.

  74. ugeine Says:

    Maybe I haven’t a clue of which I speak then.

  75. Napoleon Says:

    Frank Spencer was good in Condorman too.

  76. Dave Says:

    John Lithgow??

    He did it the wrong way round.

  77. charliemingles Says:

    Im in pain even watching wayne knight talking in some Seinfeld episodes he is so fat.

  78. ugeine Says:

    Simon Pegg, one of my favourite people ever. Christ, I need to think before I type more.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    There’s also Woody Harrelson (however you spell it) off of Cheers.

  80. Dave Says:

    Christina Applegate.

    Wait, no….

  81. ugeine Says:

    Do Matt Stone and Trey Parker count? Oh, did anybody watch the new South Park?

  82. Dave Says:

    Lenny Henry starred in a one film as an unconvincing American hoodlum. What was that called?

  83. Napoleon Says:

    Was that the one where he was made up as Steve Martin? That was hideous AND racist (I think).

  84. Dave Says:

    Oh, and for fucks sake, Robin Williams…

    Mork was originally a character on Happy Days. Did you like that one, Piqued? That was trivia.

  85. Barry Norman's Pickled Onions Says:

    Charlie Sheen.

  86. charliemingles Says:

    Lenny henry seems like a nice man. but hes never been funny once in his life. not even by mistake.

    Katanga! Listen to the funny voices of the old jamaican woman/man. hilarious lenny. tell us about your days subverting the black and white minstrels from within. I believe PW Botha employed the same principle in south africa.

  87. Swineshead Says:

    I can’t remember Dave – he whited up for it, didn’t he? I think he did.

    Condorman was the best film of the 80s.

  88. Dave Says:

    That’s the one, Swineshead. Utterly terrible ‘American’ attitude to race and class, it was. One of the worst films I’ve ever seen actually.

  89. Dave Says:

    Will Smith.

    You’re all racist for missing him off.

  90. Napoleon Says:

    I already said he whited up. Whited up as Steve Martin. It was called Live & Unleashed and was a mix of his shitty live show and a caper-type scenario.

  91. Napoleon Says:

    Sorry, True Identity is probably the one you’re thinking of.

  92. Dave Says:

    NC – It was about a black man infiltrating the krazy world of white aristocracy by dressing up as an unconvincing white man. It’s a blur in my head but I’m sure that’s right.

  93. Swineshead Says:

    Dave – it was called ‘True Identity’ and, if memory serves, he whited up for it.


  94. Napoleon Says:

    No. He was an actor passing himself off as a white mobster, Dave. I’m getting his Steve Martin mixed up with the white man in thsi film. He did do Steve Martin, mind (maybe in this film).

  95. Napoleon Says:


  96. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve already fucking said it was True Identity!

  97. Napoleon Says:

    This is more publicity than the fucking film got at the time.

  98. Dave Says:

    I hate Lenny Henry and his bloody Travelodge adverts.

  99. charliemingles Says:

    I havent seen Cocks! is it any good

    Im waiting for cocks 2.

  100. Dave Says:

    I guess we could say we unmasked the ‘True Identity’ of the hit Lenny Henry film ‘True Identity’, called ‘True Identity’, this afternoon, guys.

  101. Dave Says:

    ‘Im waiting for cocks 2.’

    Is that the prequel to Three Willy?

    (It’s okay, I’ll be gone in ten minutes).

  102. charliemingles Says:

    well, its was better than my joke dave.

  103. Swineshead Says:


  104. Dave Says:

    I genuinely think I have some weird obsessive-compulsive order when it comes to posting on WWM though. It can’t be healthy, look what it’s done to the holy trinity we call the founders.

  105. ugeine Says:

    I’m thinking of downloading Piano Sonata No. 14 by Beethoven but I’m worried illegal downloads may effect the artist.

    Oh, wait…

  106. Joanne Says:

    That advert is as old as I am so it’s new to me but my God does it make me want to go and buy Studioline.

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