One Minute Review: Argumental

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This new comedy panel game is the first of Dave’s home-grown output, I think. I suppose they’re going to run out of QI and Top Gear repeats eventually, so it seems prudent to start making some of their own stuff.

This is rubbish though. Lovely old buffer John Sergeant as the host just looks pleased to be back on telly again and is either a better actor than I thought or genuinely finds these twats amusing.

The idea is this: two teams of two comedians. John gives them a subject to argue for or against. The audience vote for who is the winner.

It’s taken one of the rounds from Mock The Week and made a whole series out of it. I guess these things really stand or fall on the quality of the comedians and the two team captains, Marcus Brigstocke and Rufus Hound, just aren’t funny enough to carry it in my view.

The arrogant notion that you can be hilarious just by standing up and improvising can be quashed by going to any comedy night and seeing some dick trying it on stage. You can tell who’s laughing in the audience – it’ll be either drama students or pished under 21’s.

Some people can do it excellently, of course. I’m not really a fan of Mock The Week, but I think some of the guys on that do it fairly well. The master, for me, is the peerless Paul Merton. But it’s not nearly as easy as it looks, as anyone tuning into this forgetable rubbish will find out.

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94 Responses to “One Minute Review: Argumental”

  1. Dave Says:

    Marcus Brigstocke was excellent on BBC THREE doing his Daily Show robbing thingy.

  2. PTH Says:

    And on CBBC’s Stupid!.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    I quite like him too. But Hound is a strange one. Did he used to do stand up? I only know him from list shows, Top of The Pops and Richard & Judy’s new show.

  4. Dave Says:

    Yeah. Some arse took his role as the King of Stupid! The worst day of my life, that was.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    ooh look!

    The ‘Cool List’ is out?

    WHO’S COOL WHO’S KEWL!>?!?

    Am I on it?!

    http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?blog=10&title=nme_cool_list_2010&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1

  6. badgermadge Says:

    Likewise Merton was shite in that ITV improv show

  7. Swineshead Says:

    Yes, BM – BUT HOO IS KEWL

  8. Dave Says:

    SO MIA, JAY-Z and DIZZEE RASCAL are cool for militant indie-pop fans now? Is that because they have indie-style wardrobes? Arses.

  9. badgermadge Says:

    oh jeez. i’ve heard of about four of them…

  10. Swineshead Says:

    Since I can remember, indie mags have championed hip hop, Dave – it’s nowt new.

  11. badgermadge Says:

    maybe I’M kewl for not knowing about woos kewl…?

    no?

  12. Dave Says:

    They’re token acts though, aren’t they? It doesn’t add up.

    I stumbled upon a free NME bash in Manchester last months and everyone wore neon coloured shit and sunglasses indoors. The music was dull n’all.

  13. Swineshead Says:

    I don’t understand how ‘cool’ works, BM – so I’m at a loss on that one. Does that make me cool?

  14. badgermadge Says:

    Let’s just say we’re both cool. Can we?

    Huh?

    Can we?

    Seriously though: 6 of the top 30 I’ve heard of…

  15. Dave Says:

    Why has ‘cool’ remained yet ‘rude’ hasn’t? Jay-Z’s a real rude dude, the second rudest dude according to NME readers.

  16. badgermadge Says:

    how odd. just commented and clicked submit and it’s gone.

    ahem.

    let’s just say we’re both cool.

    can we?

    huh?

    but seriously, i’ve heard of 6 in the top 30…

  17. badgermadge Says:

    argh!

  18. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve heard of about three o’ these buggers. And I couldn’t seem to find our power-lifting friend anywhere on the list. A mistake NME will no doubt pay for in blood.

  19. Dave Says:

    It’s come up twice which makes you look distinctively uncool, BM.

  20. ugeine Says:

    As if putting Jay Z at number 2 makes up for all that borderline racist shit that was flying out of their magazine in the summer. Apart from that, it’s the standard list of new bands they’re championing (Cystal Castles) people that have been in the magazine a lot, and people who they’re trying to cotton on to for some indie cred points (MGMT).

  21. Napoleon Says:

    And where are all the nurses? The lesbian nurses in stocking and suspenders? They’re far cooler than this scruffy bunch of kids nobody’s heard of.

  22. ugeine Says:

    Me and my university friends used to call it the NME ‘fool’ list. Christ, we were cutting edge.

  23. badgermadge Says:

    yup. officially uncool.

    dammit.

  24. Napoleon Says:

    I don’t get the point of this list. What’s it for?

  25. ugeine Says:

    Napoleon, it shows a list of who the readers of the NME consider to be the 50 coolest people in pop music. Been cool is obviously a very important part of indie culture, a trend that dates back to the chorus from 1986 classic by The Smiths ‘coolest kid in school’: she / was the coolest girl in school / and she likes me / woah yeah / so that makes me / the coolest kid in school / coolest kid in school.

  26. Napoleon Says:

    So there’s no point to it at all then? Fair enough. I’ll go back to reading about clean ‘n’ jerks, abs and rocking with the Brothers of Iron in the U S of fucking A.

  27. ugeine Says:

    Like 95% of the output of the current incarnation of the NME, it’s pointless. To think, I spent ten minutes reading that in which I could have been increasing my meat consumption tenfold.

  28. Dave Says:

    NME is all pictures as well. Pictures of bands standing outside walls looking angsty, sitting on rocks being angsty or holding ellaborate props being angsty on a road in London somewhere.

    And, to think, I’ve never stumbled into a band standing against a brickwall once yet, according to these magazines, they’re like rats. Scarfed rats.

  29. charliemingles Says:

    Sorry, been off both living and indeed lifting. have I missed anything? Can anyone bench 200?

  30. ugeine Says:

    It seems to be going through a very patronising ‘you were there, we were there too’ period. At least that’s better then the faux indie scenester snob façade that some of their writers try and propagate.

  31. Nick T Says:

    I liked Brigstocks “I’ve never seen Star Wars” on Radio 4.

    I thought ‘Mock was scripted, has to be.

  32. Dave Says:

    There was a day when I thought panel shows were recorded as live and that was just how fast and witty the guests were. The fact they chisel it down from an hour, script jokes and rehearse the rounds beforehand make me want to cry.

  33. piqued Says:

    Why Dave? It’s fucking hard being spontaneously funny; stand ups have to rehearse their material, actors have to learn lines etc., If you’re going on a panel show then it’s only going to work if you’ve some idea of the topic to prepare material. The fact they edit out your shit bits makes it even better for all concerned.

  34. charliemingles Says:

    well, okay, littleboots is very cute looking. But no 35 in the cool list? fuck off. someone at the NME just wants to fuck her.

    having said all of that, the only other one id heard of was robert plant.

    Since Ive discovered live and lift my life has changed and I no longer have time for such things.

    Clean ‘n’ Jerk dudes!

  35. ugeine Says:

    If you’re a professional comedian, surely you would thrive in the panel show environment? I really doubt they script everything before hand, more likely have some kind of meeting where they go over what subjects they’ll touch on.

  36. Swineshead Says:

    – Is this to do with the Brand / Ross scandal?
    – Yes, two points to Ian for remembering that from rehearsal. Now do that bit where you slag off Russell Brand like you did in the practice run.

    *audience laughs*

  37. charliemingles Says:

    PS: Live n lift for jesus. Live n lift for the lord.

    10 hail marys and 200 quad thrusts.

  38. Dave Says:

    I know, Piqued. But it’s like learning Santa Claus doesn’t exist. You still get the presents but the magic’s gone.

  39. Napoleon Says:

    *bench-presses furiously*

    What the FUCK are you looking at?

  40. extremelisteningmode Says:

    The title gave it away for me. Just trying way, way too hard.

    And….no, I can’t…..but still…..JOHN SERGEANT GETS ON MY TITS. There, i said it. With his silly little bulldog drinking a can of condensed milk smug face, his jowls – jowls are evil – the fact that unfunny people seem to think pointing out he looks like Jo Brand is the height of contemporary comedy, everything. Git.

    Oh, and the NME cool list; they had the drummer from the Fratellis in it two years ago. Says more than my words ever could, that there.

  41. piqued Says:

    U, of course it’s not all scripted.

    But they will have time to prepare ‘jokes’ or witticisms. As for the use of the word ‘thrive’, no, ‘shit yourself’ is more appropriate, doesn’t matter how many times you do it, everyone gets green in varying degrees.

  42. Napoleon Says:

    Piqued – What the FUCK are YOU looking at?

  43. ugeine Says:

    Fair enough. Does this count for all panel shows? For instance, I’d imagine Ian Hislop and Paul Merton don’t need as much background work as hamster boy from Mock the week. Also, for instance some moments in Buzzcocks, such as the Donny Tourette episode and the Preston episode, they would have been spontaneous as they wouldn’t have known how that was going to pan out until it started getting recorded?

  44. piqued Says:

    Nothing

    (your pecs, I wished I had pecs like that)

  45. Dave Says:

    MTW is all pre-rehearsed but HIGNFY surely has some improvised moments.

    Are you going to tell me Who’s Line Is It Anyway was all pre-written as well, you fascist?

  46. Napoleon Says:

    A particularly good line from our musclebound friend …

    “Goin to see Dark Knight at IMAX theatre tomorrow, then dynamic squats on friday.”

    FUCK, YEAH!

  47. ugeine Says:

    We can’t have our man watching films in a normal cinema. He’s way too EXTREME, he couldn’t fit through the door. His local Imax has weights attached to the sides of the chair and a George Forman grill stuck on at the front.

  48. piqued Says:

    U, yes of course. As said (again) it’s not all scripted. Have I got News for requires a lot more planning than Mock the Week btw.

    The examples you cite with DT and Preston, they’re not stand ups, subsequent comments made by comics were off the cuff, not really hard to get a laugh out of their behaviour.

  49. ugeine Says:

    Fair doos. Shows what I know!

  50. ugeine Says:

    This poor bastard is going to be checking his traffic for his blog and think to himself ‘God, I managed to get 2000% more hits then I usually do’.

  51. Napoleon Says:

    I like his aside that he’s watching the new Rambo. I bet he loved the new Rambo.

  52. Who Says:

    He carries his own grill in a rucksack and an emergency rack of ribs on board at all times – just in case his darn energy levels start hittin’ a slide

    EXTREME

  53. charliemingles Says:

    hey napoleon – great deltoids dude. nice definition.

    *benching, like, 480*

  54. Napoleon Says:

    I bet he punches cows to the ground, tears off their heads with his bare hands, then barbecues and eats their entire carcasses. Then he squats a 405 whilst watching a Westside squat video in the nude.

    This man is a true American legend.

  55. Napoleon Says:

    Thanks, Mingles. I’ve been putting in the hours down at Gold’s. I’m taking the Prowler’s punishment, and throwing it right back in that motherfucker’s face, yeah?

  56. Dave Says:

    Remember It’s Only TV But I Like It? That was a good show.

  57. Napoleon Says:

    “The prowler did a job on me and punished me for my vacation last week full of fried food and booze. Just when i thought i was out of the gym, i puked in the parking lot. Serves me right for taking a week off.”

    You couldn’t make it up!

  58. ugeine Says:

    Hey guys, I’m planning a 600 mile round trip to the logistics warehouse that makes The BeefCake Protein Shake tm. I bet I could get some completely ripped photos outside the window. Anybody want to come?

  59. Dave Says:

    What’s a prowler? I thought it was a sexual deviant who watched women from bushes. What’s this guy doing with one? Lifting it, no doubt, but why?

  60. Who Says:

    When are we doing war on Maconie, Napoleon? Is it supposed to be starting tomorrow? Because I don’t think I can concentrate – my little fluffy head is all full of images of perfect abs.

  61. ugeine Says:

    Trust a puny little MAGGOT like dave not to know what the prowler is, only one of the most kick ass and awesome weightlifting machines.

    http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?m=PD&pid=1006

  62. Napoleon Says:

    Yeah, Dave! Reedy little WORMS like you should be CRUSHED for your ignorance. Crushed beneath the mighty weights of the awesome Prowler!

  63. Napoleon Says:

    Who – I’ve postponed my game until next week. I’m too busy doing Speed Box Squats and DB Side Bends to get involved with any of that SHIT.

  64. ugeine Says:

    Don’t just take my word for it, ask the people at elite fitness training:

    The Prowler is one of the best ways to develop strength in your legs, hips and arms. The Prowler can be used in team situations and competitions and make for a great atmosphere. There is an added feature which allows for weight plates to be added for increased resistance.

    Now for the real stuff

    Now that we have the store copy written, let’s get to the real info. We were told about the prowler and dismissed it as just another sled.

    That is until we used it

    Let’s put it this way. After two 15 yard trips pushing the Prowler with the top handles and two more sets with the bottom handle, we were done.

  65. Napoleon Says:

    This machine SHITS on other sleds.

  66. Napoleon Says:

    “For the second time in 3 weeks i puked after the lifting session. This time it wasn’t in the nice toilet at the gym, but rather on the way home. About 10 minutes into the drive home I had to pull into an empty parkinglot, mostly peanut butter, water and banana. Afterwards, i fed my weiry mind with some of Jeck’s First Works on CD. Seemed to help.”

    It was WORTH it.

  67. ugeine Says:

    He has to be the first all action, squat thrusting, rock singing, borderline bulimic blogger in the whole blogesphere.

  68. Napoleon Says:

    No wonder he needed to buy the George Foreman Fuck-Yeah Super-Sport Griller 5000 EXTREME if that was his diet.

  69. Napoleon Says:

    “Missed breakfast, but had a handmade turkey BLT for lunch, PB&Banana for dinner and now having a Quest Whey 44 w/ milk along w/ a gallon of water.”

    A GALLON OF WATER!

  70. Napoleon Says:

    “Upon finishing, i was met with about 10 minutes of “near-blackout” while stumbling around the parkinglot, gasping for air and finally laying down on the concrete. This is what i have not felt in years, not since running “hills” or gassers in highschool football some 8-10 years ago. Even before driving home I had to sit in the drivers seat for a few minutes to contain myself enough to safetly operate a car.

    I will attempt to do this to myself each workout. Push my body past the point of comfort, push my muscles past the point of failure.”

    !

  71. Dave Says:

    ‘turkey BLT’

    A TLT then?

    Americans…

  72. ugeine Says:

    Aaaaah! Followed by what, a drum of ice cream? A barrel of yoghurt? A tanker of peanut butter?

    This man is a God!

  73. ugeine Says:

    ‘push my muscles past the point of failure.”’

    I want that engraved on my tombstone.

    ‘Must… push…harder…must…not…fail…no…the prowler…can’t…take..much…throwing..up…dizzy…

  74. Napoleon Says:

    I bet he drags out his innards every night and thrashes ’em against a wall.

  75. Dave Says:

    Can your heart fail if you do too many dynamic squats? You hear stories about slight heart defects cropping up and then BOOM it’s over. No remorse.

  76. Swineshead Says:

    A TLT!

    That made me laugh.

    He sounds like he’s actually killing himself, the pissy fucking PUSSY.

  77. charliemingles Says:

    those excerpts are superb napoleon. what a twat.

  78. Swineshead Says:

    I bet he drags out his innards every night and thrashes ‘em against a wall.

    I bet he does. The pussy.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    Dave – I reckon he’d die with a grin on his massive face. He’s doing what he loves, and that’s how we all want to go out, yeah? PUSHING THE FUCKING BURN!

  80. Nick T Says:

    Ahem….

  81. ugeine Says:

    How was everybody’s evening then? I drank a bathtub of milk and did 600 squats, ended up passing out in the shower. Got this kick ass knock on my head.

  82. Dave Says:

    I think Swineshead’s far too taken with last eve’s glorious post-racial Democratic victory to type a post, the lazy bastard. This is why we neet more racist Republicans writing for WWM.

  83. Napoleon Says:

    *pukes in the parking lot*

    Hell, yeah!

    What’s going on in ‘ere then? There’s meant to be funny pictures to give you all a laff.

  84. Nick T Says:

    This machismo marine talk is going right over my head.

    I guess some dead head made some comments but I can’t be asrsed to look.
    I found a strange stie called backtype.com or rather it found me.
    Anyone?

  85. ugeine Says:

    Nick: http://www.liftenlive.wordpress.com. Blog of the year.

  86. Nick T Says:

    Not a blog, just an application form.

    I greatly enjoyed Bete’s battle with the Scottish scammer from yesterday.

  87. Who Says:

    I’ve been feeding raw offal in through my nostrils all morning – pigs and lambs hearts – still beatin’, yeah

    HARDCORE

  88. Dave Says:

    So. When will the real Obama, an evil terrorist muslim, unmask himself to the world? I reckon he’s building an entire force of fist-jabbing droids to conquer the Guardian reading lot of you!

  89. Nick T Says:

    I have done this

    http://nicktann.blogspot.com/2008/11/celebrity-cum.html

    Just trying to help out

  90. Clarry Says:

    “This machine SHITS on other sleds.”

    Heh hehehheh…

  91. charliemingles Says:

    http://pushjelly.blogspot.com/2008/11/america-now-only-half-racist.html

    I was half-way through writing a satire on this, but he always does it much better than I could.

  92. badgermadge Says:

    wow. a whole day with no new posts…

  93. Nick T Says:

    I made one especially.
    Don’t know why I bother…..

  94. ugeine Says:

    I read it! It was good Nick.

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