NewsGush – Best Bond

by

I’ve never been one for your James Bond rubbish. Bond’s a slimy sod, I reckon – whether we’re talking back in the Connery era or, more recently, the Brosnan epoch. And this Daniel Craig version doesn’t appeal. He may be all sensitive now but he’s still an overdressed ponce schmoozing about and killing innocent terrorists.

The only Bond film I’ve ever sat through was a Roger Moore one. At least ol’ Rog bought some chuckles to proceedings.

But what do I know? Apparently, the latest Bond is the biggest ever.

Quantum of Solace has captured a record opening for a Bond film at the North American box office, with takings of more than $70m (£47.4m).

Am I missing out on something great? Or is Bond a load of balls?

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37 Responses to “NewsGush – Best Bond”

  1. ugeine Says:

    I’ve never seen the appeal. Even when I was a kid, the old Bond seemed like a kind of ‘Carry On action star’, with his womanizing and smug witty one liners. Now this new one has the above taken away, and it’s even blander. I remember watching the first one with Craig and not been able to recall a single plot point a mere 20 minutes after watching it.

  2. Swineshead Says:

    More importantly, have any porn films ever used a James Bond theme?
    I’m sure there must be one or two out there…

    The Spy Who Loved DP
    Goldfingering
    The Man With The Golden Buns

  3. Do I not like that! Says:

    I have worked abroad quite a bit and noticed the popularity of James Bond abroad. The reason I think is quite simple, (apart from the obvious, Bond girls, fast cars,gadgets, glamourous locations etc) and that is it is good old fashioned secret agent v treacherous enemy WITHOUT alluding to international stereotypes. Even though the Russians I understand are a bit upset by the current Bond film, Bond has avoided evil Nazi’s and the traditional enemies. It is basically fun and for the most part inoffensive. That is my humble opinion anyway and I do not necessarily think I am correct but it is a theory I have as to it’s popularity. I quite enjoy James Bond films.

  4. Napoleon Says:

    As you know, I’m a Bond fan (Roger being ‘my’ Bond, and still my favourite to this day), so don’t agree that Bond is a load of balls. That said, Brosnan made one decent Bond which wasn’t that brilliant, most of Connery’s ones are racist, sexist and dire, Dalton’s were po-faced, Moore’s were like Carry On films and this new chap’s aren’t half as good as everyone’s saying they are (principally because the only thing they’ve done to make it ‘edgier’ is steal everything half-decent from the Bourne trilogy). The only really, really good one starred the shittest Bond of all – George Lazenby.

    So, erm, yes … they’re all balls. But entertaining balls for all that. Wild Geese balls. Sea Wolves balls. Bank holiday balls, if you will.

  5. Do I not like that! Says:

    Nap the one decent Brosnan film I presume you are referring to is “Die another Day”. (I saw some of that being filmed in Cadiz which was supposed to be Havana).

  6. Napoleon Says:

    Fuck that! Die Another Day was dire. I was referring to Goldeneye, DINLT. After that, his Bonds descended in to a stinking mire.

  7. Swineshead Says:

    I was in Cadiz in September, young Mikey. Lovely town, so it is (the old bit anyway).

  8. Swineshead Says:

    Goldeneye was good on the N64. You could have a four-way.

    Not seen the film.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    PS – I’ve not seen any Bourne films.

  10. Do I not like that! Says:

    It’s a fantastic place eh! Like an island..I know the town pretty well. Restaurante El Faro is heartily recommended!

  11. Swineshead Says:

    ‘ang on – are you in Spain then?
    Do you know Canos De Meca at all?

  12. Napoleon Says:

    Goldeneye was fucking excellent on the N64. I bought an N64 on the strength of Goldeneye, then spent quite a long time wondering why I’d bought an N64. I suppose Mario Kart 64, Ocarina of Time and Mario 64 went some way to justifying the purchase. Just not all the way to being worth the money it cost.

  13. Swineshead Says:

    Mario Kart was good but it was mainly a shit console.

    I’m weighing up getting myself a christmas PS3 or Xbox – what should I get?

    Also, is anyone here on Blip? It’s quite good (I think).

    http://blip.fm/invite/swineshead

  14. Do I not like that! Says:

    Si por supuesto. Cerca Zahara de los atunes.

  15. ugeine Says:

    SH: What kind of consoles you owned before? What do you want from a console?

  16. Swineshead Says:

    Master System, MegaDrive, PS, PS2

    I want something Mega I can Play on.

    I’ll probably opt for PS3 but I really want Dead Rising…

  17. Who Says:

    I’ve only three Bond films – Live and Let Die, The Living Daylights and Goldfinger. As I understand there are a few more in the series, I’m not really qualified to answer.

  18. Nick T Says:

    On cleaning out the garage i found an N64 with the eye of golden.
    I will be playing it xmas time along with Oddworld….

    In other news I’ve lost a stone.

  19. Badger Madge Says:

    load a balls. this bond ain’t all sensitive. he’s wooden and looks like shrek. not nice.

    http://bmtv.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/more-bourne-now-than-bond/

  20. ugeine Says:

    In these days, you’ll be able to get most games on both consoles. Apart from the price, there’s basically naff all to separate them apart from the little differences.

    I’ve had a PS & PS2 so I’m more used to the controllers on the PS3. Plus, you don’t have to pay to go online, it’s got a hard drive so you can copy music and save games to it (really insignificant but it’s a lot easier to get option files with the real kits for PS3 then xbox for Pro evolution Soccer 2009).

    Apart from that, there’s really no difference. Of course, there’s leagues of fanboys that could write pages on the differences, but you won’t really notice unless you spend about six hours plus on the thing.

    From what you’ve said, I’d go with an xbox, purely for dead rising. There’s no real reason to sacrifice playing a game you want unless I’ve listed a reason above that’ll get on your tits. Scratch that, if I were you I’d buy football manager 2009, but there we are.

  21. Swineshead Says:

    Blimey. Cheers for that, Ugeine…
    XBox is way cheaper. Half the price. but I do like the old PS2 controller…

    *is aware that most people’ll be half asleep after reading these musings*

  22. Who Says:

    Thanks Badger, that’s all I needed to know. You’ve saved me a trip, so I’ll cut you in on half the ticket – deal?

  23. ugeine Says:

    The PS2 controller is the main reason I bought the PS3. Playing with an xbox controller was like trying to dance in treacle for me. Plus it looks like a George Forman grill, and part of me still thinks there’s a secret grill or something installed that means I could play GTAIV and eat a bacon sandwich without leaving my chair.

    Plus, xbox’s live gaming network is full of racist American 13 year olds.

  24. Swineshead Says:

    *racist American 13 year olds*

    Hurrrr.

    I don’t think I’m one for this playing online business.

  25. Badger Madge Says:

    who: yeah, deal.

    eh?

  26. ugeine Says:

    Online games used to be quite good, now it’s just a bunch of arseholes. Campers, trolls and arseholes.

  27. JonR Says:

    i love Bond and hated Quantum of Solace. especially the product placement – ie a green bottle conspicuously hovering in the background of the shot while Bond explains that he enjoys his martinis made with vodka *and* Gordon’s Gin. which was fucking news to me, and i’m actually partial to a gin martini.

    oh, and Goldeneye, best game ever. rocket launchers! in the temple! now!

  28. Do I not like that! Says:

    Crumbs JonR…if we all judged films on their product placement we would not watch any at all. Mind you, everyone knows James would have only an Aston Martin.

  29. ugeine Says:

    JonR’s got a point there. Most films do feature product placement as it’s a good way of getting funds but surely axtra funds are not needed with a bond film? And it’s a classic line they’re stepping on.

  30. JonR Says:

    yeah but this was especially grating

  31. Badger Madge Says:

    in casino royale i started going thru it and noting down every time there was something product placed. i lost count tho!

  32. Lord Milky Says:

    Don’t like Bond, never have.

    Oh and I’d go for an Xbox purely because of cost. Don’t, however, go for the cheapest one. The middle one (I’m not au fait with the names for each package, I’m afraid) has everything you will need (Hard Drive etc), wheras the cheap one is lacking somewhat.

    PS3 I’d say is the superior multimedia package, but if you already have a DVD player and freeview, I don’t really think it is worth the extra expenditure for what is efectively a very similar games console.

  33. indy Says:

    the worst bonds are d craig and t dalton – aka the “dark”, “mysterious” ones who wants “revenge”. they’re taking the fun out of bond and replace it with humourless violence. bond used to be killing loads of henchmen with comedy accents in underground bases. that’s my bond.

    i recommend the scene where bond (connery) “seduces” a female assassin with a gun pointed to her head. what a hero!

  34. extremelisteningmode Says:

    The best Bond scene of all time isn’t actually in a Bond film, but in The Simpsons episode ‘You only move Twice’.

    Hank Scorpio for President!

  35. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    I’d get an Xbox – more interesting games such as Bioshock, much cheaper. Plus they push almost every game advert for Xbox, which is generally a sign that it’ll have a longer life, game release wise.

  36. John Q Wagonwheel Says:

    indy – Dalton was particularly awful just because he tried to pull off broody and came across as wimpy instead.

  37. recoder Says:

    I think most of the Connery and Moore Bond movies are highly entertaining, although if you didn’t catch them all as a child unhindered by cynicism, you probably won’t appreciate them now.

    Everything since Dalton has been fucking shit though.

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