NewsGush – Wild Celebration as Krypton Factor Returns

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Sometimes good news is so unexpected.

The Krypton Factor had almost faded into the status of legendary in its years outside of the limelight. It stood as a figurehead of a time just out of memory – something whose existence we began to question, attempting to conceive whether anything so stupendously brilliant could actually exist.

It had a bit with an assault course. It had a bit with some big puzzles and, more than that, it had a memory test. And it was all presented by Gordon Burns – an unassuming taskmaster blessed with wit, verve and tenacity.

Shame they’ve put Ben Shephard at the helm this time round. And in truth, I can’t see why this is due a return… are ITV trying to combat the Hole In The Wall fever that’s flowing through the country with a reminder of the good old days? If it’s shown on a Saturday and is up against Hole In The Wall’s might, I know which one I’ll choose when waiting for Harry Hill to start…

BRING ON THE WALL!

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61 Responses to “NewsGush – Wild Celebration as Krypton Factor Returns”

  1. Sue De Nymh Says:

    Yeah, but really it was shit, wasn’t it? It was the sort of thing that made midwinter evenings drag on forever. The only good thing about Krypton Factor is watching 20 year old repeats on cable telly and laughing at the contestant’s haircuts.
    .
    Like Hole In The Wall, you’ve seen one episode you’ve seen them all…

  2. Nick T Says:

    This used to be shit saturday night tv if I remember rightly.
    Ben Shephard is another cxelebrity who has no personality.
    It joins the ranks of Superstars and Going for Gold as rubbish remakes.

    I heard a rumour that we may also be seeing e new series of The Tomorrow People. Class

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Sue – (hooray, a new commenter! hello!) – please don’t begrudge me my moment of nostalgia before Shephard goes and pisses all over it. Watch the clip – the lady fall in da water! HAHAHAhaokjHAHAHAdWSPFJDO

    Nick – I’ve a feeling it was weekday nights but I could be wrong.

    The Superstars remake really was rubbish. Sad to see Johnny Vaughan slide further off the rails.

  4. Nick T Says:

    I thought it was saturdays on good ole LWT but I’ve had so little sleep it could have been in black and white.
    Couldn’t comment yesterday as it was too sweary so had to work!
    Thanks.

  5. Nick T Says:

    Tomorrow People though eh?

    *jaunts*

  6. Swineshead Says:

    Tomorrow People, perhaps – but the word ‘remake’ blights the concept, don’t you think?

  7. Jo Says:

    Oh they always bloody do this. & like family fortunes, I bet it’ll have a “””celebrity””” (big, massive quotation marks there) element. Why can’t they just let nostalgia do it’s bit and leave us with the memory that it was amazing TV…why do they have the reinvent it and remind us that it was actually shit?

  8. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I remember watching Krypton Factor and being totally perplexed. It was one of my first tastes of British TV. I remember thinking “that’s way weirder than even the Lenin’s University for the Masses*, but it’s even more fun!” I am really glad it’s back.
    Hello, y’all. Nice to see you.

    *there was such a program, I kid you not. Every Thursday at 18.30.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    Because there are no new ideas, Jo. Ever had a brilliant idea?

    Yes?

    NO! YOU HAVEN’T! It’s all been done before, see? So why not take something and ruin it instead of straining your brain?

  10. Swineshead Says:

    Where the bloody hell have you been, Varmint? We were worried sick.

  11. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Thank you for your concern. I’ve been living la vida loca in Cayman Islands (work-related but still fun). I tell you what – it’s bloody cold in this here country, it’s sooooo cold…
    And I’ve been watching The Wire 5 (two more episodes left), which is fast becoming my favourite season. Well, after the third.
    You’ve been well, I trust?

  12. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve been happily watching readership figures dwindle, attacking an Observer columnist whilst furious about something else, making it impossible for Nick T to comment because I swear too much, planning WWMs graduation into looking like a proper website and generally being a miserable swine.

    Season 5 was a functional season I felt – Seasons 3 and 4 were probably my favourite.

    McNulty has some great moments in Season 5 though… prob best not to do any spoilers though as people like Piqued haven’t seen past 4 yet.

  13. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Well, I’ma gonna increase readership figures by one and read all that I missed.
    Are you and Nick T a bit like Collins and Herring in their podcasts? You being the sweary Herring, I mean. Actually, that’s what I’ve also been doing – listening to their banter, which I’d downloaded especially for this purpose. I’ve got to thank you for that, Swineshead, because it’s becouse of you I found Collins’s blog and their podcasts.
    Lovely stuff.

  14. Toothed Varmint Says:

    McNulty was sadly underused in Season 4, I really enjoy his antics in the last season.
    Season 3 finale nearly made me cry with conflicting emotions. I have really strong views on drugs legalisation and problems around it, so it hit home.

  15. Toothed Varmint Says:

    >because it’s becouse
    Lovely turn of phrase, don’t you find? I am capable of this and so much more!

  16. Swineshead Says:

    It was necessary though, don’t you think? McNulty going underground? Character development, and it also allowed for Bodie’s lovely scenes at the end of season 4.

    Yep – Hamsterdam was a seriously brilliant idea. Seemed audacious and slightly stupid when you realised what the season was all about early on but they handled it amazingly well.

    I loved the scene where McNulty beat his car up, realising he had a flat tyre in the police station car park to Boston’s More Than A Feeling. Or was it Keep On Loving You?

    One of the two.

    I can take the H&C podcast only in small doses.

  17. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I guess you’re right, it was a right move to sideline McNulty for a season. In season 4 we had many new characters plus the return of my favourites Bunny and Cutty, so it wasn’t like McNulty left an unfillable (is there such a word?) void after himself. In any case, he’s back with a vengeance in the 5th.
    As for the song – I seem to remember it being More Than A Feeling too.

    I’ve always had a soft spot for Richard Herring, I am not ashamed to admit. Him and Stewart Lee made me laugh many a time.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    He’s a strange character, RH. I suppose blogging and Web 2.0 enable us to see every side of a comedian when in the past we’d just see what was on stage. Everyone’s human I suppose.

    Have you ever beaten up an inanimate object with soft rock playing in the background?

  19. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I might have beaten off with soft rock playing in the background. Maybe more than once.
    I’m Not In Love by 10CC is a good’un.

  20. Swineshead Says:

    You know that one that goes:

    Soooo take
    These broken wings
    And learn to fly awaaaay

    I’ve had a few masturbations to that one.

  21. Nick T Says:

    Talking sweary podcasts anyone heard Answer Me This?
    I may blog on it.
    It’s good but odd…

  22. Toothed Varmint Says:

    And “Wind Beneath My Wings” of course.
    Tried to do it to Bonnie Tyler once and severely strained myself. Never again.

  23. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Who does Answer Me This, Nick?

  24. indy Says:

    i’d prefer being beaten up to either “you’re the inspiration” by chicago (love the synth sound) or “sailing” by christopher cross.

    hello varmint! allright?

  25. Swineshead Says:

    I got dumped to ‘Stay’ by Shakespears Sister when I was 13.

  26. Napoleon Says:

    Never mind any of this! Have you ever fancied solving an Edwardian murder mystery onboard a train full of whores and religious figures? If the answer’s, ‘NO!’, then why not head over to my site and sign up for three ponderous days of incomprehensible ‘fun’ as my increasingly unhinged readership plays my new game – Birder on the Whoreient Hexpress?!

    WIN A LANDMINE!

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Ah – that’s what we need – distraction from WWM to further ruin our stats!

    MUTINY!

  28. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Hello, Indy! It’s well good to be here again. Innit!
    I recently watched a truly astonishing film “Soy Cuba” by Kalatozov. 1964. Risking to sound like a Late review wanker, I still want to call it a “bravura performance” and recommend it to everyone.
    It’s 7 quid in HMV right now.

  29. Swineshead Says:

    Sounds a bit ‘high end’ for us boys, TV. I watched Sewage Baby on Sunday – is it anything like that>?

  30. Toothed Varmint Says:

    My aim to educate and enlighten, SW. It’s a joyous burden.
    Anyway, there’s some sewage in Soy Cuba, naturally. Part of life, innit?
    (I also rewatched The Crazies by Romero, I forgot how bloody good it was).

  31. Swineshead Says:

    I haven’t seen The Crazies in years. Might have to dload for my day off on Friday.

  32. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Well worth it, truly a forgotten gem.

  33. Swineshead Says:

    I rewatched Dawn of the Dead recently. Again.
    And I’m rewatching Martin as well at some point.

    Romero jumped the shark but he had his moments.

  34. Swineshead Says:

    Jings…

    http://www.gasmasklexikon.com/

  35. Nick T Says:

    Helen Zaltzman and Olly Mann do the Anwer me this thing.
    They do swears but it sounds “put on” kind of spoils it.
    It is pretty jolly though.

  36. indy Says:

    sh: “I got dumped to ‘Stay’ by Shakespears Sister when I was 13.”

    quite a contradiction, isn’t. playing “stay” when she wants you to leave. it reminds me of a bizarre situation that happened a couple of years ago. i had snogged with this girl on a disco. i asked if she wanted to come over to my place for a cup of tea. she declined BUT (this is where ‘bizarre’ enters, if you neglect the me-snogging-a-girl-on-a-disco bit) then she said: …but i hope there isn’t any rapist waiting in the tunnel down the road…

    !?!

  37. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I haven’t yet seen “Martin”, I don’t know how it happened…

    Thanks, Nick. I’ll find it.

  38. Swineshead Says:

    Was that some sort of twisted come on?

    I did notice the irony of the situation – it was a school disco so she had no control over the playlist.

  39. Toothed Varmint Says:

    And did he? The rapist, I mean? Wait in the tunnel?

  40. indy Says:

    yeah, i don’t know if she wanted to follow me, just down the road through the tunnel, to make sure that she was not to be attacked OR i she wanted me to be the “rapist” and wait for her in the tunnel. i’ve seen her on several occasions afterwards but i have not had the guts to ask her (partly because i don’t want to ruin this very story).

  41. Swineshead Says:

    Maybe she watched Irreversible while on heat.

    Actually, can I take that comment back?

  42. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Woo-hoo, we are fearless here! yes?

  43. Swineshead Says:

    Fearless often = stupid.

    I hated that film, irreversible. They should have cut out the violence and rape and just had the bit with Monica arsing about in a bedroom.

  44. indy Says:

    or “monica arsing about in a kitchen”. the irreversible would be like your average episode of friends. with another monica. and a slight difference in topic to make silly jokes about.

  45. Swineshead Says:

    I can’t imagine Ross smashing in Joey’s face with a fire extinguisher, though I’d like to.

  46. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I hated it too. Normal reaction, I expect. Who could LIKE it? Or rewatch it?
    Technical brilliance and all that, I know. But still… Salo, say, is also technically (anong other things) brilliant and I still hate it…

  47. Nick T Says:

    My humble, boring podcasts have just topped the magic 50 downloads!

    *pats self on back*

    *dislocates shoulder*

  48. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Great things ahaed, Nick!

  49. Nick T Says:

    I have so many plans….some may even come to fruition.

  50. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I mean “ahead”, I guess. Or do I? I am so cold that I’m typing in my gloves. I kid you not. My heater is busted and I’m fucking dying here, steam from my mouth, cold fingers, the lot. I’m waiting for the repair-man…

  51. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I’m waiting for my man… I know, that’s what I’m going to listen to now. Very apt. Although I prefer warmth to heroin.

  52. indy Says:

    is it just me (usually it is!) or would any one else see the script writers and actors of “friends” tackle a really heavy, serious matter in the same format? let’s say for instance if ross gets drunk and then stabs joey to death for making stupid remarks? or dealing with abortion, rape, hiv, terrorism etc? i would looove to see a one off episode just stuck in right between the schmaltzy feelgood stuff.

  53. Toothed Varmint Says:

    That would be great, Indy. Just as great as seeing a slapstick episode of The Wire or scary-movie-like treatment of an episode of Band of Brothers. I am all for that, definitely!

  54. indy Says:

    i think the wire wouldn’t need a slapstick episode (there is quite a lot of humour in it already) but i’d like to see a slapstick version of band of brothers. or a snuff version of american idol.

  55. Toothed Varmint Says:

    I am all for genre mish-mash from time to time, it would be very refreshing.

    And – I could think of sooooo many snuff-versions of existing TV-shows, it’s not even funny. I am a bilious twisted sadist, come to think of it.

  56. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Swineshead, you are either working too hard or being a lazy bastard – stop chucking paragraphs at us and kidding on it’s a full story!

    Anyway, the Krypton Factor was great, but I’m not sure we have the requiste number of moustachioed fuctards called Dave and Tony who get positively erect at the idea of putting on a shellsuit and doing in assault course in this country any more.

  57. Toothed Varmint Says:

    There’s always a Dave and very often – surprisingly – a Barry.

  58. Swineshead Says:

    Get fucked, ELM!

    It’s a NewsGush – they’re short gushes of news. Have you learned nothing??

    You’re an animal.

    Besides, word for word this site beats the living shit out of your unsightly magazine. You’ve probably got half the output of our mighty site, so GET FUCKED.

  59. Sue De Nymh Says:

    Oh man, I’d watch Celebrity Krypton Factor if it featured your typical ITV celebs like “Katie & Peter”, Fearne Cotton, “Keith Lemon”, and Holly Willoughby. It would be sweet to see Fearne hewking her guts up after running 5 yards to the first obstacle, or watching “Keith Lemon” slip off the balance wall and crush his testicles as he lands astride it. I would pay money to see that.
    .
    I suppose that will never happen though, we’ll just get Sir Steve Redgrave and Dame Kelly Holmes and the usual bunch of z-list retired athletes.

  60. Swineshead Says:

    I doubt Kelly or Steve’d do very well at the mental challenges though, Sue

  61. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I do love you when you are angry SH….

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