Quick Friday Question: Rubbish Christmas…

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Over in Eastenders land, it’s all going to kick off (as it tends to) around Christmas Day when Sean learns that his baby isn’t his baby. Every bloody Christmas they try to put a dampener on our fun.

What’s the worst Christmas you’ve ever had then?

Try not to be too morbid.

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36 Responses to “Quick Friday Question: Rubbish Christmas…”

  1. Napoleon Says:

    My worst is the one I spent in bed in agony with a weird foot infection I’d got after after pricking my ankle on a rose thorn. My foot blew up like a balloon and I suffered bizarre hallucinations and an almighty fever. The doctor rckoned I’d been poisoned by cat piss.

    Was that the sort of thing you were after?

  2. Badger Madge Says:

    last year was quite shit. the ex mr badger had pneumonia and i spent most of it cleaning out his (bloody) phlegm spit pot… oh, and my bday is the 27th and that weren’t much fun either.

    onwards and upwards! x

  3. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I once went out on Christmas Eve and got so drunk I could barely stand. I then woke up with that thirst which can only be quenched by yet more booze, and spent the whole day guzzling lager. Unable to eat my Crimbo dinner as I felt sick, I got belligerent and boorish until i passed out at 9pm.

    Had ruined not only my day but everyone else’s.

    that was over 10 years ago and I haven’t been out on Christmas Eve since!

  4. Napoleon Says:

    ELM – I think you’ve missed the point because that sounds like a fantastic Christmas.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    I agree – ELM, that sounds like every Christmas I’ve experienced in living memory.

  6. Swineshead Says:

    So there we go – that’s that topic covered.

    I’ve got to go to Waterloo now. I’m not keen on Waterloo.

  7. Nick of the T Says:

    I like the raison croissants at the Waterloo.

  8. extremelisteningmode Says:

    This is why I love this site!

    Right, I’m ordering three cases of fortified wine for the 24th!

  9. Nick Housewife Says:

    In a similar vein to ELM, I also ruined Christmas Eve by getting extremely foxed on an all-day bender before returning to my loving parents’ house, smashing a large jar of marmalade on the kitchen floor while trying to make toast and then calling my mum a cunt when she asked me to clean it up. All before 6pm.

    Worst of all, I didn’t remember a thing about it the next morning, so bimbled down and demanded a cup of tea off the old dear, who promptly left the room crying. My dad had to fill me in on my antics. Since then, I’ve tried to control the creature on the 24th.

    Oh yes, it’s all good fun over the holidays round my yard.

  10. Nick of the T Says:

    When I was 6 my dad took me out before xmas and let me chose all the presents I wanted.

    When xmas morn came no suprises.

    Shit.

    That was the best of my worst…

    When you have kids, they make xmas. Otherwise just get pissed etc…

  11. ugeine Says:

    Probably one of the massive family arguments you tend to have around Christmas. the one I’m thinking of ended up with my dad driving my nan back to London on Christmas Day.

    I was hungover as hell and all these people yelling…

  12. Nick of the T Says:

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=99926085654&ref=nf

    Quite possible the dumbest facebook group ever.

  13. Clarry Says:

    Nick – Oh dear… I particularly liked this comment.

    “i would like to fuck the lot of em up the arse with a dildo wrapped in barb wire fucking cunts excuse the language”

    There’s no accounting for taste!

  14. extremelisteningmode Says:

    There are some nice people in the world. That group excluded, obviously.

  15. Clarry Says:

    Wanting to rape a paedo up the bum is a bizarre concept.

  16. Nick of the T Says:

    Yes Clarry that would teach em a lesson eh?

    I’m not too sure who is the sickest…

    Actually they are just as warped as each other.

    I feel a gameshow coming on

    To the tunes of Mr & Mrs

    “Paedos & Haters, be vile to each other
    Paedos & Haters support one another”

  17. ugeine Says:

    Somebody invited me to the lovely group ‘Use paedos for medical experiments rather then animals’. Is that the group you’ve linked to? I can’t look at facebook at work.

    People who make facebook groups for political causes, by and large, are gimps.

  18. Office Pest Says:

    Nick Housewife’s comment has made me laugh ’till I hurt. It’s similar to my story of being beaten with my own Christmas presents by my wicked stepmother inasmuch as I also used the C word, as in “get off me you mad c**t”.
    Still, in context, I had completely sabotaged her weeks-in-the-planning Christmas dinner by turning the oven off at 9.15am. Raw Turkey at 2pm with 15 awaiting in party hats did not best please her, the wicked old bitch.

    Ah, great days.

  19. JonR Says:

    dunno about christmas, but my worst new year’s eve was “millennium eve” which was spent trecking around my home town (grimsby) with some mates, i ended up at a party full of people i didn’t know dressed up as characters from Star Wars: The Phantom menace, shouting incoherent abuse at some blameless fireworks at midnight, finally ending the evening back at my parents house sobbing to my best mate, repeating the immortal words: “i just fuck everthing up. i just fuck everything up” in between retching.

  20. Nick of the T Says:

    SW can you check your twitter re jingle?

    Gave my mum her belated birthday present last night.
    it was a box framed pic of me and my daughter.
    All very nice except that I had given her the identical present last year.
    I am a crap son……

  21. Nick Housewife Says:

    OP, did you turn it off on purpose to spite her? A powerful move indeed!

    As the bells rang on millenium eve, my then girlfriend proposed marriage and was sick in my lap all in one fluid movement. Luckily, I’d spied the danger and whipped a tray of sausage rolls into place as a protective pants guard.

    They went back onto the buffet. I have no idea if anyone ate them.

  22. Office Pest Says:

    Yep Nick, all me own work, acted on impulse I did guv, honest.
    Most guests were merry enough to laugh it off, a couple cried. I went out for a bike ride and told the few people I met that I’d been kicked out of home on Christmas Day, thus blackening her name further. What a little sod I was.

  23. Nick Housewife Says:

    That’s stone cold, sir!

  24. VS Says:

    I went face first into my Christmas dinner with Glandular fever in 1984 and spent much of the next 48 hours believing myself to be fighting in the trenches with David Niven.

  25. Do I not like that! Says:

    Spring is better (March 21st) …that’s when i tend to dance round trees nude….
    Do that at Christnas and your balls shrivel up!

    Felix Navidad!

  26. Do I not like that! Says:

    Feliz!

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Mikey’s drunk, clearly.

    Millenium Eve for me was a fucking mess. A group of pals (all of whom secretly hated each other) booked ‘a holiday cottage in the peak district’ which turned out to be a fucking granny flat in a backward village. We drank white russians from 2pm, snorted ketamine and argued viciously. I was photographed asleep at 9.37 pm (with a clock around my neck) covered in grime on the kitchen floor.

  28. Napoleon Says:

    I was extremely surprised to be invited to a very, very posh bird’s swanky London appartment for a party on Millenium Eve. Her flat stank of money, everyone there looked like a Calvin Klien model, there was free champagne on tap and I ended up pissing in the fridge after a massive bubbly and cocaine bender.

  29. Clarry Says:

    *Reminds self to invite SH and NC to all future Christmases*

  30. HOOPS McCANN Says:

    I once drank a bottle of Pernod at Hogmany somehow got meself home and promptly shat me breeks, beat that ye Southern softies

  31. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I once got off with a girl who drank Pernod and blackcurrant and had spewed all over her white dress. It put me off a bit – but not enough.

  32. Clarry Says:

    Mmm nice…

    Happy christmas everyone!

  33. Oswaldo Docherty Says:

    I have never had a bad Christmas, its been all joy, joy happy feelings every time.

    Including that time at my grandmothers house were my uncle who obviously hadn’t completely recovered from a nervous breakdown declared he was psychic and could see a chap with a father in his hat standing over us eating Christmas dinner.

    Happy Christmas!

  34. Oswaldo Docherty Says:

    Father should be feather, bed time.

  35. Nick of the T Says:

    So no WWM but there is an Xmas quiz here http://nicktann.podbean.com
    There’s a WWM commercial in it init?

  36. The Spaghetti Says:

    I love the tale of marmalade woe. At the risk of sounding insensitive, was it the smashed jar or the c word that caused the greatest offence?

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