Bill Turnbull and Sian Williams were trying to survive the sudden blast of snowfall without any guests – apart from Rory Bremner, and he doesn’t really count. They kept having to cut to the weather, which was on every 20 minutes in extended 15 minute blocks, meaning that most of the morning’s scheduling was dedicated to the white stuff. (It’s snowing, apparently).
Bill and Sian were also having to put up with the constant appearance of a bespectacled, unshaven drunk who claimed he was the expert on travel. Except he seemed to know as much as I know about the roads and rail, and was bluffing his way through an extended section because there weren’t any guests to speak to afterwards.
Over on LBC, Ferrari, that portly prick who’s employed solely to stoke the fire in the bellies of the small-minded, seems forlorn. He’s without any health and safety practitioners to berate and hasn’t been able to have a pop at the politically correct gestapo all morning, with his show also focusing on this infernal blank rot falling from the sky. He’s having to talk to the kids who can’t get to school and the commuters freezing outside train stations, when it’s obvious he’d rather be ripping a part traffic wardens and congestion chargers.
I’m going to keep listening, in the hope he blames all this rotten weather on the Poles.
Tags: BBC 1, BBC Breakfast, Bill Turnbull, Culture, Entertainment, LBC, Media, News & Current Affairs, Nick Ferrari, Sian Williams, Snow, Snow Storm, Uncategorized, Weather
February 2, 2009 at 9:57 am
I’ve been blithely unaware of all this. Sounds awful.
I just slipped over and fall flat on my back in the middle of Tottenham Court Road. It’s hurty.
February 2, 2009 at 9:57 am
fell*
February 2, 2009 at 9:58 am
You’re safe SH, thank fuck for that. Christ Moyles (sic) said that London is at a TOTAL STANDSTILL. I’m sending you some Big Soup because you won’t be able to get out for days. Which flavour would you like?
February 2, 2009 at 10:00 am
Good old England. Coping with frequent tropical downpours without batting an eyelid, but a foot of snow in Regent’s Park and the whole nation comes to a halt.
February 2, 2009 at 10:01 am
well, the World Service were blaming a front over Russia last night,so i bet it is only a matter of time for Ferrari
February 2, 2009 at 10:13 am
Just travelled 283 miles to work, largely on foot, and not one schoolchild threw a snowball at me. What’s with the youth of today??? Probably indoors stabbing playstations or summat. They don’t know they’re born.
February 2, 2009 at 10:16 am
Sorry to hear of the injuries, John. I trust that as you’ve suffered an injury that wasn’t your fault*, you’ll be seeking no-win, no-fee representation in your impending law suit??
*I assume
February 2, 2009 at 10:19 am
I’d assumed JQW was dead… it’s like WWM’s got its own Lazarus.
Send the soup over, Who. Those I leave behind can have it. I’m going out for a snowball fight now. I may be some time.
(Oxtail please)
February 2, 2009 at 10:38 am
Our school has closed. I’m not surprised, it’s well snowy and the kids have a matter of feet to walk to school from the estate. Don’t worry spaghetti, the little fuckers here are throwing snowballs and the bigger oafs of secondary school age are already smashing up the snowmen my primary school lot have spent the morning making. Cunts.
February 2, 2009 at 10:39 am
Are you all playing in the snow?
I notice that most people in the UK haven’t bothered going to work or school today.
We haven’t even had a flake of snow here. Bah.
It was the first time that i had something to say about a British TV programme as well today, having watched Darwin: the Tree of Life yesterday.
February 2, 2009 at 10:40 am
Readers might be interested to know other British cities are available.
February 2, 2009 at 10:41 am
I can barely get out of my door up here. I hope to God the Meals on Wheels lady can get through, else I’m fucked.
February 2, 2009 at 10:47 am
Will you be off to build snowmen soon too NC?
I imagine you might have been the sort of boy to throw snowballs with an added ‘surprise’ in the centre
February 2, 2009 at 10:49 am
You’re on the nose there, Mel. Usually I’d put stones in ’em. Or dog dirts.
And no, I
February 2, 2009 at 10:50 am
You’re on the nose there, Mel. Usually I’d put stones in ’em. Or dog dirts.
And no, I won’t be making a snowman. I’ll be kicking little kids’ snowmen over instead.
February 2, 2009 at 10:50 am
Hit the wrong button there.
February 2, 2009 at 10:50 am
Chipz – In my day, we’d build the snowmen around a bollard or similar. Then laugh as someone kicked it.
February 2, 2009 at 10:53 am
I got told off when I was a kid for making a snowman with a carrot cock and stone balls. Teachers in them days blew everything out of proportion, the paedo scum.
February 2, 2009 at 11:03 am
Yes, I was definitely imagining the use of dog dirts in your snowballs Napoleon. And to think, mums always used to warn only about the perils of yellow snow.
February 2, 2009 at 11:07 am
Work closed!!
Fantastic, all the chav kids are wandering the streets zombie like as they can’t work out what has happened. Poor sods….
Will spend the day making jingles…..
Oh, ‘morning!!!
February 2, 2009 at 11:07 am
Spaghetti, I’ll naturally be seeking compensation from TfL for their lack of buses what I could have been on and not having to walk.
There are builders on Malet Street throwing snowballs at everyone who passes.
February 2, 2009 at 11:08 am
Wait – extreme weather conditions, infrastructure collapsed, zombies on the streets?
AWESOME!
February 2, 2009 at 11:09 am
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
SNOW DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
February 2, 2009 at 11:10 am
I also used to flick fat children with towels, trap guinea pig’s heads in doors and mercilessly pull every pigtail I could get my hands on. I was a right shithead, I was.
February 2, 2009 at 11:10 am
Not fair.
I still have to pretend to be working. It is only very cold here.
*sulking*
February 2, 2009 at 11:12 am
Stupid dustmen have mucked all my perfect snow up with their big stupid feet. Bet they did it on porpoise.
February 2, 2009 at 11:15 am
Not keen on this new beans advert.
February 2, 2009 at 11:17 am
Those builders – what scamps! They’ll be demanding tea in a minute.
With the tools at their disposal, think of the giant f***-off snowman they could build…
February 2, 2009 at 11:19 am
We’ve got builders round the back of our house, and the buggers haven’t turned up today. Lazy sods. Probably Irish.
February 2, 2009 at 11:20 am
Pls describe the beans adverts. We only get adverts about how lekker (sort of delicious) all Dutch products are. This is an obvious lie.
February 2, 2009 at 11:22 am
It’s a mish-mash of old beans adverts with a new voiceover, Mel. It’s depressing to see how many you remember – Heinz has reminded me I’m no spring chicken anymore.
February 2, 2009 at 11:26 am
the excuse i often use is that they have been re-hashed so many times by those people that make the ‘top 100’ type programmes. I only remember adverts from when the original Charley says adverts were on. the rest have all been falsely implanted in my brain by nostalgia telly
February 2, 2009 at 11:30 am
Good old list shows. Who doesn’t want to hear Tony Blackburn’s reminiscences about the Smash adverts? Or what that TRAITOR Leo Sayer has to say about The Brotherhood of Man?
February 2, 2009 at 11:32 am
Why is Mr Sayer a traitor? Please list his acts of treason NC
February 2, 2009 at 11:38 am
The fucker’s gone and become an Australian citizen, if you bloody please. That’s treason in my book, Mel. They should drag him back to Britain in chains, throw him in the Tower, then gut the bugger at Tyburn.
February 2, 2009 at 11:38 am
That’s all well and good NC, but WHAT about my snow? Hmmm?
February 2, 2009 at 11:39 am
Leo Sayer broadcast anti-British propoganda on German radio during the war*. He was known as Lord Haw-Haw.
*Not true.
February 2, 2009 at 11:41 am
It hardly ever snows in Lincolnshire, Clarry. I always used to get miffed when Britain was buried under a blanket of the stuff, yet Lincolnshire hadn’t seen a bloody drop. Isn’t it something to do with it being sheltered by Yorkshire and Nottinghamshire and shit? Or have I made that up?
February 2, 2009 at 11:41 am
But i have another question – did we really want him in the first place? I could understand your ire if it were someone good, like Sir David Attenborough, but Leo Sayer -meh!
February 2, 2009 at 11:42 am
Spaggo-Daggo – He did, did he? Bloody typical behaviour, that. And he looks like a clown. And we all know what that means – he’s a paedophile traitor.
February 2, 2009 at 11:44 am
Well it’s bloody snowed like mad here since yesterday and isn’t showing any signs of stopping. Work has been cancelled. It does snow here a fair bit, but it doesn’t snow half as much as it used to (that goes for everywhere not just Lincs).
BUT, the perfect snow scene outside my house has been ruined by big stomping feet, and they are still showing up through the new snow. As a bit of an OCDer, that makes me feel a bit on edge…
February 2, 2009 at 11:45 am
Mel – You don’t turn tail on your sovereign nation, regardless of how worthless a member of that society you actually are. It’s as if the man’s gone up to the Queen herself and fingered her without permission. Bastard.
February 2, 2009 at 11:47 am
OCD’s just an excuse for being a bit of a weirdo spazzer.
February 2, 2009 at 11:48 am
I know. I am a weirdo spazzer and no mistake.
February 2, 2009 at 11:53 am
But what was he for?
Did he actually have a useful purpose other than to remind people in the early 70s that he felt like dancing?
February 2, 2009 at 11:58 am
It doesn’t bloody matter what he was for, Mel. It’s the fact the bastard’s turned round and stuck two fingers up at the land of his birth. That’s bloody unforgivable behaviour in my book. I don’t care how fucking useless you are, you don’t go over to the other side, not when you had the good fortune to be born British.
Frankly, I’d have been just as furious if it’d been Gary Glitter turned traitor.
February 2, 2009 at 11:58 am
He demonstrated the folly of white people adopting the afro.
February 2, 2009 at 11:59 am
Personally, I think the afro’s a mistake whatever your ethnicity. Who wants to look like a giant microphone? Wallys, that’s who.
February 2, 2009 at 12:02 pm
So, did anyone else see Darwin: the Tree of Life last night?
i have discovered that the Dutch get the BBC, so went to a friend’s to watch it. I thought it was wonderful, and such a refreshing change from the usual “balance” that the BBC has to demonstrate. Unequivocal in its support of evolution over creationism. Yay BBC.
February 2, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I didn’t watch that Attenborough thing. Instead I watched that Gordon Ramsey kitchen nightmare thing. It was a bit annoying because I’ve eaten in that Spanish tapas bar, and wasn’t happy to discover the money I forked out was spent on reheated shit that came out of buckets. I wondered why it was so bloody bland.
February 2, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Oh well, you missed out on a corker. I am (obviously) biased towards the wonders of all things Darwinian, but who better than Attenborough to guide us through his theory and the context of it all? It was class TV i tell you!
Did they fix the tapas bar, or are you sworn never to return?
February 2, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I’m Darwinned out after watching the Richard Dawkins series on him last year.
They did fix that tapas bar. They got rid of the tapas and the shit local music they used to have on in there, and started doing British fayre. Apparently they do a pie night that looks nice. I like pies, me.
February 2, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Tapas bars in the UK are unauthentic and complete rip offs.
February 2, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Fuck me, it’s snowing in Bath.
February 2, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Unfortunately, i dislike Richard Dawkins on a personal level. He may be correct about many of his stances, and is clearly an excellent hereditary biologist, with a talent for communicating complex subjects in an accessible way, but i think he is snide and as arrogant as Jeremy Paxman. Which is very arrogant.
I think pie night sounds much better than reheated tapas from a bowl any day.
February 2, 2009 at 12:20 pm
What? Every single one of them? What about ones run by genuine Spaniards?
February 2, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I prefer the Tom Selleck-alike Robert Winston.
February 2, 2009 at 12:24 pm
oh i think he is patronising as well, but then i do have biomedical training, and think he oversimplifies.
Ooh, I’m a right mardy cow today.
February 2, 2009 at 12:25 pm
OK, there are one or two run by genuine Spaniards….and they are better, but still they are too pricy. A Tapas means a cover…to put over your drink. They decided to put a little bit of something on the cover as a gesture. It is still possible to be given a free tapas with each drink you have still in authentic Spain. Indeed there is a bar I have visited a few times where you can drink your beer and get a new tapas with each beer for free. FANTASTICO!
February 2, 2009 at 12:34 pm
I didn’t realise other people used the word “mardy” too. Very pleased to make your acquaintance!
February 2, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I think it encapsulates how i feel exactly today. It is a very good descriptor spaghetti.
I liked NC’s use of wally earlier, too. Another one that i hadn’t heard in a while.
February 2, 2009 at 12:39 pm
I may never work again……
February 2, 2009 at 12:39 pm
What you mean yoou work now, Nick?
Most of us here pretend to work while mucking about on the internets.
February 2, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I’ve been pretending to work for fifteen years.
February 2, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Mel….shhhhhhhh!!!!!
I’m working at home but for my own evil ends.
February 2, 2009 at 12:45 pm
What actual world domination Nick, or doing something on your “free” day off that you might actually find interesting?
Or maybe just commenting on WWM?
February 2, 2009 at 12:46 pm
My grandparents’ neighbour was called Wally. In that it was actually his name, not that he was a bit daft. It caused much amusement.
February 2, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Mel…I used to work in Holland…give me a clue where you are in Holland.
February 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Bloody at work, was hoping I’d get snowed in but this good for nothing bastard snow couldn’t even make my shit old matiz to stop working.
And in other, way more important news (then trifling things such as sub zero armageddon and the question of why we’re here) it’s TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY all day long.
I shall be sitting near my tele for 6 hours, nose against the screen in boyish awe as James Hudderson moves from Norhtfleet to Chester on a free.
February 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm
What is all this fascination with me and where i work? I think Telemachus keeps asking that too.
If you promise not to stalk me, then i live in the same city as the palace, but not the Royal Family.
What made you go home DINLT? Had you had your fill of krokketjes?
February 2, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Is Robbie Keane gonna move?
February 2, 2009 at 12:51 pm
What is Transfer Deadline Day Ugeine?
February 2, 2009 at 12:51 pm
1244: Busy old Barnsley. They have signed Andranik Teymourian on loan from Fulham and winger Adam Hammill on loan from Liverpool. They signed Michael Misfud from Coventry earlier in the day.
*shits a brick*
IDNLT: I’d imagine it’s a question of Spurs cash, really. Who knows.
February 2, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Mel – take it as a compliment. Or be afraid. Very afraid. One of the two.
February 2, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Mel: No idea what Transfer Deadline Day is.
TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY, however, is the last day in the January transfer period where a team can sign a player on a permanent deal (as teams outside the Premiership can still loan players). It’s bigger then Jesus.
February 2, 2009 at 12:54 pm
O I loved it to be honest, but my contract ended and so moved on. Agreed I won’t stalk you!
February 2, 2009 at 12:55 pm
It’s these immigrants I blame for this weather. Would we, I wonder, be buried under all this snow if the bloody Poles hadn’t come over here and brought their stinking bloody weather with ’em? If I had my way, I’d put ’em all back in the banana boats they arrived in, and tell ’em to bugger off back to Germany … where they belong!
February 2, 2009 at 1:00 pm
oh sorry Ugeine, i thought that you were talking about something interesting…
I like living in Holland too DINLT, but i am not so keen on their habit of rolling everything in breadcrumbs and deep frying it.
February 2, 2009 at 1:02 pm
1254: Portsmouth have signed midfielder Angelos Basinas from AEK Athens on an 18-month contract. Can he help turn around the fortunes at Tony Adams’s struggling side?
If that’s not interesting, then frankly I like been boring.
February 2, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Hang about, what’s LBC? Lesbian bookcase club? That’s a stupid club, that is.
February 2, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Last night the BNP’s Simon Darby said: ‘The BNP is technically an ethnic group and, under Section 26 of the Race Relations Act, we would suggest there are grounds that an offence of incitement to commit racial harassment has been committed.’
You couldn’t make it up.
February 2, 2009 at 1:14 pm
http://www.nicktann.co.uk is what I want to do Clarry
February 2, 2009 at 1:16 pm
Nice new skin Nick.
Hope that doesn’t make it sound like i am implying you are a lizard…
February 2, 2009 at 1:19 pm
LBC have no time for Lesbians, Ugeine. They’re too busy verbally skewering the Poles, complaining about the congestion charge and worrying that mutated superskunks are killing their already-at-risk-from-paedophilia kids.
It’s the Daily Mail on local radio. You can probably get it on digital.
Disclaimer:
The Author has the right to be Londoncentric if no other bugger is writing articles for free and for no thanks.
*ahem*
February 2, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Ugeine – Who’s been racially harrassing the BNP? It’s not these bloody immigrants, is it?
February 2, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Ah, some kind of right wing shout fest. Though technically what you just said is racist towards racists, SH, according to Simon Darby.
February 2, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I did a mini review of Darwin: the Tree of Life SH, in the comments. There is another programme on BBC tonight, that i will also be watching. I can review that if you want?
February 2, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I was writing something, but then got distracted by doing an illustration that absolutely nobody noticed.
So don’t you go lumping me in with the likes of Piqued or that little bastard Ugeine.
February 2, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Probably the Poles, Uge / Nap.
Clarry – did you really not get the fantastically underwhelming digest on Friday?
By the way, everyone, I just went round Piqued’s missus’ house and he was lolling about watching illegally downloaded films.
February 2, 2009 at 1:24 pm
I could write a review of this thing I watched on youporn last night.
5,000 words?
February 2, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Did you build a snowman for him? We can review that if you post pics!
February 2, 2009 at 1:24 pm
Fair point, Nappers. I did say ‘thanks’, mind you.
Personally, Ugeine, I find the term ‘r*cist’ itself offensive. How dare you group a varied section of society under one offensive and taboo umbrella term?
You white wanker.
February 2, 2009 at 1:24 pm
He’s not at work, eh? Despite the fact he owns a means of transport that would get him there. What a lazy, skiving bastard he is.
February 2, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Mel/Uge – you can review stuff if you want, my submissions box is always open to you.
And dripping.
He really is a lazy, skiving bastard – and the fact he’s not about to defend himself makes his actions even more disgusting.
February 2, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I’m off to the greengrocer’s. If you never hear from me again, it’s because I’ve become trapped in the massive drifts, and have all died and everything. Wish me luck, chaps.
February 2, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Be careful out there, Nappers.
February 2, 2009 at 1:29 pm
*straps on kleats*
February 2, 2009 at 1:35 pm
That sounds like you are channeling Piqued, NC. He has usually made some filthy euphemism by this time of the day, by insinuation if not by actually mentioning phalli
February 2, 2009 at 1:37 pm
“Skin?” Clarry?
February 2, 2009 at 1:39 pm
err, that was me, Nick.
Clarry probably has skin too, but i was referring to the new design of your blog.
February 2, 2009 at 1:47 pm
How can you call the BNP an ethnic group?
February 2, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Well I’m back, and I’ve only smashed both kneecaps and broken my left wrist. Not a bad result, I reckon.
February 2, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Siege mentality Ugeine?
Some kind of mentality anyway.
February 2, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Ugeine – It’s made up of an ethnic group, i.e. white people. I don’t know if that’s what they mean, or if they think being a racist shitbag is separate.
February 2, 2009 at 2:06 pm
But the thing that ties them is their political leaning. ‘technically’ you could be a British Asian and support the BNP. It’s like saying Littlejohn’s attacks on Guardianistas is inciting racial hatred.
Dos Santos to Portsmouth! Keane’s having a medical at Spurs! *giddy*
February 2, 2009 at 2:07 pm
I reckon the BNP needs to open itself to other ethnic groups. I’m sure there must be plenty of racist Asians and black fellas and what-have-you. It could be a big, rainbow-coloured, racist love-in of multicultural hatred.
February 2, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I’d love to see the banners. ‘Get me out of this country!’ ‘I support mothers against my son!’
February 2, 2009 at 2:27 pm
If they thought about it, they could empty the entire island. I’d end up freezing my arse off in Norway.
February 2, 2009 at 2:32 pm
Well, just as long as you didn’t renounce your nationality though eh NC?
February 2, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I’d rather eat my own arsehole, Mel.
February 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm
Are the SNP Nazis too? The N stands for Nazi and P stands for people.
February 2, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Is that what it is? The Scotch Nazi Party? You’d have thought the Jocks would have had no truck with that sort of business. The buggers fought like trapped rats in WWII.
Shame on the entire Scotch nation.
February 2, 2009 at 2:53 pm
I think they went in for the BNP but that wasn’t quite nationalist enough for them.
February 2, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Well I think it’s a disgrace. You’d have thought the Scotch would have learned their lesson about oppressive regimes. After all, the mighty English have been giving them a regular hammering for hundreds of years.
BECAUSE THEY NEED A BLOODY GOOD HAMMERING.
February 2, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Spurs are trying a new technique it seems. Sell all your players and then buy them back six months later. Curious.
February 2, 2009 at 4:40 pm
They should have done it with houses, not players. They’d have made a pile.
Do you think they got confused?
February 2, 2009 at 4:52 pm
There is no new skin on my blog, Mel (Clarry).
But thanks for looking anyway.
I’ve just been to Portsmouth and back on an errand for Mrs Nick. No fooballers were spotted, or striped.
February 2, 2009 at 4:54 pm
last time i looked it was black and green, and now it is all blue and white Nick. Are my eyes deceiving me? Or was i looking at a different website?
February 2, 2009 at 6:36 pm
You are confusing http://www.nicktann.co.uk with http://nicktann.blogspot.com
February 3, 2009 at 10:07 am
*is easily confused*
who am i again?