Horizon: Cannabis: The Evil Weed?

by

skunk

Hooray! Wacky baccy!

But is it really so wacky? Or is it, in fact, the trigger that unleashes all kinds of fresh madness? Why do some folk have a toke and find they remain an average bloke? How come some dumb-dumbs fill a lung and turn into voice-hearing bums?

Horizon decided to seek answers, last night with their enquiry, Cannabis: The Evil Weed? They turned to that flaky, unreliable thing we call science to help them out.

I tuned into this expecting yet more anti-weed propaganda and was pleasantly surprised. After an informative opening in which we learned that cannabis first evolved in Kazakhstan, developing THC to protect against ultra-violet light, there was futher explanation of how the chemical make-up affects the brain which was more extensive than any documentary I’ve seen on the BBC on the topic before.

That’s not that impressive, however, when you consider that the only item on this subject I’ve seen the BBC handle before was Michael Buerk’s hilariously sensational treatment on 999 – where the treatment of bong-discovery was akin to the uncovering of a decomposing five-year old, in a gritty black and white reconstruction.

Credit to John Marsden, he constantly reiterated that the really serious side-effects were only present in a tiny minority of early-adopters, but all the same, the editorial decision to include the story of ‘John’ from Manchester was a mistake.

Completely incomparable to the sad story of one young lad who developed schizophrenia (which merited inclusion), this psychologically-addicted John character was pictured complaining about how he can’t get a girlfriend or a job because of his spliff-habit.

He said, at one point, that he’s smoking ten joints a day – but when the camera caught the sight of the flapping rizla-mess between his fingers, it was apparent that he can’t even roll a bloody bifta. Also, the fact that his flat was plush and his clothing quite smart in conjunction with the assertion that he’s supposedly frittering away at least a tenner on skunk a day, it made it impossible to believe that his case actually exists. And even if it did, all he needs is a good talking to. Weed’s not the problem – he is.

The ultimate irony of the show, which served to demonstrate that there’s far more to this plant than the press let on, is that cannabis houses an anti-psychotic which sits naturally alongside the THC – which balances the potential for psychosis. So if it was harvested properly, away from the black market, it could actually be used to treat those who went mad because of it. It’s enough to fog your head.

Anyway – it’s a sad day for me – I’m having to give up writing this blog. The skunk’s taken over my life and I’m selling my computer to get a bumper pack of Golden Virginia. I’ve pimped the missus out so I can get my grimy fingers on some hash and, by the time you’ve read this, I’ll be injecting green skunky serum into my eyes with John and his mate, Michael Phelps.

Goodbye, friends.

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98 Responses to “Horizon: Cannabis: The Evil Weed?”

  1. Badger Madge Says:

    Bye then. Just as you’ve buggered off, you’ll be glad (or not) to know that my blog (BMTV) will be making a return soon. By mid-March I reckon, due to allowing my not-so-new-now-actually Dave to pay rent, move his things in and set up broadband for us (and pay for half of it).

    So yay, woo.

    Type thing.

  2. Swineshead Says:

    Good news, Badger.

    Do you smoke the evil weed?

  3. Mel Says:

    This looks really interesting. A shame that i missed it.

    The BBC have started growing balls about their content, if two recent documentaries are anything to go by!

    I am so glad that Horizon has gone back to being good. It all got a little dumbed down for a while there

  4. Swineshead Says:

    It was a bit dumb last week – feeding all those skinny people cake.

    I have a cold.

  5. Bête de Jour Says:

    I smoke the evil weed. And I like it. And I like it because it allows my brain to come up with stuff it otherwise wouldn’t, and some of this stuff I consider valuable and useful for things I want to write. it’s very good for coming up with new ideas. (Many of which, I concede, turn out to be crap in the cold light of a smoke-free day. But not all.) Other times I like it just because it’s fun.

    But I do have a tendency to abuse it. Which is to say, if I’ve got it, I’ll smoke it. But this is my problem. Not the drug’s. And it’s probably more to do with tobacco than the weed. Which is why I try to use a pipe these days.

    Ooh, God, you’ve given me the urge. But I’m having a fortnight off. Going to go and watch the doc now though. Wish me luck.

  6. Mel Says:

    mm, i saw the ads for that. I was still lamenting dumbing down at that point!

    And in nearly exciting news, we have had a millimetre of snow here.
    *awaits collapse of the World order and a free day off*

  7. Swineshead Says:

    Good luck – it’s not at all bad. Balanced, I’d say.
    And the mice in the water are good for a chuckle.

    Bit early for a smoke, I always leave it till at least the afternoon. I agree it’s good for coming up with ideas though, and that 90% of them are rubbish but the ten percent are worthwhile.

    Like anything, it has its pros and cons. One disappointing aspect of the doc was that it didn’t define heavy / casual use. If you were drinking a bucket of coffee every hour you’d be very ill but an americano or two throughout the day won’t hurt…

  8. Swineshead Says:

    Snow’s all melty over here.

  9. Mel Says:

    *throws snowball*

  10. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve never had one decent idea on that shite. All I ever did when I used to smoke it was sit around listening to Pink Floyd records talking like a retard to my monged-out friends.

  11. Nick of the T Says:

    “It’s not the drug’s fault”
    Very true.
    I know of folk who are occasional tokers and some who don’t get out of bed before they’ve had a scoob.

    I have an addictive personality so I just leave well alone.

  12. Mel Says:

    Re heavy use SH: as i understand it (and as, it seems was touched on the documentary), with inhaling toxicants (including tobacco smoke) it is nigh on impossible to quantify, as there are a myriad of factors that can alter the effect that it has on individuals, which can include, but are not limited to genetics, where you live (other environmental factors), respiratory diseases that you have. have had, whether you were born prem, some other diseases that you have had/have, and any medications that you might be on. This is similar as to why some people get cancer from passive smoking, and many others do not.

    This, and the fact that it is an illegal substance means that there is very little data available on what comprises heavy/casual use, and the parameters would be wide. I would not like to be the scientist that puts my head above that articular parapet. I do imagine, however, that any information that does exist on this would originate in my adopted home.

  13. Nick of the T Says:

    Without weed, Pink Floyd would have sounded like the New Seekers.

    FACTish

  14. Nick of the T Says:

    Mel, do you work for the government?

    Just returned from a brief trip to shop where I was asked by “security guard” to remove my hood!!
    I’M 44 TWAT!
    It is the “centres policy”.

    I will be writing to my M.P. or stabbing him.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    Mel – if you can’t answer the casual/heavy conundrum – then answer me this:

    Where in the British countryside is the lab they were growing all the medical marijuana? And how do I get there?

  16. Swineshead Says:

    Also, interesting you should mention Floyd, Nappers. I only ever found Syd Barrett’s stuff improved by a smoke. All later stuff just sounds like a dirge and The Wall becomes unlistenably terrifying after a session.

    Zappa is a smokers friend (despite the fact he hated drugs, he made good music to take drugs to).

  17. Mel Says:

    Nick, they wouldn’t have me. Plus the wheels of government turn far too slowly for me. I used to work with councils on projects, but they were always holding things up unnecessarily. DULL

    I would spurn that shopping venue until the next snowfall, whereupon you can go and loot them mercilessly, wearing your hood if you want to. That’ll teach them!

  18. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve always wanted to go looting. In Luton.

  19. Napoleon Says:

    I wonder if NWA’s worth listening to on pot?

    That’s right – POT.

  20. Mel Says:

    SH: that is as poetic as beeping your horn in SW17!

  21. Mel Says:

    NC, surely crack or ice would be better for those cheeky scamps?

  22. Napoleon Says:

    I used to listen to Robert Palmer and Phil Collins records on cocaine. Then talk shit at 400mph all the way through Another Day In Paradise.

    I thought ice was crack?

  23. Badger Madge Says:

    No, drugs are bad m’kay? Smoked between the ages of 13-17 (more or less all day every day – that’s what happens when your bro is a dealer!) but gave it up when I went ker-azy.

    So yeah. Nuff said…
    xx

  24. Swineshead Says:

    Pot.

    Reminds me of that feisty lady in Scandal.

    ‘Excuse me, have you got any pot’?

    What was her name again?

  25. Mel Says:

    Isn’t Ice Crystal Meth? Also referred to as Crank

  26. Napoleon Says:

    Joanne Whalley, do you mean? I would of …

  27. Swineshead Says:

    Ah – yes it probably is. I was referring to Nappers’ comment.

    I like to Crunk when I’m on the Crank, with the Krankies.

  28. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – Is it? I must admit, the only time I’ve heard ‘ice’ referred to has been on Dog The Bounty Hunter. And he never goes into detail, like. The racist.

  29. Mel Says:

    Yes, AFAIK, ice is a “street” name for crystal meth. I bet SH would be able to tell you for sure, as he has watched the wire. I bet they are all high in ice and crunk the whole time on that show.

  30. piqued Says:

    ‘Pot’ reminds me of a bust in a squat when I were a young man.

    About a minute before they came in, this chap saw the police racing up the drive to the house, all substances were hidden in a little place under the floor under the cupboard by the sink.

    There was a knock on the door and this cop said, ‘we believe there are a number of illegal substances on this premises and we’ve a warrant to come in..’

    The chap that answered the door said,’ Illegal substances officer, such as what may I ask?’ (stifled giggling in the background).

    ‘Pot, sir’ said the copper

    The chap said, ‘well, it’ll be pot-luck if you find any pot in here officer.’ And in they came. They left 5 minutes later quietly closing the door behind them as they left.

    …well it was funnier at the time.

    Fruit Gum?

  31. Napoleon Says:

    I’ll wager Swineshead knows what ice is because he lives on the mean streets of London.*

    *If they’re still mean, that is.

  32. Nick of the T Says:

    Mmmm, Bounty the queen of chocolate bars

  33. Swineshead Says:

    It’s not very mean round here, not since the likes of Piqued moved in…

    On The Wire they only really refer to their ‘product’ by the streetname of that particular batch. So it’s WMDs all the way.

  34. Nick of the T Says:

    How about a white chocolate Bounty with sultanas?

    Oh yeah baby?

  35. Mel Says:

    Nick clearly has the munchies!

  36. Napoleon Says:

    That Bounty idea’s rubbish. I’d much prefer a Bounty stuffed to the gills with gold. Not very edible, but at least you’d get your money’s worth.

  37. Nick of the T Says:

    Scooby snack?

  38. Nick of the T Says:

    Twatter is full of sycophantic celebrity worshipers and moaning IT pixies..

    I need to cull a few ….

  39. piqued Says:

    NC, do Bounty bars actually have gills?

    I thought it was just fish but I’m happy to be corrected, by you.

    *waggles tongue*

  40. Nick of the T Says:

    And newts…..gills….

  41. Swineshead Says:

    Twitter is starting to go that way, eh Nick?

    I BLAME FRY.

  42. Mel Says:

    as do mammalian embryos at certain developmental stages (gills that is), so technically so have every one of us.

  43. Swineshead Says:

    I ain’t got no gills.

  44. Napoleon Says:

    I’m not an expert on gills, Piqued. I have my areas of expertise – the best places to hide in public parks, tree climbing near primary schools, long-lens photography, etc. – but as far as giils go, I’m a novice.

  45. ugeine Says:

    The Wire is about heroin, not meth.

    I watched this show. I also smoke. I thought it was a nice change for them to come from a scientific background, rather then claiming the moral high ground, but three main points:

    1) What the fuck was that West country justin lee collins a like on about? Out of all the stoners in England they get that buffoon?

    2) As you pointed out, the silly twat who smokes 10 joints a day, saying it’s ruined his life but not PUTTING DOWN THE JOINT AND GETTING OUT THE FUCKING HOUSE. Cretin.

    3) The final sentance: ‘I think the saddest thing about weed is all the people who have missed unique life oppertunities because they were too busy getting stoned.’ Why go to the trouble of making a scientific documentary on weed if you’re just going to perpetuate a negative steretype of stoners at the end?

    SH: Did you get my review?

  46. piqued Says:

    ‘as do mammalian embryos at certain developmental stages (gills that is), so technically so have every one of us.’

    What about Double Deckers?

  47. piqued Says:

    ‘I think the saddest thing about weed is all the people who have missed unique life oppertunities because they were too busy getting stoned.’

    Moreover this comment could be applied to anything from watching televison to spending an extra 5 minutes taking a shit for fucks sake

  48. Mel Says:

    Um, not double deckers, no piqued. We don’t yet know for certain about crunchies though, as tests have been inconclusive.

    Ugeine – Roszs will back me up on this one, we are not all JLC look alikes in the Westcountry, and neither are we all buffoons. We do mostly talk a bit funny though

  49. ugeine Says:

    Exactly, Piqued. As a happy stoner, I rue the amount of life oppertunities I’ve missed by playing too much football manager. I could have got into a better university, for one.

  50. Napoleon Says:

    Mel forgot to mention that everyone in the West Country is a tractor-driving, cud-chewing, inbred rapist. Even the birds.

  51. ugeine Says:

    I’m inclined to trust Napoleon on this one. He is very travelled.

  52. Mel Says:

    Well, i freely admit to having driven a tractor, and can be a right old cow when i so choose, but i am not in a sexual relationship with either parent, and have never raped anything. Not even the birds.

    Plus, at least i am not from Yorkshire, the are deluded into thinking they are already dead.

  53. ugeine Says:

    Things I know about the west country:

    1) Pasties

    2) Cider

    3) Bill Bailey

    4) Songs about Combine Harvesters.

  54. piqued Says:

    Well, I’ve been smoking dope for over 20 years, until about a year ago it was everyday. Hasn’t dome meean1 hearm

  55. ugeine Says:

    Same here. In fact Reginald was just telling me how everything’s OK if I just keep strangling voles.

  56. piqued Says:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/scotland/outdoors/articles/jelly/

    what the fuck is this stuff?!

  57. roszs Says:

    I am pressing F5 repeatedly to see if today is the magical day I get my emergency tax back. If I do I will buy you all milky bars (with sultanas in for Nick).

    Also, people in the west country look nothing like JLC. If my dad’s friends are anything to go by, they all look like the beardy archaeologist off of Time Team with the massive face.

  58. roszs Says:

    piqued, according to that article it is probably “star snot from meteorites”.

  59. ugeine Says:

    Jean Muir thinks ‘It could be some kind of jelly fungus’.

    No shit, Jean.

    Piqued: It’s the dissolved brains of teenagers that smoked superskunk and went scitzo.

  60. Swineshead Says:

    Uge – I’ll go check my spam filters.
    I’ve a Quincy PHD review to put up tomorrow, mind you…

  61. piqued Says:

    Some guy is convinced it’s Stag, er, ‘juices’

  62. ugeine Says:

    no problems SH. It’s to the googlemail one I usually send reviews too.

  63. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve just released a silent fart that will soon ring the death knell for my other half’s nostrils. Ho ho!

  64. Mel Says:

    Roszs, please may i have a milky way instead?

  65. Nick of the T Says:

    Fry is one that gathers the sycophant SH, that wossy attracts them also.

    Simpering ninnies.

  66. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I don’t smoke the evil weed, I’ve never particularly enjoyed. Always been a more chemical man myself. i don’t want to feel a bit mellow or giggly, I want my fucking blood cells hammering round my body whilst everything around me is bright and magical and intense.

    But that’s just me.

    Anyhoo, dope smokers tend not to trouble anyone. Even when they get annoyingly pious about how smoking weed is safer than alcohol – and man, they do get pious about that – you have to forgive them for it because they are right. I can’t recall a group of stoned delinquents tearing up a nightclub, for example.

    Should it be legalised? It won’t, so there’s no point arguing about it. Like the saying goes, smoke ’em if you got ’em.

  67. piqued Says:

    NC, I think you’ll find ‘tee hee’ is more appropriate when it comes to laconic methane-based abominations

  68. ugeine Says:

    ELM: Too bloody right we’re pious about it.

  69. piqued Says:

    If any of you can manage a minute of this I’ll give you my stash

  70. Napoleon Says:

    Piqued – She’s got her own back. She’s gone to have a bath, and I’ve
    suddenly started baking bricks ‘ere.

  71. Von Says:

    piqued – FUCKING BOXXY. How the fuck did 4chan let this fucking thing become a meme?!

    Anyway. Havn’t smoked in months. But I will again. Because its fun.

  72. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Poor old alcohol gets a torrid time, just because it causes societal breakdown, violence and crime.

  73. Mel Says:

    piqued – why do you even know about this video? she sounds like a relative of Emo Phillips, only not at all funny

  74. piqued Says:

    Mel, Von. Melvon. I happened on it just now, I was checking some of the related searches after stumbling onto this woeful ‘singer/songwriter’ called Mark Gorman and laughing myself dry.

    It’s possibly one of the most abominable things I’ve ever seen, or rather, the 30 seconds I survived.

  75. Mel Says:

    Crikey – and i suspect that you have seen some pretty abominable things piqued. It almost put me off my late lunch.

    And people like that make me think that there is some merit in NC’s prescribed parenting methods

  76. piqued Says:

    I have Mel, if only you knew the half of it -but I wouldn’t change a thing yer know, made me the bloody man I am today, and they’ll never take that away from me, never.

    Hey, they can try, but they’ll have to prise it out of my cold dead hand.

    I am beautiful, Mel, no matter what they say, words can’t bring me down

    Words can’t bring me down

  77. Mel Says:

    And yet the bloody man you are today is reduced to watching egomaniacal idiots make stupid videos on you tube…

  78. piqued Says:

    Beats working Mel, actually it doesn’t.

  79. piqued Says:

    Oh, NC?

  80. Nick of the T Says:

    That’s MR Egomaniacal Idiot to you Mel!

  81. Mel Says:

    No nick, it was probably a teenaged girl. Have you been smoking?

  82. Swineshead Says:

    I’m so ill I might have to lay down and watch a horror film.

    *is sick into a bucket*

  83. Nick of the T Says:

    Smoke this!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUQ-kV4yGrg

  84. Napoleon Says:

    Yes?

  85. Mel Says:

    A bit less annoying than that ridiculous, self-absorbed teenager that piqued posted a link to.

    I loathe teenagers, and not because i am afraid they will mug me.

  86. piqued Says:

    Thanks for that Nick, Unfortunately mid way through I quickly watched the Great Escape and missed the end. What happened?

  87. piqued Says:

    Oh there you are NC…

    Just checking you were watching me do hand stands (I’m not wearing any pants)

  88. Napoleon Says:

    I’m a bit busy drawing a naked bird, Piqued. Can’t you get Swineshead to watch your handstands?

  89. piqued Says:

    He’s not feeling well so he can’t enjoy them properly

  90. Napoleon Says:

    Well that’s not my fault, is it?

    *celebrates successful poisoning of Swineshead’s water supply*

  91. piqued Says:

    I wasn’t blaming you NC, I just wanted someone to enjoy my testicles, that’s all.

  92. Napoleon Says:

    You should be ashamed of yourself, Piqued. There could be children reading this.

  93. piqued Says:

    Children don’t read this NC, most of them can’t speak proper let alone read… They’re all too busy playing on the Ninstedow and eating Turkey Twiddlers with knives. Kids are only interested in those things and their hoodies, Boys 2 Men and Alchypops.

    This country is going down the pan… and I don’t mean a frying pan. I’m talking about the toilet where normal people go to shit.

  94. Swineshead Says:

    You alright, Piqued?

  95. piqued Says:

    No, I’m so bored it feels like I’ve been sat at this cunting desk for 3 days

    Tangfastic? Oh hang on, I’ve eaten them all

  96. Nick of the T Says:

    Oh you young people and your attention span…..

    I blame the drugs…..

  97. ugeine Says:

    Heh, I couldn’t be arsed to read the whole comment list and got to the bottom where Nick was berating young people’s attention spans. EYE-ROONEY.

  98. Pages tagged "sensational" Says:

    […] bookmarks tagged sensational Horizon: Cannabis: The Evil Weed? saved by 16 others     NHLVideo bookmarked on 02/04/09 | […]

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