Today we offer a tribute to tweedledee and tweedledumpling, in the form of an mp3 that needs clicking, below.
I like chocolate.
Tags: Crap Songs
-
Follow
Following
Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
Today we offer a tribute to tweedledee and tweedledumpling, in the form of an mp3 that needs clicking, below.
I like chocolate.
Tags: Crap Songs
Watch With Mothers 
February 10, 2009 at 11:37 am
Is there a download link for this masterpiece please?
February 10, 2009 at 11:37 am
Tres good, needs barking though etc ha ha …..
I hate the way they put food in their dreadful mouths.
I used to think his name was Jonty……
February 10, 2009 at 11:40 am
Cross – there will be in the WWM digest (if I can get my arse into gear and put it together after staying up till 3.30am making the above) – so sign up on the front page…
(See how we snare them??)
Which one was Jonty in your addled brain, Nick? They both look like ‘Jonty’s, now you mention it.
February 10, 2009 at 12:11 pm
I HERD THE MPFREE AND I GOT FRITTENED
Btw, I’m noticing on Masterchef that when it’s down to the final 3, irrespective of how good they are at cooking, the ‘pretty girl’ always wins.
At first I thought it was the way the cookie crumbled to employ a cooking metaphor but now I’m not so sure.
I reckon Wallace and Gromit are having an extra fucking course, yes, INTERCOURSES
February 10, 2009 at 12:16 pm
OR..women tend to better at cooking then men.
February 10, 2009 at 12:18 pm
DINLT, come on mate, that’s racist
February 10, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Belinda didn’t win – blonde Aussie woman – and they clearly wanted a pop on her prawn.
The last quarter final winner was a bearded man.
I put it to you that you are WRONG.
In other news, I think even John & Gregg are confused as to how the structure of the competition works. Does anyone understand it? If so, can they explain?
February 10, 2009 at 12:23 pm
John T Rhodes, I thought his mane was Jonty as in Jonty Bloom the Cash in the Attic “expert”.
February 10, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I’ll admit, they’re subtle, they bung in the odd bearded joker, dismiss the occasion Belinda, to keep the numbers up, avoid suspicion, but I know their game.
Lets look at Wallace’s head, the shape of his skull. It’s been contorted with thoughts of lust and how to sate his desire by devious means. He’s a wicked, wicked man.
February 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm
There was lurvely food last night.
I can’t click on that link, I am at work, so I am imagining that it is a link to Stutter, the early-nineties Elastica masterpiece. Ooooh, what a good song.
Has anyone seen a documentary called the Story of the Weeping Camel?
February 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm
It’s also very subjective. How do I know their combinations are confused? To my taste it might be a rich cacophony of flavour. I put it to you, that all the results so far should be null and void, until a full proof scientific methodology is put into place. We should also vote for the winner!
February 10, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I like Weebleman better than Jonty, with his insatiable appetite for puddings.
February 10, 2009 at 12:27 pm
DINLT – Yes! And also sometimes they go “we want PUNCHY flavours”, yet last night the blonde woman was told that her raspberry sauce was tooooo punchy.
February 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
It’s a scandal!
February 10, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Yes, i have noticed 2 things about the winner. Whenever John and Greg disagree, it is always John’s choice that go through.
The second thing is that in this series, they hover the camera over the winner before they go for a longer shot when the winner is announced.
I hope i haven’t spoiled it for you.
I am in a very dull meeting today, and am thanking the gods of wifi for allowing me this interaction. It may be mercifully brief for you, as i am sitting next to my boss.
February 10, 2009 at 12:31 pm
I find the best tactic in that situation, Mel, is to squeeze your bosses thigh, regardless of any cultural, age-based, gender or corporate taboo you might break in the process.
February 10, 2009 at 12:32 pm
DINLT – food is subjective, please stop trying to democratise it. I like things like nasturtiums and rocket, but i wouldn’t dream of forcing them down Nappers’ throat, for example. Food democracy would just all leave us with mash and blandness, and then you might as well all be living in Holland.
February 10, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Squeezed his/her leg yet, Mel?
February 10, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Mel – my gf pointed out EXACTLY the same thing about the camera shot the other day, its really stupid isn’t it.
And yes, John always gets who he wants. Poor weebleman.
February 10, 2009 at 12:35 pm
The post ‘and the winner is’ music is annoying too, all jangly and emotive. Errr.
If I had my way they’d play A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh by Celtic Frost. Wallace would leap onto the winner, sink his teeth into their neck and Toad would do a wank on his bald head
February 10, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Poor Greg. I used to fancy him a bit when he was on Saturday kitchen, back when it was good. I was also a bit desperate back then.
SH: I am trying to move around the corner, so i can type. Legs are a bit too far to reach from here
February 10, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Mel, we cannot allow the decisions to be made by a totalitarian ruling elite whose prognostications we cannot verify. They are unaccountable for their actions. According to piqued ,there are suspicions of under the counter currying of favours for advancement. It’s just not right.
February 10, 2009 at 12:43 pm
That is as maybe, DINLT, but i think voting on food would leave us all with slop.
February 10, 2009 at 12:48 pm
The worst ‘euphoria’ music they use on Masterchef is the one that goes:
‘ Checkin’ me out. Makin’ me glooooo-rious’.
You know that tune?
Anyone?
Do you?
Anyone?
February 10, 2009 at 12:49 pm
I actually quite like that song…it’s Swedish.
February 10, 2009 at 12:50 pm
There is a music selector on that show though who has clearly spent many years gurning in a field somewhere. There is often some quite hard techno and D&B, especially in the kitchen bits though. I quite like that
February 10, 2009 at 12:52 pm
DINLT – I might have to ban you for that.
February 10, 2009 at 12:56 pm
http://www.andrewstjohn.co.uk/gallery.html
Sometimes you just stumble upon gold.
February 10, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I don’t think the music is necessary. I mean what’s the point? It’s as pointless as overdubbing the clatter of food preparation with the sounds of a building site, which could even include Wallace shouting ‘awight darlin’, eh, she won’t draaan will she lads.. er-aha-ha, wallop’
Actually they should definitely do that.
February 10, 2009 at 1:00 pm
You’ve made my day with that, Nappers. Glorious.
February 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Dilemma…
For my cousin’s upcoming engagement party do I hire Randy Moova or Lionel Vinyl? http://www.bistrolive.com/livetogo/personality-dj%27s-917.htm
February 10, 2009 at 1:04 pm
I like the fact that one of his personality DJs is ‘the infamous Johnny Inferno’.
February 10, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Personally I’d plump for Randy Moova. Just look at the conga that naturally begins to form whenever he’s in the room.
February 10, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Before you mock, just check out the client testimonial from Centre Parcs (before it burned down, obviously)
http://www.andrewstjohn.co.uk/clientsReviews.html#
February 10, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Christ…
From this page: http://www.andrewstjohn.co.uk/DJ_agency.html
Pete (PDJ) does discos for kids, weddings and birthdays, from ages 1 to 93, and at any venue varying from garden centres to prisons. He regularly does discos for the disabled and ‘sing alongs’ in residential homes.
What’s wrong with 94 year olds?
February 10, 2009 at 1:12 pm
I think the ringing endorsement from Legends nightclub speaks volumes.
He does discos in prisons?
February 10, 2009 at 1:16 pm
They get a life of luxury these days, in prison.
Conjugal visits, birthday cakes every day of the week, games consoles, emails, umbrellas, porn comics. They get all a man could ever wish for.
February 10, 2009 at 1:26 pm
That’s outrageous! What you’ve described sounds like a bloody holiday camp!
February 10, 2009 at 1:30 pm
You couldn’t make it up!
February 10, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Now do you see why I’ll be banning umbrellas??? Do you see?????
Someone’s probably pointed this out before, but is the judge-type fella (as in tv judge, not magistrate) wearing Dr Neil Fox’s* skin, Hannibal Lecter-stylee?? He bears a strange likeness.
*neither a doctor, nor a fox
February 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm
Is that for real? Surely not. It would seem that I have to sleep with any/all of them.
February 10, 2009 at 1:54 pm
and cook em breakfast Who…
February 10, 2009 at 1:59 pm
“Yes, i have noticed 2 things about the winner. Whenever John and Greg disagree, it is always John’s choice that go through. ”
I’ve noticed this, and I always like to imagine that one day it will cut to them about to announce the winner and John’s hair will be all messed up and his shirt ripped and Greg’s glasses will be on wonky. And for once, just once, Greg’s choice will go through.
How do I attach an image onto this ‘ere site SH? (i.e. one that isn’t on a website already)
February 10, 2009 at 2:07 pm
You can’t, sadly. Soz Clarry.
Upload it at photobucket.com or somewhere like that…
February 10, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I print them and pin them to the monitor Clarry..
February 10, 2009 at 2:19 pm
please note that of course everything you see on any episode of masterchef is EXACTLY like how what it happened, yeah. like, exactly.
i know.
also, john’s twattier than gregg even tho’ gregg holds his cutlery like a pre-bipedal infant and is fatter. and has two g’s at the end of his name. and has a head like a half-melted snowball.
afternoon.
February 10, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I don’t usually bother, Clarry
February 10, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Hmmm, i’m not very good at this sort of thing so let’s see if this works.
Go and see this picture from last night’s masterchef.
He was pulling that face as he was plating up the dinner. I think he might’ve been burning his hands off but grit his teeth through the pain rather than drop his soup and fail. That’s commitment for you!
February 10, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Managed it myself, before I saw your helpful hint SH, although I rather like Nick’s idea.
February 10, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Hmm it lookes a bit funnier as a clip not a still.
Nevermind.
February 10, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I want to go to this http://www.nuffieldtheatre.co.uk/cn/events/event_details.php?section=events&event_id=256
February 10, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I liked that pic, Clarry. He made that grimace again later when he messed up his presentation on the pea puree – the idiot.
Q: Who messes up the presentation of a pea puree?
A: An idiot.
February 10, 2009 at 3:03 pm
pea puree is foodie talk for mushy peas?
February 10, 2009 at 3:05 pm
‘pea puree’
Cystitis?
February 10, 2009 at 3:07 pm
foodie – a term used to describe someone who likes to fiddle with food, probably in a slightly sexualised way, and who spends too much on cured meats, sun-dried crockery and cheeses. and pointlessly organic shopping bags.
February 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm
piqued is our resident foodie.
February 10, 2009 at 3:10 pm
“red wine reduction” always make me smile…..
February 10, 2009 at 3:13 pm
nick – or ‘jus’. or anything with celeriac.
piqued is very good at writing about his yum cooking. i’ve yet to taste it.
February 10, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Yes, perhaps piqued should cook for all us, then we would all be able to judge – but not vote, as we have discussed previously, that way lies slop.
February 10, 2009 at 3:18 pm
although be interesting to vote. who be john and who be gregggggg?
February 10, 2009 at 3:19 pm
I did have celeriac mash on sunday but then I am a vegetarian…
It was loverly
With you on the “jus” jizz? or just simply GRAVEY!!
February 10, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Found this…
Last Thursday’s semi-final was brilliant.
Gregg was in raptures over one of the ‘queen of puddings”s puddings, making his anticipation-laden sex-noises … and then he told said ‘queen of puddings’ to “get [her] head down and get on with the job”…
February 10, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Where did you find that DINLT?
You would have been thrown out of university for plagiarism, for not citing your sources!
February 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I think Breeks beats piqued (oooh rhyme) to resident foodie as she has actually been on Masterchef twice times.
I sort of fancy John Torode, he has eyes like a stormy sea at midnight…
February 10, 2009 at 3:25 pm
The term ‘foodie’ makes me angry.
That is all.
Are those who’ve not met her amongst us aware that Breekom was once a contestant on masterchefs?
Or is that a secret?
February 10, 2009 at 3:26 pm
Roszs – jinx
February 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Bree did brill in the restaurant round too, she was ROBBED ROBBED I TELL YE
February 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm
That’s another thing as well – the restaurant round makes knack-all difference to who wins, often the person who is worst in the restuarant wins.
February 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Liam: Will you say my name so that I may speak again, please?
February 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I mean Swineshead…
MY BRAYNES DON’T WORK TODYA.
February 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm
I take it she (Breeks) did not sucrumb (geddit) to the bald ones charms, therefore scupering her chances of a final cook off?
February 10, 2009 at 3:29 pm
Like Breeks I don’t like the word ‘Foodie’
You don’t call a fucking wino ‘a Drinkie’ do you?
No.
It’s as daft as labelling a person Pissy, Shitty or Wanky, as it’s something we all have to do and largely enjoy
February 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Foodie.
February 10, 2009 at 3:30 pm
(foodie foodie foodie)
February 10, 2009 at 3:31 pm
I agree btw, Breeks beats me (ooh er) to the resident food-expert post
February 10, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Here you go Mel, http://www.dollymix.tv/2009/02/why_i_lovemasterchef.html
Looking at the application form for Masterchef, you cannot apply if you have been convicted of a criminal offence. It’s just so unfair!
February 10, 2009 at 3:32 pm
i didn’t succumb to gregg’s charms tho’ his greatly outweighed the torode’s.
i promised i would, though. made no difference.
also, they labelled me ‘australian bree, care worker’. that was bad.
February 10, 2009 at 3:34 pm
I get called a sexy …… a lot!
February 10, 2009 at 3:55 pm
*watches tumbleweed blow past*
Right, I’m off for a bloody big plop
February 10, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Woz ewe really on Masterchef? That is aMAYzing.
I know what you look like now… (that sounds a bit stalky, sorry!)
February 10, 2009 at 4:06 pm
No, come back Piqued! (wipe your bum first)
All alone in the office and bored/working.
February 10, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Made you sound like an exotic cheese….
Clarry, I showed the mem the Naked In London doc over the weekend. My voice is clearly recognisable on an answerpho0ne message in it (innit?)
That was my only appearance…
February 10, 2009 at 4:07 pm
clarry – there’ve been several hundred masterchef contestants you know. i have been them ALL.
all of them.
February 10, 2009 at 4:14 pm
I have been in a film…yes a real film, with real actors..very famous ones too…I was an extra!
February 10, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Me too DINLT
I also ‘starred’ in the opening credits of that fucking awful Hotel Baylon hosted by Dani Behrrrr
(I rode motorcycle about a bit)
February 10, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Breeks – Several hundred contestants or not, you’re still special to us here at WWM. Well, me anyway…
Nick – phew!
February 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm
My whole voice Clarry…..imagine that!
February 10, 2009 at 4:30 pm
So come on Breeks ..tell us your menu….
February 10, 2009 at 4:43 pm
That is MEGA Nick.
So, let’s just get this straight, in our midst we have an Australian care worker who has been on Masterchef (twice), a man whose *actual* voice has appeared (via the medium of answerphone) on a documentary about naked people and a man who has ridden a motorcycle about a bit in the credits for Hotel Babylon.
WOWZERS!!!
*is a bit star struck*
February 10, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I may need an agent…..
February 10, 2009 at 5:10 pm
I’m not a care worker, yeah?
February 10, 2009 at 5:15 pm
Every single person I knew at university played an extra in the opening battle of the film ‘Gladiator’. Annoyingly, I’d already gone when the casting folk came calling. I could have been a Roman soldier, me.
February 10, 2009 at 5:22 pm
Breeks – What are you then and why did they get it wrong? I was only repeating what you said earlier. Honest guv!
February 10, 2009 at 5:38 pm
PLEEZ DOWNT HIT MEE BRICKS!!!1!
February 11, 2009 at 11:04 am
*taps fingers on desk*
Oh do come on.
I have just been reading The Noel Edmunds Diary, now I must work..
July 12, 2011 at 9:23 pm
[…] impressive is this from 2009. There’s an MP3 of […]
July 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm
[…] impressive is this from 2009, which also exists in standalone MP3 form.) This entry was posted in Uncategorized by […]