Trisha’s Guest Dilemma

by

trisha-goddard_280_465862a2

Can YOU solve yesterday’s Trisha’s Guest Dilemma? Here are the facts of the case:

Wayne comes home.

Wayne realises he’s lost his keys.

Wayne climbs in through an open window.

Wayne’s partner Rose comes down the stairs naked.

“It’s not what it looks like,” says Rose, without being asked anything.

Wayne goes upstairs to discover a naked man cowering in the wardrobe.

Rose explains the man’s her cousin, and there’s no funny business going on.

So, what Wayne wants to know from YOU, the WWM Trisha audience, is this:

Is his partner Rose guilty of adultery or not?

You may want to take a bit of time before reaching your conclusion …

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98 Responses to “Trisha’s Guest Dilemma”

  1. rodti Says:

    Rose is Wayne’s brother. In Orkney this is all perfectly normal and acceptable behaviour.

  2. rodti Says:

    And for the love of fuck stop watching Trisha Goddard. Your mind will turn into wanky old sludge.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Nappers loves Trisha – he has a slice of Trisha action every damn morning.

  4. seawatcher Says:

    Who the fuck is Trisha. I haven’t seen tV since I went on Tweeter

  5. Mr H Says:

    Perhaps Rose and her cousin were trying to fix the plumbing, and when the blockage cleared, there was a huge backdraft which sucked all their clothes off.

    Could happen to anyone. Usually just before the pizza delivery guy arrives.

  6. Swineshead Says:

    Surely if it’s your cousin it’s not illegal. When you get married you limit yourself to only having congress with either your wife or, at a push, any member of your immediate family?

    Am I doing something wrong?

  7. Swineshead Says:

    *echo*

  8. extremelisteningmode Says:

    Yes, they are guilty of adultery, chavishness and being called Wayne.

  9. breeks Says:

    hmmm.

    i’m sure this kind of thing happens to good people all the time.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    The word ‘chav’ is a lazy stereotype… please discuss.

    Personally I’ve known many lovely chavs – particularly in my formative years of scoring teenths in Daisy Dale, Fenside and the dark end of Grantham Road.

  11. Swineshead Says:

    Christ – Spottify is amazing…

    *continues to muck about on it*

  12. Nick T Says:

    This place looks different, new carpets?

    According to the lie detector (not acurate) Rose’s cousin has actualy been having an afair with Wayne (Ker?). Rose discovered him waiting for wayne is a state of excitement, thinking it was her affections he was after. Flatered but at the same time ashamed, she heard Waynes approach and as a result of her lack of imagination, thinks of the crap explaination. “it’s not what you think”

  13. breeks Says:

    spotify is tops but the name is redolent of some kind of teenage fass-creme.

    or is that just me?

  14. Swineshead Says:

    How does she know what he’s thinking? She jumped to a damning conclusion there when she could have run him about the houses by creating some completely unlikely scenarios.

  15. Swineshead Says:

    Spotty thigh.

    *points at Piqued’s thigh*

  16. Nick T Says:

    The formatting is all weird here.

    Or is it me ?

  17. Swineshead Says:

    I think it’s you, we’ve not moved to a new format…

    YET

  18. roszs Says:

    Wot is spottify?

  19. breeks Says:

    omg roszs.

    spotify.com

    GO THERE.

  20. roszs Says:

    “Circle Anglia’s Internet policy does not allow access to this site at this time. If you feel this is incorrect please raise an Incident on
    Sunrise 2

    Reason:
    The Websense category “Streaming Media” is filtered.”

  21. roszs Says:

    I work for a fascist state…

  22. Swineshead Says:

    Incident on Sunrise 2….

    Sounds like a futuristic police drama.

  23. breeks Says:

    well, i used to not get anywhere at westminster till i just asked for unlimited access and now i am finally free.

    anyway isn’t it a facist state which provides housing for the disadvantaged?

  24. Clarry Says:

    Don’t worry Roszs I don’t know what this Spotify thing is either.

  25. Clarry Says:

    P.S NC I liked Noel’s secret diary. It saved my bad mood from turning into a ferocious temper yesterday afternoon. Merci beaucoup.

    “When do they turn to bones?”

    P.P.S Was looking at that fella PTH’s site status:wrong you linked to – fucking hell, can’t believe I missed that little gem. Facebejesus is ace.

    P.P.S I like your site bestest SH.

  26. Swineshead Says:

    *flattered*

  27. roszs Says:

    Went to see Slumdog Millionaire last night, I thought it was well good. SH, you are obviously a grump.

  28. Nick T Says:

    Better than mine Clarry? Cripes!

    (Noels diary good eh?)

  29. Clarry Says:

    Everyone in the whole world (well my world anyway) went to the cinema yesterday. Have you or a friend got an Orange contract Roszssszz?

  30. Swineshead Says:

    Hype-swallower…

  31. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    I have been reading about these satellites. Hmmm.

  32. Clarry Says:

    Don’t hit me Nick but I haven’t read yours. I only usually read NC’s, Piqued’s and Chipz’ offerings.

  33. Clarry Says:

    And now PTH’s.

    Any others I should follow?

  34. roszs Says:

    Clarry: Yes, yes I am. YEsterday I also took advantage of their Orange Wednesday 2-for-1 Pizza Express offer with free garlic bread, and had an evening of pizza, garlic bread and cinema for the might sum of £8.

    *strokes orange phone lovingly*

  35. roszs Says:

    Clarry: http://www.ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com – a daily updated list of the most stupid things people have written on the BBCs Have Your Say forums.

  36. Clarry Says:

    God I ought to be some kind of special detective with skillz like that.

  37. badgermadge Says:

    This Spotify thing, then. Does it have *all* the songs I’ll want on it like they promise? Because the one I use atm, doesn’t have that Lilys Allen song or any Pearls Jam and that sucks.

  38. Clarry Says:

    Cheers Roszs – I shall check that out later.

  39. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Satellites…???

    Ok, do not come crying to me when your Sky satellite is inoperationable due to the debris and you can’t get any programs.

  40. Swineshead Says:

    I’ve got cable, DINLT

  41. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Yes, those with cable and analogue will be OK.
    But those half price Orange night outs will not be so fun when there is no service…eh …eh!

  42. roszs Says:

    I wear a tin foil hat, DINLT. I shall be just fine.

  43. Clarry Says:

    So what’s this about satellites? I’ve got sky – will it break? I can’t live without TV.*

    * Is actually true

  44. Nick T Says:

    Mine looks pretty but isn’t funny Clarry, well….

  45. Nick T Says:

    Cottage cheese is underated…..

  46. Clarry Says:

    It’s about the funnies…

  47. Napoleon Says:

    Clarry – Thanks for those words of yours up there. If you’re looking for something else to read, I’d heartily recommend Thumper’s site:

    http://theearlofhellswaistcoat.wordpress.com/

    He’s Scotch, but don’t let that put you off.

    Now then. I’ve spent all morning drawing dead animals.

  48. Mr H Says:

    Right, I’m back.

    I had to nip out out my hot cousins house to test out the “it’s OK to have The Sex with your cousin” theory.

    Naturally, I treated this as a proper scientific experiment, and wore my white coat and everything.

    It was a bit awkward, what with my arms out of commission, but I can safely say that having sex with your cousin is not only OK, but scientifically proven to be Hot.

  49. Clarry Says:

    NC – no probs, just make sure you, er… sorry Noel, finishes off January and makes a start on February.

    I shall check out these recommendations. Ta.

  50. Nick T Says:

    Roszs, I know you will love this http://www.royal.gov.uk/LatestNewsandDiary/Royaldiary/Locationsandtimes.aspx

  51. Napoleon Says:

    I don’t believe there was anything funny going on, personally. What I believe happened was Rose was upstairs ironing in the nude when a nude skydiver crash landed on powerlines outside. Using her initiative, she hauled the man into her bedroom using the sheets from the bed as a makeshift rope (hence their crumpled state), and then put him in the wardrobe to warm up. Wayne should be a bit more trusting, and also thank his lucky stars he has a partner who can think clearly in a crisis.

  52. roszs Says:

    Nick, that is ace.

    *loads shotgun*

  53. breeks Says:

    flea from red hot chilli peppers is my second cousin.

    am i allowed to sleep with him. or his bass? or both?

  54. Nick T Says:

    He (Flea) does the voice of Donny in the Wild Thornberrys.
    I suppose he mentiones this at your large family dinners eh?

  55. breeks Says:

    yes. or else he would if we had large family dinners with people converging from afar field as the states, orstraylia and the uk.

    yes. he would.

  56. Napoleon Says:

    By the way, did anyone else notice last year that they may have found a cure for The AIDS?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7726118.stm

  57. Clarry Says:

    It’s perfectly fine to have relations with your second cousin Breeks, fill your boots.

  58. Napoleon Says:

    What if your second cousin has a weird discharge coming from their anus, Clarry? I for one would prefer not to have a relationship with them under these circumstances.

  59. breeks Says:

    poo, you mean, napoleon?

  60. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Nap, that was covered on R4 this morning. The drug companies are not too pleased though.

    My attention is focused on the satellites colliding.

    Breeks, how’s the stakeout going?

  61. Clarry Says:

    Ok – poor choice of words NC. Not fine but legal.

  62. Clarry Says:

    DINLT – I repeat my ealier question:

    So what’s this about satellites? I’ve got sky – will it break? I can’t live without TV.*

    * Is actually true

  63. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    It is probably best to have relations with somebody else’s cousin.

  64. Napoleon Says:

    Not necessarily poo, Breeks, you mad old bag. I was thinking some sort of unpleasant-smelling, viscous liquid. The sort of thing you’d expect to see weeping out of an infected bullet wound, perhaps?

  65. breeks Says:

    IDNLT – it continues. it’s about the least interesting stakeout i think i’ve ever seen. also it’s the only one. there’s been no dramatic siren-calling nor thundering of booted officers past the door. shame.

    Naps – i’m not old.

  66. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – Mad old bag.

  67. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    According to learned scientists, the current debris clouds may only affect science and weather satellites that are in the same orbit. None the less, the dispersal of the debris has yet to be seen. Because the destroyed satellites are in a relatively high orbit, if the debris disperses and falls to lower orbits, it could collect other satellites, which in turn….etc. Keep watching Clarry but if one day you turn on and you have no Sky, it may be the satellite debris interference or you have not paid your bill.

  68. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Breeks, are you all wearing shades? Raybans? If I was in a real live stakeout, I would definitely be wearing shades. Oh and a callsign. I would want a call sign too!

  69. Excelsior! Says:

    Must second Clarrys enquiry.

    If tvs going down then i need to prepare tinned food, bottled water and get on the roof with a high powered rifle.

  70. breeks Says:

    nc – ok.

    DINLT – i am not part of the stakeout, i hope i didn’t give that impression. were i to be stakeout-ing i’d be channelling estevez and looking moody and wan at the same time.

  71. Napoleon Says:

    You can’t channel Estevez because you’re not a man. What you’d be doing on a stakeout, love, is ironing the shirts, making the dinner and gossiping about irrelevant rubbish with your neighbour over the fence.

    Now I come to think about it, what the hell would a woman be doing on a stakeout anyway? One bout of high-pitched nagging and the cover would be blown.

    Best leave it to the fellas, I reckon.

  72. breeks Says:

    nc – right again, except the fellas would fuck it up due to high-testorone posturing and an inability to leave the donuts along cause of pushing penises through the donut holes to see whose was the sweetest/longest/biggest/fattest/looked the best with icing on. also cause you don’t notice stuff.

  73. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Yes Breeks I realise that you were not a part of the stakeout, nonetheless if all hell breaks loose, you will have to take cover and who knows what situation you may find yourself in. Best to be ready for action…

  74. Napoleon Says:

    “also cause you don’t notice stuff”

    I’ll pass that on to all those great men of engineering, medicine, science and the like who, throughout the ages, have failed to notice stuff because they were too busy shoving their cocks through donuts.

  75. Who Says:

    It’s all well known historical fact that donuts didn’t have holes until a man* pushed his penis through one, thus creating the modern shape.

    *Oliver Cromwell

  76. Swineshead Says:

    Naps – stop bullying people, you huge-nosed oaf. Breeks is a friend of WWM.

    Now LAY OFF.

  77. Swineshead Says:

    *sticks cock in a doughnut*

    Hoopla!

  78. Mr H Says:

    Why would one stick ones penis in a doughnut, pre-hole, when there are countless other objects available which already have holes in them?

  79. Who Says:

    I don’t know if Cromwell performed the act before/during/after the Battle. He just couldn’t resist it, Mr H. Y’know, mucking around with the lads and one of them dared him to do it.

    He invented the Polo mint too, did you know that? Otherwise that would also have remain unpunctured.

  80. Nick T Says:

    Or vacuum cleaner hoses Naps….

  81. Clarry Says:

    *wonders what Naps would be like in the Boys and Girls Alone house aged 8…*

  82. Napoleon Says:

    Swineshead – Up yours! I wasn’t bullying her, I was replying to her ‘men don’t notice stuff because they’re too busy sticking their dicks in donuts’ comment, you cheeky fucker.

    Clarry – Fucking horrible, probably.

  83. Swineshead Says:

    Up my what? Doughnut?

    *puts Nappers on a list*

  84. Napoleon Says:

    Damn your blasted lists!

  85. Clarry Says:

    Thought so NC!

    I’m going home now and i’m in a fucking filthy mood (temper not saucy). Lucky old Mr Clarry.

    Laterz

  86. breeks Says:

    hello.

    i cannot be bullied.

  87. Who Says:

    I can’t stop thinking about penises with all sweet icing on them. And I’ve got College tonight too, so these thoughts couldn’t be more inappropriate.

  88. Napoleon Says:

    See?

  89. Nick T Says:

    “Krispy Kremes”

    *vomits*

  90. breeks Says:

    that’s how they got the idea to put ‘custard’ in donuts. in fact, custard in donuts came long before holes in donuts. it’s a natural progression.

    think about it.

    go on.

    THINK.

  91. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    The doughnuts i buy do not have holes in them..just jam.

  92. Napoleon Says:

    Following on from Breeks’s logic, it doesn’t bear thinking about where they got the idea for the jam donut from.

  93. breeks Says:

    bleeding gums, probably.

  94. Clarry Says:

    Yeah, don’t worry about me and my temper everyone.

    I’m home now, btw, and have some chocolate, so feeling marginally better. A few more installments of Noel might help though…

  95. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve already written some, Clarry.

  96. The Spaghetti Says:

    Oliver Cromwell wouldn’t touch a doughnout with a bargepole (and I’m not being figurative). He was far too grumpy and puritan.

    It was George III wot invented the ring doughnut. I read it in a book*.

    *that I had just written on scrap paper

  97. Suzyf Says:

    ~I like the way Mr H thinks – my thoughts exactly…. and if the pizza man got hot on the way he might have to take all his clothes off to cool down…..

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