Horizon: Why Do We Dream?

by

Horizon Why Do We Sleep Franscisco Goya

I woke up this morning in a cold film of panic. The second I awoke, I realised absolutely nothing had happening in the preceding dream that was in any way ultraviolent or depraved.

Usually I can set my clock by the fact that my dreamscape will involve outright butchery and gore-smashing  as I wander through it like a blood-spattered droid – all alongside a morally bankrupt attitude to libidinous activities. It keeps me grounded and acts as a counterweight to my conscious life – the bloodshed and perviness brilliantly balancing the mundanity of reality. So this sudden overnight change is disturbing.

Perhaps this means I’m bound for a murderous rampage? Maybe I’m going to wander down the street later today, my conscious mind tasked with getting me the papers whilst my subconscious is bent on carnage. I’ll probably end up slaughtering a puppy with my end flopping out of my fly. They’ll take me away, peel my scalp off and do experiments on my brain.

So – why do we dream?

Time for Horizon to ask ‘science’ again, despite the fact it couldn’t answer Why Thin People Aren’t Fat and couldn’t make its mind up (probably stoned) as to whether cannabis is the Evil Weed.

Puny science.

I always thought William Golding was right – that “sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind”. It’s just a load of fear, insecurity and desire coming out in a slew of meaningless, dirty thoughts. And it seems science isn’t much further ahead in its thinking. Despite people being hooked up to those neuro-sensors that look like sticky-tape and string attached all over a swimming trunked body, they haven’t got much further than the fact that we have nightmares at certain times of night and get depressed if we we wake up at certain times. And they pay scientists for this rubbish.

If I may, I suggest that this lack of a decent conclusion across the scientific board on Horizon so far this series is down to inaccuracies in the testing methodology. It seems ludicrous that we’re trying to work out if skunk is addictive by feeding it to mice – and we’re not likely to learn which bit of our grey-matter triggers wet dreams by sticking a chimp in a brain scanner.

So let us test on humans, damn it!

I’m not suggesting we round up volunteers. Only a moron would stick his hand up when asked if he fancied having a lobe-probe. And obviously it wouldn’t be fair to test on the underclasses – both from a humanitarian point of view and also pragamtically, considering they’re all preoccupied by drinking lager and raising staffordshire bull terriers and, as such, would provide uselessly biased responses.

Therefore, I conclude the only decent subjects are the supposed great and good. We could get Will Self and Stephen Fry strapped to chairs in isolation booths and stick metal sticks in their ears to see how certain words twist up their vocab glands. We could test spatial awareness by looking up Andy Murray’s mechanically dilated nose whilst giving him cumulatively more and more powerful electric shocks. We could test the very notion of celebrity by culling Calum Best, Chico and Vanessa Feltz and measuring the amount of tears the public weep.

Let us stride forward into a new age of scientific boundary – with fiendish grins on our faces, devilish murder in our hearts and metal sticks gripped in our fists.

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120 Responses to “Horizon: Why Do We Dream?”

  1. Nick of the T Says:

    I saw that dispatches thing about food last night. You poor meat eating buggers.
    “Meat connective tissue” nice…..

    I also saw “Without a paddle” which was tosh!

  2. Nick of the T Says:

    I have recurring dreams about cars breaking down or being uncomfortable to drive….

    Doctor?

  3. Horizon: Why Do We Dream? « Watch With Mothers | ukmed.org Says:

    […] Horizon: Why Do We Dream? « Watch With Mothers […]

  4. Mel Says:

    This is actually one area where it is possible to ethically test humans. To monitor brain activity, you just need to get volunteers to wear this kind of swimming cap thing with loads of sensors all over it. Admittedly, the imaging is a little more hazy in the deep tissue, but dreams should be a cerebral function and not something deeper, so mapping the areas that are triggered can and has been done a lot.

    There are sleep clinics in the UK that pay people to go to sleep wearing these devices and to be woken up after REM so that they can record their dreams and whatnot.

    I missed this programme, again, but I am surprised that they could not come to a few more conclusions than are mentioned here.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    They had all that caper, Mel, but all that did was show which bits get hot. They should stick metal sticks in the brains to see if they make the spine jolty – and they should do this on famous people. Otherwise we’ll never know why fat people aren’t thin.

  6. Mel Says:

    Well, that bit is actually quite easy to do, and non-lethal in most cases. The unethical bit about that is getting people to agree to having a massive piece of their skull removed. It has been done before though.

    Surely it is easy to get to see jolty-legged slebs outside the nightclubs of mayfair on any given weekend?

  7. Mel Says:

    I think fat peoiple aren’t thin due to pie consumption. They might say it is because they are big boned.

  8. Mel Says:

    Bah, you lot are all off discussing crisp flavours at Charlie’s aren’t you?

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/16/walkers-crisps-new-flavours-brooker

  9. Swineshead Says:

    I’m not stupid enough to sample egg-flavoured crisps, so there’s not much to discuss over there for me… I’m actually doing some work.

    Don’t worry – it won’t last.

  10. Swineshead Says:

    Christ – just read Brooker’s piece. Have you seen the comments?
    It’s bumlick central…

    From ‘Ultrageorge’…

    ‘HI CHAR~LIE bloody brilliant chat I love you chat chat chat you always do brilliant ‘this is like that’ chats.’

    Hmmm. Preacherman… etc…

  11. Mel Says:

    Yes, i never read the comments elsewhere on the Guardian, because they tend to make my piss boil in a similar way to the idiots that phone in to the radio (and i only have ever listened to ‘Any Answers’ on R4, and that is bad enough). Brookers’ i tend not to read because they are all sycophants. Although today i have read a few, and the one about the various party flavoured crisps is quite funny!

  12. Nick of the T Says:

    I love half term!

    Off all week. Recording a sitar tune today.

    It’s all a bit Carry on…. all this sticking things in people to see what gets hot.

  13. breeks Says:

    good morning.

    crisps should be either plain or salt & vinegar – NOTHING ELSE.

    oh, except for samboy bbq at home in oz.

    NOTHING ELSE.

    every night i come up with two things to dream about. last night it was motherboards and life after death. i dreamt about doing an assault course with many people from high school. the pudgy lesbian was thin and attractively brunette in said dream, with a finely turned thigh.

  14. Mel Says:

    I bite people in my dreams, if i dream that I am fighting with them, and they are not listening to me.

    I think both Freud and Jung would have a field day on me.

  15. Mel Says:

    Can we do pancake flavours in preparation for tomorrow?

    Obviously, lemon and sugar are a clear winner.

  16. breeks Says:

    mel – bacon and maple syrup.

    or bananas and maple syrup.

    high fructose corn syrup maple syrup, obv.

  17. Swineshead Says:

    It’s lemon and sugar.

    Or chicken and thai basil, if we’re going vietnamese.

  18. Napoleon Says:

    I had a dream the other night that got on my nerves. I was in a doctor’s surgery and the bugger comes in, shows me an x-ray of my innards, points at a dark lump and says,

    “See that? That’s cancer is that. How d’ye like THEM apples?”

    Alright, I know it wasn’t real, but still … what sort of way is that to break the fucking news? Insensitive bastard imaginary dream doctor.

  19. Mel Says:

    high fructose corn maple syrup?

    That sounds like one of these new ludicrous crisp flavours.

    Do crispy duck ad plum sauce also count as a good pancake flavour?

  20. Napoleon Says:

    You were correct on the pancake thing there, Swineshead. Correct right up to the point you suggested shoving that chicken and basil concoction on it, that is. Disgusting.

  21. Swineshead Says:

    You fear anything outside your comfort zone, Nappers. You’re a wimp – that’s the long and short of it.

  22. Napoleon Says:

    Wimp? Pah! I’ve eaten some of the most ghastly foodstuffs this world has to offer, I’ll have you know. I’ve projectile vomited oysters, had to go for a lie down after eating sea slug, and been left feeling like death after being hoodwinked into trying white pudding. My caution nowadays stems from a lifetime of eating vile rubbish from abroad (and Scotchland). That’s learning your lesson, is that.

    And you don’t put syrup on bacon, neither.

  23. Swineshead Says:

    I agree, syrup on bacon is infantile.

  24. Mel Says:

    Oysters aren’t vile, they are delicious. Projectile vomit, however, not so tasty

  25. Napoleon Says:

    I wouldn’t have had it on bacon as an infant, neither. There’s only two things you put on bacon: brown sauce or, if you’ve a stronger stomach than mine, tomato ketchup. And then you serve it in a bap. Or in a breakfast.

  26. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – There’s nothing delicious about oysters. They’re disgusting tasting things with the texture of tramp’s hockle.

  27. Mel Says:

    Nappers – i suggest you might be doing it wrong. They are delicious and creamy, the fresher the better. If they have the texture of a tramps hockle you must be eating very old ones – or cooked ones.

    What about apple and cinnamon as a pancake flavour?

  28. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – They’re disgusting, and that’s that. Steak’s much better. Or bird seed, if you’re one of these vegetarian idiots.

    Apple and cinnamon as a pancake flavour? Is the apple made from lemon juice? No? Is the cinnamon made from sugar? No? THEN NO.

  29. Mel Says:

    well, i also think lemon and sugar is a runaway winner, but we are doing pancake day round ours tomorrow, and i thought i would poll my internet friends about what i should feed my real life friends tomorrow, just in case there might be a flavour combination that could be as good.

    I don’t think banana qualifies, personally. Eurgh

  30. breeks Says:

    oysters are yum. fact.

    syrup on bacon is yum. fact.

  31. Mel Says:

    what about crepes suzette?

  32. breeks Says:

    i knew a slightly-paedo old dude who used to make crepes suzette whilst wearing a chefs hat and apron from the dorchester.

    i’ve never liked them since.

  33. indy Says:

    i’m planning to go to london just to see if cb is right ’bout the crisps. has anyone tried them? is he right/wrong or somewhere in between. personally i’m a ready-salted crisps kind of guy. if i want some flavour i rather make some kind of dip than buy ‘flavoured’ crisps.

    real life crisps incident: i’m having a friday night in my sofa just enjoying a movie. i turn to my girlfriend and ask her if she’d like to have some crisps. she says no but i drag myself to a night open gas station and buy a bag. when i return home my girlfriend complains about me picking ready-salted crisps, even though she didn’t want any.

    this incident seems to repeat it self now and then. last time it happened after asking my girlfriend if she wanted a sandvich, which she didn’t want, but after having seen my chicken/avocado sandvich she changed her mind and insisted we’d share mine, leaving me half-satisfied and fully annoyed. anyone experiencing the same situation?

  34. extremelisteningmode Says:

    You mean you liked paedos before?

  35. Mel Says:

    Hmm, i can see your point.

    I have never tried them, actually, because there always seemed to be nicer desserts on the menu, plus i hate people making a fuss at the dinner table, and anything that gets flambeed at the table falls into ‘making a fuss’ as far as i am concerned.

  36. breeks Says:

    ELM – obv.

  37. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – Oysters aren’t yum, they’re vile. And syrup on bacon is an abominable ordeal to put any self-respecting rasher through. Those, my dear, are the facts.

    Mel – Lemon and sugar.

  38. Napoleon Says:

    Indy – Every man whose ever been in a relationship has experienced this phenomenon. My missus specialises in not wanting any of my Maltesers, and then ‘sharing’ (stealing) my fucking Maltesers.

    Women are despicable creatures.

  39. Mel Says:

    INdy – have you ever had dill sill pancakes?

  40. Excelsior! Says:

    Used nutella once. That was alright.
    Also tend to use golden syrup rather then sugar.

  41. breeks Says:

    NC – your grasp of what constitutes a food fact is tenuous at best. i suggest a night down at your local multi-ethnic food hall to inform your intestines and sooth your sphincter.

  42. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – Multi-ethnic food hall? Balls! D’ye hear? You’re worse than the Nazis.

  43. Mel Says:

    There is also that birthday cake pancake affair with cream and strawberries that they have in Sweden, but since it is winter, and strawberries in the Northern Hemisphere are tasteless and mushy, i will avoid that one.

  44. Napoleon Says:

    The bloody impertinence of some spam e-mailers! Who the hell do they think they are calling me ‘Ben’, as if we’ve been friends for years? Bloody cheek! These people should have their innards dragged out of their ears with hooks.

  45. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – They’re all sex mad in Sweden. Best avoid that pancake recipe in case it turns you into a raging pervert.

  46. Mel Says:

    Nappers, i can categorically say that is not true all of the time. I live with a Swede…

  47. indy Says:

    “INdy – have you ever had dill sill pancakes?”

    dill/sill pancakes is a joke but this cream/strawberry pancake sounds like a traditional swedish “pannkakstårta”. it’s a good desert even though it’s considered a bit childish/silly. none of my friends would make a pannkakstårta without irony or a threat of extreme violence.

  48. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – Nah, they’ren all sex mad. That’s a fact is that. Denying it would be like denying the fact all French people are shoulder-shrugging rapists who stink of onions, garlic and cowardice in the face of the enemy (Germany).

  49. Mel Says:

    Well, my BF’s family insist on waking up the birthday person with one at some ungodly hour singing ‘Ja Mor du leva’ at the top of their lungs. But then, they also all ask for spaghetti and ketchup and nothing else for their birthday breakfast. I think they think it is funny.

    I am also aware that sill should only be eaten with potatismos, but was wondering if it could be adapted for an international twist on the pancake?

  50. indy Says:

    mel: i do recommend that you surprise your swedish boyfriend with a “fläskpannkaka” – an ovenmade pancake with tiny bits of bacon in it served with lingonberry jam. that is proper swedish husmanskost.

  51. Mel Says:

    Nappers – i thought they were all cheese-eating surrender monkeys?

  52. Mel Says:

    Indy – i was forced to eat them at some twee festival we went to near Ostersund. They put far too much lard in, and far too little pancake batter, in my opinion, but you are right, i should try that one. Tack!

  53. indy Says:

    sill (pickled herring) should NOT be eaten with potatismos (mashed potatoes) but with nypotatis (baby potatoes) and a dill/sourcream sauce. it’s a dish that is served on our midsummer holiday and is traditionally served with a nubbe/schnaps.

  54. Napoleon Says:

    Bacon? In a fucking pancake? What the hell’s going on? I’m beginning to have my suspicions that this ‘Indy’ character is, in fact, Piqued in disguise.

    On a separate subject, that baby-faced father who got his missus up the duff when he was twelve should be torn limb from limb by bears. His missus should be flame-throwered.

  55. Mel Says:

    Ok, but stekt stromming goes with potatismos.

    Maybe i could do one with löjrom and sour cream and onions?

  56. Mel Says:

    Nappers, i think this is a tragic case. There is such a lot wrong with it, but apart from anything else, it must have been one of those parents (not the children that had the child) that sold that story. Poor kids – all three of them.

  57. Napoleon Says:

    What? What language is this? Lojrom? That sounds like something you’d find in a toilet.

    Whose side was Sweden on in the War?

  58. Mel Says:

    Nappers – all of them!

    Löjrom is fish eggs. They are considered a delicacy over there, and they eat them on toast with sour cream and red onions.

  59. indy Says:

    nappers: bacon in pancake (fläskpannkaka) is classic swedish working class food – food for men (this being equalist sweden) AND WOMEN working in the ironworks, the mines and the lumbermills.

    sorry, but i’m not piqued in disguise. i’ll make it up to you by lending you my flamethrower if you go along with your plans for the 12-year old “parents”.

    mel: stekt strömming goes with potatismos.

    “one with löjrom and sour cream and onions?” what “one”?

  60. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – It may be tragic, but that still doesn’t stop me wanting to see that boy being torn apart by live bears. And once the girl’s been dealt with by those flame-throwers, the baby should be put in a workhouse. And not one of these fancy new workhouses they have nowadays, neither. A Victorian workhouse where they serve gruel three times a day, and the kids sleep in beds covered in snow.

  61. indy Says:

    nappers: which war? we crushed the papists during the 30-years war, fought with the brits against napoleon and stayed out of the two world wars by acting like cowards and turncoats (first allying with the germans but then gradually swinging to the allies after stalingrad etc).

  62. Mel Says:

    Wow – gruel three times a day. That sounds like one of your soft Northern workhouses NC. You wouldn’t know you wee born!

    Indy – one was referring to the pancakes that I am cooking for guests tomorrow, on account of it being pancake day and all.

  63. breeks Says:

    re: the shagging children.

    there are another two kids in the picture as fathers as apparently the 15yr old mother shagged a 13yr, 14yr and 15yr old adolescent at similar times.

    unless it was all at the same time.

    the parents of said girl-mother let them stay over, sayeth the metro. which is of course the oracle of all things truth and balance.

    dutch food is odd. rollmops (pickled herring) and droppies (salty licorice). wrong. krentenbollen and ollebollen (deep fried wotsits bit like donuts but way bettere) are, however good.

    i can swear in dutch, actually.

  64. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – Fish eggs? I might have to go for a lie down …

    Indy – This food of yours sounds hideous. I suggest the reason you’re all perverted sexual deviants is because of this food. Maybe if you’d eaten proper food (beans, chips, shepherd’s pie), you’d have invented the modern world like wot us British did. Instead, you’ve wasted your time fiddling about with each other’s bits ‘n’ bobs. I think it’s disgusting.

  65. Mel Says:

    Breeks – i completely agree that Dutch food is foul.And they have something called Febo here – where one purchases hot food from little plastic vending machine cupboards. Bleurgh.

    I don’t like the habit of rolling stuff in breadcrumbs and deep frying it. I can handle the haring, as it is not too dissimilar to inlagd sill, as mentioned above.

    Fritjes and mayonnaise is good though.

  66. Napoleon Says:

    German food’s the worst. Some of the slippery filth I see my missus guzzling down turns my bloody stomach. There’s me, with my sausage sandwiches, and there’s her wolfing down stinking fish wrapped around gherkins and onions. Who eats that, eh? Nazis, that’s who!

  67. Mel Says:

    Nappers – the Germans love a bit of sausage…

  68. indy Says:

    mel: i’ve never heard of pancakes with löjrom, sourcream and onions. seems a bit unconventional but not necessarily wrong. “interesting”.

    breeks: salty licorice. what’s wrong with that?

    nappers: well, who invented the dynamite? i think you are confusing us with the degenerated dutch (even though they apparently “get” salty licorice).

  69. breeks Says:

    indy – it’s wrong, that’s what is wrong with it.

  70. Mel Says:

    Indy – i can do unconventional in spades!

    In Sweden they also have a really quite nice chocolate bar called Plopp. And they have these jelly sweets that are called familjen Guff, but i am told they are Danish in origin. It was always hilarious when i took those back to my colleagues after a week in Sweden.

  71. indy Says:

    german food is, at it’s worst, the culinary equivalent of being shot by a dicke bertha in the stomach. however, i’ve never said “nein” to a schnietzel with mayo and chips while dining in some “dorf” by the autobahn.

    when in new york, me and my missus were forced to eat at a georgian (russian georgia, not american) eatery. worst. food. ever. badly cooked meat wrapped in wet dough and covered in liquid fat. having being served this insult (having to pay for it) i realised where all the hate that drove georgian-born stalin to execute millions of his fellow countrymen came from.

  72. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – I can attest to the fact that, yes, the Germans love a bit of sausage. Bratwurst, Bierschinken, Cervelat … oh, did you mean cocks?

  73. Mel Says:

    No Nappers, i meant sausage. What do you take me for?

  74. breeks Says:

    NC – will you cook my dinner?

  75. Napoleon Says:

    Indy – I’ve eaten some rotten rubbish in the former communist states of Eastern Europe – very similar to your Georgian cuisine experience. I asked for a salad once, and got a huge glass full of lettuce, rancid cheese and salt water. No wonder it took ’em years to overthrow their commie overlords eating shit like that. I imagine they were too busy shitting ’emselves, the idiots.

  76. indy Says:

    mel: yeah, plopp. it’s also marketed under the name “center”, but in different shape (plopp is rectangular whereas center is kind of like a cut of cone). some conspiracy theorist say that a) center is a grown-up alternative to the whimsical nonsense-named plopp, b) that its filling isn’t as sweet and c) that it is filled with plopp-filling that has past its best-before-date.

    it’s a swedish area-51!

  77. indy Says:

    nappers: you should have enjoyed your glass of salad. a friend of mine asked for a salad in a russian resturant and got homophobic insults.

  78. roszs Says:

    German food is meat-tastic. I once ate an udder in a restuarant in Munich.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – I think you’ll find it’s you women wot cook the dinner. It’s part of a housewife’s duty, along with ironing, cleaning and drinking cooking sherry.

  80. Napoleon Says:

    Indy – I ordered the salad after a prolonged period of eating nothing but deep-fried cheese washed down with beer. I thought I’d plump for the lighter option, you see? I now realise the salad was a punishment trap, those rat bastards.

    Roszs – German food is an abomination. And the way the buggers guzzle it down is a disgusting sight guaranteed to turn a British stomach. Nazis.

  81. Mel Says:

    So, let me get this straight, Nappers. You don’t like German food, yet live with a German, and think that only women are allowed to cook.

    Do you live on ale and fresh air normally?

  82. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – She’s only half-German. The other half is Scotch … so, yes, I live mainly on booze.

    Most monstrous temper you’ve ever seen on a woman. It’s like living with an angry Rottweiller.

  83. Mel Says:

    Sounds like the right kind of girl for you then NC!

  84. indy Says:

    nappers: deepfried cheese sounds familiar. a friend was encouraged to try “russian” pizza. it turned out to be three layers of cheese on a dough mainly made of, surprise, cheese. i am not very picky when it comes to food and i generally like cheese but this cheese didn’t have any taste whatsoever. we had to use extreme amounts of salt and pepper to give it any taste at all.

  85. Mel Says:

    That sounds a bit like halloumi. That tastes of nothing, but the “novelty” is that it squeaks when you eat it. Rubbish cheese, that is.

  86. ugeine Says:

    I’ve just had some tesco value cheese in a sarnie. Bloody minging, like chewing a flannel that some fat guy used to wash his back sweat with.

  87. Napoleon Says:

    I was hoodwinked into the relationship by that old favourite – tits ‘n’ ass. Mind you, she’s a damn sight better than my previous long-term partner. An evil she-devil with giant udders and an arse you could use as a carpenter’s bench. I was tricked then, too. She was sixteen when I met her, and didn’t expand until she was twenty, the deceitful bitch.

    I hope she’s butchered by a serial killer.

  88. indy Says:

    mel: halloumi tastes salty at least and if properly fried the texture becomes tolerable but this “pizza” wasn’t anything like it.

  89. Napoleon Says:

    I like TESCO value cheese. I like loads of sub-standard foodstuffs, me. If I was given the choice between a free slap-up dinner at a posh restaurant in London, or a free burger from a funfair van, I’d plump for the van. I’ve never had a bad meal from a van – even the ones that gave me food poisoning were delicious.

  90. indy Says:

    people who buy fresh vegetables and fancy stuff are cheaters! my chef of choice is making good dinners out of the tesco value sortiment.

  91. ugeine Says:

    How can you like it? It’s got nothing to do with the price or fact it’s a ‘value’ product, and more to do with the fact it tastes like a rubber made out of arse sweat.

  92. Napoleon Says:

    I was reading somewhere that there are over four hundred different sorts of cheese in the world. I’ll bet my trousers most of ’em taste like shit.

  93. Mel Says:

    Indy – you only think fresh vegetables are fancy because for 6 months of the year the only veg you can get are potatoes and beets. You need to get yourself one of those vegetable sheds that look a bit like air raid shelters. Then you could have veg all year round too.

  94. Napoleon Says:

    Ugeine – I love it! I love its nuclear orange colour, its rubbery texture, its almost total lack of flavour. And anyway, how do you know what arse sweat tastes like? You’re not Swedish, are you?

  95. Swineshead Says:

    Ever tried Lincolnshire Poacher? That’s a good cheese.
    I should know – I just savoured a bag of wotsits like a cheese connesseiuer (sp)

  96. indy Says:

    mel: getting a “glashus” is a bit complicated when living in “central malmö” (which for a londoner looks like a couple of council flats thrown randomly into a forest)

  97. Mel Says:

    SH – Is that the one that comes wrapped in nettles, a bit like Cornish Yarg, but it is kinda soft?

  98. Mel Says:

    Ah i love Malmö, Indy. If we ever move to Sweden, that is where i want to live.

    The other half says no, but we will see…

  99. Napoleon Says:

    I like Wotsits. I wouldn’t say they’re my favourites, but they’re definitely up there in my top ten of good, honest British crisps. I have no time for the fancier crisps.

  100. Nick of the T Says:

    Roszs- why doesn’t that surprise me?

  101. roszs Says:

    Halloumi is delicious, you are all mad. MAD.

  102. breeks Says:

    i ate schweinfleisch with a bulemic in the black forest of eastern germany. afterwards we drove to the czech border so she could have a chunder and i could buy some cheap fags.

  103. Mel Says:

    AFAICR vomiting was not illegal under the Eastern German Communist regime was it Breeks?

    Roszs – halloumi, tastes of nothing, except squeak.

  104. indy Says:

    mel: no one loves malmö. it’s a run-down modernist experiment/post-industrial hell that is turning to a sleep-town due to a silent danish invasion (because of tax-dodging). the golden era of malmö was the between 1945 and 1960 when the shipyard went well (mostly because every shipyard in the world had been bombed during the war that we cowardly dodged). before and after that it’s been windy, bleak and grim.

  105. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve just realised that if this was Logan’s Run I’d be fucked. Thank Christ we’re not living in Logan’s Run.

  106. Mel Says:

    But they have great policies on food in schools and hospitals, are generally quite green, and you are really conveniently located for some of the nicest beaches in the country in the summer. Torekorv (sp) for example, being a mere hour or so away.

    I will grant you that the flats all look a bit horrible, but i will live in a lovely village in a traditional house.

  107. Mel Says:

    That was malmö, not the place that Logan lived…

  108. Swineshead Says:

    I like haloumi.

  109. breeks Says:

    here you go. my aunt just sent me this. she’s a right wing fascist but yet a designer wearing capitalist.

    she’s a contradictory yet rich pain in the ass. she has no children but her dogs and 15 years of my teenage life so we remain in touch.

    http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=b94bcefd81&view=att&th=11f7f33b4e055986&disp=imgs

  110. Swineshead Says:

    Nobody but you can see that, Bree, as we’re not logged into your gmail account.

  111. indy Says:

    …malmö is also the place most likely to have race-related violence (i’ve been a victim of this personally) and riots. currently there is a media storm going here about a policeman from the anti-riot force having a racist rant getting caught on film.

  112. breeks Says:

    oops. oh well.

    and sorry.

  113. Mel Says:

    See Indy, you should work for the tourist board for Malmö. I guess i will be scuppered though. When me and the bloke have talked about living there the conversation goes like this:
    Me: I want to live in malmö
    Him: No, if we move to Sweden, i want to be near my family and friends
    Me: But surely being in the same country as them already means that you will be nearer.
    Him: Grrr

  114. Napoleon Says:

    Isn’t a right-wing fascist more likely to wear capitalist designer clothing? Unlike you wooly-headed dogs on the left, with your sandals, tie-dye shoes and organic trousers?

    You buggers make me sick. It’s all liberal this and liberal that, but when you get your hands on the reins, it’s all gulags, cabbage soup, secret policemen and show trials. Bunch of bloody hippies / iron-fisted dictators.

  115. indy Says:

    mel: i don’t know where you are living right now but i’ve found living in ilford, finsbury park, clapham, hackney central and homerton more charming than malmö.

    i haven’t given basra, kabul or mogadishu a fair chance yet.

  116. Mel Says:

    well, the conversation above is the reason that we moved away from the UK, to live in Holland. It is really very pleasant here, apart from all the krokketjes.

  117. Napoleon Says:

    If I could live anywhere, I’d live on the moon. That way, when I needed a piss, I could piss on everything in the world. That’s your dogs, your cats, your tigers and lions and elephants … everything. All of you, drenched in my piss as I laugh and laugh and laugh with contempt for you all.

  118. breeks Says:

    NC – dark side or light side?

  119. Mel Says:

    Does NC have a light side?

    I bet he would choose to live in the bit furthest away from humanity. I am surprised he did not want to go and live on Neptune.

  120. Pages tagged "fiendish" Says:

    […] bookmarks tagged fiendish Horizon: Why Do We Dream? saved by 4 others     erin1209 bookmarked on 02/17/09 | […]

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