Cadbury’s Eyebrow Ad

by

With the public going batty for healthy comestibles, now is a bad time to work in the snack food industry. Vilified on television, snack foods are shown as the reason for poor, twenty-four-stone Janine from Slough being barely able to lift her bottom off the sofa, and also why the nation’s children are wobbling balls of fat in Jamie Oliver’s School Dinners. Give it ten weeks and your humble packet of salt and vinegar crisps will be held responsible for the recession, knife crime and the breakdown in relations between the UK and Russia.

So, you’d imagine it would be quite hard working in the marketing department at Cadbury’s. I remember chocolate adverts from my youth, usually featuring a cartoon frog in a baseball cap screaming its lungs off, designed to get us kids worked up into a pestering frenzy. The money-shot would always feature an enlarged shot of the chocolate bar, with all the different layers of chocolate, sugar and marshmallow labelled. Like porn for chocaholics.

To do that now would not only be impractical with all the anti junk-food advertising laws around, it would also make your ad’s guilty claims of being ‘more chocolatey then ever’ seem unappealing, almost perverse when displayed next to promotions for organic celery sticks and drum-wheat cracker bars.

So, the new trick is to resort to novelty promotions that do everything to distract the public from what they’re promoting. Poor old Walkers had to drum up some novelty flavours, from Chilli & Chocolate to Menstruating Goat ‘n’ Cress.

Cadburys have taken a different route, and the result is 30 seconds of very surreal television that makes about as much sense to me as the time I hit my head and tried to listen to BBC Cymru.

The advert stars two kids, both abducted from a special needs school in the 80s, who wiggle their eyebrows in time to some funky electro pop. The boy on the left is common or garden funny-looking, but the girl on the right is something else; a cross between those spooky little girls you get in Japanese horror films and the child of Frau Farbissina from Austin Powers.

By the time she starts to squeak a balloon in time to the music, you’re not only left confused as to what’s been advertised, you’ve also forgotten who you are. Your jaw hangs open as you stare agog at this new watershed in pointless advertising. It might work to the extent that it has distracted you from the unhealthy nature of the food whilst subtly reminding you that chocolate is fun, but it’s messed me up so much that I can’t decide if I hate it in all it’s fake internet meme glory or not.

I spent half an hour last night watching it on Youtube, oscillating between abject hatred and childlike affection, while jamming milk chocolate bars into my face at a rate of six a minute. At least it’s temporarily stopped me from thinking about eating healthily.

That might have been the point in the first place, come to think of it.

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72 Responses to “Cadbury’s Eyebrow Ad”

  1. Cadbury’s - The Eyebrow Ad « Watch With Mothers Says:

    […] Cadbury’s – The Eyebrow Ad « Watch With Mothers […]

  2. Tom Laird Says:

    Being Scotch. I do not know much about healthy eating, or advertising for that matter. But it seems to me that adverts must be anything other than forgettable. Therefore advertisers are perfectly happy to bamboozle or irritate the fuck out of you in equal measure as long as their product sticks in your bonce. Remember the Jewson adverts? I’m still trying to hunt down the perpetrator of that one like a Mossad assassin. Or those adverts with that fat bolshevik Ricky Tomlinson in. Throwing his militant lefty views to the wind for filthy capitalist lucre.
    I’m happy to say I can’t remember what he was advertising.
    FAIL

  3. Nick T Says:

    I only eat dark chocolate now.
    This ad gives me the creeps.

  4. Napoleon Says:

    Tom – Knowing that rat Tomlinson, it’ll be some left-wing guff he was advertising. Probably lesbians or that Greenham Common shower. Bring back Thatcher, that’s what I say.

  5. Nick T Says:

    Wasn’t he also a member of the nationala front or somesuch ?

  6. Swineshead Says:

    Dickinson’s real Deal got a bit frosty just then… was on the edge of my seat.

  7. Napoleon Says:

    Nick – He can’t have been in the National Front, surely? He was all right-on and left wing. They don’t usually let that sort into the National Front. Or do they?

  8. Nick T Says:

    Shit SH, I’m missong it!

  9. Nick T Says:

    Peter Rabbit?

  10. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve never watched Dickinson’s Real Deal. Is it any good?

  11. Nick T Says:

    Yes nap, it’s class

  12. Napoleon Says:

    Is it? Is it as good as either Last of the Summer Wine or XXX Road Trip III? These are the benchmarks by which all televison is weighed and measured in my house.

  13. Nick T Says:

    It’s a cross between “Going For A Song” and “Lovejoy”

  14. Tom Laird Says:

    Nah! Tomlinson was in Militant. He was one of the soap dodging work shy who went around assaulting and threatening decent hard working miners who wanted to day a days work.

  15. Napoleon Says:

    ‘Lovejoy’ is all I need, Nick. If something’s even remotely like Lovejoy, I’m in.

  16. Nick T Says:

    Ahem……http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/true_spies/2361313.stm

  17. Napoleon Says:

    Tom – One o’ those, was he? That bloody miner’s strike got on my nerves. There I was, trying to read my copy of The Beezer with the bloody lights going off every five minutes. Who do those miner’s think they were in the ’80s, eh? Bring back Thatcher, that’s my advice.

  18. ugeine Says:

    Wasn’t as bad as the 2002 mime’s strike.

  19. Napoleon Says:

    Or the 2000 BC Midas strike. Couldn’t get something turned into gold for love nor money …

  20. Nick T Says:

    I did post a link to the BBC website but wordpress has stopped it.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/true_spies/2361313.stm

  21. Napoleon Says:

    They should lock that Tomlinson character in the Tower for being a traitor.

  22. Tom Laird Says:

    Well they did lock him in a room with Caroline Aherne for what seemed like years. Filmed it to.

  23. Tom Laird Says:

    A scouser as well. That seals it. TWAT!

  24. Nick T Says:

    Rough old coiple on Kyle…ouch!

  25. Swineshead Says:

    I can’t see how him being a scouser confirms anything.

  26. ugeine Says:

    Sitting around watching daytime tv while us good honest decent folk are pretending to work… tsk.

  27. Swineshead Says:

    I’m watching a half decent horror film at the moment, called Splinter. It’s about zombie type people who got killed by trees and have got all splinters up their faces.

  28. Swineshead Says:

    Ugeine – if my cunning plan fails, I’ll be back at work as soon as I can convince some moron to employ me, don’t you worry about that.

  29. ugeine Says:

    Which plan would this be? One so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel?

  30. Napoleon Says:

    I’m doing bugger all too. The most productive thing I’ve done all day is eat some cheese.

  31. Swineshead Says:

    I’m selling this site to a Russian ogliarch (or something) for a pound. When I’m a poundionaire, you lot can get fucked. I’ll be too focused on spending my pound to talk drivel in here any more.

  32. Swineshead Says:

    Cheese, eh? I ate some crisps earlier.

    Have you seen Punisher: War Zone, Napoleon? It’s a right laugh. Lots of guns.

  33. indy Says:

    i’ve got the “lighthouse watcher’s” pass today. all lonely in a smelly danish office building. gives a lot of oppurtunities.

  34. indy Says:

    sh: speaking of russian ogliarchs where’s toothed varmint?

  35. Napoleon Says:

    Lots of guns? Well that’s just rocketed to the top of my ‘To Watch’ list. Thanks, Swineshead.

    I hope it doesn’t shit me up like that last one you recommended. That shit me right up.

  36. Swineshead Says:

    Indy – deported, I’d imagine.

    Napoleon – It’s not scary in the slightest. rec gave me a good shitting up, I have to admit, but P:WZ is straightahead rocket launchers and machine guns. The best bit is when one of them urban street jumpers does a somersault from building to building and gets blown up mid-air by a grenade launcher.

    KABOOM!

  37. Nick T Says:

    Have you plans for another WWM podcast?

  38. Napoleon Says:

    That sounds like the best film ever made. I haven’t been this excited since the second Smokey & The Bandit film.

  39. Napoleon Says:

    Nick – We did, but then Piqued had a bad family thing happen, so it’s been put on hold until he’s back to his old self.

  40. ugeine Says:

    Anybody watched Cyborg Cop? Absolute Tour De Force.

  41. Napoleon Says:

    Cyborg Cop? You don’t mean Maniac Cop, do you? I fucking love Maniac Cop.

  42. indy Says:

    any film where parquerers (sic) (street jumpers/tw*ts) are blown up makes it to my “to watch list”

  43. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve just looked Cyborg Cop up. It looks ace.

  44. ugeine Says:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyborg_Cop

    NP: It is cyborg cop, starring the magetic John Rhys-Davies as a mad scientist.

    The tag line is ‘Human, robot or cyborg killer?’

    Forgetting that a cyborg is a robot, unfortunately…

  45. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Indy, my sweet princess, I think you’d quite enjoy District B13 then, wouldn’t you? We could watch it together one night if you want.

  46. Excelsior! Says:

    “deported, I’d imagine.”

    Can you get deported from the internet?

  47. Napoleon Says:

    Thank God for that – Dave’s back. Finished signing on, Dave? You flabby leech.

  48. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Not only did I sign on but I also purchased a six pack of Pepsi Max and a scratch card as well. I missed you too.

  49. indy Says:

    myopinionstuff: tihihi. oh stop it!

  50. ugeine Says:

    Did you get the depressingly patronising ‘121’ interview where they show you how to use the search engine on the job centre website?

  51. Napoleon Says:

    I won £2 on a scratchcard the other day. Even though I’d doubled my stake, I was still miffed. It was £100,000 I was after, like.

  52. Nick T Says:

    Good, I thought it sounded like a more abusive version of The Word one.
    Get it on the iTunes next time eh what?

  53. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Ugiene – No. If I was the kind of moron that needed a leaflet instructing me on how to use a simple search tool, they’d better give me a second leaflet showing me how to operate the first leaflet as well, and so on.

  54. Nick T Says:

    £86 million on the euro this week…..

  55. ugeine Says:

    I must have one of those faces then, Dave.

  56. Napoleon Says:

    £86 million? Fuck me. Imagine what you could do with that kind of money, eh?

  57. myopiniononstuff Says:

    It’s pissing it down up here though so I wondered into a strange room within the village’s town hall (where they make you sign on) with my vision obscured by my glasses, shouting ‘Job Seekers Allowance, Job Seekers Allowance’ at the top of my voice to three disturbed Scotch women.

  58. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Something soap-based?

  59. Nick T Says:

    I reckon one could buy Iceland Nap

  60. Napoleon Says:

    How much do nuclear missiles cost?

  61. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I’ll make you a dirty bomb for a fiver out of the little metal things you get in smoke detecters and an egg timer.

  62. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I also know how to make a small Victorian petting zoo by simply mixing a range of household cleaning products with baking soda.

  63. indy Says:

    i’ll make you a dirty bomb out of a handgrenade and a poo

  64. badgermadge Says:

    BMTV’s sexist (but true) thought of the day:
    Women don’t need advertising for chocolate.

  65. Nick T Says:

    I want to buy this http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260368670624&fromMakeTrack=true

  66. Rodimus Says:

    A cyborg isn’t a robot.

  67. Napoleon Says:

    Isn’t it? I thought a cyborg had wires and cogs and what-have-you? Like wot a robot has?

  68. ugeine Says:

    You learn something new everyday.

  69. Napoleon Says:

    You do, don’t you? Where I’m going to use this new piece of information, Gawd only knows. Still, it’s nice to know.

  70. indy Says:

    1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
    2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
    3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
    4. Don’t mention the Fight Club.

  71. indy Says:

    robots makes lousy dominatrixes.

  72. ugeine Says:

    heh.

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