NewGush: Mitchell’s Corporate Moan


Click here.

A quite amusing video of David Mitchell slagging off Dragons’ Den, The Weakest Link and Come Dine With Me with aplomb.

I wonder how much he’s getting paid for these ‘Soap Box’ clips? Perhaps he could reserve his next rant for comedians who waste material on promoting cleaning products?

I suppose we’ve all got to make our dollar somehow.

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80 Responses to “NewGush: Mitchell’s Corporate Moan”

  1. indy Says:

    i wonder where he’s wasted his apple ad cash?

  2. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Why would you use green/blue screen technology when you could simply hire a function room in any hotel in the land? Tit.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    He’s not a tit. Why’s he a tit?

  4. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Because he’s used green/blue screen technology to create the illusion of sitting in a perfectly normal looking room. That’s why he’s a tit. Other than that he’s a sharp, bright and funny commentator. His articles in The Guardian are always of interest.

  5. piqued Says:

    It’s far cheaper to use green/blue technology

  6. indy Says:

    myopiniononstuff: his articles in the guardian are rubbish unless there is another david mitchell that also writes articles in the guardian and does not get published on the website.

  7. piqued Says:

    David Mitchell writes for The Observer doesn’t he? I don’t think I’ve seen him in The Guardian. Or am I splitting hairs.

    Splitting Heirs, that’s a gr8 fillum

    *eats lead*

  8. Napoleon Says:

    I reckon they should publish Littlejohn in The Guardian. Teach these sandals-wearing lefties what common sense looks like.

  9. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Piqued – You’re right on both counts although I could make a petty argument to counter your first one. I read his Observer articles on The Guardian website, that’s the confusion.

  10. fourstar Says:

    myopinionstuff: Well, it’s your opinion….stuff.

    But do you think he made all the production decisions? Or perhaps he actually wrote some witty ~3 minute clips and some other people worked out a way of recording them all?

    Because if you look on the site, he’s done about half a dozen of these so far, and they’ve all had the same green screen format, allowing him to be placed in a wide variety of situations, some of which were not as easy to reproduce as a standard hotel function room.


  11. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Fourstar – It was a cheap comment, I haven’t been arsed to watch the other videos.

    But even if he is imposed onto improbable backdrops in other clips it doesn’t excuse the lack of imagination displayed in the one I’ve just seen, does it? Plonking him on a table.

    And he probably did have a say in how the thing was produced, considering he wrote the three minute clips.

  12. Napoleon Says:

    Splitting Heirs is hilarious! I like it when it turns out that Rick Moranis on roller skates is the real lord Eric Idle’s been sent to meet, and not the stuffy English fella he originally thinks he is. I also like all those bits with Catherine Zeta Jones in. It’s only a shame that my Zeta Jones sex fantasies have been sullied by a paparrazzi image in Razzle that showed she’s got tits like spaniel’s ears.

  13. piqued Says:

    How fucking tedious

    I’m enjoying them all immensly

  14. fourstar Says:

    myopiniononstuff: OK, you win, I’ve got work to do 🙂

  15. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Fourstar – YES!

  16. fourstar Says:

    myopiniononstuff: But I’ll be back….

  17. Napoleon Says:

    A rare victory for Dave there.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    I wish I’d never posted this now.

  19. Napoleon Says:

    It’s going well, Swineshead.

  20. myopiniononstuff Says:

    What does one win when one wins an argument? Coupons?

  21. Swineshead Says:

    Onwards and upwards, eh?

    Incidentally we had one of our best days ever on monday and now we’re having one of our worst. What a different a week makes, eh? Seven little days.

  22. Swineshead Says:

    ‘Difference’, obviously.


  23. piqued Says:

    There’s a lot of tit in here today as well

  24. Napoleon Says:

    I reckon the figures’ll shoot through the roof when WWM unveils its **EXCITING NEW WEEKLY FEATURE** on Tuesday.

  25. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I’ve got myself a job – as an office ASS for a Scotch council. Boring for me, great for you guys as you’ll be rid of me.

  26. Napoleon Says:

    Dave – Another soul-destroying descent into the underworld of shattered dreams, eh? I can almost hear your childhood ambition’s cries of, ‘Why? Why? Why?’.

    And then you’ll get sacked again.

  27. piqued Says:

    Yes, haven’t we been here before Dave?

  28. myopiniononstuff Says:

    The last job I had was customer service in a call centre so this new thing is much closer to a real job, I reckon.

    Besides, my soul’s been dullened enough by the grey vacuum that’s become my life. There’ll be no more anarchy from me, I know my place in the world.

  29. ugeine Says:


    *fingers crossed for a littlejohn editorial*

  30. piqued Says:

    Your violin is out of tune as well, Dave

  31. Nick T Says:

    They where very good them videos.

    Blue screen effects are very cheep, I can do em for less than a shilling.

    Is the new weekly feature a digest of the weeks comments?

  32. myopiniononstuff Says:

    What do you mean by that, Piqued?

  33. Who Says:

    Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, let Dave win at anything. Never.

    *shakes head*

  34. Swineshead Says:

    Nick – nice sarcasm there… I’m going to start doing those again soon, honest I am. I’ve just been having a bit of trouble.

    This new weekly feature sounds tantalising, Nappers. Whatever could it be??

  35. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Good luck Dave in your new job.
    Do not forget though in today’s recession ridden society, public sector workers are akin to bankers. The daily mail readership would have your wages off you in no time.

  36. ugeine Says:

    HA! Fourstar is the new Dave! Go wank in the dark, nocturnalwanker.

  37. Nick T Says:

    You’re sounding like Frank Spencer SH

  38. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I thought you were the new Dave, Ugeine?

  39. ugeine Says:

    I was for a day or two, but now it’s fourstar!

    Now I can take off this ginger wig.

  40. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I’m so utterly depressed. I’m off to get some parsley for a curry.

  41. ugeine Says:

    Cheer up Dave, at least your new blog has plenty of comme….


  42. Who Says:

    He’s done it again. Parsley curry?

  43. piqued Says:

    He’s like The Britney Spears of mismatched Asian cuisine/herbs

  44. Napoleon Says:

    Swineshead – I’m afraid I’m not at liberty to divulge what this **EXCITING NEW WEEKLY FEATURE** is. You’ll just have to find out next Tuesday when WWM’s **EXCITING NEW WEEKLY FEATURE** makes its debut.

    Ahem …

  45. myopiniononstuff Says:

    1 pork chop, bone removed, diced
    2 tbsp olive oil
    1 clove garlic, chopped
    ¼ potato, diced
    ½ red chilli, sliced
    ½ tsp mixed spice
    2-3 cardamon pods
    1 tsp curry powder
    handful of peas
    1 tomato, diced
    120ml/4fl oz water
    1 tbsp PARSLEY, chopped’


  46. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    That curry’s for wimps.

    ½ red chilli, sliced —pah! (what you gonna do with the other half).

    and don’t get me startred on “¼ potato, diced”.!!

  47. Who Says:

    Madhur Jaffrey must be shitting herself

  48. Swineshead Says:

    Go the whole hog, Dave – stick some pickled cabbage in there.

    Nappers – that sounds exciting, that feature. I bet it’s going to be lovely.


  49. piqued Says:

    1 tsb of fresh chopped parsley? Hardly worth it frankly

    (1/4 of a diced potato? You using a microscope and a scapel to do that?)

  50. Swineshead Says:

    Seriously – don’t get DINLT started on “¼ potato, diced”. There’ll be hell to pay.

    You don’t have to be Madhur Jaffrey to work in Dave’s kitchen, but it helps!

  51. Nick T Says:

    This is where I will be dining tonight

    I’m waiting for my email to be read out on Danny Baker.

    It’s no kneeling ox though….

  52. piqued Says:

    ‘(what you gonna do with the other half)’

    *pulls down Dave’s thong*

  53. ugeine Says:

    That actually sounds pretty tasty, Dave.

  54. Swineshead Says:

    At least Dave’s trying. It’s better than his usual Dairylea creations.

    Leave the poor dark-wanking lad alone.

  55. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I’m going to make a potato stamp with the other half as it’s a Friday.

  56. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I’m going to put the whole fucking potato in, I’ve decided. Go fucking mad with it.

  57. Who Says:

    You’re right, SH, sorry. I hope you enjoy your delicious curry and have a lovely time with your potato stamp, Dave.

  58. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    atta boy Dave, live dangerously and put the all of the chilli in too (sliced and don’t forget to wash your hands after slicing it).

  59. Swineshead Says:

    I wasn’t telling anyone off, by the way. Just making myself seem like a good person.

    Dave – Put your cock in it too. Go on.

  60. ugeine Says:

    To many cocks spoil the broth, guys.

  61. ugeine Says:

    Haha, that was meant to be cooks.

  62. Nick T Says:

    Some one has highjacked my email by telling the same story as me.


  63. Napoleon Says:

    From The Sun:

    “Vampire movies are ripe for spoof and this doesn’t stray far from the path of modesty trodden by Hammer House.

    Impish Swede MyAnna Buring and Paul McGann as a vampire-hating vicar both play it brilliantly deadpan.

    Other reviewers will say that Lesbian Vampire Killers is another British comic flop, but The Sneak won’t be driving that stake into its heart.

    By the end of the movie your critic had lost control of his funny bone.”

    Is ‘The Sneak’ Paul Ross’s new name?

  64. Nick T Says:

    Lesbian Vampire Killers is ace!
    Maddy Whatshername is in it init?

  65. ugeine Says:


  66. Nick T Says:

    Wrong film…
    I was thinking of this

  67. Nick T Says:

    Just got my email read out on Danny Bakers show!!!!
    Take that SH

  68. Nick T Says:

    Yeah ..

    *slinks of home*

  69. ugeine Says:

    Bunch of tee-rards.

  70. myopiniononstuff Says:

    The curry was good.

  71. charliemingles Says:

    this wasnt amusing in the least. peep show was one of the best sitcoms ever writtten and hes great in that. just shows you how lost an actor is without his script. PS: arent policeman looking yuonger these days?

    (as you can see, im not funny, now that I have to work for a living. still … I have shit loads of cash – so fuck you all)

  72. Napoleon Says:

    Mingles – You never that funny when you were working from home, frankly.

  73. charliemingles Says:

    same to you – you gummy northern twat.

  74. Swineshead Says:


  75. charliemingles Says:

    just like old times boys!

  76. charliemingles Says:


  77. Napoleon Says:

    Big cocks?

    Anyway … where the fuck have you been, you bald Scotch git?

  78. charliemingles Says:

    We disagree on many things sir … brown sauce vs ketchup on bacon sandwiches … the merits of Holby City … whether I am bald or, in fact ( as is technically accurate) possess a full lustrous head of hair

    But we can surely agree on one thing – there are not nearly enough banks in the world.

    With this in mind, I have been helping to set up a brand new one from scratch.

    My pleasure.

    In a world of turmoil and change, it’s nice to know I’m doing something useful with my life.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    Oh, I see. Sounds a bit dull, that.

    Anyway … you’re all bald and that’s the end of THAT.

  80. charliemingles Says:

    well, we cant all make a living from wanking and drawing cartoons … unfortunately.

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