The Friday Question – Killer Combos

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Friday Question - Killer Combos, image by BP Perry

After carefully examining the available evidence, your Honour, WWM has concluded the Armstrong / Miller / Mitchell / Webb cross-contamination incident which occurred on last week’s mainly mirthless Comic Relief was surprisingly good. Indeed, the pairing was such a roaring success (well … it was in the context of the rest of the pig shit on offer that night anyway), it’s got us wondering what other television super groups we’d like to see grace our screens.

Would the epic teaming of Loadsofmoney, Kevin’s Teenager, Stavrakebabros and Wayno and Waynola Scum in the same sketch produce comedy gold? Or would it go down about as well as setting light to your own farts would at a family funeral?

Would Paxman and Humphries bating the same politician at the same time be the greatest political interrogation tag team the earth has ever seen? Or would they end up bickering amongst themselves, leaving their quarry to slink back to Westminster unharmed?

And just how much of a disaster would Jim Davidson & Ben Elton’s Big Break actually be?

So, come on, WWMers! Let’s have your ideal television mash-ups! Who do YOU think should team up to produce television magnificence, and who do you reckon would go together about as well as a shit and pickle sandwich?

Over to you …

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98 Responses to “The Friday Question – Killer Combos”

  1. ugeine Says:

    Monkey tennis?

  2. Swineshead Says:

    I would watch a spin off from Eastenders featuring Minty, Gary, Mickey, Gus, Ricky and various love interests called The Walford Boys – about the travails of the Queen Vic’s 5 a side football club.

  3. breeks Says:

    colleen rooney and trevor mcdonald do ‘trevor’s real men’.

  4. Napoleon Says:

    I’d watch ‘The Walford Boys’.

  5. Swineshead Says:

    That idea reeks of chemistry, Breeks.

  6. breeks Says:

    i know. reckon trev’ll give her one?

  7. indy Says:

    austrian miserablist elfride jelinek writes friends episode. and puts ralph cifaretto from the sopranos in it as the new neighbour. and maybe corden can come over and show his belly. to add some comedy to it.

  8. Napoleon Says:

    *sprays self liberally with Lynx deodorant*

    Well come on then, girls, I’ve done my bit.

    *waits*

  9. Nick T Says:

    Fry & Littlejohns’ Saturday Night Takeaway.

    Listening to the latest “The Word” podcast on my way home last night wound me up so much I could have punched a nun.
    Perhaps later

  10. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    It actually happens and is awful…those “celebrity” football matches that usually proceed a World Cup tournament.

  11. Swineshead Says:

    Horne, Corden, Katy Price, Two Pints of Lager, some Celebrity Juice and A Packet of Crisps.

    Put all the crap in one half hour slot and open up some valuable space in the schedules.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    I listened to that, Nick – what got your goat particularly?

    The sound of a load of journalists trying to impress / cowering from their Editor?

  13. Napoleon Says:

    Nick – The Word’s a big pile of shit. I haven’t listened to the podcast, but I’ll wager that’s a big pile of shit too.

    How’s about Horne, Corden, Morecombe and Wise? Five minutes I reckon before Horne and Corden slink off the stage with their tales between their legs.

  14. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Should have been preceed.

  15. breeks Says:

    katy brand and russell brand – wrestlemania.

  16. Napoleon Says:

    Tails.

  17. Swineshead Says:

    Are they a tag team or up against each other, Breeks?
    *mind boggles*

    The Words alright, but as Ashby once remarked – written for middle aged white men and generally about middle aged whit musicians. And The Wire, a few months too late.

  18. Swineshead Says:

    Spelling is atrocious today, me included.

  19. Napoleon Says:

    Mr. Blobby meets The Royle Family – see how long that fat bastard Jim Royle can sit in his chair eating sweets with Mr. Blobby rolling around his living room causing chaos.

  20. Nick T Says:

    The smugness and fawning.
    The flawed Van Morrison arguemet.
    Picking on easy targets ie rich celebs Ross et al.

    Twats!

  21. Nick T Says:

    Could I ask for your comments here

    http://nicktann.blogspot.com/2009/03/doh.html

  22. Nick T Says:

    My spelling is always bad when I’m at work. At home my mac fixes it for me.

  23. Napoleon Says:

    Nick – You didn’t expect smugness? From The Word? The smuggest music magazine available on the planet?

  24. ugeine Says:

    I think an hour long show starring the main stars of each major quiz panel show. Team One: Buzzcocks, Phil Juptius and Simon Amstell. Team 2: HIGNFYs Ian Hislop and Paul Merton. Team 3: MTWs O’Brein and Frankie Boyle (I didn’t count 8/10 cats ‘cos it’s crap). Without the usual comedians, pop stars, celebrities and the like to rip on, and the lack of quiz questions means they have to chuck insults at each other.

  25. Napoleon Says:

    “At home my mac fixes it for me.”

    Wow! Apples have spell checkers?

  26. Breeks Says:

    Sh – both?

  27. Napoleon Says:

    Question Time meets Question of Sport – The same format and guests as QT, but all audience questions are about sport. See how that smug bitch Hazel Blears gets on with a question about the 1981 Ipswich Town UEFA Cup winning side.

  28. Napoleon Says:

    According to an advert on the television, taking some pills turns you from a fat woman into a bikini-clad super goddess. Somebody should tell these doctors who advise exercise and a balanced diet that they’re talking out of their arses.

  29. indy Says:

    naps: “…they’re talking out of their arses.”

    fat women’s arses or bikini-clad super goddess’?

  30. Napoleon Says:

    Doctors, Indy. I’d be happy to listen to anything coming out of a fat or bikini-clad woman’s arse except farts and shitting.

  31. indy Says:

    you see:

    iiiiiiiiiiii like big butts and i can not lie, you other brothers can’t deny… etc

  32. Napoleon Says:

    Have you been using Lynx deodorant?

  33. Nick T Says:

    Naps, yup.

  34. ugeine Says:

    Great use of Ralphie there indy. Love that character. ‘You little hewer!’

  35. Nick T Says:

    It seams that fooball folk love the fat ones comic relief monologue to the England team. Other don’t.

  36. ugeine Says:

    Another great Ralphie Sopranos moment:

    Tony: Do any of you ever think Ralph’s been, you know, weird around women?
    Sil: Well Ton, he did beat that one to death over, what was it again?

  37. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Villareal v Arsenal.

  38. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Man U v FC Porto

  39. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Liverpool FC v Chelsea

    Pghhh!

  40. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Barca v Bayern

  41. Napoleon Says:

    DINLT – I’ve just been consulting the stats, and your last two comments have sent WWM’s readership into the red for the first time in the site’s history. Talking about football is the kiss of death! Please, for the love of God, STOP!

  42. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Arsenal v Chelsea final eh Swines!

  43. Nick T Says:

    Thanks for all your interesting comment here

    http://nicktann.blogspot.com/2009/03/doh.html

    *sobs*

    *chews sprout*

  44. Swineshead Says:

    DINLT – this is not the place for that chat!

    (Villareal are hardly an easy win – welcome home Pires!)

  45. Swineshead Says:

    Percy Ingles baps (chicken and sweetcorn) are shit, by the way.
    Too much marge and barely any filling.

    I’m making my own next time.

    Antiques Countryfile Massacre – John Craven and Michael Aspel argue violently over whether the countryside is better than antiques.

  46. Napoleon Says:

    Surely, if we take Lovejoy as our benchmark, antiques and the countryside are one and the same thing, aren’t they?

  47. Swineshead Says:

    Lovejoy and Eric Pollard (antiques dealer in Emmerdale) can referee.

  48. Swineshead Says:

    Mikey really has killed the thread with those football ties – the dem fule.

  49. Napoleon Says:

    There should be a blanket ban on football talk, I reckon. I love the sport dearly yet, like having an obsession with cars, I know it’s like farting in a lift to non-believers. DINLT should be fucking ashamed of his’sen.

  50. Swineshead Says:

    He really should. Back to the topic!

    How about a lesbian sitcom starring the Nolans, Floella Benjamin, Christine Bleakely and Pam St Clement?

  51. indy Says:

    ugeine: you can’t go wrong with the ralphies. i’d like to put ralph out of simpsons in it as well…

  52. Napoleon Says:

    I’ve just looked at Google Street View and there’s my house in all its dog shit-riddled, paint-peeling, dirty-windowed, overgrown-gardened glory. You can even see my computer on in my living room.

  53. Napoleon Says:

    I’d watch that lesbian sitcom as long as it bore no resemblance WHATSOEVER to that Dawn French / Jennifer Saunders / Ruby Wax / Tracey Ullman monstrosity they had on in the ’80s.

  54. godshatmyipod Says:

    I’m going to resurrect my Female Newsreader Mudwrestling idea, and see what happens.

    The prize goes to whichever female newsreader manages to successfully read the news off the autocue, whilst rolling around in the mud and being sprayed with gunge.

    Bikinis optional.

    First round;

    Emily Maitlis vs Fiona Bruce
    Katie Derham vs Sian Williams

  55. indy Says:

    lesbian sitcom…

    l word scripted by larry david would be -interesting-

  56. Swineshead Says:

    The man at the metalworks on my street looks a bit put out by the presence of the google CCTV on my streetview.

  57. Swineshead Says:

    Girls on Top, Napoleon. A new low.

  58. Napoleon Says:

    If you zoom into my house, you can clearly see a turd on my path. Amazing what they can do with technology nowadays, isn’t it?

  59. Napoleon Says:

    That was it – Girls On Top. Fucking appalling. Another ensemble piece that needs throwing into the same furnace as Peter’s Friends.

  60. Swineshead Says:

    On the news last night they had a bloke on streetview snapped coming out of an adult book shop. The poor sod was very much recognisable. Just wait till he gets home!

  61. piqued Says:

    Tell me about SH, mother was furious

  62. indy Says:

    sh: “…coming out of an adult book shop.”

    he READS! middleclass wanker!

  63. Napoleon Says:

    There’s a man on the radio saying paedophiles can use Google Street Maps to pinpoint houses with children in them.

    So, who wants to top ’emselves first?

  64. Swineshead Says:

    Russell Brand, on his now defunct radio 2 show was talking about how, in the US, there’s a map on google maps that shows where paedophiles live – and if there’s a bunch under one roof it shows it as a palace – which is pretty stupid as children like palaces and might mistakenly go and check it out.

  65. Swineshead Says:

    Piqued… what were you buying?

    (Can I borrow it)

  66. indy Says:

    sh: “…very much recognisable.”

    apparently he missed the memo about always wearing trenchcoat and hat when going to the adult book shop. i’ve never been to an adult book shop but i can imagine it looks like a dr gadget convention.

  67. piqued Says:

    You’ll have to ask my dad SH, it wasn’t me

    (he likes things with poo)

  68. Napoleon Says:

    I’m amazed people still buy porn. The amount they spend could be used on a reasonably fast broadband subscription, the fools.

  69. ugeine Says:

    It’s true, Napoleon. Any paedophile can see the children in the house (using boy-love-x-ray) and then if said child is unsupervised. Then all they have to do is get on their roof and, using a complex system of clapping signals, they notify other paedophiles to the child, who saw the man on top of his house clapping on google maps. You couldn’t make it up, etc…

  70. Swineshead Says:

    *chortle*

    http://darkbeige.blogspot.com/2009/03/say-cunts.html

  71. indy Says:

    sh: this palace symbol, does it also show if there is one pedophile living together with a monkey (in a palace-like building)?

  72. Swineshead Says:

    Napoleon – it’s the experience of buying something – of having ownership. Who can deny the pleasure in removing the packaging on a new purchase?

    And the sheer joy of having to hide that thing you own because it’s got gaudy, overlit pictures of women covered in all spunk all over it.

  73. piqued Says:

    I wonder what the collective noun is for a bunch of Pedos?

    A pubeless of fiddlers?

    A nipper of bastards?

    A preskool of soap dodgers?

  74. Swineshead Says:

    Indy – I haven’t checked as I’m not overly concerned about where American paedophiles live.

    If I ever send my as-yet-unborn kids to school in America I’ll let you know immediately.

  75. Swineshead Says:

    You’re associating a lack of hygiene with paedophile tendencies there, Piqued – which is not necessarily fair. Matthew kelly’s beard always looks well groomed.

  76. piqued Says:

    You’ve a point SH, though Chris Langham always looked a bit ravaged

    (btw, can you send me test email from your new account)

  77. Napoleon Says:

    Ugeine – I think it’s disgusting that Google’s letting any old Tom, Dick or Harry know children live in houses. You may as well just give these paedophiles the key to our kids’s knickers now, and have done with it. This is worse than people taking photographs of parks that show children playing in the background. What if a paedophile’s taken that photograph? Or a terrorist?

  78. Swineshead Says:

    I got your other email – I just didn’t reply because I couldn’t believe your nerve at emailing me without asking permission first.

  79. piqued Says:

    You didn’t get my letter then? Oh.

  80. Swineshead Says:

    As a protest against this street view nonsense I just picked up the child of my next door neighbour, pulled his pants down and walked around with him on my shoulder in a fireman’s lift, pointing at his end as if to say ‘Come and get him, paeadoaeds! You might as well have your way – let’s cut out the streetview middleman!’

    i am writing this from a high security prison.

  81. indy Says:

    so how come we cannot mention the british isles any longer, without thinking about the paedoph-isles… etc

    (probably misquoted)

  82. Napoleon Says:

    There’s a child just walked past my house ON HIS OWN. The parents should be ashamed of themselves. I mean, who lets a fourteen year old out on the streets on their own in this day and age? What if a paedophile snatched them? Or a terrorist?

    Or, God forbid, a paedophile terrorist?

    *rings social services*

  83. piqued Says:

    I bet he’s not on his own now eh Nappers? Eh? Eh?

    *Gets train*

  84. Napoleon Says:

    I don’t know what you’re implying, Piqued, but I think it’s disgusting.

  85. piqued Says:

    I was implying he’s safely in care of the authorities, is that so bad?

  86. Nick T Says:

    Don’t have this street view thing where I live.
    I suspect the resident chavs would have pinched the cameracar and ramed it into a £1 shop and used the proceeds to buy drugs or sumink…

    *made it up*

    Dave, Richard Bucket is a blundering baboon.

  87. Napoleon Says:

    Oh, fair enough. I hope he is, for his sake.

    When I have kids, I’m not going to let them see the outside world until they’re in their late twenties.

  88. Nick T Says:

    More Peep show to come!!!

  89. indy Says:

    piqued: authorities?! a kid left in the hands of authorities! do you know what authorities do? they teach you stuff, employ you and, if you’re unlucky, sends you to war etc.

  90. Nick T Says:

    New Ramsey series sees him shipped off to India….

  91. piqued Says:

    Indy, I should’ve thought… forgive me. Can you?

  92. indy Says:

    …ok.

  93. piqued Says:

    Fankoo

  94. indy Says:

    killer combos: myra hindley and ian brady?

  95. ugeine Says:

    I’ve found a brilliant plan to stop my future offspring falling prey to paedophiles. When they reach about five, I’m simply going to bugger them senseless to stop a child molester from getting there first. It was a great idea, I got it off of an old Austrian penfriend that I’ve since lost contact with.

    One day I’ll find you, Joseph.

  96. indy Says:

    “the world’s most hated austrian” says a swedish tabloid.

    the nazi pr-dept are doing hi-fives.

  97. ugeine Says:

    The Nazi Party has never ordered an offensive on a ten year old boy.

  98. ugeine Says:

    (Brass Eye)

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