Those of you who live in London and are able to watch television at around 8.27am may be aware of a phenomenon that destroys my sunny disposition, without fail, every weekday morning.
Vanessa Feltz may get good ratings from the demented Daily Mail readers who tune in to her Radio London broadcast, but do the BBC really have to advertise that it’s coming on during the local news portion of BBC Breakfast?
The disturbed termagant DESTROYS my day!
I’ll be sitting there, wolfing down my marmitey toast as Riz Lateef rattles off the day’s events, supping a caffeinated beverage whilst Dani Sinha grins her way through yesterday’s occurences when, as if to deliberately startle me, the vision of Feltz’s neurotic moon-face suddenly pops onto the screen like a vision from Hades.
Like an awful premonition of doom.
Like a reminder of the very real possibility that, upon leaving my dwelling, I could be faced with any number of horrific personalities only yards from my door.
BBC: I command you! Stop soiling the cosy friendliness of your morning output with the hideous, warbling caw of this shrewish BASTARD!