And another one bites the dust. Dennis has been removed from the house for spitting at fellow contestant Mohamed. They’ve really picked a lovely bunch of people this year, eh what?
I didn’t take to Dennis from the off. What with his being an androgynous leotard-sporting retard who immacs his chest, thinks he’s the bee’s knees and looks like Rab C Nesbitt’s wife.
Is anyone watching?
I very much doubt it.
Comments for this post – a prediction:
Zero.
From The Press Association:
Alexandra allegedly made the comment about gangsters while speaking to albino contestant Darnell, while a number of other housemates were in proximity.
According to Channel 4’s transcript, while discussing the fact that she had been nominated, Alexandra told Darnell: “I’m not throwing water at anyone. It’s bigger than that…personal offence is never forgotten, do you know what I mean?
“We are just inside the house. I’ve got a very, very, very, very, very strong team outside the house”.
She added: “I just can’t wait to see my mans and them and see what their plans are, who they got…I’m not talking about those mans, I’m talking about my gangster friends. They got some instructions to follow out.”
She added later: “I get to go out, see everyone’s friends, I get to see their family. I get to do the s*** that I wanna do. Pow, pow, pow.”
Angela Jain, Head of E4 and Big Brother at Channel 4, said: “Alex’s comments will be widely interpreted as having been intended to intimidate. Other housemates have said they found her comments to be threatening and we believe that is the reasonable conclusion for them to have reached given the way Alex has behaved previously.”
Making threats alluding to gun-crime… very smart work, that – given the current climate. Pow, pow, pow indeed.
For those of us still half-watching (I find myself tuning in on catch-up, then tuning out after half an hour) – this is good news in that the tedium of Alex’s self-important screech has been ripped from the screen. When muslim Mohamed pulled on a frock for a laugh, she told him ‘you’ve disgraced me and you’ve disgraced your religion’, which is not only harsh on the ear in terms of mangled grammar, it also has a vague waft of persecution about it. She’s not a Muslim after all (no matter what she may have said). She was purely using his faith (waning or otherwise) against him.
Having said that, BB without incident and controversy is literally a bunch of idiots being nice to each other in Ikea. I only really catch it to see what monstrous individuals our publishing and broadcasting industries have created. So now my fingers are crossed that maybe Darnell is secretly a trained killer, or Mikey’s a psychopathic robot and real violence is going to kick off.
In other news, last night I genuinely had a nightmare involving me attending Mario and Lisas’ wedding. It was in a car-wrecking yard and featured Brad Pitt who, despite being called Brad Pitt, resembled a young Jason Donovan. It was awful.
I watch too much TV. Remember I told you.
The row that kicked it all off:
Watching BB on your behalf
Here’s the lowdown on Mario
Mario – Well, back home where we come from, we have a fan club.
Lisa – Mario was watched by 14 milion people on the Ant & Dec.
Mario – I’m 43 years old, i’ve spent years networking and meeting people, I know literally millions of people.
Lisa – Literally millions.
Mario – That is a literal amount of people.
Lisa – And he’s Project Manager of the biggest toilet installation firm in Warrington.
Mario – I think of meself, as I’ve said before, as a Manager of people. Feel me hair – it’s like a pineapple!
Lisa – His hair, eh? Like a pineapple ain’t it?
Mario – See, I’ve got experience of all this, so I wear me hair like a pineapple. Like they do on the Ant ‘n Dec. See Mikey?
Mikey walks into a wall
Mario – From a Health and Safety aspect, Mikey – that’s a no-no.
Continues to impress himself with tales of his time on Ant & Dec whilst holding mug of tea in manly fashion.
Fin
Watching BB because nobody else is.
Here’s the lowdown on Alex.
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – Yeah bu…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – But you’re just repeating yoursel…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – Everything you’ve said is nonsensica…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – But you’re clearly thick as pigshi…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – That’s not a coherent argu…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – Bu…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – Wha…
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – *commits suicide*
Alex – Remember I told you
Other – *silence*
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
Alex – Remember I told you
(FADE OUT)
Watch With Mothers 
