Posts Tagged ‘Comedy Dave’

The Chris Moyles Podcast

November 10, 2008

chris moyles

As Radio 1’s weekday morning DJ, Chris Moyles has a lot of airtime to fill.

From time to time, he slips up, taking leave of his senses or saying something offensive – his ‘racist moment’ with Halle Berry being a case in point. At other times he’s allowed his guests to veer into offensive territory and not apologised on their behalf – take Rio Ferdinand’s casual homophobia as your example. As it happens, I find it difficult to hold this stuff against him.

I only know about those moments of madness because I’ve read about them. When he makes a TV appearance, Moyles comes across as boorish and uncomfortable in front of the camera, but his employment is as a disc jockey, so in the interests of fair-play it’d only be right to download the podcast and judge it on its own merits.

And surprisingly, it does have its merits.

Having endured George Lamb’s ‘cast this year and having found it to be little more than a handful of berks shouting in a room, Moyles and his pals have elements to their show that make it superior. They have that essential asset they call continuity. They also have (and I can’t believe I’m typing this) some pretty good gags littered about their material. I know. I was shocked too – but I actually chuckled at a song they wrote in a Eurovision audition with Andrew Lloyd Webber in which they mocked the fabric of the competition with lines like ‘everyone’s afraid of Russia’ and jibes about the Balkans’ monopoly on the votes.

All good stuff, but the delivery hints that it’s all very much prepared, from Webber posing as though he’s not aware that it’s a set up to Moyles’ supposed reaction to his charge’s work. They’re slick when it comes to the banter. Too slick, in fact, for this to be the off-the-cuff stuff it claims it is.

There is, of course, a huge amount of dross. Where the likes of Adam & Joe fill their filler with childish but amusing blabber, Moyles and pals resort to talking utter shit. But at least it makes sense. Frequently sexist and rarely self-aware, the opening banter between two of the ladies in the studio about bra sizes led the big man to explain that their conversation had caused to him thinking about their two forms indulging in a lesbian embrace. He then added that the idea did nothing for him.

Not funny, not relevant, no point whatsoever.

Later, a discussion about Daniel ‘Dead Wife’ from the X Factor which started pretty well degenerated as ‘X Factor’ turned into ‘Breast Factor’. Presumably Moyles isn’t allowed to use the word ‘tits’ at that time of the morning, and the fact he’s forced to use the word ‘breasts’ makes it all the more sinister. He turns from the lad he wants to be into the sinister berk he actually is, waffling on about boobies when nobody else cares about his mother complex in the slightest.

The show is littered with your standard wacky (80s-style) sound effects and crrrazy incidental music, all of which presumably wake up your average listener as they struggle over breakfast with a hangover, but all of which serve to make the banter barely audible at best and migraine-inducing at worst.

The Smashie and Nicie comparisons don’t stop with the irritating external noises. There are constant references to great mates and in the 25 minutes I listened to, Cheryl Cole, another one from Girls Aloud, Fearne Cotton and Gary Barlow were all mentioned as Moyles prematurely trailed his participation in a Comic Relief stunt a year in advance. And to make matters worse, he then started slobbering over the thought of Fearne C with all the grace of a sex offender. Skin-crawling stuff.

Despite the drivel he comes out with, and even though I lasted just short of half an hour, I can see why Moyles has the job. He does what he does and is what he is. His show may be a pile of shit, but it’s very slick shit. You may be glad you’re not in the studio with him, but everyone seems to be having a fun time. Compare this to Lamb’s show where the forced laughter actually sounds like it’s causing tonsilitis and the jokes are witless, repeated catchphrases.

Time to get back to ignoring Moyles. Let the man do what he does best – entertaining idiots. He might eventually go away.