Posts Tagged ‘Emily’

Big Brother’s Big Mouth (Again)

June 8, 2007

 Emily

George Galloway is helming the satellite show this week, and he’s doing a pretty good job of it. He takes it so bloody seriously, it’s hard not to stifle a chuckle as it’s like he’s roaming the American Senate again. It’s almost possible to forget the cat business.

Last night, he had a proper issue to get his teeth into.

It’s hard to imagine what’s going through the minds of Big Brother bosses at present. Probably some smugly self-congratulatory back-slapping going on over there, given their reaction to the racist language used by ex-housemate, Emily Parr in light of what happened last time. It was very much a run-of-the-mill Big Brother until Emily, brainless bozo that she is, remarked to Charley: ‘Are you pushing it out, you nigger?’ Now – whether she intended to sound ‘street’ as Gorgeous George asserted, or whether this language is so commonplace in her social network’s lexicon is pretty much irrelevant. I agreed with the general consensus in the studio. It was said to a relative stranger, flippantly, and it caused offence, so damn right she should be removed.

Charley’s reaction was fascinating to watch, for all the wrong reasons. Some may have thought she was trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, but they’d be wrong. I think she was genuinely having problems with the fact that the word was supposedly said in jest, yet she couldn’t assuage just why it had been said in the first place. She also knew the reaction would be harsh. You can’t fault her for panicking a little and discussing it with Nicky to straighten her thoughts out on the issue. She continued to speak to Emily in the aftermath, pursuing her reasons for speaking that way, but also made it clear she wasn’t judging her.

For the second time in two series, we’ve been privy to someone being offended in one of the most base ways imaginable. Without any thought about the actual meaning of the word, Emily allowed the word to ‘slip out’, she claimed. Without wanting to sound like a teacher, these words shouldn’t slip out and they also shouldn’t be among the mind’s options of words to use in any social situation. Self-censorship shouldn’t really have to come into play, in the same way that, whilst observing a friend’s young child, the words ‘nice arse’ wouldn’t just ‘slip out’ under any circumstances.

BBBM dealt with this fairly well, but it’s essential that Emily is provided with after-care and advice on how to deal with her situation. After all, the language in this context was not malicious. It was foolhardy, misjudged, misguided and fucking idiotic, but most importantly, offensive. All the same, it was simply that, an act of foolishness which may offend, so I think any tabloid lynching should be put on hold.

All in all, the whole situation only makes the Shilpa Shetty incident earlier in the year seem even more rank. Why wasn’t Jade removed from the house? Why is Danielle still tabloid fodder? Their use of language was clearly vindictive but it was allowed to have carried on. At least we’re being reminded that Channel 4 haven’t been sufficiently punished for their lack of action last time around.

Here’s the clip:

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Big Brother 8

May 31, 2007

Big Brother 8

10 Week Wankathon

And that’s just Carol, the bearded Aunt Flo who hates cock.

Davina was looking nice until she started doing that crouching, gurning Davina thing, and there we were, it’s BB as we all know and pretend to despise.

With regard to my blog on yesterday’s piqued (clang) the house made more than a passing reference to surrealism, or rather Dali. Yellow Mae West lips sofa and fish rather than lobster telephone. Ironically and tellingly such forced ‘weirdness’ is negated by an otherworldly collision of style, impracticality and cruelty. I’ll even accept the chickens in resin a la Damien Hirst’s Away from the Flock was a nice touch. This is the nastiest house yet, bath in the living room, fridge in the garden, cooker in the bedroom and Catholic in the kitchen or something.

In they came, a pair of vacuous blonde twins in minis chewing on lollies, Lolita x 2, Nabokov would pissed out his testis. They’re both as sweet as pie, cute, vacuous and wholly evil.

“Let’s put the next one in!” bellows Davina as if hysterically announcing the second solid shit she’s passed in 6 months.

Lesley, bloke-faced member of the Women’s Institute, I reckon she spends a lot of time in meetings showing the ladies of Charwood how to take out the vas deferens just by hearing. She’ll get on well with the hairy whale, if she doesn’t roundhouse her face off first.

Charley, instant bonk on, fucking fabulous body but with a face that isn’t quite as pretty or lascivious as it thinks it is. Imagine the body of a younger Tyra Banks with the head of Snoop Doggy Dogg winking at you. Quids in, gold digger. She seems like trouble but will probably keep her horns in until dick walks in…

Next Tracey, fucking awful multicoloured anachronism from the awful, hideous days of early rave. Looks like Johnny Rotten – she’s definitely been abused. Thick as Mr. T with a boner. Awful.

I’m looking forward to seeing Chanelle cry. She’s the visual equivalent of downward convergence. Really fucking thick this one, dead posh, but weirdly thinks she’s a certain footballer’s wife. I’m not even lowering myself to say which one as the cunt would appreciate the recognition and she doesn’t deserve any. Fucking fantastic arse though. Freshly dead, I would.

Shalamanom, didn’t catch her name, oddly I quite liked this one, first possible contender. She’s going to be annoying, yes, but so long as she doesn’t turn into a berk, then she’s fine by me. Full of beans, I’d like to see just one of them.

By now the women are grouping. In the red corner, screeching totty, in the blue Tragic Tracey and Livid Lesley. She’s well unhappy, yeah?

In comes Emily, David Cameron with a fresh young vagina. If that chilled you as much as me, I will say no more. Apart from the fact that if she saw so much as a fibre of a quark of tissue on your lad, she’d disinfect the tyres on her range rover.

Laura I really liked, big fat Welsh girl. Sweet, likeable, funny, eating disorder, one of those fat trendy Beth Ditto types, sort of the perfect media ‘anti zero’ size. In my opinion she’s the clear winner so far, she’s marketable out the house and I can predict the rumblings of a media drive to keep her profile sweet. Despite being the size of a chest freezer she’s pretty. After 10 pints and a microdot I’d think about it.

Nicky, straight, boring, sad, has ‘issues’. She’s adopted by the way, little too much information from the producers there, are we meant to be sympathising because she has the personality of public toilet? It’s okay though because, according to Davina as she walked into the house, ‘If Nicky was an animal she’s be a cat so she can lie in the sun all day’. So that’s cleared that up then.

Lastly, Carole, the old one. She’s been on Greenham Common apparently, I think that may well have been as recently as an hour before she appeared on camera. She’s hairier than Oliver Reed and Alan Bates fighting in front of an open fire. Not sure what to make of her, she maternal but aggressive. Outside chance.

So, there you have it, all women so far, 11 of them, that’s 22 tits! One moan, the bloke that makes the ‘crowd’ signs, especially the one for the tool holding the pointy finger sign bearing the slogan ‘you ain’t seen me, right?’. Pass on your address and I’ll send someone round without a conscience.