NewsGush – I’m A Celebrity List Leak

Leaked?

Balls!

ITV couldn’t wait to shoot the list of victims for this years I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. So they pronged this one out of their press release machine early in the hope of getting some attention at the end of a newsless Tuesday.

We’ve posted the full list of desperate celebrities below, just like every other entertainment site’s done.

Make your own minds up as to whether they’ll provide an interesting sociological insight to the workings of fame or if they’ll once again offer only hours of tedium interspersed with the odd sighting of an ex-politician eating a maggot as though his life and credibility depends on it.

Martina Navratilova
How much do you get for winning tennis matches? I thought it made you rich?

Brian Paddick
Not half a year ago he was going for the Mayor of London job. Now he’s be aiming to pluck a plastic star off some string while rats piss on him.

Simon Webbe
Previously, Costa. This year, Webbe. Next year, Ryan. 2009, the one who looks like a beaten up Brad Pitt. 

Mickey Miller
Oh Christ, Mickey. I know I wished you out of Walford but I didn’t realise you’d end up this low. I’m so, so sorry.

Esther Rantzen
Work dried up has it, Esther? Resorting to this rubbish are you? That’s life, I suppose. Actually, I suspect you’re doing this because you’re a game old bird. God bless you.

Dani Behr
The girl with the knockers from The Word? Oh, right.

Carly Zucker
Already booked in for the ‘gratuitous bikini shot’ slot, recently vacated by the once-lovely, now desperately irritating Myleene Klass. Carly Zucker used to be Joe Cole’s roasting buddy, so don’t expect stimulating discourse.

Georgina Baillie
Oh fantastic.
Give… me… strength…

And at no extra cost, we present:

Robert Kilroy-Silk
Jesus Christ!
That’s, ‘job done’ by casting, as far as I’m concerned. RKS guarantees that at least the opening show will be watched, as people’ll tune in simply to see how that racist, self-righteous arsehole tries to present himself to a largely unsympathetic public.

It starts Sunday, if you can bear it.

NewsGush – Russell Resigns, Tabloids Triumph

Just to draw a line under this sorry saga (and if you haven’t been in the slightest bit interested, I apologise for the recent Brand-related news triptych), the last few days of complete stupidity and insanity have ended with Russell Brand quitting his post at the BBC. 

Taking the bullet for his friend, Jonathan Ross, in other words. Let’s not forget that it was the older of the two who blurted out the initial offending sentence.

I suppose, in some senses, Brand has also taken the hit on behalf of the BBC who, it has to be said, have behaved like disorganised buffoons throughout this farrago. They shouldn’t have put the recording out in the first place. They should have organised a public apology on behalf of all parties immediately and they should have ignored all the tabloid speculation.

But the real arseholes in this Kafkaesque trial by second hand information are – as usual – the tabloid press. Without the Mail picking up on the story and hypocritically running it endlessly (thus, presumably, adding to Mr Sachs’ embarassment) and without printing tittilating pictures of the supposed ‘fuckee’, this wouldn’t have reached the ridiculous heights it broached.

The Sun also went crazy with the story – as did all the tabloids including those with a more limited circulation – your London Lites, your citywide Metros. All expressing outrage whilst regurgitating the point of Mr. Sachs embarassment. Bizarre, eh?

To compound the weirdness, it seems Georgina Baillie has now signed up with Max Clifford – a day or so after he dumped Katona as a client. Some people are admiring of the girls guile and pluck. From where I’m sitting, it looks suspiciously like she’s exploiting the situation for personal gain. Exploiting her grandfather’s initial embarassment and milking this fabricated ‘shame’ for all its worth. I can’t believe that, by now, she’s still red-faced. Not with all those offers coming in.

The other aspect of this so-called scandal that makes it so very 2008 is the way information spread. Without Youtube, without messageboards and blogs, people wouldn’t have formed an opinion so quickly. The replay wouldn’t be available, so unless you’d taped it it’d all be hearsay.

It’s impossible to quantify whether this made the situation worse for the presenters and the BBC, but it certainly intensified the atmosphere. The web was alive with chitter and chatter and gasbag opinion. Mail readers suddenly found reason to comment on the Guardian messageboard. The papers and their websites couldn’t keep up with the bloggers who were formulating opinions left right and centre – and this aspect of the incident is something we should expect to see a lot more of in the future.

All in all, the ultimate tragedy of the whole affair is that, as a result of a very silly, vaguely amusing and massively ill-considered gag, the conservative element in the press and in the blogosphere has somehow managed to force the hand of the BBC using the most questionable tactics imaginable. They’ve also managed to make one of my favourite podcasters – a genuine talent, I feel – resign over what amounts to very little. I think that’s depressing.

It seems one squawking idiot can’t change a thing, but multiply him by a few thousand using the latest technology and soon enough you won’t be able to hear yourself think.

NewsGush – Brand & Ross Debacle Escalates

With this just in from the BBC, following front pages, comments from politicians and the blogosphere ignited, it seems nobody’s got anything better to report or comment on than this whole sorry affair…

And as a result, Ross and Brand have been suspended from the airwaves. More as a result of the furore rather than the stunt itself, one suspects.

Nice to see Georgina Baillie chipping in at last with some very Sun-style quotes. Off with their heads!

Maybe us bloggers helped this to get out of hand… and maybe politicians shouldn’t be asked such trivial questions. But on a day when Meredith Kercher’s killer has been jailed (one of three, potentially), an earthquake in Pakistan has killed loads of people and we’re all continuing to ignore this credit crunch business, is a silly phone call really something we should be focusing on? Of course, with this post I’m part of the paradoxical problem…

Isn’t it time we all grew up?