Posts Tagged ‘Guy Ritchie’

NewsGush: None of our business, but…

October 16, 2008

Apparently the clapped out pop singer Madonna and her career-kamikaze husband, poshcockney Guy Ritchie have split up. They’re going to divorce, it says here. 

The BBC have this as their lead entertainment story as it’s clearly far more important than the winner of the Booker Prize or the MOBO awards.

“They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time.

“A final settlement has not been agreed upon yet.”

My thoughts are with David Banda at this torrid and uncertain time. The poor little sod was half-inched from Malawi earlier this year to live in a mansion with a neurotic, self-worshipping mother and a father who’s undergoing a permanent identity crisis. His little head must be all over the place.

‘Who will I live with – the one I call ‘Mum’ or the one I call ‘Dad’?’
‘Am I being sent back to Malawi?’
‘Who are all these white people?’

NewsGush – I’m On The Corner of Baker Street

October 14, 2008

Terrible news for fans of literature / all that is decent. The rumour about Guy Ritchie’s plans to piss orange urine on the pages of Arthur Conan Doyle’s fine creation appear not only to be founded, but also somewhat advanced.

And it looks like they’re out to make Holmes an all-action kind of a character – when (from what I remember) in the books his physical attributes were only alluded to. Empire magazine says:

…this version looks to be more action packed than the traditional adaptations, with the filmmakers promising to make use of Holmes’ bare-knuckle boxing and martial arts skills (it’s OK, they’re skills mentioned in the books).

And, to add insult to injury, that complete and utter cock-end Jude ‘I am the’ Law is in it.

So thanks, Ritchie. At least with Revolver and Rocknrolla you were only fannying about with your own two-bit stories. What made you think you could mess with the big boys?