Posts Tagged ‘Ricky Gervais’

NewsGush: Friday Night With Jonathan Arghhhh…

October 17, 2008

Oh Christ. It’s bad enough usually, but tonight Jonathan Ross is hosting his mate Wicky Gervais in what’s becoming an annual slime-festival. Don’t they ever learn, these people?

[Gervais]… admits to being a big X Factor fan: “I get caught up in it. When it’s a genuine human interest story, I cry.

“It’s very well done, they press the right buttons emotionally.”

… Ricky says.

What the fuck? What’s wrong with him?

Wicky’s got a film to promote but to heap further nausea on proceedings, celebrity bully and all round complete and utter cock Gordon Ramsay will be interviewed to inject a little bit of Nazi P.E. Teacher comedy to proceedings.

No doubt someone will say a rude word! And they might be a bit rude to each other! Oh, what larks!

Thankfully, the guest roster is completed by the brilliant Sarah Silverman. She’s a favourite round my house. Her sitcom was great and her stand up film Jesus Is Magic made me laugh my arse off.

Alright, I admit it. I fancy her.

The Friday Question: Room 101

July 25, 2008

Room 101 has always been a mixed bag. Some contestants really understand the ludicrous premise and put abstract, absurd selections up for discussion – a couple of examples being when Spike Milligan chose Portsmouth and Chiswick Post Office  was selected by Sheila Hancock.

Others opt for uninspired choices – Ricky Gervais, supposed comedy behemoth, opted for ‘annoying noises’ which doesn’t show a huge amount of inspiration. Similarly, witless blockhead Gordon Ramsay chose traffic wardens, summoning all the creativity of a white van man in a coma.

Let’s imagine, like that bloke in the Commitments who pretended he was on Wogan while laying in the bath, we’re all celebrities and have been invited to sit with Paul Merton (or Nick Hancock) to discuss our pet hates.

So – what goes into Room 101?

Ho Ho Ho! Christmas Comedy

January 8, 2008

 The Green Green Grass

You are presented with a Christmas cracker. You pull it with your dear old mum. The cracker contains liquid dog shit that covers you and your mum in shit. You end up with shit all in your mouth, as does your mum. The shit then turns into a man made out of all shit and that. The shit-man bends your mum over and bum rapes her with his shit-cock. When he’s done, he wipes shit all over your mum’s arse then turns round and punches you with a big, shitty fist. The shit-fist bursts into a shower of shit and smothers your face in shit.

Christmas, you realise at this point, has turned to shit.

I’ve tried, but I can’t come up with any other way of describing the special Christmas edition of The Green Green Grass than the above passage. Maaaaaaaaarlene!

Then there was To The Manor Born, which achieved the magnificent feat of making you think you were watching a repeat of To The Manor Born on UKTV Gold. That’s not bad, considering this episode had never been aired before … yet it had … on UKTV Gold. Even though it hadn’t. Weird.

And it’s good to know that the likes of The Upper Hand, Goodnight Sweetheart and Birds of a Feather didn’t die in vain … because thanks to My Family, the flame of incompetent mainstream ‘comedy’ was burning bright this festive season. On The Up, Keeping Up Appearences, The Two Of Us, The Piglet Files, Three Up Two Down, and Brush Strokes – your legacy lives on!

And finally, Extras. Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, think you’d hear yourself say,

“Well it only really got going when Dean Gaffney showed up.”

No, neither did I.