Posts Tagged ‘The Wire’

The Friday Question on Thursday: CSI WWM

April 9, 2009

Bubble The Wire BBC Police Baltimore

It’s taken a mere eight years for the BBC to cotton on to the idea of broadcasting The Greatest Television Show Ever Made©. Somebody over at Auntie got round to noticing the loud noises being made by fans and critics alike, and the result is The Wire is finally being shown on BBC2. Still, to make sure it’s not going to get too big for its boots now it’s rubbing shoulders with the big guns of British entertainment, it’s being shown after Newsnight at 11:20 – the TV equivalent of the naughty step. “You may be the Big I Am over on satellite,” the BBC seems to be saying, “but over here, you’ll wait your turn until after Paxman’s had his say.”

Let’s hope this idiotic scheduling decision won’t last past series one. After all, there’s a nice, juicy slot at 9:00 p.m. on Wednesdays that’s currently occupied by the thoroughly rancid Heroes.

Come on, BBC! PULL YOUR DAMNED FINGERS OUT OF YOUR ARSEHOLES!

Anyway. To celebrate the coming to terrestrial TV of that black fella, that other, drug-dealing black fella, that mixed race oriental lesbian one, that one in charge who looks like a corpse and him off of 300, WWM turns its beady stare on the seedier side of life.

We want to know if you, the thieving, murdering, looting, pillaging, car tax-evading, benefit frauding readers of this ‘ere Watch With Mothers, have ever committed a crime.

Did you bludgeon granny to death for her pension money? Is dad buried under the patio? Are you and your sister indulging in the love that dare not speak its name, Dave?

Or did you simply give a copper some lip and end up hammering drunkenly on the door of a police cell after being arrested on a public order charge? And then have to stump up an £80 fucking fine at Sheffield police station in order to avoid the matter ending up in court? The rat bastards. All I said was the fucker looked like he should be picking shit out of his anus behind a perspex screen in Twycross Zoo. This country’s being run by Nazis, it really is.

Anyway …

‘Ello, ‘ello, ‘ello, what’s all this then?

WWMers, it’s over to YOU …

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The Friday Question: At Home On The Box

December 12, 2008

Last night, watching Eastenders (which is 100 times better than Coronation Street), I pretended I was an omniscient being floating from room to room and spying on the inhabitants of Albert Square like some spectre from the realm of reality. It was weird.

It got me to thinking, however. I began to ponder, which fictional TV world I’d move to if I was given the chance. Also – what kind of character would I be if I lived there… how would I fit in to the plot?

Would I move to the Chester of Hollyoaks, to be amongst the attractive 19 year old idiots? Would my part be that of a bungling shopkeeper?

Would I, perhaps, move to Wetherby so I could snooze my way through life in the 60s as the local drunk, occasionally receiving a harsh word from Nick Berry or whoever plays Heartbeat these days.

Would I move to the Baltimore portrayed in the Wire and be an overweight, cynical and obese cop with flatulence, an eating disorder and porn addiction?

It’s worth thinking about. For a bit.

So – which fictional word would YOU inhabit, and what character would you play?

The Friday Question: Character Empathy

September 12, 2008

When we watch TV drama or comedy – from the humble soap opera via the sitcom to the megabudget one hour Christmas drama special – we like to identify with at least one of the characters.

Character empathy gives us an anchor by which we can involve ourselves with the plot and all of the circumstances of the script.

I’m not talking here about fancying a lead character – that’s a discussion for another time. Keep your puerile fantasies regarding Gillian Anderson to yourself this time. I’m talking about the character in a TV show you most identify with – be it for their attitude to life, their personal circumstances, their appearance (and people’s reaction to it) or their lifestyle choices…

Are you down on your luck what with the credit crunch and finding yourself breaking down every time Perry Fenwick as Billy Mitchell has a snivel?

Do you like to walk through the rough part of town on a regular basis, playing Robin Hood for the crackheads as you threaten scary folk with a massive shotgun, a la Omar Little?

Are you reading this from a desert island like a tedious goon from Lost?

Are you supposedly ugly, when in fact you look quite normal – attractive even if only you’d sort your clothes and hair out – and happen to work in the rag trade like that Betty squirt?

Which television character do you most identify with?

Eh?