The Apprentice: Who Will Win? Week 4

Hint: It's definitely not this one
Hint: It’s definitely not this one

To prevent the unthinkable scenario in which I have to keep rereading your comments to see which contestant you individually flip-flopped onto the preceding week, we’re going with last announced favourite. So let’s look at where we stand.

Napoleon and fourstar are joined by Exelsior and Mel in their championing of make-up wearing, hair-straightening, brief-wearing metrosexual Phillip. They’ll no doubt be fretting somewhat over his aggressive manner and his way with a make up bag.

Ugeine and Nick of the T are both backing the teacher and will have been dispirited by his bumbling silence in week 4 – in a management performance that was possibly too subtle for any of us to understand.

Lord Milky and myopiniononstuff (aka Dave) are still in the running with the Essex giantess with the enormous mouth. An anonymous week for Debra who escaped the finger by being edited out of the mix. ‘Debra’s a cow’ Clarry added, some time ago.

Sue De Nymh’s choice is still in the running – but wiley Sue has thrown me a curveball by cunningly voting twice for two different members of the cast. I have to allow it through as I didn’t notice when it happened. Will it matter come the final judgement? We’ll have to wait and see.

Your host Swines is still in the running despite a disastrous performance from Yasmina on the show and outside of it, where women seem to be rallying one another into explaining that Yasmina’s ‘not all that’. Which they have every right to do. ELM joins me in my championing of the headstrong betrayer.

Ruudboy joins the mix and follows Kimberly, the roughest, toughest and creamiest puffin to ever cross the Atlantic. Will she ever live that quote down?

Probably already regretting his pick, Scantregard opted for Ben – and who can argue with his choice of the quarrelsome little shit? Not me, I don’t get involved in these things.


So – it turns out Sue De Nymh‘s tricky double-hander proved pointless, as her second choice went last night! Bad luck, Sue!
Cheats never prosper.

Last week beardy Maj went, leaving Vones and Badger Madge out in the cold. Come back in you crazy guys, and take another pick!

Not yet picked

This leaves us with:

  • Howard
  • James
  • Mona

unpicked and languishing without any backing.

Newcomers, feel free to back one. The rest of you are going to have to stick to your guns until your choice gets fired. And I’ll be able to work out if you’re trying to confuse me as I’ve now got a list of who’s picked who, including Who, following Sue‘s dirty tricks. That’s right – A LIST.

Stop being so bloody juvenile!

Very clever, Breeks. Disallowed Sugar, Nick or Margaret because they’re stupid choices she’s now backing The BBC. Piqued also chipped in with his backing for Alan Sugar – another brilliant master of satire.

More confusingly, Ugeine is opting for Scrappy Doo to win The Apprentice.

Too many cartoons can ruin a nubile mind.

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103 Responses to “The Apprentice: Who Will Win? Week 4”

  1. myopiniononstuff Says:

    I will live and die by my original decision, anyone who doesn’t is a coward.

  2. Badger Madge Says:

    I’m going to do a massive U-turn and pick Phillip. He reminds me of Martin Freeman, on whom I have a MASSIVE crush.

    He’ll most likely be fired next week, seeing as Maj and Paula were my faves. Tis the Badger Madge kiss o death, I tells thee.

  3. Swineshead Says:

    Sorry BM – no U Turns allowed. The rules are quite plain up there…

  4. Napoleon Says:

    Annoying that my runner turns out to be everything I despise in a man. I should have picked Paula … oh, hang on …

  5. Badger Madge Says:

    But I never said I didn’t think he’d win. Just that I thought he was a cock. And he’s still a cock. So I guess not an actual u-turn per se…

  6. Swineshead Says:

    He’s not quite the gruff, tough northerner you expected him to be, is he Nappers?

    Think on.

  7. Swineshead Says:

    Badger – I’ve just realised you’ve had your pick Maj fired – you can have Phil as your backup. Sorry about that.

  8. Sue De Nymh Says:

    I picked two different ones? How on earth did that happen?

  9. Napoleon Says:

    It wasn’t his Northerness that first drew my attention to him, Swineshead. It was his go-getting, no-nonsense attitude to car washing in the first task. The task where you misread him as being an undermining arse. How was I to know he was going to turn out to be a nancy boy?

    That blonde one looked gutted not to be on his side this time around. I reckon he’s nobbing her.

  10. piqued Says:

    Wasn’t there one called Simon?

  11. Mel Says:

    I am happy to stick by my guns. I still think Philip will win, although i disliked him more in this episode than any other, the curmudgeonly whinging little rat. I still think, that going on past Apprentii, Alan Sugar will like his spirit and feel that he can get things done. I think sirrallen will write off the wearing of cosmetics as just an idiosyncracy that he is prepared to put up with.

  12. Steve Says:

    Can I get on board with Evil Debra please.

    She’s so tall she could actually have been Darth Vader.

  13. Mel Says:

    Oh, and i loved that quote last night on yer fiyered about Debra being 6 foot tall, or seven foot with her mout open.

    Way to go Paula.

  14. piqued Says:

    That blonde won’t win, though she’s won my heart with her badly applied make-up (she looked like Aunt Sally last night) vertical mouth and insincere bottom

  15. Mel Says:

    I am unsurprised that James and Howard have not yet been picked.

    If our suggestion comes out to be the winner, what do we win?

  16. piqued Says:

    ‘Way to go Paula’

    Are we in LA, Mel?

  17. Mel Says:

    *We* are not in LA piqued; *I* am in Holland, and *you* are in London.

    Still a fantastic quote from the flame-haired one, whichever continent you happen to be on.

  18. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    I reckon it’s between Yasmina and the blonde one. I hope they hold hands.

  19. myopiniononstuff Says:

    The blonde one has the look of a tropical fish and wears the cutest little suits, DINLT.


  20. Nick of the T Says:

    I’ll stick by my lady detective….

  21. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Mind you…Matey is mentioned every episode.

  22. offensive_mango Says:

    Before the show began, I backed Paula as my favorite, but I also had Philip as my second favorite, and Yasmina as my third. So I’ll go on to Philip, though he’s a bit of a knob.

  23. piqued Says:

    ‘lady detective’

    Is that a dildo, Nick

  24. Mel Says:

    Your lady detective Nick?

  25. Nick of the T Says:

    It’s a dildon’t ha ha ha HA

  26. breeks Says:

    today i choose to pick – internet bloggers.

    they will win the apprentice, them.

  27. Nick of the T Says:

    Noorul reminds me of the characters in that Ladies Detective Agency program.
    I have mentioned it before….

  28. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Leave that kind of comment to the big boys, Nick of the T.

  29. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    The final five will be Blondie, Yasmina, Philip, Ben and the crab bloke.

  30. Mel Says:

    I reckon that Debra will be in it until at least the interviews. It may even be a Debra vs Philip final, but at this stage, i am not willing to be quoted on that.

  31. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Mel, i am hoping for a Chelsea v Arsenal final.

  32. breeks Says:

    when does the football season end and is it soon?

  33. Mel Says:

    God i hope so Breeks, although these days it seems like it is only off season for about 2 minutes.

  34. breeks Says:

    yes. it’s true. mr breeks like baseball as well, oddly, so there is now about 164 games of that to survive.

    happily the timezone-age makes watching games mostly impossible and he also loves ale and cycling more than baseball so can be diverted.

    stupid football. soccer, i mean.

  35. myopiniononstuff Says:


  36. indy Says:

    Do I Not Like That!: agree on the gunners – chelsea final.

  37. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    Dave, Arsenal will be at home in the second leg, are in good form at the moment, and with Theo terrorising the Man u defence, I reckon they could make the final. We will see however.

  38. Mel Says:

    tee hee, i have just read elsewhere that Yasmina looks like one of the sisters from off of B*Witched, and come to think of it, i see what they mean.

  39. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    I can see what Swines sees in her. She is sexy.

  40. breeks Says:

    one of the twins, oh yes.

    one of said twins was shagging and shacked up with shane lynch for a bit there.

  41. Excelsior! Says:

    I’m currently feeling confident in Phils corner. Whilst he’s revealed himself to have a temper shorter then a Brown popularity bounce, he usually spits his dummy for vaguely the right reasons.
    And he has a personality, unlike the charisma shaped hole that is Noorul, so will prob be allowed afew get out of jail cards a la Ben.

    Stupid work making me miss WWM Apprentice day. Grrrrrrrr.

  42. Mel Says:

    Breeks – i think they may be brother and sister, so i certainly hope he wasn’t schtupping her

  43. breeks Says:

    no, i’m sure not.

    (really? they seemed quite romantic).

    wiki says you’re right.

    still, they totally hugged.

  44. johnp Says:

    I reckon Phillip to win, he’s the geordie John Terry or maybe makem JT as he’s from Co.Durham. Then again what do I know, I’m still mourning the loss of Rocky. He was robbed I tell ya, robbed.

  45. Mel Says:

    But in a brother/ sister kind of way, not a sexually romantic one.

  46. breeks Says:


    it was for celebrity cash in the attic, too.

  47. fourstar Says:

    Oh here they all come, Nappers, joining us on the Phillip bandwagon. Tsk. Just remember who was there, backing the permatanned nancy from the start, eh?

    Arsenal v Barcelona CL final, by the way.

  48. Mel Says:

    I said from day one that I feared that Philip would win. But yes, they do all seem to be coming out of the woodwork.

  49. Mel Says:

    Jesus Breeks – they appeared on Celebrity Cash in the Attic. There is a Celebrity Cash in the Attic? Is that where all the z-listers end up, flogging the last of their trophies for coins?


  50. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Not again, fourstar. And we don’t want a Spanish team to win.

    We = myself.

  51. breeks Says:

    i think they give the coins to charity.

    least i hope they do, even the z listers.


  52. breeks Says:

  53. Mel Says:

    I hope they do too, breeks, but i bet they at least keep a cut. They should stick to E-bay.

  54. Excelsior! Says:

    How dare you fourstar, as soon as i was aware of the choice, i backed the angry geordie tranny. I’ll have no such slurs to my name damn your eyes.

  55. breeks Says:

    apparently lynch wanted the dosh to do up the garden of his latest property.

  56. fourstar Says:

    @myopiniononstuff: Agreed – I was in Paris in May 2006 and we don’t want that result again. But I can’t see Chelsea turning them over and I /can/ see us doing Man Utd over two legs. So Arsenal v Barca it is (again).

  57. Mel Says:

    Bloody hell, I have just looked at that website that breeks linked to. Judging by the picture, their definition of celebrity seems to be very loosely defined. I only recognise angela rippon and gloria honeybun

  58. Mel Says:

    and has he registered that as a charity breeks?

    *readies pen for letter to the Charity Commission*

  59. Napoleon Says:

    What do you bloody mean ‘joining the Phillip bandwagon’? I was the first to nail my colours to the mast on that score, Fourstar, you cheeky GET. I was championing the bastard before you’d even got y’damned wig on.

  60. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Fourstar – To be fair, nobody can predict which team will win. But you have to say that Barca and United are the two strongest teams. As a Gooner you’ll naturally decided Chelski and United will perish.

  61. Napoleon Says:

    Oh. I think I read your comment wrong. Sorry about that.

    You GET!

  62. Badger Madge Says:

    thanks swines. sorry i’ve just been watching the new series of power rangers. for work.

    i know.

    i’ll have phil then. the cock.

  63. fourstar Says:

    @Napoleon: I was having some toupee trouble that day, I must admit. But once I’d got the glue and powder off the keyboard, I was riding the Phillip tranny train as quickly as might be reasonably expected.

    @myopiniononstuff: Of course – if we could predict it, it would be bloody boring. Hence my totally biased opinion based purely on rampant expectation and fuelled by the wisdom of standing in the back room of a South London pub shouting at a telly.

  64. fourstar Says:

    @Napoleon: I may have thrown you with my grammatically-correct use of the comma.

    I am, though, it must be said, a GET.

  65. breeks Says:

    bastard fuck i’m getting a cunting shitting cold.

  66. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – You wouldn’t know a cold if it shit down your back.

  67. Mel Says:

    Well, don’t worry Breeks it should inspire some good recepies

  68. breeks Says:

    naps – you know nothing. i AM a cold. it’s what i do. in fact, a cold is but the first step on an arduous and brave journey through tonsillitis, laryngitis and onto full blown chest infection.

    every time.

    so shuddup.

  69. Napoleon Says:

    Breeks – I thought you were a woman? Your mob doesn’t get colds, surely? Not in the way we – the menfolk, your betters – get ’em. You’re a man, aren’t you? A man pretending to be a bird. Like Dave.

  70. Badger Madge Says:

    what’s with the @someone? are we on tweeter or something?

  71. breeks Says:

    i am a man, as it happens. you’ve been chatting all this time to a 48 year old keg-loving ex-frat boy in alabama.

    love you.


  72. Napoleon Says:

    Bloody typical. If you are a man, you have my deepest sympathies for the horrific, cold-related symptoms to come.

  73. Badger Madge Says:


    @breeks? you’re just my type

  74. breeks Says:

    @badger madge – c’mon over, pretty lady.

    *washes hair*
    *has no hair*
    *washes dog’s hair*

  75. Mel Says:

    Ah yes, the internets where:
    men are men
    attractive sounding ladies are men
    12 YO girls are the police.

  76. Napoleon Says:

    Just about sums up Second Life, that.

  77. breeks Says:

    is that still going, second life? geez. don’t they know we’ve got ds lites now?

  78. Napoleon Says:

    I was reading about it in the paper when I was in hospital. Apparently it’s been taken over by corporations and advertisers and has, thus, been abandoned by the hep-cats in droves.

    And that reminds me … The *ALL NEW* WWM Site COMING SOON!

  79. Napoleon Says:

    Anyway … where’s Dave’s lookalike dross? Or am I sharpening these knives for nothing?

  80. Mel Says:

    Coming When though? that is the question. We have all had the teaser…

  81. breeks Says:

    dave should do an ‘imagine-a-like’ for WWM regulars.

  82. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – There’s been a delay thanks to Swineshead buying the wrong sort of coal to power it. I’ve been trying to source more from a man at the back of the internet, but he’s unwilling to come down on price.

  83. Mel Says:

    No, Breeks because he would use very obvious things, like calling me Mel Geidroyc, just because her name is Mel.

    I imagine it would be poor.

  84. Mel Says:

    I could flog you a couple of sloar panels i have going cheap?

  85. breeks Says:

    naps – get dave on a cycle, pedalling.

  86. Badger Madge Says:

    also in other news, as soon as i get my laptop back off my ex, BMTV will (i promise) be back up and running again.

    i know. it’s kept you all up at night.

  87. Napoleon Says:

    Mel – I’ll pass on the offer to the boss. I think he’s out back, pecking at seeds.

    Breeks – Not a bad idea. Let me see what Swineshead says …

    … well I thought he was out back, pecking at seeds. Must have flown off …

  88. Napoleon Says:

    Badger – I no longer believe your LIES.

  89. breeks Says:

    if badger gets going again i never need watch any proper telly. it can be E! news, the wedding channel and heatTV for me always.

  90. Badger Madge Says:

    sounds like perfection breeks. just hook yourself up to a catheter and you need never leave the sofa!

    nappers – i know we have trust issues now. i’m sorry. but as soon as the ex gives it back, i hope i can prove to you that i’m worth it. saying that, i eailed him asking about it this morning and still haven’t had a reply. we work in the same building. i bet he sold it the c*nt…

  91. Do I Not Like That! Says:

    This “Chelski” nickname is fffing stupid. If you purport to support The
    Blues you would never use this term. Only arrivistes would use it as term.
    To those who are not Chelsea fans it is still ffffing stupid because “ski” is Polish not Russian.

  92. Napoleon Says:

    Badger – I remain to be convinced, I have to say. It’s the lies I can’t stand …

  93. Badger Madge Says:

    nappers. i’m sorry. forgive me.

  94. Napoleon Says:

    Forgive you? Yeah, alright then. I’m not one to bear grudges, after all …

    *tries to hide enormous list of grudges*

  95. Badger Madge Says:

    *crams lies back into cupboard*

    *picks up lie that’s fallen out*

    *crams in lie*

  96. Napoleon Says:

    You’d get arrested, I suppose, if you advertised yourself as a children’s entertainer who went by the name of ‘Mr. Jizzbit & The Jizzers (puppets)’?

  97. Napoleon Says:

    “To those who are not Chelsea fans it is still ffffing stupid because “ski” is Polish not Russian.”

    I missed this. You’re wrong, DINLT. Everyone knows English is translated into Russian by adding ‘-ski’ to the ends of words. ‘Tarpaulin’ becomes ‘Tarpaulinski’, ‘Big Udder’ becomes ‘Big Udderski’ and ‘XXX Road Trip’ becomes ‘XXX Road Tripski’. You’re not knowing this makes you look IGNORANT.

  98. myopiniononstuff Says:

    Napoleon – I didn’t like the comment you left on my blog so I’ve ‘edited’ to what I think you meant to say. I know how you struggle with your words.

  99. Mel Says:

    Well, maybe not arrested, but i don’t think you’d get too many bookings Nappers. Why d’you ask?

    When i was growing up there was a big thing on the local news once because a glazing company had decided to relaunch themselves under the new name of Bodgett and Leggett. With hilarious results, obviously.

  100. Napoleon Says:

    Dave – You little runt. For the record, I actually said Dave’s newest lookalike was the worst one yet. I shall be retaliating against Dave shortly.

    Mel – I’m thinking of a change in career.

  101. Mel Says:

    Nappers, in that case, i heard ttionershat Thailand needed a couple of good execu

  102. Mel Says:

    Grr, shitty self deleting touch pad.

    That should read I heard that Thailand were looking for a couple of executioners.

  103. Napoleon Says:

    I could do that. I’ve always fancied killing somebody for money.

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