NewsGush – Brand & Ross Debacle Escalates


With this just in from the BBC, following front pages, comments from politicians and the blogosphere ignited, it seems nobody’s got anything better to report or comment on than this whole sorry affair…

And as a result, Ross and Brand have been suspended from the airwaves. More as a result of the furore rather than the stunt itself, one suspects.

Nice to see Georgina Baillie chipping in at last with some very Sun-style quotes. Off with their heads!

Maybe us bloggers helped this to get out of hand… and maybe politicians shouldn’t be asked such trivial questions. But on a day when Meredith Kercher’s killer has been jailed (one of three, potentially), an earthquake in Pakistan has killed loads of people and we’re all continuing to ignore this credit crunch business, is a silly phone call really something we should be focusing on? Of course, with this post I’m part of the paradoxical problem…

Isn’t it time we all grew up?

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115 Responses to “NewsGush – Brand & Ross Debacle Escalates”

  1. ugeine Says:

    18,000 people have complained now. Before the Mail got involved, it was in the 100s.

  2. indy Says:

    “The prime minister had also criticised the pair for “inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour”. ”

    ok. since when is the prime minister responsible for all that is said and done on tv? please don’t drag g brown into this sh*t. anyone who remember what happened last time he made a statement on tv content? “a vote for shilpa shetty is a vote for england” (or something like that). note to brown: to vote for someone in big brother terms mean that the person voted for is f*cked off the show.

  3. charliemingles Says:

    are we allowed to talk about dead set yet?

    Im quite enjoying it – but then, I have low expectations with these sort of things. I think its pretty enjoyable rubbish myself.

    TV: as I said next-door a few minutes ago, loved all your russsian tatoos and names stuff. very interesting.

  4. charliemingles Says:

    fuck, I cant beieve this thing is ross/brand still running. I think everyones just glad to get something to talk about rather than the credit crunch.

  5. Edna Welthorpe Says:

    I think you’ ve hit the nail on the head, Mingles old chap…

  6. ugeine Says:

    I think it’s bloody worrying how much power the tabloids have over Government institutions. First Ms Smith ignores the opinions of a specially assembled group of experts on drug policy in favour of a newspaper that prints stories such as ‘my cannabis mad teenager stabbed our gran’ and now The Daily Mail has the power to get radio stars suspended.

  7. fourstar Says:

    I thought it was quite funny. Just me then.

  8. charliemingles Says:

    no. I thought it was quite funny too Fourstar. But I have to say, once russell started the singing hed obviously lost it and his ego, fueled by sexual conquests, was clearly out of control. he usually has the sensible matt morgan to reign him in. instead that week he had jonathan ross and they were egging each other on. I fear his 5 minutes may be coming to an end. Unless he reigns in his strutting shagger side, he’ll just piss off his young female fanbase.

  9. Swineshead Says:

    The first call was quite funny. All this media outrage isn’t though…

  10. Napoleon Says:

    Afternoon. I’ve been far too busy declaring war on Andrew Collins to bother with this Watch With Mothers nonsense. Now I’ve done that, I’ve tuned in and found out they’ve suspended both Ross and his stick-thin, Frankie Howerd-impersonating cronie. It’s amazing how quickly the BBC’ll give in to loonies nowadays, ain’t it?

  11. indy Says:

    this can’t be for real, right? why should mr g brown have to bother about smug bastawd and shaggy in a situation of financal crisis where the whole world seems to be moving fast towards mad max land?

    i think this “debacle” is a pr scam by mr sachs in order to launch a new series of stereotype based anti-latino propaganda.

  12. Swineshead Says:

    *is almost too frightened to check Ben’s site*

  13. Napoleon Says:

    There’s nothing wrong with a bit of healthy cut ‘n’ thrust, Swineshead.

  14. Swineshead Says:

    Cut and thrust!
    That’s the ticket.

  15. Nick of the T Says:

    Fucking ridiculous.

    The BBC has no balls whatsoever. They should tell old Manuel to fuck off.

    So what if he got a bit upset SO FUCKING WHAT?

    Suspending their employees for doing their job!

    I shall be canceling my license forthwith….

  16. Napoleon Says:

    Now then. I reckon they should drag Brand, Ross and – fuck it – Dido to Tyburn in chains, slice open their bellies, tie their guts to windlasses, and let the buggers rip. That’ll teach ’em not to insult Saint Andrew of Sachs again … and also not to do any more o’ them ‘orrible songs.

  17. Napoleon Says:

    Nick – I suggest you put your foot through your radio … and send the BBC the bill!

  18. charliemingles Says:

    I still think sachs should be prosecuted for his ‘mentally-deranged spanish chimp’ acting in the 1970s’. almost ruined a perfectly funny sitcom.

    If you look him up on wikipedia, hes done fuck all since and Ive just learned that he did a version of Joe dolce’s shit-stained SHaduppayurface.

    the little fuckwits escaped prosecution long enough say I.

  19. Swineshead Says:

    I’ll tell you who’s really at fault here – and that’s possibly Andrew Collins.

  20. Napoleon Says:

    He narrates stuff, doesn’t he? Hiding in the shadows like a paedophile. Now I’m not saying he IS a paedophile – I’m suggesting he could be one, allegedly.

  21. Napoleon Says:

    Swineshead – I’d second that emotion. I’m currently drawing up a list of the crimes Collins has committed against humanity, and I might just add this new accusation of yours to it.

  22. charliemingles Says:

    even though he is completely blameless and I have no evidence whatsoever to support my claims, I feel confident in agreeing with swinesheads assertion that it is indeed andrew collins who is responsible for this whole debacle.

  23. indy Says:

    nap: whadda whadda you… whadda you imply… implying

    *defends sachs from peado attacks in katona-style*

  24. Swineshead Says:

    Collins’ recent post regarding this whole affair was clearly a curveball, callously tossed to distract the public from the fact that he scripted each and every one of those answerphone messages – a gig he got as a result of his successful spell writing words for people on Eastenders to say out of their mouths.

  25. Napoleon Says:

    You want evidence, Mingles? I’ve got it coming out of my ears! READ THIS:

    “With the suspension of Ross and Brand, the BBC will have to turn to their third best presenter to pick up the slack. That man is wheelchair-bound maniac and inventor of the atomic bomb, Andrew Collins.” – Wikipedia

    SEE? ‘Dastardly’, I call it.

  26. indy Says:

    who is this a collins fellow anyway?

    i know nooothing about him. i’m from jönköping.

  27. ugeine Says:

    Ah, so it was all Collins after all? Thought as much, sounds like the kind of thing he’d do.

  28. Swineshead Says:

    Andrew Collins is a journalist, writer, Tv presenter and inventor of the atomic bomb.

  29. charliemingles Says:

    apologies napoleon. I can see it in black and white now.

    I should by now be well aware of the veracity of your journailstic research. its not like you just make this stuff up. I feel ashamed for ever doubting you sir.

  30. Napoleon Says:

    Indy – Only the most mean-spirited son-of-a-gun you’re ever likely to meet. Did you know, for instance, that the shadowy ‘second shooter’ spotted furiously wheeling away at high speed from the grassy knoll bore a strong resemblance to Andrew Collins? Now I’m not saying it was Andrew Collins – I’m merely suggesting it was, allegedly.

  31. ugeine Says:

    He beat my dad up once.

  32. Napoleon Says:

    Mingles – Apology accepted. They doubted me when I said the Twin Towers hadn’t been knocked down by aeroplanes (but were merely being hidden on live TV by David Copperfield) until I showed them incontravertible evidence.

  33. Napoleon Says:

    *writes down what Ugeine’s just said*

  34. charliemingles Says:

    Indeed napoleon. Why one volume of his autobiography is actually called ‘Thats me in the corner’

    What more evidence do you need? these criminals often want to be caught and leave these clues subconsciously.

  35. Napoleon Says:

    I stole a copy of that book from a friend who no longer speaks to me for some reason, Mingles. It’s worse than Mein Kampf, quite frankly.

  36. ugeine Says:

    hahahahaha. Contrary to her public image, Peaches Geldoph pens an column for a fashion mag where she talks about shopping, shopping, boys, shopping, boys, shopping and shopping.

  37. charliemingles Says:

    noted satanist and shit-eating trustfund bad boy Alesteir Crowley is known as the wickedest man in the wordl. But I would suggest it is the evil mastermind collins who really deserves this monicker. based on what Ive heard from yourself, a noted source of journalistic integrity.

  38. Napoleon Says:

    So I says to Shania Twain,

    “Shania, I’ve invented a method of turning lead into gold.”

    And she says,

    “That don’t impress me much.”

    Well that was when I lost my temper and started battering her, officer.

  39. Nick of the T Says:

    One cannot comment on the BBC web page anymore!!!

    I may make a ranty film for the tube of you later.
    I am seriously pissed off.

    I’m wondering if there is a bill the government is trying to put through this week on the quiet.
    “Fetch the ball you dumb fucks” it’s saying to us US.

    I will dig, but I’m going up the shops.

    3 fried eggs and veggie bacon!

  40. ugeine Says:

    That Twain woman is a bitch. I introduced her to my friend, Hermann Oberth, and she wasn’t impressed.

  41. Napoleon Says:

    My lunch was singularly unimpressive today: A packet of Monster Munch, a big bottle of Lucozade and a 400mg Ibuprofen tablet. Rubbish!

  42. charliemingles Says:

    that lunch dont impress a-me much Napoleon.

    in fact, it sends a shudder through my achy-breaky heart,

  43. Napoleon Says:

    I’m feeling a bit under the weather, Mingles. First, my favourite Spanish waiter impersonator was insulted by the devils that are Johnathan Ross and Frankie Howerd, and then I discovered my hero Andrew Collins was a direct descendent of King Herod (the one that murthered them babies). All this is too much for my delicate constitution to take.

  44. charliemingles Says:

    its quite something when a mild-mannered, not easily riled man like yourself takes up the cudgels. quite something indeed.

  45. Napoleon Says:

    I’m usually able to contain these feelings of rage, as you know. However, Ross and Howerd’s attacks on Sachs (hey!), and Collins’s killing of the first born were the STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL’S BACK.

  46. charliemingles Says:

    I also hear tell that every friday lunchtiime he locks himself in an attic with another man and they spout filth and libel into a laptop whilst eating muffins.

    I hear tell that the other man wears nought but a dressing-gown. they call this diabolical fiendishness a podcast.

    And in a christian country mister perry! will this evil never stop?

  47. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Been away, just read the news, it’s fucking lunacy it what it is, I am outraged, going to spit out of the window.
    I had rabbit stew for lunch.

  48. Napoleon Says:

    Disgusting, is what I call it. What next? Shitting in the street?

  49. Toothed Varmint Says:

    If caught short. We’ve all been there, I’m sure.

  50. Swineshead Says:

    *shits in the street*

    I see the might Tottinhams are playing the Arsenal Big Guns this evening. Anyone care to predict a scoreline? Arsebums are at home.

  51. charliemingles Says:

    shitting in the street is I believe channel 5’s new reality gameshow.

    10 celebs from the glittering world of showbiz each have to live and work and shit in a gutter on a sidestreet somewhere in london.

    Diabolical brown magician Gillian Mcteeth then examines the foetal matter and the winner is the one whose stools can predict the future.

    for many its a step up.

  52. daveselectricblanket Says:

    I don’t know about this Sach characters grandaughter but I wouldn’t mind leaving offensive messages on Perry’s folk’s answermachine about how lovely his sister is.

  53. ugeine Says:

    Tottenham 3 – 0 Arsenal.

    Relax, I’m Spanish.

  54. Napoleon Says:

    Ugeine’s being a tad optimistic there, I fancy.

  55. daveselectricblanket Says:

    It’s all about Hull this evening. 5-1!

  56. charliemingles Says:

    “Its just really sad that this is what entertainment has come to on the BBC”

    says the girl who gets her tits out as part of the satanic sluts. Morally indignant strippers. what next?

    You know who I blame …?

  57. Napoleon Says:

    Apparently, they’re not strippers, Mingles. They’re something called ‘burlesque dancers’. Y’see, strippers are thin women who take off their clothes for money, whereas burlesque dancers are fat women who take off various items of complicated Victorian corsetry for money. Get it right.

  58. daveselectricblanket Says:

    Which one’s your sister, Napoleon?

  59. charliemingles Says:

    I get it napoleon. the former, working-class women, are mere meat-puppets of the male hegmony.

    Whilst the later, being middle-class and educated, get their tits out in a more postmodern post-feminist fashion. which is completely different.

    It certainly makes all the difference to me. I always wank off to burlesque dancers with far more respect than I would with mere strippers.
    Afterwards, I usually remark to myself ‘ well, that certainly showed me!’

  60. charliemingles Says:


  61. extremelisteningmode Says:

    I think they were in the wrong, but the apology should have been the end of it. Can’t believe how spineless the Beeb is post-Hutton.

    Also, anything the Daily Mail wants should, in a just and true Universe, fail to happen. This is why I’m not the BBC DG. If I was, I’d have given them both a pay-rise just to annoy them.

  62. extremelisteningmode Says:

    2-0 to the Arsenal.

  63. Toothed Varmint Says:

    What I found strange – and I’m being completely off-topic here, sorry – is that I expected to absolutely hate this new Neil Morrisey beer programme since I don’t like the git, but it was kind of allright, actually. Mind you, the sight of him and his Guy Secretan-looking mate homoerotically splashing in a bath full of beer made my eyes retch.

  64. ugeine Says:

    Funny stuff…

  65. charliemingles Says:

    looks like napoleon has a very special visitor on his comments section. Yikes!

  66. Napoleon Says:

    Not only have the disabled lobby taken up the cudgels, but also Collins himself has threatened me with the firm hand of the law. I told you there was something sinister going on …

  67. Swineshead Says:

    Is that how you spell ’emporor’ or is it ’emperor’?

  68. charliemingles Says:

    who even mentioned ‘ emperor’?

    you sound like Dave.

  69. charliemingles Says:


  70. Napoleon Says:

    My hands were shaking as I typed that, Swineshead. Any minute now I’m expecting a team of expensive lawyers to hammer down my door and break my legs.

  71. Swineshead Says:

    It’s on the family tree.

    I think this is the point where I distance myself from this campaign lest NC loses the plot.

  72. daveselectricblanket Says:


  73. Toothed Varmint Says:


  74. Napoleon Says:

    You’re only distancing y’self through FEAR, Swineshead. Fear that Collins will thrust a polonium-tipped umberella into your thigh as he wheels past you on Tower Bridge. Spineless is what you is.

  75. ugeine Says:

    Basically, offensive jokes are fine and the PC liberals are bad for thinking we should ban these jokes, unless somebody gets offended by an offensive joke, and that has come from the BBC, in which case offensive jokes should result in the sacking of said jesters and the BBC should havbe it’s funding cut.

    With this kind of clear cut moral compass, it’s strange more young people don’t read the Mail.

  76. Toothed Varmint Says:

    Andrey Kolesov and his radioactive umbrella.

  77. ugeine Says:

    Basically, offensive jokes are fine and the PC liberals are bad for thinking we should ban these jokes, unless somebody gets offended by a joke that has come from the BBC, in which case offensive jokes should result in the sacking of said jesters.

    With this kind of clear moral compass, why don’t more young people read the mail?

  78. Do I not like that! Says:

    Chaps, whilst I agree with Swines that maybe we should have more pressing concerns in the news this issue does fan the flames of some existing problems with the BBC.

    1). Those who enjoyed the humour would I suggest be youngish metropolitan types.
    2). Is this type of “humour” suitable for the BBC?
    3). Should licence payers fund it…Ross’s enormous salary etc.?
    4). Who allowed this to be broadcast and what was their criteria for Oking it?
    5). Doesn’t this humour give creedence to yob culture and is it not disrespectful to women?

    Please do not attack me on these issues as I am not saying I agree with it or not. However I think it is why this is being taken seriously by our fellow citizens.

  79. Napoleon Says:

    They should club ’em to death like they do seals.

  80. ugeine Says:

    Cue loud snorting at desk from me, cheers Napoleon.

  81. Napoleon Says:

    Glad to be of service, Ugeine.

  82. Napoleon Says:

    Cor, Bob Dylan doesn’t ‘alf go on, don’t he? I’m still listening to a song of his that started about three hours ago by my reckoning.

  83. daveselectricblanket Says:

    Dylan’s resorted to writing songs about Alicia Keys these days. So long the poet.

  84. charliemingles Says:

    yes napoleon. he was also bloody terrifying in that documentary where he wandered around Venice in that little red dufflecoat murdering people.

    I blame alan price and Donovan for encouraging him in the first place..

  85. ugeine Says:

    I like singing pop songs in the style of Dylan. Try singing ‘I kissed a girl’ by Katy Perry with that style voice, it kills an hour.

  86. Quincy PhD Says:

    A friend of Ross’ is taking notes of support to be passed onto him…

  87. Mr H Says:

    Mr Perry – I think you’ll find that you’ve listened to 60 Bob Dylan songs in a row. They just all sound the same.

  88. Napoleon Says:

    Have I? This sounded like it was just the one, Mr. H. It had something to do with the Wild West. Anyone know it? I don’t know if there’s Redskins in the song, but I did catch something about horses.

  89. Swineshead Says:

    Lily and the Jack of Hearts?

    I love that song.

  90. Napoleon Says:

    Is that it? Goes on for about a month?

  91. Swineshead Says:

    Did it sound like a jaunty wild west tune? Did it sound like he’d just gone electric?

    It’s Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts, now I think of it.

  92. Mr H Says:

    Am I allowed to beat Swineshead about the head with a seal cub for admitting that he can tell the difference between Bob Dylan “songs”?

    It seems only fair.

  93. ugeine Says:

    Probably not, Mr. H, because fairness would dictate any retard who can tell the difference between ‘Hurricane’ and ‘blowin’ in the wind’ would get clubbed and we wouldn’t have a population left.

  94. Napoleon Says:

    It did sound like that, yes. Sort of jingly-jangly, if you catch m’drift, daddio.

  95. Swineshead Says:

    No, Mr H. Not seeing as I run this blog, you cock.

  96. Swineshead Says:

    No, Mr H. Not seeing as I run this blog, you cock.

  97. Do I not like that! Says:

    I know many many Bob Dylan songs and certainly do not believe they sound the same.

  98. Mr H Says:

    I am delighted to see that ugeine acknowledges that only retards can tell the difference between ‘Hurricane’ and ‘blowin’ in the wind’.

    However, assuming that they are the titles of Bob Dylan “songs”, that would make ugeine guilty of Bob Dylan knowledge, thus rendering them liable for said beating.

    It’s the way God intended it.

    PS – if I had two cocks, then I would rule the internet and this blog wouldn’t exist.

  99. Napoleon Says:

    It was jingly-jangly.

  100. Do I not like that! Says:

    btw Blood on the Tracks a brilliant album. I like Tangled up in Blue on that one…

  101. Do I not like that! Says:

    oh and Simple twist of fate is brill too…no horses though!

  102. ugeine Says:

    NP: Did you listen to it in the morning? If so, Bob may be fooooooolowing you.

  103. Napoleon Says:

    I apologise for my cronie Mr. H’s behaviour – he suffers from a severe mental disability caused by excessive drinking. I fear he’s followed me here from my site through the dark portal of the margin link list. I had no idea his baboon-like brain could figure out how one of those worked until now.

  104. Clarry Says:


    God they’re a bit serious over on Collins’ blog (sorry only just had chance to read it so am woefully behind the times as usual).

  105. Napoleon Says:

    I’m at war with Collins at the moment, Clarry. I’m boycotting his site until I can perform open-heart surgery on a cartoon version of him, extract his bread-basket, and emerge the victor.

  106. Clarry Says:

    Ha ha, I know NC I saw your blog!

  107. Napoleon Says:

    I was rather miffed to discover Stuart Maconie invented the atom bomb. That was the lynchpin of my evidence of Collins’s contempt for humanity.

  108. ugeine Says:

    Of course, Ross has never got into trouble for his house band, ‘four poofs and a piano.’ Isn’t that more offensive?

  109. indy Says:

    daily mail – russell brand: 1-0


  110. goerge Says:

    When does it become OK to get militant at the Mail?

    I’m sorry Nick T…

  111. Nick of the T Says:

    How gutless of the BBC to roll over and not support Brand and Ross over this ridiculous debacle and to kowtow to Sachs and Daily Mail journos.
    So Sachs was the “victim” of a crank call
    They even apologised.
    Sachs should be bloody ashamed of himself, silly old sod!
    I won’t be watching the forthcoming documentary about Sach’s appearance in The Bill.THAT was the reason he was called in the first place and he couldn’t even be bothered to publicize his own tawdry toss! Boooo!

    The BBC will moderate this comment I put on their website earlier. Why the apology goerge?

  112. Nick of the T Says:

  113. goerge Says:

    We shouldn’t give money to Children in Need for this. That’ll teach those freeloading bastards.

  114. Galactic Gordon Says:

    I believe that John Cleese has taken out a contract on Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand!

  115. Simpering Twats | Is This Thing On Podcast Says:

    […] Posted on October 29, 2008 by Nickofthet What a ridiculous and shameful event this whole Sachs, Ross and Brand balls up is. The gutless and cowardly BBC instead of sticking up for “their guys” decide to kowtow […]

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